Posted by MG on September 16, 2012 at 03:32:14
In Reply to: Re: Question #3 posted by Extreme on September 14, 2012 at 09:34:24:
I'm still married to the person I met & fell in love with in the F. We now have grandkids. We left the F. after nearly 30 years, in 2001.
When we left we didn't have a healthy relationship. Since then our journey has been one of rebuilding ourselves, and when that was underway, our relationship started to get better, to become something real. The "ourselves" rebuilding was me making changes about me, independent of my wife; and the changes she's made, the personal developmental kind of changes, of course had to be independent of me and any of my manipulating. Once we were learning to be each one of us better in our own skins, things evolved in a positive way in our shared interpersonal relationship.
In the F. it was all so dysfuntional, to say the least. There was Berg the manipulator-in-chief, and here I was, a husband with the words of the prophet in my right hand, pressuring my wife to be obedient to the prophet, to share and to FF. At the same time FFing opened the door for me to have my share of relationships. In the end we were both manipulated and I'm responsible for choosing to allow myself to be so.
Since we've left the F. on occasion I've had opportunity to have sexual adventures, but it didn't happen. My relationship with my wife is really good and it would probably hurt her, and if she didn't know about it, it would hurt me by keeping a secret, I'm not good at secrets. Also, I've realized that having a sexual adventure would mainly be a male ego thing.
What others do is their choice and who they are. I believe it's a DNA thing. LGBT too, it's up to each individual to know oneself. If a couple chooses an open relationship why not? A husband or a wife has a relationship with someone else it's up to that person to figure it out. It's their life and body. I have a good number of friends who are divorced, women and men, it's not for me to judge. As long as it's not predatory, or with anyone underage I refrain from judging. The core issue for me is to know what I want, and I really appreciate and feel blessed in what I have with my wife.