In Reply to: Re: my dilemma, too posted by AG on January 07, 2004 at 22:56:55:
ahaha - that's exactly it, I have no "great certainty" what I believe. To me the key is to keep learning and discovering and researching, and as long as I don't think I have "it" then I'm safe.
Yes, I get into these musings, then I pull back into my Christian self because I'm still fearful that I will displease God (I have to say that) and somehow be rejected. So I still say I am of a Christian persuasion and do believe the bible as an inspired book, though I think it's been very misconstrued and I think the average Christian is living Christianity as it has been developed in this century, not as how it started. There is no doubt I believe in God, I just don't know what I believe. I know that the whole creation does show there is a creator. Otherwise, why would every single race on the face of the earth be reaching out towards some sort of Godhead. I see it in the simple things around me and I cannot believe that anyone that has borne a child cannot see there is something beyond us that created us.
For a long time after I left TF and my whole foundation crashed around me, I just held on to that poem about the footprints in the sand. I figured if there was a God, then he would just have to hold on to me because my faith was gone, my emotions were a mess and I had nothing left to hold on to. So there I am and here I am and I'm still searching. I can only count on my common sense and my own mind that was given to me. I can't count on anything else.