In Reply to: Re: something i found posted by Rocky Bobola on October 19, 2006 at 14:34:39:
Once again, you've said it beautifully. You said it so well, and I know you've very knowledgeable on the subject.
You made me laugh about the unruly child in the mall. I had one like that, he was so unruly, I was sure he was going to be serious trouble as an adult. No matter where I took him, he had a huge temper tantrum (his screams could be heard for miles, no kidding) and people would turn around and look at me like "well, when are you going to swat him" and then there was the other crowd like "what is your problem, what have you done to him and you better not swat him." I don't know about you, but I've found it's so much easier to criticize other parents.
The brothers in TF would beat the snot out of him. I realized spanking didn't make a difference to him.
I had no idea what to do with him. I even took him to a therapist who was a total idiot. He had us do things like, put him in his room for days on end, feed him tomato soup because he hates tomatoes, etc., etc. I felt so bad for the poor kid. He was losing weight and screaming all day long. I think that was more damaging then spanking him, I would have rather spanked him and then loved him up afterwards and gone on with the day. They even gave his outbursts a name - explosive personality disorder - so???? What good did that do to name it??? They had no answers.
The good news is, this son is now one of the smartest, brightest, lovingest son one could have. So attentive and considerate. Who would have thunk? I was sure I had ruined him for life with my poor parenting skills. I think the bottom line is, children know when they are loved and when they are loved dearly. They could come from the best squeeky clean family environment, but if there is no love there, I can guarantee you, that child will grow up with serious issues.