In Reply to: Re: Welcome posted by Alleygata on January 21, 2005 at 08:21:53:
It took me about 17 years to find out that there is a community of exers who understand each other. We agree and many times don't see things the same way but our commonpast gives us an insight on each other that nobody else can grasp.
A second wife is a killer for most people but I've learn that not everybody's attachment to others is the same. I used to think that people who enter in an emotional or sentimental relationship, like a marriage normally is, really become one with other person. I don't think that way anymore. I used to be trusting, now I try to be but I am more guarded and careful. I don't like it but sad to say it is the state of affairs.
I am not sure what you mean with 'move on' but I can't just forget some things. I have a lot of good memories but some of the bad ones are so intense that on a way obscure everything else. I am a positive person and don't dwell in the past but I still catch myself remember some people in a very bad light for things they did that affected me in way they could have prevented.
I still believe that there are blunders of the mind and of the heart and try to give them the benefit of the doubt, nevertheless some of those actions hurt too deeply to just 'let go'. And when there is no recourse of addressing the issue, it is a mute point. I have learned to live with the pain is still there when I look.
So I try not to look. What I try to do is look at the good memories, the good things I learned. It has been a long process of regeneration focusing in those good things.
I like that idea of a CQ type of place. I hope it gets implemented here too for us, older folks. :-)