In Reply to: The Family's influence is still in our lives! posted by Freeatlast! on March 21, 2004 at 19:39:02:
I also recall how certain events that happened in my life helped determine if something was "the Lord" or not. You know, if your visa came through than it was pretty much determined that "it was the Lord" that you stay in that country. If it didn't come through as hoped and prayed for... then we all had to "check our hearts" to see if we were "out of God's will" or "sinning" in some area.
Of course if we got sick or if it rained, and if our plans were changed and not as we had determined was "the Lord", then we had to check our hearts again. When we were praying for something and waiting for the answer to come... there was a tendancy to "be good", be a "good sample", or "get prayed up to date" or other types of works!
My god... what happened to grace? I still have this hangover that I need to somehow earn my closeness to the Lord. Like I said before, if a person doesn't feel comfortable praying in the name of "the keys" or masturbating to Jesus or even just saying the "love words"... in their heart and subconscious, you'll always feel like you're following afar off... you're weak... you're not revolutionary enough. The people who are looked up to as the "bellwhethers" in the Family are the ones who practice all this junk... how sick!
I wonder what the Lord is thinking as He watches all of this?
Does anyone else still have any of these after-effects?