Posted by Farmer on January 22, 2012 at 07:00:57
In Reply to: Re: God is cruel, God hates me posted by I Feel terrible on January 19, 2012 at 22:13:06:
As "promised"...I wanted also to address some personal experiences along the line...but I put the spiritual aspect first...cause from the Christian perspective...I think you have a faulty "theology", sorry my take for now
....If I have anger against God and my fellow neighbour...if I harbour unjust thoughts...I never feel well about it.I can't manage so far to always be thinking just and good, and probably I never will, while still in the flesh, but certainly I feel it...when somethings goes haywire...
The fault then...I know that 100%...I never had any doubt about that...lies with me...my shortcomings, deficiencies...and never with God...
Believing once quite strongly in predestination made me also getting upset with God...kind of...why is He not setting things up better for me...I am kind of shorttempered in that regard...later I always feel remorse...just to say...there is a judgmental side in me...feeling unfairly treated...and I know this is to be overcome...rather to exercise praise...knowing full and well, that God is perfect...weak as I am...I have sometimes a short span of enduring the daily chores and problems.
...I wished...there was less trouble...but deep down I know...things will turn out for the best for me (Romans 8:28...my confirmation verse...at the age of 14)...so in that regard I am not at all better than you...rather worse...I suspect.
As you know...lots of FGAs quit their education before joining...in their quest for meaning in life...I too dropped out of university...I didn't have any job-aspirations...money didn't mean much to me, wealth.
...I knew...the real things in life you can't buy.My goal was to find real everlasting truth...that's where I left the math-studies...because it was not "absolute enough"...I just turned fully to religion...big question then was...which religion?And amazingly enough...I found what I searched for.Thank God!!!
My parents obviously weren't very happy with my decision...worse even, that I stayed so long in TFI...sixteen years.Then after TFI I had to tend for a patchwork family of seven and found it hard to get adequate jobs, paying the bills...my qualifications were basically none.Later I made a 3 years-plus full qualification as electrician...but even then I was without much practical experience...Even now I am overqualified for the job I do...but the income is good...plus I have something like a job-guarantee...because of age and time in the company...being the worldwide market-leader..
It is a bit of a rut...especially when you get shoved around...just to optimize the productivity stats...many colleagues very early told me:
You're just a number here...but the plain truth...if I'd be gone...hundreds could take my place...nothing special.
So God willing I have something like 10 years more...by then I hope all my children will have finished their studies...being settled...then I hope I can relax a bit more..pursuing some of my interests more...getting deeper into biblical languages...reading more the hundred of books piled up at home, may be visiting again farflung places...may be witnessing more...but I have no job-aspirations.
It'd be nicer to have job which would suit more my deeper interests...but that course/chance got blocked...mainly due to my past decisions.
There was a TV report once some month ago about America...I love to see the regular foreign-reportages.It was about a brown/black/Afro...PC-wording??..American lady...I think she was a single mum.She started of her work-chores...5 jobs altogether to make ends meet...in the very early hours...forgot what it was...then she drove the schoolbus ...and then the next ones...I knew that in America this is fairly common...but for me that was really heroic...she said, that the yearly 10000 $ fees for her daughter's studies also need to be brought in.
Consider may be also the thousands of Spanish and Greek well educated...studied young people...who are without any prospects in their own country...because of the economic situation.I am sure many of them believe in God as well.
For the top jobs...unless having the wanted qualification by the industry, the needed strategic job-profile...there is also big competition even when having studied...though sooner or later they find much easier a job then the unqualified.
some hard facts in this competitive world....and often I am glad...I am not like those...who suffer a burn out...in that productivity race.
I hope you'll be one day happy and content for what comes along your way.I always consider those who have it far worse than me...that also cures me from bouts of moodiness, which come every now and then.
I wondered at times how TBITC (those born into the cult) managed...bright as they are...lots of them pursued studies...but then there was also the economic crisis, job shortage...so how they managed...whether or not all succeeded.
As for me...I thought...first of all...I learn for myself in life...then of course to manage better in life, jobwise etc...but the priorities still are the same...a job doesn't come before my spiritual necessities...and that may be is the longest, stable factor in my life, that thought.
And if someone manages to combine the fulfillment of deeper needs of us humans with a good payed job, all the better.What were you hoping to achieve?