In Reply to: Re: something i found posted by Rocky Bobola on October 19, 2006 at 14:34:39:
I could not agree more with you in that there are there many ways to discipline a child, just as many as there are parents. I think this conversation took a at some point by some people's defensiveness.
I would not blink if a mother slaps the padded bottom of a toddler with her hand as a way to get his attention but I would raise my voice if a father drags her child by the hair. I have seen it and done it in a crowded shopping mall until the security came and called the police. I don't know what the results were but it got the father's attention. Hopefully he never did it again.
Where is the line? It is a subjective matter and most reasonable people will not want laws and regulations to control their sense of discipline. As long as they are good and loving parents, I would agree with them except that there are parents who have no sense nor empathy. They need to have laws to regulate their behavior.
That creates problems of another type and even contradictions. Laws for one are laws for all and since abusive behavior needs to be controlled, laws are necessary. The problem appears when I think that my behavior is so good about something that I don't need any law. Example: I don't smoke, so not smoking makes me "good" and therefore whether there is a law or not, I am "good" and I don't need the law.
Now change the word smoke for spank and suddenly it changes color, doesn’t it? Most of us think well of ourselves and yet others do not see us the same way. Anyway, I am starting to repeat myself.
I suspect we are all taking about the same thing and would probably agree at some point about the general issues of spanking and even regulating it or not. But that is the nature of our conversation, and our personality. Some people, as I have read, come to the discussion with ideologies, others come to interact. Thank you for your views. After all, we are survivors of a kind, from a common experience of abuse at the hands of others.
I think that it is our responsibility to check and double check that our current behavior is not inherited from the experiences we went through during those early years when we were so impressionable. To deny that the possibility of that abusive behavior taking hold of our interactions is shortsighted and we must remind each other that it is very well possible - even when it is not well received.