In Reply to: Re: I agree with Rocky posted by Civilian on March 25, 2005 at 19:34:43:
but not with fondness for the family at all. One is that I always did want to travel and yet there was a loss as well as a gain. I doubt I ever would have made it abroad had I not been in the family or the military.
The second part to that is that there was a definite loss in viewing the world from the cult perspective while there. Yes, that was a waste in my opinion too. I guess it would be like doing extended tours in Nam and then getting out of the military.
I do remember times though that had nothing at all to do with the family especially with regard to nature. Also, during the more loosely controlled RNR there were times that I did live like a "systemite" but no one knew it or cared because I turned over funds raised.
There were walks I took through the woods alone or times when I sat on a hilltop and watched the sun rising or setting. Those were times when I felt incredibly alive and at the same time I also remember feeling incredibly lonely.
There was the joy of crisp snow after coming from a hot country and seeing full moon reflections on snow covered hills and homes light up the night enough to read by moonlight.
The benefit there might be is that one day I would like to return to Europe as a "systemite" and just enjoy it. See some of the sites and know how to get around and where to stay because of having been there. But get to do it FREE from the family. I learned a lot more than a few begging phrases but wouldn't call myself fluent especially after years of no use of the languages I learned.
But I don't look back at the past and see "mostly good" or any good in Berg or top leadership in general. I remember one time when a woman donated toys to us and there were so many and some of them were toys my children were too old for or were not their forte. I had fun going in the poor area of town and giving these nice quality toys to needy children. Not thru an organization or in the name of the family or anything. Just as an individual.
There were times I had conversations or was invited to events by people on the outside where I did not reveal to them who I was with. I had some nice times then. But still the sadness.
By the way, I have no connection to the Family whatsoever and haven't for years. I was kind of a loner even within the family.
Also, I can see why this topic would be bothersome in light of what all is going on right now. So maybe now is not even the time to discuss this, especially where some seem to have fond memories of being in bondage and when there is much activity going on against the doctrines of the Family. Long overdue and glad some with the time and the resources are working on it.