In Reply to: Thanks Ray posted by Zither on March 17, 2006 at 22:56:21:
"to you i am an atheist, but to God i am the loyal opposition."
your story is quite moving. it kind of brings to mind the passage that speaks of how jesus was moved w/ compassion as he looked upon those who were scattered as sheep w/o a shepherd. it does sound like "sam" did have many of the characteristics of a deity w/ compassion on those who struggle to find him, due to the constant barrage of those who either saw them as mutton, or were pretty much clueless themselves. (i thought your story about the psychiatrist was a hoot! would make a great scene in a movie!)
my story is not quite as dramatic. but looking for the God who loves me, and that i could love back, has been a journey. my sense is that the God whom i seek is also seeking me. sometimes that is comforting, and sometimes it is a bit scary. have you read the "narnia" tales? there is a scene when one of the characters inquires about aslan, asking if he were tame. the reply was something like "tame? oh, aslan is not a tame lion. but he is GOOD." sometimes life serves up stuff that makes that hard to see. but if i think of a God who would lay down his life for me, it helps. i came across a prayer by thomas merton, a 20th century contemplative monk, that i really like:
"my lord God, i have no idea where i am going. i do not see the road ahead of me. i cannot know for certain where it will end. nor do i really know myself, and the fact that i think i am following your will does not mean that i am actually doing so. but i believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. and i hope that i have that desire in all that i am doing. i hope that i will never do anything apart from that desire. and i know that if i do this you will lead me by the right road, though i may know nothing about it. therefore will i trust you always, though i may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. i will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my fears alone."
anyway, thanks for sharing a bit about your journey. happy trails...