Posted by CB on January 23, 2012 at 15:54:05
In Reply to: Re: God is cruel, God hates me posted by I feel terrible on January 23, 2012 at 07:31:50:
Boy, you make a lot of assumptions. Please try to avoid putting words into my mouth based on stuff you make up in your head as a consequence of where ever it is you've spent the last 20 years of your life. I only asked you to check out your own side of the street. I have no way of knowing what's going on over there. What I named are common problems we humans have control over when we get into blaming others, including God, for our problems.
As to blaming the victim: It's pretty obvious that we human beings are often our own worst enemies. I don't blame God for the holes I dig for myself and fall into. One way I stay away from the misery and powerlessness of a victim mentality is by owning as many of the thinking errors that stem from my fallen human condition: e.g., envy, self-pity, despair. Please do not interpret what I'm saying as "blaming" you for your unhappiness. You are not a bad person because you're unhappy and disappointed, but you are also not powerless to change your perception of your situation. I am encouraging you to take responsibility (not blame) for whatever it is you have the power to change. If you think you're powerless to change anything about the way you think, then you truly are in a heapload of shit and nothing I have to say is going to make any difference.
I am ALSO saying that I am not certain that we worship the same God. The God of my understanding is not cruel and vindictive. He is not a sadist who enjoys seeing his children suffer. God allows good people to suffer, but that is not the same as causing them to suffer because he's a sick, twisted jerk. Jesus said God makes the rain to fall on the wicked and the good. That's the nature of life--good and bad things happen regardless of who you think you are in God's eyes.
If I am able to play a role in God's plan of salvation, it is because I am fairly certain that this love story is not about me--it just includes me if I choose to turn my will over to Him. Actually, the story of God's love includes me if I DON'T choose to turn my will and life over to Him, but in such a case, my way in life gets a lot more chaotic and incomprehensible.
I personally do not subscribe to seeking signs and wonders as a way of knowing God's will for me. Jesus said, "A wicked and adulterous generation looks for a miraculous sign, but none will be given it except the sign of Jonah." The "sign of Jonah" that I look for is the experience of resurrection after what appears to be a defeat, because I know myself to be wicked and adulturous and prone to self delusion. Even Satan appears as an angel of light.
Here is why I suspect you have not really turned your life and will over to God. First of all, why would a sane person trust such a vindictive bastard with his or her life? I wouldn't. Second, I do not see the fruits of the Spirit in anything you have written about your situation. What is evident in your confession of faith is a perverse notion of love, and the absence of joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.
Jumping to defensive conclusions shows a lack of self-control. I do not wish to argue. If what I write is of no use to you, then do not bother with trying to dialog with me.