In Reply to: Re: Don't let it eat you posted by Greg on June 25, 2005 at 15:06:05:
You sound like you really love her, but as one guy to another, I'm wondering if your deep love for her is misplaced. If you can't even trust her to tell you the truth in important issues of life, do you really want to pursue a longterm relationship with her?
Logically you'd probably say no, but I understand that your emotions are in turmoil. It's a tough situation, when a guy knows a girl is maybe not good for him, but the emotions are already solidly in place.
Another thing, besides not being willing to tell you the truth when you ask straight questions, is you believe she tried to manipulate you into joining a group with an agenda. Again, is that the kind of woman you want to pursue a longterm relationship with?
My feeling is things are not necessarily going to turn around, she's not going to break free mentally & bolt from the group --at least not in the near future-- so you might want to start telling yourself that it has to be over, for your own emotional wellbeing.
She may love you in her own way, but unless she's capable of loving you in a way that respects your desire for truth, & if she can't love you in a normal, healthy way, a relationship with her is doomed to shipwreck. I know you're probably disengaging yourself emotionally as best you can, & having been thru something like what you describe, I know how tenaticiously a guy can hang onto hope, but honestly I'd say cut your losses.
Either that or take her out for a walk & have an honest talk. Don't put it in writing. Ask direct questions & expect honest answers or else she's not worth it. I know that sounds hard to hear, but I don't want to see you hurt by someone who could be involved in a destructive group.