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THE SUMMIT '96 LETTERS!--PART 1--By Maria 7/96 Maria #340 DO 3063
TABLE OF CONTENTS
What Is "Weakness"? 5
Avoiding the Pitfalls of Pride! 6
Follow the Whispers! 7
Missing Loved Ones! 8
Please Stay Humble! 10
Lessons on God's Will and Trusting Jesus Instead of Our Feelings! 11
Encouragement for Those Left Behind! 12
Two Hearts that Beat as One! 12
Judge Not by Outward Appearance!--See with the Lord's Eyes and His Love! 12
Little Sacrifices with Big Results! 13
Photographs as Prayer Reminders! 14
Clarification on My Reminders to Stay Humble!14
Mixing Business with Pleasure! 15
Jealousy Trials! 15
"Legitimately" Missing You vs. Missing You in the Wrong Way! 16
1. In March, April and May of this year, Peter and Gary were away from home. During this time, they hosted two series of meetings. The first set of meetings was held to discuss and pray about our GP book publications and other outreach tools, as I mentioned in my "News and Views--Part 2" Letter, and lasted almost two weeks. The second meeting was Summit '96, which lasted six weeks.
2. During the time they were away, I had regular communications with them, as they wrote me reports and summaries of their activities and I sent them frequent counsel. We also communicated about some of our regular business and matters related to the oversight of the Family--the same type of things we would discuss together if we were all in the same location. This meant that we communicated in some way almost every day. Some of what I wrote was material that I expected that Peter would read to those attending the meetings. Other parts were points directed more specifically to Peter and Gary, but which they felt would be good for all, and which they read with the attendees at their discretion. Still other communications were either business or personal matters that didn't pertain to the attendees and weren't necessary to read to them.
3. At both meetings, those attending reacted very positively to the portions of my Letters that were read to them, commenting on how much they appreciated being privy to my interaction with Peter and Gary, as well as hearing the counsel I was giving them. We received many enthusiastic reactions to these excerpts of my Letters. Not only were the attendees thankful for the spiritual input and strengthened by it, but they were of the opinion that hearing these things had helped them to get to know me in a more personal way than before.
4. Since these Letters seemed to have such a good effect on those who heard them, we prayed about publishing them for all of you, our dear Family worldwide. The Lord indicated that we should, so we have been assembling them into a number of GNs which we are calling "The Summit '96 Letters!" I pray they will be a blessing to you, too!
5. Following are excerpts of what the Lord said when we asked Him whether to publish these Summit Letters. As you'll see, the Lord not only talks about getting out these GNs, but also about holding meetings to show the videos of the Summit classes, which the CROs and VSs have already begun doing, and will continue to do over the next months.
6. (Prophecy, Jesus speaking:) Behold, I have done a new thing throughout My Kingdom! I have brought these young ones in [to the Summit], and I have poured into them in a new and greater way. It has effected great change in the lives of these who attended, these who I wooed, and these who I won, and these who I wedded.
7. I wish to noise abroad the news of all that I did, that others, too, may partake; that those who are hungering may drink in and may receive a measure of that which I did during this time. Feed them. For though they may not be able to partake of all that occurred, not having been present, yet they can partake and feast at the same table. My Spirit can move in their hearts and in their lives in a way that is very similar. I can woo them and I can win them.
8. So spread the news, noise it abroad! Let My children everywhere partake of this table--the table of this wedding feast, the table of the great banquet that I spread forth before these who were invited. Go to the highways and the hedges and feed them! Compel them to come in, to receive, to eat at the same table that they may be nourished, that they may grasp and understand the things of the Spirit that I have done. For I, too, will be winning and wooing them as your generals (CROs and other leadership) go forth and spread the news and show the videos and hold the meetings. My Spirit will be there and I will work in their hearts and in their lives. This will be preparation for them, preparation to receive. For I did not do this thing in a corner, but I wish for it to be noised abroad, and now is the time!
9. Give them the Words! Give them the Spirit! Help them to understand all that went on and all that I did--the enthusiasm, the love, the inspiration, the impact, the way My Spirit moved. Let them partake of it all. Let them hear the voice of their queen, the words that she wrote, the love that she expressed, the concerns that she had. Let them hear from the queen. Let them hear the way she is. Let them hear in her own words. Let them hear her concerns, her teaching, her love, her faith. Let My Spirit flow upon them so that they will feel that they partook, so that the Words that I pour forth through these missives, these GNs, these Letters, will work in their hearts and in their lives.
10. I want them to partake! I want them to feel as if they were there. For I wish to prepare them, to woo them, to win them and to draw them in.Give forth the words of the queen--the love words, the fun words, the serious words, the prayerful words, the prophetic words, all the words. Pour them forth! (End of prophecy.)
11. (Mama:) We've tried to keep these Letters pretty much as they were read to those at the Summit, with very little editing. The style of these "Summit Letters" is different than the Letters usually published in the GNs, because they are of a much more personal nature, as they were written to my teamworkers, one of whom is my husband! I've left in a lot of the personal items that I wrote to Peter, as I thought it would be interesting for you to hear how we interact with one another.
12. I've also left in quite a few of the endearing words I wrote to Peter, where I told him of my love for him. Originally I was planning to delete these personal words from these GNs, but after hearing that those who attended the Summit appreciated hearing them and benefited from them, I felt led to share portions of these words of love with all of you as well. Before sharing these very personal portions of my Letters, we had prayed and asked the Lord if it was His will. He made it clear that it was. Below are a few excerpts of the message He gave when we prayed about this subject:
13. (Jesus speaking:) Sing out the words of love! Ring out the words of love! Don't hold back for fear, but let them pour forth freely that they might encourage and edify and set free [the hearers], that they might be an example of love--how to show love and say love and be love for another.
14. So hold not back, but give freely! Let them see your heart, your longing, your passion, your desire. Let them feel the heat of your love. Let them see your devotion both to your husband and to Me. They will learn from [these words] how to put their love into words, how to be humble, how to show their need for another.
15. It shows them how to break down the walls between them and their loved ones. It shows them how to open up the avenues of communication and be honest and let My Love flow through words of love. You are putting into words the things that they have felt; but they have been embarrassed, thinking that they would be going too far to say such things, thinking that to express such words of love for another would be disloyal to their Lord, would be getting things out of proportion, would be getting tripped off.
16. So show them through your personal example how they can love another and yet still love Me the most, how they can have passionate, hot, wonderful, fulfilling love for another and yet still have Me in first place. In doing this you do the humble thing, and it benefits you and your humility, and it benefits the king and his humility. But it especially benefits the [hearers], for they are edified and encouraged.
17. So let it rip! Don't hold back! Pour forth freely! Don't be embarrassed, don't be ashamed, but be humble. Continue to do the humble thing. They will love you for it, and they will be forever grateful, for you are showing them how to be a lover for Jesus, how to be Jesus and how to love Jesus. (End of prophecy excerpts.)
18. Because you will be reading many such excerpts of my personal letters to Peter where I express not only my love and devotion to him, but also how much I need and desire him, there is something very important that I want to explain: Just because I am very much in love with Peter and we have a wonderful, fulfilling, passionate, romantic, fruitful, happy love relationship, that doesn't mean I don't love Dad just as much now as I ever did! I was very deeply in love with Dad for over 25 years, and my marriage to Peter has not changed that! Dad is as close to me now as he was when he was with us in the flesh. In fact, in some ways he's closer! There's not a day that goes by that I don't lovingly think about Dad and communicate with him in some way--either by hearing him whisper in my ear and heart, or by hearing his counsel, instruction and words of love directly, through the messages he gives in prophecy. He and I are still one in heart and mind and spirit. He is still my wonderful husband, my precious lover. I still need him very much!
19. You might wonder, "How come Mama didn't write much about her and Dad's relationship and how much they loved each other when she's written so much about Peter?" I can understand that you might have that question, and I can also see that because I'm now so vocal about my love for Peter, you might naturally draw the conclusion that my love for him is greater than my love for Dad. But I assure you, this is not the case. Maybe I should have shared more about my personal feelings for Dad when he was with us. Maybe I should have written more about our relationship from my perspective, but I didn't, for several reasons. To begin with, when Dad and I were together, most of the details of our love for one another were conveyed by him. If you were to research the Letters, I think you'd find that over the years he talked fairly extensively about our love for each other. Therefore, I felt Dad's words were sufficient to impart to you the depth of our love and devotion to one another. Maybe my letting Dad do most of the talking on this subject was one of the ways I hid behind Dad, but still, I felt he had covered this subject very well throughout the Letters.
20. Also, you may recall that during one of my "Love Story" talks, when I was confessing to not being very romantic or sentimental (at least not up until that time), I asked Peter and Gary and those of my Home how they'd describe me, and they said, "pragmatic, not a gusher, very controlled in my emotions, reserved." (See ML #2994:78, GN 637.) It just wasn't my natural personality to be very expressive in that way. But as you know, the Lord has been working on my pride, bringing me along step by step to this point where I have the humility to share more about my personal feelings and relationships. Thank the Lord!
21. Another reason I didn't feel the need to talk so much about my love for Dad was because I felt my love for Dad had been clearly manifested to the Family over the years through my actions, such as my constant care for him, and my repeated prayer requests for him in which I explained in detail his needs and battles, and pled with you to seek the Lord desperately for his healing, deliverance, encouragement, etc.
22. Even though I might have liked to talk more about my relationship with Dad and the wonderful experiences we had together, in earlier years it took me even longer to write and edit my Letters than it does now, so I had to concentrate on the most timely and urgent matters, such as important counsel needed by the whole Family about prayer, raising our children and teens, persecution, witnessing, discipleship, finances, overcoming weaknesses, implementing the Charter, unity, etc.
23. I'm sorry if I may not have been as communicative as you would have liked concerning my personal love for Dad, but at least now I want to set the record straight and tell you in no uncertain terms that I was very much in love with Dad and still am! He is still my lover and my husband. We are still united! We are one, as Dad told us in a message that we published in "Mama's Love Story!--Part 2": "And concerning your love and the fact that I worked to put you two [Peter and Mama] together, don't be afraid to share that. Don't be ashamed, don't worry, for it is only a continuation. It is a continuation of our love together, and it is a continuation of Jesus' and our love together. We're all still one." (ML #2993:34, GN 636).
24. In another message from Dad, which we published in "Mama's Love Story! --Part 3," he said: "I'm more a part of your life and of the things that you do and of the decisions that you make, and we're truly working together as I desire to work with you. I love to love you from here, and I love to kiss you from here, and I love to whisper to you from here. I love to be one with you from here. It's like we're more one than when we were together, for now we are together in every way possible. We are truly one.
25. "I know you love me. And I know your love for Peter does not detract from your love for me; in fact, I put that love in your heart because I wanted it to be easy for you, because I love you so dearly and I knew that if you had a love for him it would be easier for you to accept the things that we have planned. And I'm glad you didn't resist it. I'm proud of you that you didn't. I didn't know if you would. But you're so yielded, and it's very pleasant in my sight." (ML #2994:125,126,130, GN 637).
26. So you see, my love for Peter and the love he has for me has not detracted from my great love for Dad. It's wonderful how great and all-encompassing the Lord's love is! Praise the Lord!
27. On a different subject, this GN is compiled of "jewels" which touch on a variety of subjects, none of which is very complete. I've refrained from adding additional material and further explanations on each point. This was hard for me, as I usually like to make sure that the material which we publish is very well-rounded, covering all angles, and with as full an explanation as possible! However, if I were to do that with these Letters, it would take a very long time to get them out to you. Instead I've opted to publish them pretty much as they were written to Peter, Gary and Heather (a WS shepherdess who assisted them at the Summit meeting).
28. Because I'm publishing these Letters without having every point fully explained, please exercise wisdom and maturity when reading them. You will need to understand that not every point is complete. They are more like Dad's "Jewels" Letters, which were full of interesting points, good lessons and counsel, but did not offer complete counsel on every topic he discussed. If there is some point that you don't understand or you feel you need more information on, then look up further counsel on the subject in the thousands of other published Letters and our other Family material. Okay?
29. I pray that this series of GNs will be a blessing and a help to you. I also hope that through them, you can partake of the Summit meetings, too, and receive much of the same counsel and points that were shared with those attending. Since of course all of you couldn't come to the Summit, we're bringing part of the Summit to you! I love you. Love, Mama
What Is "Weakness"?
30. My darling, I love your spirit! I love everything about you, just the way Jesus made you for Himself, for His Kingdom, and for me! Thank you, my love, for having everyone at the meeting pray for us. You're so faithful to always do that.
31. You're also always faithful to give the credit for your good training back to Dad, and also to me--though what I learned I got from Dad, too! Of course, we all got it from the Lord, so He is the One Who gets the ultimate credit for anything good that we accomplish. When He picked me, He picked someone very weak in many ways, but that is so people will give Him the glory and not me.
32. People need to have human leadership, and that's why it's so very important that we live as close to Jesus as we can, so whatever they see us doing and saying will be a reflection of Jesus.--So we can truly say, "Follow me as I follow Him!" (1Cor. 11:1). Somebody has got to be His human representatives, and I guess we're it!
33. Of course, you are going to be at the Summit meeting in person, during which time your every word and action will be under scrutiny. So it's certainly comforting that the Lord has allowed for human error and weakness in our lives, and has even made it so that these frailties can cause Him to receive the glory. They don't have to be a shameful thing, but actually something we can glory in, because they show His strength.
34. So besides staying real close to Jesus and dependent on Him, in obedience and yieldedness, if we can be humble enough to let people see that we're weak, and therefore let them see Jesus in us, we'll have a pretty good combination. As that poem I gave you years ago before you went to the first Summit says, "Lord, may they see the teacher leaning hard on Thee."
35. Weakness is an interesting subject. Where it says, "When we are weak, then we are strong" (2Cor.12:10), what does that weakness entail? We know one thing that it can certainly include is physical affliction. When we talk about not being afraid to show that we are weak, I think some people mistakenly equate weakness with sin or the results of disobedience or unyieldedness.--Just like some of our folks are mistakenly interpreting the day of choices to be a time when they can do anything they want, including getting out of the Lord's will. Some people drink too much alcohol and say, "It's a weakness I have." Or they'll get on the phone for hour upon hour, gossiping and wasting time, and call it a "weakness for telephones." I really don't think that's what the Lord means when He asks us to be weak while He is strong.
36. I think by "weakness" the Lord means our human frailties, including afflictions. When you show your weakness, it includes your less-than-optimum physical strength, your not being up on all the details of every single subject, your needing others to help teamwork with you, etc. Certainly my slowness in my work, my lack of being able to naturally and easily express myself clearly (although, thank the Lord, in answer to your prayers, He manages to miraculously take over and help me express things well when addressing the Family, despite my lack of natural ability in this area), my poor memory, my shyness (pride), are all weaknesses. And I have to be careful that the shyness doesn't become unyieldedness or disobedience through not keeping it in check.--Otherwise something that is a weakness that the Lord uses to keep me humble and desperate could turn into a hindrance and a problem.
37. Anyway, that's what the young people will be looking to see--how you can be strong, and yet weak at the same time. How to live a confident Christian life, being strong in the Lord, yet not being afraid to show that you know nothing, you can do nothing, you are nothing in yourself. But that doesn't mean that you belittle yourself and feel inferior, or compare yourself with others and always tear yourself down. If you didn't have the Lord and didn't know that He is the One Who is living in you and working in you, You would have every right to feel inferior and no good for anything. But with the Lord working in you, He can override all of that, so that He and His power are seen, and not you and all your lacks.
38. How to be humble and not take the glory, yet not be negative about yourself, is a dilemma many people face. I think you've got a real good balance, Peter, as does Gary. I noticed that one of the folks at the GP pubs meeting mentioned something about that in their reaction--how you are confident in the Lord--while others mentioned that you showed that you had human frailties and weaknesses just like everyone else. The young people--and the older people too --need to see a sample of humility in giving the Lord and others the credit, but not being negative about yourself or the gifts and talents the Lord has or has not given you.
39. I can't even remember now why I started talking about this. I guess it was about how folks need to have earthly representatives of the Lord, so they can follow their sample of strength and weakness, and strength in weakness. All three of you will be wonderful samples of this: Strength in the Lord which comes through being weak in yourselves, knowing you have to depend on Jesus because you're nothing and you have nothing but Him.
Avoiding the Pitfalls of Pride!
40. Peter, you sure have managed to live through all the honor that you've gotten on your earlier trips pretty well. Maybe it's living with me that keeps you humble! Please know that I'm really praying for you, Sweetheart, and I know it is your very great desire not to fall into the pride trap, and I know you're going to really fight it. I know Gary will as well. Maybe it would be good once in a while to discuss that together in passing, just as a check to make sure you're both doing all right in that area.
41. Sweetheart, it's not that I think you are having any problem with it, or that I think you did anything wrong at all, or said anything wrong. I think things have been going great and you and Gary have just been terrific! It's just that I realize that this is always a danger, and I know you do, too. When I was out on my exercise bike praying for you tonight, I was praying that the Lord would keep helping you to walk in humility, and will keep helping Gary to do the same. I have more on this little sermon, but I don't have time now; maybe I can give it to you another day. I hope you won't mind. I think I probably would have to battle pride in a similar situation, so I suppose you will have to as well. So I will really be praying for you.
42. Over and over I come to the realization of how much more humble I need to become in so many areas. It's sort of scary, and all I can do is desperately ask the Lord to help me overcome my pride when the tests come, and do what He wants me to do regardless.--As well as not accepting credit which belongs to the Lord, or to someone else.
43. It's really scary to think that out of pride we might make the wrong decisions. I know I've done that sometimes in little personal things. I just really hate that and pray desperately that the Lord will help me not to. Thank the Lord that He gives the anointing when it comes to decisions that affect the Family or counsel we give to leadership or in the Letters. He does it because I'm very, very desperate to get it right, and also because I counsel with you and my other helpers, and of course most of all because we ask the Lord!
44. I know you're going to have battles not only over the Devil's whispers in your ear about how great you are, but over doing the humble thing. Of course, everyone has these battles to some extent, but in some instances they are probably going to be pretty great for you and Gary and Heather in this situation where it is really important.
45. Maybe I'm just prouder than the rest of you, but the Devil tempts me to be proud even in the smallest things, and I have to fight to overcome him: things like raising my hands in a meeting when I'm the only one doing it, or starting a song when I think I might get it started too high or too low, etc., all kinds of dinky little things. It makes me realize that if I yield to the temptation to be proud in these tiny things, when the big things come--the big tests where I need a lot of humility--it will be much more difficult to be humble! It's like one victory makes it easier for the next victory. The Lord gives us these little tests, which, if we pass them, will make it easier for us to pass the big ones!
Follow the Whispers!
46. Once in a while I wonder if the little ideas I get sometimes really are something the Lord is showing me or telling me, or if they are my own thoughts. I've come to the conclusion, however, that like Dad always said, if the voice is a good one and tells me to do something good that will only be helpful and not hurtful to anyone, it certainly must be of the Lord, one way or the other! It may not be an important revelation from the Lord Himself, but it certainly is a thought that must at least be inspired by the Lord.
47. I've had several such thoughts lately, and I came to the conclusion that I should go ahead and obey them; because if it's something good and according to the Word and the direction the Lord is leading, it must be of God!
48. If I don't follow through on these little checks or ideas, and I just brush them aside, what will happen one day if something is an important message from the Lord, but I fail to follow through on it because I've been in the habit of ignoring similar "nudges"?
49. I think the Lord wants us to get in the habit of doing these little things, even if we don't know whether they're important or not. So someday, if something comes along that does turn out to be important, we won't have missed it. This is probably one of the ways the Lord is teaching us and training us to follow the whispers, and to get in the habit of doing it, so we will always be ready to put into action what He shows us, and we won't spend a lot of His precious time arguing with Him over whether it's His voice talking to us or not. Of course, as I say, you'd better be very sure that it's something good and it is not going to be harmful in any way, or to anybody.
50. The more we accept that the good thoughts we get are from the Heavenly realm, the more obedient we will be to them. On the other hand, if we regard the thoughts that we have as only from "our own mind," it makes it much easier for us to push them aside and not obey them. I figure that if it is something good and it isn't going to hurt anyone or anything, whether I think it's the Lord or just my own idea, I'd better do it! Because what if I didn't do it and it turned out to be the Lord? Sometime in the future that little thought we had might really be the Lord, and if we're not in the habit of following through on even good ideas that we get, we might miss something He has for us. He might just be in some of those "good ideas."
51. We know that the Lord certainly does use our ideas and can often speak to us through them. Sometimes they are more our own ideas than other times. But if we can't be sure, we just have to take it as from the Lord anyway, and if it is a good thing and it is not going to hurt anything or anyone, to go ahead and do it. We probably should know by now that many of our ideas, if not prompted by the Lord Himself, come to us by means of our spirit helpers. (Of course, some requisites to be sure you're getting the Lord's voice and His signals are to be tuning in to Him, be yielded to His will and desire to do it, and be filled with and obedient to His Word.)
52. Look how Thai Abe (who went to be with the Lord some months back) told us in prophecy that he had earlier reminded me in the spirit of how his son wanted to hear from him from the spirit world. Thank the Lord, he was able to get through to me through my thoughts and remind me that I still hadn't had prayer for Isaac (his son), but which we did shortly thereafter, thank the Lord! I think we would probably be amazed at how many of our thoughts are not "our" thoughts, but come to us from others Above.
Missing Loved Ones!
53. The Lord is so, so good to us, Peter! It's impossible for us to thank Him enough or even say anything that could come close to expressing His great Love for us! Daily we feel it more and more, but it just continues to amaze me.
54. After having gone our separate ways for three months, and with the prospect of your perhaps doing more of these long trips, we could feel that we might grow apart in some ways, with things moving so fast and each of us being involved in different activities. There are so many things that we have to attend to, and so many people to be attended to, that we can't really concentrate so much on each other's work. And it looks like if Juan comes to stay here in our Home while you're at the Summit meeting, I'll be focusing a lot of my time and attention on him, in order to give him as much input as possible.
55. But my dearest love, after everything is all said and done, I know your love for me will remain strong. It has through many separations and many years. I know my love for you will also remain strong, because the Lord has said it. You have nothing to fear, and I have nothing to fear. And though we have to forsake our time together, the closeness of our sharing everything, of being involved so completely with each other, this is just a small sacrifice that doesn't at all weaken our love for each other, nor detract from it. It's solid and sure and nothing can harm it, because it's ordained by Jesus to continue.
56. There's a special place for you in my heart that is the most special place of all, except for the place that Dad and Jesus hold, and it will never be taken away! We were made for each other, to do His work and accomplish His will. Though we have to be apart, and though we have to be with others, this will only make our love grow stronger, and each time we come back together again we will feel a greater oneness than ever before.
* * *
57. My dearest Peter, just thinking about you makes me happy and all warm inside! It's amazing what an effect you have on me! Isn't it something how people can influence each other so greatly? Thank you for being such a good influence and doing such good things to me! I know some in particular that I'd like you to do to me right now!--But I guess I'll have to wait for those! But just keep on doing what you're doing right now and I'll keep being happy, because I know how much happiness it's bringing to others--and especially to our most wonderful Love Whom we both belong to.
58. I'll be sending you some Summit-related materials soon. Considering how very busy you are, I'm sure you're just dying to get them!--Ha! Really, I don't know how you juggle everything. You already have become quite an expert in management, but after you're done with this Summit meeting you're going to be able to manage and organize anything! Well, I know you have a lot of help and that you could never do it on your own! Besides, none of you, no matter how many you have helping, would be able to do it if the Lord didn't miraculously put things in place and show you the secrets of how to fit everything in and get everything done in decency and in order. You've had some good experience "managing" me!--And not only in managing, but in debate, teamwork, patience, sacrifice, yieldedness, humility, etc., through living so close to me.
* * *
59. Dearest Peter--my soul mate and my greatest earthly love!: Thank you for being Jesus for me. Thank you that I can see and feel His Love in you. Thank you for being Jesus to so many others also, who need Him so much! I love your dedication, your faith, your joy, your loyalty, your perseverance, your yieldedness, your humility and the depth of your desire to please Him!
60. I love all of your wonderful qualities that result from these: Your patience, your understanding, your affection, your listening ear, your give-and-take spirit, your stability of mind and spirit, your tranquillity, your dependency on others, your willingness to consider everyone's opinion, your willingness to tackle great jobs and carry great responsibilities, and so many, many more! Besides all those, I love your passionate nature, your sexiness, and the way we love Jesus together. Can you tell that I'm hopelessly in love with you?
61. I have a dilemma. On the one hand, I like you to think about me and miss me, a little at least. But on the other hand, I think it's probably better that you forget me as much as possible, so I'll try to pray that way. Well, really, I don't think I have to pray it, because the Lord already takes care of that by just making you so busy with so much to keep your mind on that you can't think too much about me anyway.
62. Well, when you get home, I'll make sure you think about me plenty! And I will be yearning for you, my love, desiring you greatly, wanting you deeply, and hungering for your love, your body, your spirit. When you're gone, there is a big empty space that won't be satisfied until you return. No one, nothing, can take your place in my heart, in my affections, in my bed! Anyway, it's too small now--the bed, that is!--Ha! I'm back to my little single one, and I certainly couldn't sleep in such tight quarters with anybody but you!
63. I've been having such precious "talk times" with Jesus on my bike as I exercise. Since you left, I haven't been listening to my work tapes while exercising, but have been spending that time in fellowship with our precious Husband. I really look forward to that time, which I usually take a couple of times a day. Since I don't take as much time when I first get up in the morning as I do when you're here, it's really worked out well for me to do it then, as my major times of stopping and praising the Lord and conferring with Him.
64. Of course, I try to stop and pray over things that I'm working on throughout the day, but I seem to be able to focus and concentrate better on the majors when I'm on my bike.--Maybe because my bed is mainly used for work (dictating and listening to work tapes) and sleep.--Unless you're here, at which time a few dimensions are added, such as prophecy and our praise times. Not to mention our exciting lovemaking! Nope!--I didn't forget the sex! How could I forget that with such a wonderful earthly partner, and a Heavenly one as well!--It's tremendous!
Please Stay Humble!
65. Dear Peter--how's my wonderful, handsome, big-hearted, humble husband? I hope you don't mind if I keep reminding you, among the other wonderful things, of the "humble" part. I know you're already humble, but I like you that way so much that I want you to stay that way! And with all the adulation you are bound to get as our "guru king"--as one of the men called you--you may have a few tests along that line. So I'm just trying to help you! If my reminders start to bother you, perhaps that will be a good indicator that you need to pray for a little more humility. Only the Lord can do the miracle to give you the humility needed in a situation like that.
66. We've seen so many folks ruined by pride that we know it's serious business. I guess the Lord had to give us a good taste of what it has done to some people so we'll want to vehemently and constantly fight against it.
67. I told Francis that that was my biggest prayer for him, and one that I pray quite frequently, that he will stay humble, or the Lord won't be able to use him. And me?--Oh yes, I'm praying that for myself, too! Francis said, "Well, Mama, you're quite humble!" I said, "Well, it's just like selective obedience--selective humility isn't good enough!" But at least it's true that, thank the Lord, He does keep me humble in His Own wonderful ways where it really counts. And the other places where I'm not humble, I'm praying that He'll work on these and help me to be more so.
68. So, my darling, you know I'm not just picking on you! But at this point in time, with what you are doing right now, I want to provide you with a "reality check" every so often. I'm really proud of you, but I just don't want you to be proud of yourself. I don't believe you are, and I think you are staying wonderfully humble, thank the Lord. The Lord has really helped you.
69. In mentioning this again, I'm just trying to do some preventative work, because I like you so very much the way you are and wouldn't want you to be any different. Maybe I don't even have to say anything, because as you said, the Lord speaks to you about the danger signals and helps you to fight against them. And I'm real thankful for that.
70. If I were there, we would be admonishing each other about a whole range of things, as well as commending each other, so I thought maybe I could continue my part at a distance! I don't know who is going to do your part with me while you're gone! I guess the Lord can handle me. Lord help us not to be sidetracked by any of the Enemy's devices--some of which can be so subtle and creep in on us before we know it, if we don't keep our guard up.
71. I love you, my sweetheart! You're such an encouragement to me, to know that we're such friends that I can tell you anything and you won't be offended! You're such a love gift from the Lord to me! You're such a precious treasure that He's entrusted into my care, and He has given me the responsibility to pray for you and help you all I can!--As you do likewise, with me. Since we both belong to Jesus and He loans us to each other, we have to take good care of His property for Him. Of course, He does the major part, with just a little help from us, and I know that He'll keep you on the right track and close to Him and dependent upon Him in everything.
72. It's wonderful that when we can't do it ourselves, when we are desperate for Him to do it, He brings up all the right situations and conditions that "force" us to stay close to Him. That's the only way the Lord ever "makes" us do something--when we tell Him we want Him to, because we don't have the strength or willpower to do it without Him practically forcing it on us!
73. Well, my darling, I hope I haven't ridden this point too much. I figure I'm one of the few people who is praying for you to stay humble. I know there are so many folks who are praying for your strength, your anointing, your health and your wisdom--and of course I'm doing that too--so I don't think you're going to have any problems along those lines, I know the Lord is going to pour down His blessings in every way in all those areas! But I figure it's my special responsibility to pray for your humility, because I know what a problem it can be when we lose it.
74. I love you, my dearest, and that's enough--too much--said. But you know me!--And you're so patient! You can tell everyone how you just sit there patiently and let me preach my sermons even after you've gotten the point after my first paragraph! You're so tolerant, and you really humor me--which you are having to do right now! Well, I had to give you my little daily "sermon," but now I'll get on to the business!
Lessons on God's Will and Trusting Jesus Instead of Our Feelings!
75. I finally got around to writing that difficult letter. As you know, letters are always difficult for me to write, and some of them--quite a few of them, in fact--I put off day after day, while I keep praying desperately that I'll be able to pass on the right message from the Lord in them.
76. The reason this particular letter was going to be so difficult was that I was having to tell this dear one what the Lord had showed us was His highest will for her, but at the same time leave plenty of room for her to make her own decision, trying not to "force" her to feel that she had to do what I was telling her was the Lord's highest for her. So you see the dilemma that I faced. The Lord told us in prophecy that she was being given two choices: One was His highest and the other was second best. He told me that I was supposed to tell her this, but to tell her that she had to make her own decision.
77. I tried to get out of it by then asking the Lord if I could just give her the prophecy where He was explaining her options. But He said no, that He wanted me to explain it to her myself, so that I could add my loving touch and understanding, and that I should paraphrase and put in my own words what He had said. But just think about it--how do you tell someone, "This is the Lord's highest will for you, and this is where we would like you to be. But there is another path, the Lord's second best, that you can choose and in which you will still be blessed and fruitful."
78. Well, that may seem easy enough, but to someone who has for years and years looked to me as the Lord's representative and tried to obey what I have expressed to her is the Lord's will, she might not really consider that there was any choice. So I was supposed to explain it to her in a way that she would really feel that she did have a choice, but still know exactly what the Lord's highest will for her was.
79. When you have lived all your life trying to find the Lord's highest, when you actually know what it is and are told by your top leaders what it is, it's pretty hard to do anything but that! And sometimes you do it just because you want to please the Lord and want to be in His highest will, and because your leaders want you to, but it's not really what you have in your heart to do. So then you continue to resist it in your mind and don't really yield to the Lord, even though you have supposedly chosen His highest.
80. So it doesn't pay to pressure people to do God's highest will for them, but rather let them make their own choice in their heart so they really want to do it. We may know what it is and we may tell them, and they may know what it is. But if they don't yield in their heart, but instead feel forced into it by someone else, it would have been better if they had chosen the second best in the first place. On the other hand, if they do decide to just go ahead and do it completely by faith, because they know it's the Lord's best even if it goes against what they feel or personally desire, often the Lord will change their heart and give them joy and fulfillment in His will.
81. This letter was a fight from the first word through to the last word! It was so hard for me to write and took me so long. I had the feeling that the whole thing was a big flop, and I was quite discouraged afterwards. I knew I had prayed so desperately for so long, and I couldn't see why it didn't go better! However, after it was typed and I got it back to go over my rough draft, I was amazed to see that it had turned out really well after all, and there were only a few small wording changes I had to make!
82. So the moral of that story is that again, we can't go by feelings! No matter how rough or unpolished or stumbling, halting, bumbling, awkward or rotten you feel your presentation has been, if you're in the Lord's will and have prayed desperately for His help, you have to know that He has helped you, no matter how you feel it's turned out! After I saw that it had come out pretty well after all, I realized how my lack of faith must have hurt the Lord! Here I'd prayed so desperately for so long for the Lord to help me, and then I was more or less blaming Him for not answering!--When He had, and He'd done it just the way He wanted it!
83. So I guess for me it's a repeated lesson on how we can't trust our feelings, but we have to trust Jesus instead. If we ask Him for bread, He won't give us a stone. If we ask Him for something, He will answer us, and our feelings don't have anything to do with it! I wish I would learn my lesson, though, because this happens to me pretty frequently where I just feel so discouraged after dictating something. But then when I listen to it, I realize that the Lord really did help me and it has turned out fairly well after all!
Encouragement for Those Left Behind!
84. In one of our new Letters, I'm encouraging all the young people who weren't invited to the Summit. (See "Mama's News and Views!--Part 3," ML #3053:29-53, GN 682.) I think it would be good to read your advance copy of this to those young people who were invited--not only to give them sympathy for the ones who have been left behind, but also to keep them a little humble, knowing that it's not that they're any better or loved any more by the Lord than all the others who didn't get to attend. In some cases it was because they were more available. In other cases because they have the right gifts from the Lord to be able to do a certain job. In other cases because we wanted to encourage them, etc. But it's definitely not because they are any better than anyone else, or that the Lord loves them more.
Two Hearts that Beat as One!
85. My darling sweetheart, my precious Peter, I love you, and I need you so much! It feels a little funny to have half of my heart somewhere else, but the wonderful thing is, the two halves can still beat together as one and can go right on, waiting for the time when Jesus puts them back together again. I'm so glad we can keep beating for Him wherever we are, whatever we are doing.
Judge Not by Outward Appearance! --See with the Lord's Eyes and His Love!
86. Please make sure all you shepherds remind yourselves how much easier it is to pour into the young people who are outgoing, more vocal, who contribute more, who are less shy, who come up to you wanting to talk, etc. But remember, some of the shy ones or those who are less outgoing are the young people who may need you the most. They'll need you to delve into those deep waters and wisely and understandingly draw them out.
87. Some of the flashy, showy types of personalities may seem very eager and happy to accumulate a lot of knowledge and a lot of leadership tips, etc. But if some may not outwardly seem to be getting as much out of things, it may be just because they are shy and feeling inferior and a little out of place and intimidated by their more flashy peers. But some of these may turn out to be the ones who will be even better shepherds--more understanding, more wise, more loving, more stable, more persevering. They may be around long after some of the others "throw in the towel." Well, I hope that none of your folks there will ever do that, but you never know. We may not be able to use them all as shepherds, but we have to pour into them as though we will be able to. We have to have the faith that the Lord will use them.
88. But please help the CROs to try to understand that as hard as it may be, they must try to see each of these young people with the Lord's eyes and with the Lord's Love and try not to be partial just because it is easier to like some people than others. To do this, you have to pray very hard for the Lord's Love and understanding. It's very important that those in the Lord's leadership don't let their natural feelings get in the way of showing the Lord's Love to everyone equally. Of course, you understand when I say "equally" you can't give every single person the exact same amount of time and the same attention, etc. But I don't have to go into a sermon about this because you understand what I am talking about.
89. This is also an important principle that you need to get across to the young people in some way or another: the importance of giving to all of our folks impartially and not being guilty of favoring some above others just because you like them better or they do more for you, etc. I think some leadership has been very guilty of this in the past. Favoritism for the wrong reasons has been quite a problem, so I would imagine that some of the examples the young people have seen along these lines have not been very good.
90. This is an important point for leaders who are traveling around seeing a lot of folks. Amy mentioned that when they were visiting the Homes in Russia, our boys had a tendency to zero in on certain girls that they particularly liked, and she had to talk to them several times about it. Sometimes it wasn't just girls they liked, sometimes it was people they felt more comfortable with that they gravitated to and spent more time with. So this can be a problem too. People who are easier to talk to, people who seem like they want you around more, people who seem to have more of a vacuum are of course the ones you are going to naturally want to spend more time with.
91. We have to remember that sometimes when people don't seem like they have a vacuum, it's just that they don't know how to express it. Sometimes, even when they don't have as much of a vacuum, you know that they need it and you have to give it to them anyway, and sometimes they are the ones who need it the most. So there are a lot of factors involved, but the thing that is the most important is just to pray desperately that the Lord will help us not to neglect the people who may need our love and our care and our input the most, in favor of those who we have more fun pouring into and who maybe we think are more potential.
92. We can probably look back on our history and realize that a lot of the ones who we thought were the most potential and had the most leadership ability are now no longer with us!--While some of the ones who we didn't think had as much potential have stuck around and done well.
Little Sacrifices with Big Results!
93. I got a letter back from dear M. After I wrote her and sent her the prophecies we received for her, she responded and was just thrilled with them! In the course of her letter she thanked me again for the love-up time I had with her years ago in which we kissed and cuddled and masturbated each other. She commented on what a blessing it was for her to spend that personal intimate time with me, as it made her feel so loved and so much closer to me. She said that when she looks back on that experience, it is still a source of great encouragement to her.
94. I was very convicted to read her comments and it certainly was a good reminder for me to not underestimate the tremendous, long-lasting fruit the little bits of love we can show others can bear. I do admit that it was a sacrifice--not because I didn't want to be with her, but because I had to humble my pride. But it was so little for me to give in proportion to the very great importance it held for her.
95. So as we can see, if we don't yield to the Lord's voice to make those little sacrifices that sometimes at the moment seem so big to us, we may miss some opportunity that would have been very far-reaching and even life-changing for someone else. Lord help us not to miss it, especially me, out of selfishness or out of pride, which can be part of selfishness.
96. I'm not very accustomed to having love-up with women. It's not my normal preference, but I don't have a big problem with showing love in that way to a woman if I know she needs it or wants it. The Lord is so tolerant and merciful to me. He goes so out of His way to show me His precious unconditional Love in every way possible, so I am thankful that the Lord helped me to be His Love for this precious woman and to give her what she needed and wanted. It was very sweet.
97. (If the above comments shock you, please review the counsel from Dad in "Women in Love," ML #292, in DB5. Also, the Love Charter states: "The Bible specifically prohibits male-with-male sexual activity, but there are no passages forbidding such activity between women. … Although many may consider affection between women distasteful, we must remember that love is what should guide us. We must be understanding of the needs of others, so if two women have the need for affection between themselves, since it is not Biblically forbidden, we should be loving and mature enough to understand. Any such female-with-female activity must be with mutual consent, and no one should be coerced or feel pressured into participating. Only if there is a mutual desire and agreement between two women may they be affectionate with one another." You may wish to read the full counsel on this subject in the Sex and Affection Rules, point 11L, on page 139 of the Love Charter.)
Photographs as Prayer Reminders!
98. This is definitely a "miscellaneous" item, but I was thinking of the enlarged photocopies of photos of you which I have up in the room, how whenever I happen to glance at them, I am immediately reminded to pray for you. If having loved ones' photos around helps remind you to pray for them, then that's good, and I heartily recommend it! It really is a prayer reminder for me. But if having photos around makes you sad, that's not good. If it doesn't bear good fruit, you shouldn't do it. And like we said once before, you can let someone else pray for such loved ones if it's that difficult and you have such great battles over it.
Clarification on My Reminders to Stay Humble!
99. My dearest--please, please know that I think you've manifested a very, very humble spirit in everything you've done. I'm sorry if what I said made you wonder otherwise. To the contrary, I'm amazed at how you have continued to conduct yourself so very humbly. I just want to see you stay this way. And since I know what a temptation it would be for me, I was thinking that I would need to have some good "reminders." I don't mind if you say, "Mama, speak for yourself!" No, really, I know you aren't thinking that, because you do welcome all the help you can get. This is just a little preventative medicine. Sorry that, just like medicine usually is, it's a little bad tasting, but you take it so well. I'm really proud of you!
100. Peter, my dear, wonderful love!--I really do love you and I really am proud of you! I guess it's partly because I want to keep telling you how proud I am of you that I have to tell you to please stay humble! I don't want to become part of the problem!
101. I guess I should have given the same talk to Gary, because I'm sure he needs it just as much, and probably Heather too. Because no matter how humble a person is to begin with, the Enemy can always get in with subtle little things, often using things that can't possibly be avoided, such as folks being overwhelmingly vocally appreciative of your love for them and the help you give them. I know you handle all that quite well, Peter. You not only tell them that it's just Jesus, but you proceed to explain how weak and human you are, so they can understand even better.
102. Even if people don't tell you how great you are, you can be sure the Enemy will whisper it to you. He doesn't mind "encouraging" you when it's that kind of encouragement! Peter, please know that I wouldn't have brought this up again except that you asked for a clarification.-- And you know that's a dangerous thing to ask, because then you get another discourse on it!--Ha! Sorry about that! Thanks for your patience. You are wonderful!
103. I think that's all I have to tell you for right now. Again, thank you so much for writing. Every minute is so valuable in your day during these meetings, that to give me as many minutes as you did is very precious and I am extremely appreciative of it. It's a part of you that you are sharing with me, even though you are gone, and it's very encouraging. I love you so much, my darling, and pray for you--for your strength, for your peace, for your encouragement, for your wisdom, for your love, for your anointing, for your patience, for your discernment, and everything else that you need. You truly are the dearest on Earth to me!
Mixing Business with Pleasure!
104. Dearest Peter, I feel so close to you when you write me like that. We really are connected, aren't we? Jesus has done it, and we are truly one body, one flesh and one heart. Okay, Sweetheart, I guess we'd better mix some business with our pleasure, although business with you is also a pleasure and always has been! Otherwise, how could we have stood those many hours working together day after day? I like it now even more than ever, even when we have to be apart doing it.
105. I'm praying for you and Heather, as you both mentioned that you have had to fight against some twinges of jealousy over those you left behind. Of course it's an attack of the Enemy, but I think the Lord is allowing it so He can give you the victory.--So that you'll be able to encourage the others who have also left mates behind, and be touched with the feeling of their infirmities.
106. Also, the Lord is probably allowing the Summit attendees to have a few battles here and there in order to realize that their mates who stayed behind are probably having even greater battles than they are! Those at the Summit are the ones who are having the excitement and the training, living and working with some pretty desirable young people of the opposite sex. So they need to be praying for their mates and be very sensitive to their feelings when they return home--as well as when they write them from the Summit meeting.
107. As for me--this mate that you've left behind--since I'm already very assured of your love and we already share everything, you don't have to worry that I'm going to be hurt about anything. I'm so assured of your love, not only because I've had so many faithful years of it, but because the Lord has given us so many promises regarding our love for each other. Of course, as we discussed before, it would be very natural if you would start to have feelings for someone or someones. There is certainly nothing wrong with that, and it shouldn't cause a problem since you leave those folks and come home. But even if you brought someone home with you, Peter, I'd take it from the Lord and try to get the victory.--But that might be a bit more difficult!
108. And please don't think I'm saying this because I'm trying to prepare you for any special feelings I might have for Juan while he's here. I probably won't, but I know from experience that if I do, it's not going to hurt our love in the least. And I know that if you are especially attracted to someone or someones there, neither will it hurt our love. After all, the Lord made it so we could love more than one person at a time. We might as well be realistic about things and just know that Jesus will carry us through whatever the experiences are and bring us out into a "large place," with the bright Son of His Love making our hearts happy together.
"Legitimately" Missing You vs. Missing You in the Wrong Way!
109. Even missing someone can be a real murmur, a discontentment, a feeling that the Lord didn't do the right thing by you. You're wanting things to be different instead of being content in the state you're in. I know I'm treading on dangerous ground by talking about this, because we all miss each other, and we don't want to feel that every time we tell someone we miss them that we have to consider we're out of line and out of the Lord's will.
110. But as I mentioned the other day, there is a certain amount of "legitimate" missing that we can do, in realizing that there is a big hole left by the other person and some important things are gone that can't be the same without them and that can't be filled by anyone else. So in a sense, you can't help but miss that person. When you say you miss them, it's a statement of fact that things are different and your heart is only half there and you very much feel the loss.
111. However, when you step over the line and start murmuring about it, feeling sorry for yourself, and pining away for that person, feeling resentful that they can't be with you and that they have to be somewhere else with others, that's when you need to watch out! It's very easy to do, extremely easy, and there is a very fine line between "legitimately" missing you and missing you in the wrong way. But I'm trying to ask the Lord to help me have the right feelings and the right attitude. When I say "I miss you" and "I wish you were here," you of course have to know that while I do wish you were here, I wouldn't for one minute not want you to be where you are, since I know that's where the Lord wants you!
112. So even though I would like to have you here, my greater desire is that you be there and do the great work that the Lord has for you to do. When I say "I miss you," you know it's just an expression of the great love I have for you, and that if it were possible, and if it were the Lord's will, I'd love to always have you with me in the flesh.--Because I really love your flesh! But I love your spirit even more, and like Jesus said to us, we can be together in Spirit with Him wherever we are and whatever we're doing.
113. Oh my, what a discourse about one word! I hope that's clear. Some of these things are touchy subjects, and maybe I shouldn't even try to analyze them or express them. Paul was certainly correct when he said that we "see through a glass darkly." And while the Lord has said He would not let me be led astray, He hasn't said that I would always get everything perfectly clear, with no parts of the puzzle missing. But I'm glad my spiritual eyesight is as good as it is and the "glass" is as clear as it is, praise the Lord! Thank You Jesus!
114. Okay, my love, my darling, I'm really praying for your meeting tonight. I know you feel a heavy weight of responsibility, and it's good that you are desperate. But just know, of course, that the Lord will do it. He always does. You can't, so don't even try! Just pray desperately for Him to do it, and He will! You're in my heart and on my mind, and we can be close in spirit through our wonderful Lover and Husband, and loving Him together all the time! You've given me so much! You've done so much for me!--I'll never be able to tell you what you mean to me! I'm yours--forever!
Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family