In Reply to: Re: S.D. posted by Kinda Gentler on November 18, 2004 at 20:02:57:
You ask a loaded question, what did I view before that I now see as wrong.
One big thing is to use violent means to obtain results. I don't think that way now. I have changed. With respect to the cult, I used to believe that thinking that we were all married to each other was good - now I know it is wrong to believe that way.
For what you say, you were a wonderful mother to your children. If we aren't there for them, who will? I did see some loving people in the family who as nannies took good care of other people's children. Even though they were loving and responsible, they were not the parents. There is something special and important in that genetical bond. The family misses that.
But I think the key issue is what you say that bothers you. The categorization of some that all FG ar the same. I have no wards for that other than you cannot control what others think of you when you have done the best you can. Sometimes the best we have done is not appreciated or is not available to others. It seems to me that you take the opinions of people who don't know you as being too important. They don't even kno wyou exist, what do you care what they think of FGs? Is it maybe that those comments make you feel guilty and you react to that?
For what's worth it, you have nothing to feel guilty about. You have done your best, and it started the day you left the dammed family. Only those who know you and know what you have done and said have any right to comment on you. The others are probably trying to deal with their own rough spots. Don't give them more.
They should not give you more either but two wrongs don't make one right. I don't think like you but at least I can see you are hurt. It is difficult to have a conversation with people whose ideas and words bring back memories we are trying to avoid or overcome.
We are not categories of people but individuals.