In Reply to: Re: S.D. posted by Kinda Gentler on November 18, 2004 at 16:09:52:
My reasoning was that perspective is yet another variable in the complicated world of cult recovery. I have read many of your posts but until your last post I hadn't understood you. I still wonder if I do. I know that because of the Family I became different. Some was bad but there were some good things that I still try to cultivate. The bad I try to get rid of.
I am mulling over the CD post but I tend to agree with the main ideas. A good example of this CD is Anna's post and your answer. Could those two positions be reconciled? I think they can. I am not sure that I can remove myself from following some of the stupid cult's commandments. I was not a robot but I was definitely under mental control. It is a tough thing. The Charles Manson girls are still in jail over their brainwashing.
Because I prefer to accept the Christian view that we should not judge others, I apply my conclusions to myself only. After all, I am responsible for me and for for what other people do, unless they are under my control. For this reason, I accept responsibilities for what emanated from me and not for what was projected onto me. Obviously, I was hard pressed to do what was expected of me or told to do, and when I could not leave for whatever reasons, I still had to follow through.
You solved the dilemma by placing the responsibility of those actions and results on the people who were forcing you to do things.
Other people solved it by placing that responsibility on themselves.
To judge the good or bad of these, and there may be other solutions, is not my interest. Each one of us has our own way to deal with these things. I like the idea Anna is talking about because it makes me view my experience from another perspective. And I need that. After all, I used to think I was so right about a lot and turned out to be that I was wrong.