Home » Children of God Publications » The Road to Commitment!--Mama's Letter to David

The Family / Children of God

Internal Publications and Secret Directives

DISCLAIMER: The sole purpose of this page is to document the existence of a publication produced by The Family International a.k.a. The Family, Family of Love, Children of God and various pseudonyms (hereon referred to as TFI). It is provided for the record, for educational and research purposes, with the principal aim of promoting accountability by the TFI for its teachings and statements, which have proven detrimental to the lives of many. By replicating this material, exFamily.org neither endorses the views expressed in this publication nor justifies the existence of this publication and its statements. Reader discretion is advised. The material on this page may be unsuitable for minors and may contain disturbing words of racism, hate mongering, directives to unhealthy lifestyles and/or criminal activity, and/or contain plagiarized works.

THE ROAD TO COMMITMENT!--Mama's Letter to David        Maria #341            DO 30647/96


Dear Family,

                1. I love each of you very much and am proud of you for your dedication and service to the Lord, and for faithfully being witnesses of His Love and Word to the lost!

                2. In this GN I would like to share with you a letter that I wrote dear David, my son, regarding some changes needed in his life after he had sadly gotten quite off track and had been a bad sample to the Homes in Eastern Europe that he had been living in for the past eight months. I'm sharing my letter to David with you, as I believe it contains some good lessons that all can benefit from, regarding the importance of staying yielded to the Lord and His will, reading and believing the Word, and resisting the Enemy's doubts and lies--and the sad consequences of neglecting these vital matters. In addition, by publishing David's letter to me and my reply, it might help clarify things that some of you may have wondered about concerning David's sample, that you either witnessed firsthand or heard about "through the grapevine." There's a lot in here for you young people in particular, so when reading it, please don't just think about how it applies to David, but reflect on how it may fit you, too! A lot of what the Lord says in the prophecies to David, you can also apply to yourselves, as each of you is the Lord's special child!

                3. My letter also contains some counsel that you parents may find helpful in your interaction and communication with your children when they may not be doing well spiritually. I've heard from a number of you dear parents whose hearts have been broken when one of your kids has gotten away from the Lord or left His service in the Family, and my heart has always gone out to you. As you'll read in some of the following messages that the Lord has given us, He offers hope that He will continue to be there waiting and reaching out to His children.

                4. Sharing your mistakes with the whole Family is pretty difficult and humbling, and I'm really proud of David for his willingness to allow his lessons to be shared with you all.--Not only so that you can benefit from them, but for David's benefit as well, as part of his getting back on the path of God's will in his heart and life.

                5. Thank you for your prayers for David. He's taken up the challenge to fight, and is on the path to victory, God bless him! That's all the Lord asks of us--to just yield to Him and turn and start going His way, start going up the right path. Then, once our will is on His side and we're determined to fight, He takes over and gives us the strength we need to make it through to victory. Praise the Lord!

                6. I thought it might be helpful to give you a little background on the events leading up to my letter to David. After returning from visiting the Homes in Russia together with Amy (Ana) and Francis last year, David expressed his burden to return to the field on a permanent basis. Although he had visited a number of Homes on different occasions over the years, this would be the first time that he would actually live in a regular field Home.

                7. David did pretty well while in Russia, but after returning home, he became pretty unyielded and did poorly. So while I was happy that he could go and experience life on the field, do more witnessing, etc., I was a little concerned about him going to a field Home in his current state. As we prayed about it, the Lord indicated He had other plans for David that also involved going to the field, but in a different capacity than what David wanted. We presented this choice to David, but he preferred to continue with his original plans of joining the Home of his choice. As we prayed further about it, Dad told us we should let him go, and that David was just going to have to learn some lessons the hard way, on his own. So although David was going with the Lord's second best, I encouraged him to follow the burdens on his heart, and sent him off with my blessing.

                8. Over the next months, David stayed in several Homes in Eastern Europe and Russia. As time went on, we received a number of reports from different people in each of the Homes he had been in, in which they told some disheartening tales of his wrong behavior and attitudes about things. In some ways he was being a blessing, pitching in when asked, etc., but in other ways, he was being a negative influence on the other young people in the Homes, who looked up to him because of his background and training. Among other things, he was openly speaking against some basic principles in the Word, constantly listening to System music, getting drunk, watching lots of unedifying movies, and generally being a bad sample. Not only was this stumbling others and causing them to doubt and waver in their service for the Lord, but as a result of feeding on the Enemy's doubts and lies, David himself was seriously considering leaving his place in the Family.

                9. As these reports came in, I was very burdened for him, and Peter and I prayed for him often, as did the others in our Home. Several weeks ago, while thinking and praying about how to best address with David the problems we'd heard about, I received the following letter from him. I was greatly encouraged by how the Lord was already speaking to his heart and bringing him to the point where he could see how far astray he'd gone. He was desperately reaching out for help to get back on track. In this GN I'm including his letter to me, as well as my response to him. I pray these will be a help to you. God bless and keep you close to Him!

                Love, Mama

Excerpts from David's Letter to Mama:

                10. "Hi, Mom! How are you doing? I hope you're happy and doing all right, and healthy too. I love you so much and pray for you often. I don't know how long it will be before you receive this message as I'm still here in southern Russia with no way to send this to you until we get back to Moscow, which will probably be one or two weeks. Anyway, I thought that I might as well write this now so that it can be sent off to you as soon as we get home.

                11. "I just read your messages and I was so thankful to hear from you! It was so nice, like cold waters to a thirsty soul. The prophecies from the Lord were so encouraging, and so right on for me. To hear that the Lord has so much unconditional love for me really helped me a lot, as I know I've failed Him so many times in the months since I left home.

                12. "I've really been thankful for the time here [in Russia], as I've learned so much. It has been another really difficult time for me though, maybe one of the worst, as it seems the more battles I've had, the weaker I get, and I came here to this Home as sort of my last chance to make it in the Family. So I was really weak spiritually, and as you know, those weaknesses show up so much more the smaller the team you're on.

                13. "I've always wanted to serve the Lord, and that's the thing that's kept me here this long--which is probably the thing that keeps all of us here. But it's been so very hard for me. I know that whatever my spiritual state, it would have been a battle, but because of my weak spiritual condition and not depending on the Lord or obeying and doing the things I know I should have been, it made it so much harder.

                14. "Then on top of that, I've had lots of doubts for a long time now about the New Wine and the direction the Lord is leading the Family, so I've wondered if I could still serve the Lord in the System somehow. I really wanted to do what's right, but it was just so hard for me to believe. Then having such a hard time, and some other things, just seemed to be too much for me.

                15. "Anyway, it was lots of things combined, but I finally hit bottom and I finally decided that I wanted to leave the Family. Well, actually I hadn't really decided, 'cause I'm still here, but I was on the verge of going back to Moscow and either asking you for a loan to get to the States, or contacting a former supporter and asking him for help to get to the States and get involved in some kind of Christian work. I was having doubts and problems accepting the New Wine. I just didn't know what the truth was any more. But I did know one thing, and that was that I really wanted to serve the Lord, and I thought that I might be able to do so just as well in the System, if I found the right place.

                16. "I feel very bad for dumping some of my doubts and feelings on one of the girls here, but some of the things she said really helped me. Also, a lot of the things that Apollos and I talked about before I left really came back to help me too. I'm so thankful for the time I got to spend with him before leaving home, while he was visiting us, and I know I always will be. I knew that going to the System and either finding some other way to serve the Lord in some Christian group, or living selfishly for myself and the System, would mean turning my back on all that Grandpa had taught me, and also all the New Wine that the Lord is giving out now.

                17. "I was having lots of doubts about the New Wine, but I just couldn't shake the feeling that it had to be the Lord speaking and it had to be Him behind it. I would just go back and forth in my mind trying to reason it out in the flesh, and I wasn't coming to any helpful conclusions. I wanted to give up, as I really wasn't prepared for facing all these battles.

                18. "I figured that it would be a lot easier out here on the field for some reason. I was prepared for all the physical hardships, but not the spiritual battles. I guess I was under the impression that you just get out here in a field like Russia and see the need and all the lost souls, and all your personal battles and problems just melt away. Well, in my case, nothing could be further from the truth. What I have finally found out, though somewhat belatedly, is that the more you keep your eyes on Jesus and the more you believe in His Word and spend time with Him, the more your problems and battles melt away.

                19. "Anyway, I finally decided that whatever happened, I wasn't going to have it said about me that I gave up. I just couldn't fail the Lord and you and Grandpa and all the rest of our Family like that, just because I felt I couldn't make it. However, I knew that no matter what kind of commitment I made, it wasn't going to last very long if I still had doubts about the Family and the Word, etc. I think that's why my other commitments and 'fresh starts' didn't work.

                20. "I knew that the Word was my only salvation, and the only way to keep me here and inspired and give me faith and everything. But up until this point, the Word did not profit me because it was not mixed with faith to believe it in the first place. So I asked the Lord to help me believe in the Word with all my heart and give me the faith to believe it. I did already believe a lot of it, but I wanted to believe all of it and not keep these doubts in my heart about some things, which were actually pretty major things.

                21. "I started to see that as much as I hated to admit it to myself, a lot of my doubts were born of pride. I doubted that some of these things were of the Lord because I felt too weak or not ready to live up to them, so in my pride I didn't want to believe them. I started reading the Word with an open mind, really praying beforehand that the Lord would give me faith and show me things and help me by it, and I read the Word with a receptive mind. I reread some of the recent New Wine too, that I had read before but sometimes only skimmed or speed-read for interest and not for spiritual feeding. I found that the Word really came alive to me and I found the doubts gone. It was the first time I had felt that way in a very long time.

                22. "I have a new hunger for the Word now, and I look to it for help and leading and strength and life. I really look forward to the new mailings that come, and I walk away from my Word time feeling refreshed and inspired and wanting more. Before, I only saw the doubts and the things that didn't seem to make sense to me, but now I see the Lord speaking and I truly believe.

                23. "I know I don't have such a glorious testimony to tell, as even now, everything is certainly not hunky-dory for me, and like the Lord said, as far as my commitments and fresh starts go, well, there've been quite a few of them, and for all you know, this might just be one more. But rekindling my desire, faith, and love for the Word has been a real milestone in my life, because no matter what happens, I know the Word is true. It's alive in my heart now, and I really believe in the New Wine. I believe that the things you've been giving to the Family have been right and from the Lord, and I know you're in His will and giving exactly what He wants you to.

                24. "I just read the 'Be Encouraged' GN twice and it's really special to me (see GN 677). Thank you so much, Mom, for being willing to go through these things so that the Lord can use it to get such wonderful encouragement and direction for all of us. It was just what I needed. Thank you so much for all the Word that you're giving out. I can't thank you enough for it, and I know that it's my only salvation and the reason I'm still here.

                25. "I really need help now, Mom, as I'm wondering what I should do, as I'm not really sure if it's the Lord's will for me to stay here. I've come to the end of my rope and I want to do what the Lord wants me to do, and not just try to be independent and do my own thing.

                26. "I know you said [when I first left] that I should have prayer about where I should go in Russia and which Home to go to, but I was too independent and wanted to do my own thing and go my own way, so I didn't listen. I'm so sorry now, though, and I really need your help. I wanted to ask if you wouldn't mind asking somebody to hear from the Lord for me to see where He wants me to go.

                27. "Thank you so much, Mom, for still loving me and not giving up on me even though I've been so bad and made so many mistakes. Thank you so much for the recent prophecies that you sent me with your last message. They were so right on and exactly the way I was feeling, and it was so comforting to hear that the Lord still loved me and had hope for me. I love you so much, Mom. Thank you for everything you've done for me. Much love, David."

Mama's Letter to David:

Dear David,                           16/7/96

                28. Hi, sweet boy! I really love you, and was so happy to hear from you after such a long time. Thanks for explaining why your communications took so long. Everything on a mission field like Russia is a major operation, isn't it? I'll bet you learn a lot of patience and perseverance there. Like Grandpa says, a sense of humor is also indispensable on the mission field when you're tempted to get tense and irritable, and nothing is moving or working.

                29. Thank you for being so honest in your letter, Honey. Thanks for telling us both your battles and your victories. Things really have been rough, haven't they? I'm so sorry, Honey. Like you said, things on a mission field like that are difficult at the best of times, but when you're weakened spiritually, the intensity of the fight is magnified many times over!

                30. Honey, I'm really proud of you for deciding to stick it out no matter what, and not give in to the Devil's continual pleas for you to quit. You've had a lot of problems and gone through a lot, but like Grandpa has taught us, "It's von ting yus to shtick!" That deserves real commendation. Even though you're all bloody and bruised and battered and you may not think you have much to show for the fight, just the fact that you're still managing to get up and fight a little more, and that you're still in the ring, is a big victory as far as the Lord's concerned. Thank the Lord that you haven't had the funds to go to the States, where the physical aspects of life are a lot easier, or you might not have gotten back to the field that the Lord has called you to.

                31. Of course, there are some of our folks in the States who are called to be there and who are doing their best to really witness and reach the lost sheep there, God bless them. But on the other hand, so many folks who were either on their way to the mission field or were planning to return have gotten sidetracked and not only never made it back to the mission field, but didn't even manage to continue to serve the Lord. They got lured by the sirens of the U.S. system, and then got raped by the materialism of the Great Whore. Some of them may have thought that they would serve the Lord elsewhere outside the Family, but out of all the young people who have left the Family planning to still serve the Lord in the System, I don't know of any who have carried out their plan.

                32. Even if someone should go back and actually start working with some System religious group, the blandness of it, the half-heartedness, their lack of willingness to receive the meat of the Word, the lack of challenge and excitement in constantly getting the fresh Word from Heaven and being able to act upon it and knowing that you're going places in the Spirit, is just so disappointing and frustrating for our former Family young people, that even though it seems easier, they usually fizzle out really fast.

                33. In the Lord's Love, sometimes He doesn't allow us to do things we think would be good for us, because He knows the dangers. So what may have seemed like a lack of the Lord's supply in providing you or some of the other young people with the funds to go to the States may actually have been the Lord's wonderful provision in keeping you not only on your mission field, but even in His service.

                34. Honey, I want to tell you that we're thrilled with the commitment you have expressed in your latest letter, to serve the Lord no matter what. It's such a wonderful answer to prayer that you're desperately seeking to get back on track. This is a marvelous step of progress! Just admitting that you know you need the Lord and you can't make it on your own and you have to have His help, you can't figure things out in your own mind, but you need Him to do a miracle in your life and take away your doubts and give you a hunger for the Word, is such a tremendous testimony! That's the answer! That's the only thing that's going to help you to have the conviction and the stability and the backbone and the stick-to-itiveness and the discernment to make it for the Lord. See, the Lord showed you that, and you acted on it, and cried out for Him to get rid of those doubts and give you the faith in His Word that you needed, and the love and hunger for it, and He did it!

                35. I was also very encouraged that the beautiful message about the Lord's Love that we sent you, which you referred to in your letter, was so encouraging for you, Honey. It certainly was for me. It gave me so much hope for you.

(Following are excerpts of the prophecy Mama refers to in paragraph 35:)

A Waterfall of Endless Love!

                36. (Prophecy, Jesus speaking:) My Love is endless, it changes not. It is constant, flowing, warm! My Love envelops this dear one, and nothing can stop it or divert it or hold it back, for I give My Love freely and abundantly! I give My Love without measure for this one, My precious son.

                37. My Love is not poured forth according to his goodness, nor according to his worth, nor according to whether he follows closely or afar off. My Love is not dependent upon his gifts or his obedience or his yieldedness, but My Love is given freely. It is a free gift. It can only be received. It cannot be earned by good works, nor is it withdrawn because of lack of good works. I give My Love without end, without measure! I pour forth My Love so abundantly that it is as a great waterfall that gushes forth with such power and abundance that none can stop it!

                38. My dear son is greatly disappointed in himself, and the weight of his sins and shortcomings and unyieldedness weighs heavily upon him. Discouragement has gripped his heart and mind, and negativity has overcome him to the point that he feels he might be swallowed up. He feels that he has no strength, no power, no anointing. He feels that he has disappointed many, that he has led many astray, that he has not been the sample that he should have been. He is torn between his desire to do good and his desire for independence, for free thinking, for going his own way.

                39. He has made many resolutions. He has determined to change many times and committed himself to start again, to turn over a new leaf, to do better; yet he has failed time and time again, and these failures loom before him as an ominous mountain that seems insurmountable! The failures, the disappointments, the disillusionment, the lack of faith that he can change, that he can start anew, are almost more than this one can bear; and these things cause him to feel unworthy of My Love, unworthy of anyone's love.

                40. He looks at others who are progressing, moving forward, changing, learning lessons, leaving the old behind and taking hold of the new, and he feels envious. He is jealous that it seems so easy for them, and yet it is so difficult for him. But it is his pride that holds him back from new beginnings, because to change he has to admit that he has been wrong. Admission of failure is difficult for this, My son. Humbling himself in front of his peers is like death. But the time will come when he will do so. That time is at hand, and is even now.

                41. So fear not for this one, for I have him in My hand. I have him in My embrace, and I will never let him go. I love him in spite of these weaknesses and transgressions. He is disgusted with himself because of his many mistakes, shortcomings, failures and weaknesses. He is discouraged almost beyond hope because he tries to change, he tries to see, he wants to follow, he desires to be a new creature, and yet within himself, he finds not the power. Time and time again he sees himself sinking back into his old ways, his longtime NWOs, and he feels that surely by now I must be fed up with him and ready to cast him aside. He feels unworthy of My promises and of My Love.

                42. But I say unto this one, My dear son: Fear not, My beloved, for I love you with a love that is endless. My Love is eternal. Nothing that you can do or say will change My Love or cause me to withdraw or withhold My Love. When you fall and make mistakes and do the wrong thing and disappoint yourself and others, when you are not the sample you should be and you follow afar off, when you mock My Word through disbelief, when you do not walk in the fear of Me or have the love that you should have, when you think negatively and get discouraged or entertain jealous or critical thoughts, these things do not cause Me to love you less.

                43. You have gone through times when you are weak and times when you are strong. Sometimes you are up, sometimes you are down. Sometimes you are successful, sometimes you fail. But through all these times, I love you the same. Your failures and problems and weaknesses do not affect My Love for you. They do not lessen My Love for you. They cause Me to pray for you and weep for you, but I continue loving you just the same.

                44. You can never be too bad for Me. Nothing you do or say or think could ever be so bad that it would cause Me to love you less. I do not put conditions on My Love, saying you must be this way or you must be that way. I give My Love to you unconditionally, and I promise you that no matter what, come what may, you will have My Love in great abundance! (End of prophecy.)

Come Home to Me!--Connect with the Word!

                45. (Mama:) Do you want to hear an excerpt from a neat message that the Lord gave for one of our teen girls months ago, about the importance of connecting with the Word? This was when she was going through so many battles and we were praying about what to do. The Lord said:

                46. (Prophecy:) "Come home, come home, you who are weary, come home." Come home to Me. My dear one, you struggle, you strive, you seek peace of heart and of mind, but there is no peace except in Me--in My Words and in My arms. The love you seek can only be found in Me.

                47. I know, My darling, My dear one, of the battles, of the torment of spirit that you feel, the wonderings of your heart, thinking, "Why is this happening? Why is that happening? What has happened? How could it be that all the things that I want to go so right seem to go so wrong?"

                48. I say to you, the answers are within Me. When life does not go the way that you expect or the way that you want or the way that you had foreseen, then look to Me. For I am an anchor that keeps you stable in the rough waters of this life, and if you are not anchored in Me, you drift, tossed to and fro.

                49. You are no longer a child, but you are of age, responsible to Me! So look to My hand and I will pour on you the peace, the contentment and the love that you need and that you desire.

                50. Now you begin to understand that My way up is down! For these things which you experience humble you. But if you will use them to draw closer to Me, if you will let them humble you and break you and cause you to cry out to Me for My help, if you will turn to Me in your time of trouble and in your time of need, if you will seek the answers in My Word and seek to be strengthened in Me, so shall you see all the good that will come from all this bad that you think you have caused.

                51. But this is just part of the process, the process of making you into the person that I am choosing you to be. For you see these things as failures, but I see them as stepping stones that bring you closer to Me. But let them break you, let them cause you to come to Me, lest they be in vain. Learn from these things, but above all, learn to come unto Me and to find the rest and the peace and the answers within My Word. For you must connect with Me or you will not have the strength you need. For the strength to stand, the strength to have conviction, the strength to undergo hardship comes from Me, through My Words.

                52. There's no other way! There's no person, there's no place, there's nothing that can replace My Word in your life. Through My Word you will find Me in a new and even greater way. So in your times of testing and your times of turmoil, in your times of questioning, seek Me in My Word. Ask your shepherds what to read; they will direct you to the Words that will help you. Don't be too afraid and don't be too proud to ask. Then let My Word dwell in you richly. Let it fill you, let it answer your questions. Let it allay your doubts, let it soothe your fears.

                53. Please let all of your experiences, all of the frustrations, all of the fears, all of the failures, be washed clean in the reservoir of My cleansing, strengthening, refreshing Word. Come unto Me, you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. I will give you peace. I will give you understanding through My Word. Those Words that you are familiar with will begin to speak to you afresh, for they will be new Words. They will be the voice of your father speaking to you, leading you, guiding you and strengthening you.

                54. Do not neglect them, for they are the food of your soul. It is there in the reservoir of My Word that you will find the answers you seek, the cleansing, the refreshing that you desire, the love that you search for, and the strength of spirit and of character that you desire. For the reservoir of God, God's Word, My Word, is the reservoir of peace, of contentment, of refreshing, of wisdom, and of love, and it is all there for you.

                55. Come on in, the water's fine!

                Fill your soul with the Words divine.

                Find peace of body and heart and mind,

                For I am yours and you are Mine.

                (End of prophecy.)

                56. (Mama:) Isn't this wonderful, David? I guess it's what you're finding through your renewed interest in the Word too, isn't it? Even though you had grown so familiar with the Word that you weren't getting much at all from it, when you came to the Lord with a receptive attitude, determined to do all you could to connect with Him, He did it, just like He says in this prophecy. He says that He'll help you to get rid of the familiarity and He'll make the Words new and alive and you'll see them in a new way. Just like you said in your letter, you're finding that Jesus really is the answer.

                57. It's interesting, isn't it, that while we were asking what this dear girl should do, the Lord told her to come home to His arms. He said that she wouldn't be happy just changing locations. In fact, no person or place or thing would be able to give her the happiness and peace and contentment and freedom from worry and fear. He was the only One Who would be able to do that. There's no peace except in Jesus and His Word.

Commitment to the Word Is What Counts!

                58. Honey, I know you're going to make real progress, and as you commit yourself to the Lord and desperately reach out for His help in the form of His Word, He's going to give you, too, the happiness that you're looking for. You've made such a wonderful step in acknowledging your need and humbling yourself and crying out to the Lord and telling Him that you're desperate. And you've gone even further and humbled yourself by apologizing to us and being honest about your mistakes.

                59. Even though you have failed Him so many times in recent months, the Lord has used that to show you how much you need Him. And, yes, as you say, it was because of your weak spiritual condition--because you didn't depend on the Lord or obey or do the things that you should have.

                60. Good for you, Honey, for your honesty in acknowledging that one of the big reasons why you had doubts about the Word was because in your pride you just didn't want to receive it, because you felt too weak, or not ready to live up to it. But it's so wonderful, David, that in your doubts and confusion you went desperately to the Lord and started going to the Word and really praying beforehand that the Lord would give you faith and show you things, and then you read it with an open mind. And when you went back and reread some of the Word that you had only skimmed before, to your amazement you found the doubts were gone. Of course, this was just a work of the Lord's Spirit! When you cry out to Him with your whole heart, He never fails and He'll always answer you.

                61. Honey, this is such a marvelous testimony! You don't know how happy this makes us! This is a big turning point in your life and is going to set you on the right track, if you'll just continue to hold on to the Word with resoluteness, determination, stick-to-itiveness, perseverance and tenaciousness. Your commitment to the Word is what really counts. All your other fresh starts, since they weren't connected to the Word, just fizzled out, because nothing except the Word is strong enough to get you back on track and keep you going in the right direction.

                62. You've made such a good start, Honey! You've got to hold on now, no matter how hard it seems, no matter how much the Devil tries to dissuade you by putting all kinds of obstacles in your way. Nothing is more important than your sticking with the Lord and His Word and His way. Your road back isn't going to be as easy as it would have been if you had stayed on track. But it will be worth every step of it. Of course, it's going to kill your pride, and I'm sure that process has already started. I'm sure just writing this letter to us was difficult. But you made it, and it has borne such good fruit. The Lord has blessed you for it, and He's encouraged us by it, and He's real proud of you for it.

                63. You've been real honest with us in this letter, Honey, and I'm going to be real honest with you and shoot straight with you. I'm going to tell you now that this isn't going to be very easy, but the Lord is going to help you, and the more times you yield and humble yourself, the easier it will get.

                64. The Lord and Dad gave us some wonderful instruction and encouragement for you, and you'll see that Dad says that the Enemy is going to really fight you and do everything to try to stop you from humbling yourself, and it's going to be very hard initially, but if you'll just cry out to the Lord with all your heart for His help and His strength, you can make it and you can do it.

                65. Don't let anything keep you from getting back to the Lord's will. It's just not worth it. Humbling your pride is a killer, but not nearly as much of a killer as continuing to go on in your pride, walking further and further away down the path that leads to destruction in every way--destruction of your happiness, your service to the Lord, your peace, your stability, everything.

                66. You're not the only one who has had to humble himself. There have been many, many others in the Family and countless others of the Lord's children who have had to admit they were wrong, apologize and humble themselves in order to get back in the Lord's will and continue their fruitfulness for the Lord. We always greatly admire the people who are humble enough to admit that they have been wrong and ask for forgiveness. Look at Maggie (Keda) and Gideon (Zack Attack), Hosea, Josiah, Bithia, and many others in the Family who we remember mainly for their good sample of humility, not necessarily by what they did wrong. We admire them; we don't look down on them.

Prophecies About David's Life and Future--Given Before He Left Home

                67. David, I thought you'd be interested in hearing part of a message of counsel that Dad gave us about your situation even before you left. He said:

                68. (Prophecy, Dad speaking:) This is a pretty serious situation. This is our son, and he's going out. He's young, he's inexperienced, but that's not the problem. The problem is that the Enemy fights for keeps, and the Enemy really is at his throat, trying to use anything he can to defeat him!

                69. The choices he makes have gotta be his own choices, and they're going to be his own choices. He's a strong-willed boy and he's got a lot of pride, but he can become a humble man. If he hears the truth from enough of you, knowing you're telling him these things in love, they'll ring in his ears, they'll work in his heart and these words will fight against the lies of the Enemy. He may have to go through the hard knocks of experience, and when he's down on the ground he'll remember. That's where your unconditional love comes in. That's why even now, tell him the truth and speak the truth in love, and don't compromise. But also remind him that you'll love him, and when he learns these things, he'll know that there is a way back for him, a way up.

                70. He's gotta get things straight between him and the Lord. You all just have to keep praying for him. This is a real step of faith to just trust the Lord for him, but it really is what all our parents have to go through. They have to trust the Lord that their kids will stay in the Family, that they'll stay true to Jesus.

                71. The only thing that you all have to be really aware of is how the Enemy fights him so hard! And he's gotta be aware of that too. But this time of lesson learning for him will be a time of remaking, of breaking, and of molding him. God only uses broken men and women, and he has to be broken. Pray for these breakings. Pray for these remakings. He's gonna need a lot of your trust in him and a lot of love, and a lot of your prayers. He's gonna strike out on his own, and he's gonna have a pretty tough time, but he's going to learn what it's all about.

                72. As for now, while he's still here, take the time to just talk to him. It's gotta be a united effort, as then he won't feel like just one person is dealing with him or singling him out. But give him the input, each one speaking from their heart. Maybe even Apollos [who was visiting our Home at the time] can talk to him as a friend, about how important it is that he have the Word in his heart and that he live the Word, and that he doesn't neglect it. He respects Apollos a lot, so it would be good if Apollos could even spend a little time with him, to just keep pointing him to the Word. He knows how important it is, and when people talk to him, it convicts his heart and it works in his heart. Even if he doesn't show the fruits right away, these words will stay in his heart, and eventually they will bring about change. And usually he makes the right choices in the end.

                73. Just keep loving him, even when he is unlovable. Just keep making a united effort, everybody contributing a little, everybody sharing their hearts. God bless Peter for taking the time for him. He respects all you men. He respects you a lot because he sees what you're doing. He admires your love for the Lord and your dedication and your love for others and your shepherd's hearts. Deep down he wishes he could be that way, but he just doesn't want the responsibility and to have to make the sacrifices involved. But he respects what you share with him, so keep talking to him and keep loving him.

                74. These words might not look like they are bearing a lot of fruit now, but they will. They'll be seeds that are planted. And the Lord is going to do things in his life to water those seeds, so that down the line they're going to spring forth and bear good fruit. (End of prophecy.)

                75. (Mama:) In the same prayer session, Jesus also spoke to us about you, and said:

                76. (Prophecy, Jesus speaking:) He is My child. He is My Own, and you must commit him to Me. You must have faith. You must trust. I have put within him a strong spirit, and now he is not yielding. He is as a horse or the mule that hath no understanding, and must be controlled with bit and bridle. Some have to learn through the school of hard knocks, and this one has learned in the past through the school of hard knocks, and once again it is necessary. But he will come back a broken man, more humble. For the spirit of pride overwhelms him, and he must allow this pride to be broken. And though it may take heartache, and though it may take pain, it is necessary for him, in order for him to see that he cannot do things in his own strength, but that he must learn to trust in Me.

                77. He has been sheltered, he has been protected, and it is necessary that he get out, away from the protected, sheltered environment, so he can learn the deep spiritual lessons that I have for him, that will make him an even more useful tool, a more yielded vessel for My work.

                78. He will remember what you share with him. And although it seems to fall on unreceptive ears now, he remembers and he ponders and he thinks about these things. For because of this strong spirit of pride, he arrives at his own wrong conclusions. So you must help him to see My solutions and My conclusions. And although he does not agree, and although he does not always accept, he will remember later. Then your stories will come alive and then your words will flourish. Then the truth that you will have planted will be allowed to grow, once his own will and spirit have been broken.

                79. Your prayers can do mighty things, and you must pray for his protection, pray for his passage [through these trials]. For because he does not have his foundation firmly embedded, planted on the Rock, he is easily tossed to and fro by every wind of doctrine, by people's words, by people's opinions. But there will come a time when he shall see that people fail and that their opinions were wrong, and then he will cling to Me and desire My Word, the pure Truth.

                80. But you never appreciate the light until you've been in darkness. You don't fully appreciate the pure, true Words of My Spirit until you've been singed by the Devil's lies. He is one of My men of faults, who really has a sincere desire to love people, to love My sheep, to love My Family. But he must learn that it is through brokenness and humility and weakness that miracles are accomplished and that My mighty works are done--not through the arm of the flesh, not through the thoughts and wisdom of men. His mind wars against his heart, but I will care for him and I will work in his life, and My will and purpose will be accomplished.

                81. For I need Heaven's boys and Heaven's girls in these Last Days--men and women with strong wills and spirits to stand up against the lies of the Enemy, against the worldliness of this System and this world. So I have imparted unto many of My YAs and teens strong spirits. And they must learn to yield their spirits unto Me and to fight against the Enemy, fight against their real foes who try to sidetrack them, distract them and tempt them. They must be aware of these temptations of the Enemy, these distractions which keep them from accomplishing My will and My purpose and the reason that I have given them a special anointing.

                82. My purpose will be accomplished and My will will be fulfilled. You must simply trust in Me and have faith in Me for the outcome. Worry not, fear not, fret not! Give in love, admonish in love, instruct in love, for love never fails! For although you want to force him to do My will, knowing that it's for his own good, I want a willing heart, a cheerful and giving heart.

                83. He will decide to do the right thing after he has learned that his own ways and his own will will come to naught. Then he will be a more useful vessel, more open to counsel, more able and willing to work with others, which is a necessary foundation stone in the accomplishments of My Family--the unity of hearts and minds and bodies and spirits.

                84. He looks at circumstances. He looks at people trying to control him or confine him. But it is not the circumstances nor the people. It is I Who want to have full control, and he rebels against that. He will learn, but it is necessary that he eat a few husks. But pray for him, for the Enemy fights hard to destroy his usefulness and his credibility.

                85. Because he lacks hunger for My Word and My Truth, he is open to other voices and spirits which are not of Me. So pour into Him, feed him, strengthen his faith. Sow the seed, and I will work in his heart, I will work in his life. It is time for him to go and to learn and to grow and to move on, for this is part of My plan. He is in My hands and I will care for him. Simply trust in Me. (End of prophecy.)

                86. (Mama:) Isn't this message amazing, David? I guess you can now look back and see that so many things that the Lord talks about in these prophecies above have been fulfilled, and that He gave us a pretty clear picture of your life and what was going to happen with you, and more. The following message from Dad came at the same time, and I think we gave this to you before you left, but I'm going to repeat it here, in case you don't have it any more and you would like to hear it again.

                87. (Prophecy, Dad speaking:) Son, I love you so much! You've always known that. You've always known I loved you. Maybe you sometimes thought that I didn't understand you, but I understand you better than ever now. We're a lot alike, you know. I understand your desire for freedom, your desire to burn free. I understand the deep things in your heart--things that you feel you can't even tell people. I understand what's deep inside there, the things you long for, and the beauty in which you want to live. But the satisfaction of your heart is only going to come from living in the Lord's Spirit, because that's where the beauty is!

                88. I understand, Son, and I know what you want to do. I'm really happy you're going to the field. I'm happy you want to serve Jesus! I'm so proud of you for wanting to do this, for wanting to be a missionary. That was a choice you had to make, and I'm so proud of you for making that choice to be a missionary and to tell people about Jesus. It's a beautiful calling, and the more you give yourself to Jesus, the more He'll use you.

                89. It's quite a road you've chosen, and there are gonna be obstacles. I am reminded of what Jesus said to Peter, "Simon, Simon, Satan hath desired to have you that he might sift you as wheat, but I have prayed for you, that your faith fail not." And I'm afraid that you're gonna get some siftings, Son, but everyone is gonna pray for you, that your faith fails not, and that through the siftings you'll grow stronger.

                90. Just remember, Son, Mama really loves you. You know Mama loves you, don't you? Always remember that. And Peter loves you. You know that, don't you? He really loves you! He's lived with you almost all your life. He's watched you grow up, and he loves you very much. Look around the Home and think about each one, and ask yourself that question, "Do they really love me?" And I think when you think about it, you're going to see and realize how very, very, very much they love you.

                91. That's something you always gotta remember when you get out there, especially if you make mistakes, especially if you stumble and fall--that nobody back home is going to judge you, because they love you. They have been the Lord's Love for you. But maybe in your familiarity, Son, you have forgotten that. Maybe you've started to see them differently. But everybody at home really loves you, and you've gotta remember that, because it's love that will keep you.

                92. So, Son, you're gonna have the testings. But boy, I had my share of testings on Earth and they only served to make me stronger. They only served to make me the man that God wanted me to be. And that's what your testings will do for you--they will make you the man God wants you to be.

                93. Look around again. Look at Peter, look at Gary, look at Gabe, look at Apollos, look at the folks in your Home right now. What do you think made them what they are today? There have been a lot of breakings along the way, a lot of testings, a lot of lessons, a lot of molding that's gone into those lives. And each testing has brought forth sweetness. It hasn't been easy for them, but it's brought them so much closer to the Lord and made them so much more useful and so much more understanding of other people. It's given them compassion, wisdom, and experience, and these are some of the things that you'll be learning, Son.

                94. I'll be there helping you. You know I will. You're so dear to my heart. It's almost like my own life before my eyes--although, of course, your circumstances are somewhat different. I can almost see where you are going to step next. If you need any help, just ask. I do love you a lot, Son. I love you very dearly, and if I could say anything to you, it is that I love you!

                95. When you were living away from home the first time and got off the track, and I took you back in, you said that it taught you a big lesson on unconditional love, and that you always wanted to show that to other people. Well, you're gonna have a chance for that, Son. You're gonna have a chance to be loving, and it's gonna be a test for you at times. But remember that your home folks are praying for you. They love you unconditionally and they're praying that you'll be loving too. Because that's the greatest thing--learning to love others and work with them in love. That's what the Charter is all about. It's not about rules and laws and rights, it's about love! It's about the Lord's Love for folks, and their love for one another.

                96. So, Son, you are gonna learn a lot about love. The Lord is gonna really have your heart in His hands, and you're gonna learn to trust Him. I love you, Son! God bless you as you go out. Go out in love, and always remember how much your home folks love you! God bless you, Son. I love you! (End of prophecy.)

                97. (Mama:) Isn't that amazing, David? The things the Lord said about you and the lessons He said you were going to have to learn are pretty much the things that you have just pointed out in your letter that the Lord has been showing and teaching you. That ought to increase your faith in prophecy, to see it being fulfilled in your own experience.

Travel the Road of Commitment in the Vehicle of the Word!

                98. Honey, you did the right thing in your letter, in asking us to pray for you and asking what your next step should be. At the same time, we also asked the Lord if there was anything else He wanted to tell you, any instruction for you. Following are the answers that He gave us.

                99. Now remember, David, the Lord never gives us more than we can bear. Keep in mind that your service to the Lord is worth much more than a little humbling of your pride. Your happiness, your peace, all the blessings that the Lord is going to give you, all the rewards that He will pour out upon you for your obedience, are far, far more valuable than holding on to your pride just because you don't want to have people know the bad things you've done. Remember those who you have always admired, those who have repented and apologized, and how much their testimony has meant to you.

                100. This is the way others will look at you! They'll admire you much more for doing the humble thing than for doing the proud thing. Not only will they admire you, but you will be able to help the Lord bring about a wonderful victory from a seeming great defeat. You'll be able to help straighten out the confusion of others who have been stumbled by some of the things you have done. You'll be able to remedy a lot of the wrongs and start over with a fresh slate. There are many, many wonderful things that will come out of your being willing to yield and humble yourself in front of others.

                101. You've made the first step already! You've started on the road to commitment, as the Lord has shown you! In the following message, He's giving you your road map of instructions, so you'll know how to proceed further as you travel the road back to His will.

                102. (Prophecy, Jesus speaking:) This one stands in the valley of decision. He has come to a crossroads, a choice. This is not the first choice that I have put before him, for I have given him opportunity before to choose his will or Mine, his way or Mine. And in his youth, in his pride, in his arrogance, he chose what he wanted, what he felt was best. He could not be dissuaded. Though I spoke to him clearly and showed him that which was My will, he felt that that was the path of difficulty, and that his choice--that which he felt was so right in his own mind--was the path which would be easier for him.

                103. But one decision leads to others. One choosing of your own way leads to further choosing of your own way.

                104. My son, I say to you that where you are is the fulfillment of your choices, of your decisions. But I bring you again to a crossroads: One path leads to the right--a path which will take you back to the road of My choice, the road of My will--the other, the path of the continuance of your own will.

                105. The path that leads to My will will not be as easy as the path of My will would have been to begin with. Yet you can walk on it, knowing that you are in My will and that you are heading the direction that I would have you to go. But the choice is yours. Having already made choices according to your will and seeing where it has brought you, I ask you now to choose My will and to take all that you have been through as a lesson learned by one who chooses his own way, his own will; as one who stubbornly fights against Me.

                106. It is in My Love that I bring you to this crossroads, and that I show you that there is a road back to Me. The name of this road is commitment. The vehicle in which you must travel on this road of commitment is the vehicle of My Word. I have shown you this already by My Spirit, for as I brought you to this road, I made it clear to you what the vehicle is and what you must travel in. I have shown you this so that you will know and you will make a choice, knowing clearly where you have gone astray, which road to take, and which vehicle to go in.

                107. My son, I love you with an unconditional love. This is never taken away, for you are My child--just as all of those who have received Me are My children, yea, even those who have turned their back on Me. For have I not said that I am married to the backslider? So do I love you, and this love will never fade.

                108. But this does not mean that I love all that you do or all that you have done, for you have traveled on a road of your own choosing, confident in your own mind. I have allowed you to see what manner of man you are--not as a punishment, but as a revelation to you.

                109. Like Peter of old, you have been a rolling stone, a pebble tossed about. The only way for the pebble to become a large, strong foundation stone is for it to become full of the True Stone--Me and My Word and My Spirit. For all the things that you wish to be can only be found in Me, for there is no success but in Me.

                110. I know your heart, My son. I know your desire--your desire to serve Me, your desire to be used of Me. But in order to fulfill this desire, you must give up other desires. You must give up your own desires. You must give up your own self, lay it down, and pick up the cross that I have for you, and carry it upon the road of commitment in the vehicle of My Word.

                111. For as the prodigal son whom the father loved so dearly left the father's house and spent his fortune in wasteful and riotous living, only to end up in the swine pits, so are you. But then he made the right choice. He came back to the father's house. So do I call you back to Me, back to My Word, back to the house of My Spirit.

                112. Behold what manner of man you have become. But I say to you, I see ahead on the road of commitment the manner of man that you can be. For there are many who have walked one path, the path of destruction, but when faced with the crossroads of decision, turned completely away and walked upon the new path and became new men. And this, My dear one, is the point to which I have brought you now.

                113. I plead with you to walk this path and to become the man of My making, the man of My choice--no longer he who wishes only to follow his own will, but he who wishes to follow Me, My Words, and My chosen leadership.

                114. For I have heard the prayers of your mother, and I have heard the petitions of your father. I have brought you across this path and I am giving you the opportunity now to walk upon it, and to once again return to the house of My will.

                115. I beckon you to come! I beckon you to leave behind your own will, your own way and the path which you have been on. In entering into the vehicle of My Word and moving upon the road of commitment, you will leave behind the sin, the doubt, and the destruction. For only on this path and in this vehicle can you be cleansed and washed and made anew.

                116. So come! Make the decision. Walk on the path. Enter the vehicle. Remain in it, for it not only moves you along the path, but it protects you from the influences that would cause you to deviate.

                117. My son, you have drunk of many, many cups, many cups of the world. You have drunk of cups that you thought would quench your thirst. These cups contain not the pure waters of My Word, but rather the perversions of the System and of Satan. The drinking of these cups has watered down the Word that I have poured into you over the years. The drinking of these cups has weakened you.

                118. The only way to be cleansed is to be washed thoroughly clean within and without through My Word and through prayer. So come unto Me. Come unto Me that I may wash you, that I may clean you. For great is My Love for you. Great is My mercy. Take hold of your deliverance--Me and My Words--and turn, revolute, repent and change. Step off of the road upon which you have been traveling and turn to the right, to the right path, to the right way, that you may once again walk with Me and commune with Me as in the days of your youth, as in the days when you walked with your father.

You Can Become the Man God Wants You To Be!

                119. (Prophecy, Dad speaking:) Son, this is Grandpa. This is a very sobering message from the Lord. He is giving you a chance to undo what you have done, a chance to get back into His will. Son, I know He forgives you for your sins and for all that you've done since you've left home. We've seen it all.

                120. He forgives you because He loves you. He forgives you because that is what salvation is, the forgiveness of sins. Anyone who receives Him gets that--salvation. But, Son, like I've always said, salvation is a lot different than rewards. Salvation doesn't guarantee happiness. It's a gift that's received, the gift of salvation. But for people to have happiness in their lives and fulfillment, it takes more. It takes the fight of faith. It takes the walk of faith. It takes obedience and yieldedness. It takes love and humility.

                121. Son, I'm afraid you haven't been manifesting much of any of these, and it shows. It shows in your lack of happiness, lack of contentment, and lack of fulfillment. But the Lord in His Love, in answer to Mama's prayers and my petitions, is giving you an opportunity now.

                122. Son, there can be great things ahead for you, but you only arrive at them through the right choices. I'm asking you to take the path that He has put before you now. Make the right choices! Have some backbone!

                123. You're a man, Son, you're no longer a child! Your actions are yours alone. It's between you and the Lord. You may try to convince yourself and even others that it's because of your upbringing, that it's because you've been behind the scenes and you've got the "preacher's kid" syndrome. You can make up all kinds of excuses, but the truth is, it all comes down to you, your choices, who you are, what you choose, what you want, and how much you're willing to fight. It all comes down to your faith, to how much you listen to the Lord or how much you listen to the Enemy, to how much you yield to the Lord or how much you yield to the Enemy or to your own desires or wants. You are who you make yourself. You are the sum of your decisions.

                124. I was a pretty weak character when I was young. I was shy. I knew the truth but I didn't really act on it so strongly until I was just a little younger than you, when I was filled with the Spirit and I made a commitment that changed my life. Like you, I grew up all my life knowing the Lord. There came a time when I had to go for it. I made the right choice and God used me.

                125. Son, you've made some pretty bad choices. And as much as I know you didn't want to, you've hurt a lot of people. You've hurt their faith. You've hurt their faith in me. You've hurt their faith in Mama. You've hurt their faith in the Family. You've hurt their faith in the Word. You excused yourself, thinking, "Well, I'm just new here on the field. This is my chance to break out and to be myself." But in the process you've hurt others.

                126. Son, I hate to say it, but your sample has really caused some damage. I know you didn't want to bear the burden of having to uphold the standard, but regardless of your wants, you have a responsibility. Others are hurting. They don't understand. They don't understand how someone who grew up with me, who had all that I poured into him, all that Mama poured into him and our love and our care, how someone like that could act the way you've acted, and say the things you've said, and do the things you've done. It confuses them.

                127. If you continue on the way you have been, you will confuse them more and hurt them more. The path that you are on will take you further and further down, and further and further away, until you cross the line, and it will cause them to wonder even more.

                128. But, Son, you can turn this defeat into a victory by having a change, by repenting, by having a metanoia, by moving in a completely different direction. Then, and only then, can this be turned into a victory through your testimony.--The testimony of one who has gone down the wrong road and has turned on to the right one. The testimony of one who can say, "I've been there, and I know that that is not the way to go."

                129. But, Son, that comes at a price--the price of humility, the price of asking forgiveness. How does it start? It starts with humbling yourself before those you're with. By confessing your faults one to another. By asking them to forgive you, those right there with you that you've hurt, that you've disillusioned, that you've treated poorly. Start there. Start today by asking them to forgive you, by showing them that you're sorry, telling them from your heart that you didn't mean to do so, that you want to change and that you need their help.

                130. Son, then you also need to write. Write a letter, an open letter to all, asking their forgiveness and confessing that it was you and your choices and your actions that were wrong. Apologize and ask them to forgive you.

                131. You're not the first one who has had to do this. Those who have done it and who have repented and changed and have had a metanoia in their lives have gone on in service and have been useful to the Lord and to the Family. But those who, in pride, refused to do so, ended up eventually leaving.

                132. What's it gonna be, Son? What is your choice going to be? Can you choose the humble way, humility? It kills one's pride, and it will kill yours, but in doing so, it will recreate you into something new--a new man, a new creature in Christ. Are you willing, Son? You've sinned before all. Your actions and your sins have been passed around by word of mouth to many, and it has brought much confusion and misunderstanding.

                133. So take the stand and undo the damage. Pour out your heart. David, you're at a crossroads, so make the right choice. I know you can do it! You know what's right. Just take the steps and fight for the victory and don't let go! Keep fighting, Son! Keep fighting! I know you can do it!

                134. The Devil will fight you at first. He'll make it really hard for you, but keep fighting! Keep doing the humble thing! Keep staying in the Word! Keep fighting back and you can have the victory! You can become the man God wants you to be. I know it! I've seen it! I know what you can become, Son, if you'll yield and humble yourself, if you'll abide in Him and have Him abide in you, if you'll be open and receptive to the Spirit, if you'll quit being ashamed--ashamed to show the Spirit of God to others, ashamed to act in His Love.

                135. Son, if you wanna be really cool, be the man God wants you to be, the man that He's calling you to be, the man of His choosing. (End of prophecy.)

                136. (Mama:) That's quite a challenge, Honey, but Grandpa says you can do it! All things are possible to him that believeth! The Lord is offering you all His help, Grandpa is offering you his help, your spirit helpers are going to help you, and we're going to be praying for you, so you know that you can do it!

As You Take Steps for Jesus, He'll Take Steps for You!

                137.David, you asked us to pray specifically about whether you should stay there or whether you should go elsewhere. When we prayed about this question, the Lord answered by saying that when you make your decision about what you're going to do--which road you're going to take--that He will then show you where is the best place for you. He said:

                138. (Prophecy, Jesus speaking:) He needs to start right where he is, apologizing and getting prayer, seeking help, yielding to others. I will open a door for him after he repents. When he chooses the right path, when he makes his choices, then I will show him what he should do, where he should go, and what My will is. Much depends upon the choices that he makes. For I cannot send him into My blessings unless he has chosen to follow the paths of My direction.

                139. I will reveal to him that which he should do, and I will make it clear what it is that I wish him to do, if he will take the steps of obedience and of yieldedness and of humility and of love. As he takes steps for Me, I will take steps for him, and I will show him the way. I will make it clear to him. I will bring him into fulfillment if he will follow the path that I have placed before him. But this choice is his. I cannot tell you what he should do and where he should go until he tells Me the path that he will ride upon.

                140. If he chooses My path, then must he also choose to do the humble things. In choosing these, in repenting and changing and asking for forgiveness and humbling himself in the sight of others, so will he find that which he seeks, and so will I reward him with that which I wish to give to him, and so will I show him where he should go and what he should do.

                141. My directions, My choices and My blessings are contingent on his will, his choices, and his commitments. For if I say to him, "Go here," and he goes with an unclean heart, he will not find contentment there; he will not find My blessings there. But if he does those things which I say to do, and he humbles himself and yields himself unto Me, and then I say, "Go here," and he goes with a pure heart, in a right spirit, so will he find the blessings.

                142. Say to him, "Make your choice." Once he begins on the path that I have placed before him, the path of My Spirit, the path of commitment, and the vehicle of My Word, I will show him the direction to take.

                143. So I do not tell him what he should do until he tells Me what he shall do. For I have brought him to the crossroads, and now the choice is his. (End of prophecy.)

                144. (Mama:) Sweetheart, it seems that perhaps you've already made that choice that the Lord is talking about, and that He has already shown you where He wants you to go, at least for now, and He's even gotten you there already! Thank You Jesus! We were pleasantly surprised to hear that you are now in Eastern Europe participating in the meetings where they're showing the Summit videos. We're really praying for you, and see this as a wonderful sign of the Lord's Love and mercy. We also see it as a reward for you for making your first steps of apology and repentance, and starting down that road of commitment in the vehicle of His Word. So apparently you told the Lord what you were going to do for Him, and now He has told you what He will do for you, and has already started working in your life! Isn't that wonderful?

Read and Reread These Personal Words of Love!

                145. Honey, I'm trying to say in this letter all the things I would tell you if you were here, and of course that is taking me quite a long time. But please bear with me, because these things are important in order to help you get back on track. These are the rich, pure Words of God that He is telling you to take hold of and cling to desperately--personal Words straight from Him to your heart. He's privileged you above many others in so many ways, and now you not only have all the printed Word--all the Letters that Grandpa and I have written--at your disposal, but you have all this personal Word, direct to you, tailored to your personal, individual situation, that the Lord in His Love has poured out upon you, even giving you a direct link with Grandpa, who can counsel you so lovingly and in such abundance.

                146. So please read and reread it. Study it, pray over it, ask the Lord to help you receive it and absorb it and make it part of your being. Ask Him to help you yield and do it. Cry out to Him desperately with all your heart as you did before, and ask Him to continue to give you a hunger for it, or renew your hunger, and help you to put it into practice and do what He is asking you to do. Keep praying desperately that He'll erase all your doubts, and give you a great love for Him and a desire to do whatever He asks you to do, no matter what it is.

                147. I just want to comment on a few of the points in the prophecies above, these recent ones that the Lord just gave us in response to your request. It must be encouraging for you, David, that what the Lord is telling you here about the road to commitment and the vehicle of the Word, He already has showed you by His Spirit. You see, when you cry out desperately to the Lord, no matter how far you've gotten away from Him, He will be there instantly to answer your call and to speak to you. So, as you can see, you did hear from Him clearly, and you obeyed by believing and receiving the answer, that you should pray desperately that He would take away your doubts and renew your hunger and love for His Word!--That this was what would connect you and hold you and keep you and wash you and cleanse you.

The Search for Fun and Happiness

                148. You've been looking for fun and happiness everywhere except in the Lord, but He says, "All the things that you wish to be can only be found in Me, for there is no success but in Me." And, I might add, neither is there any excitement or real fun or real love, except in Jesus! The thing is, you can't really find total joy in anything, no matter how appealing or attractive it is, unless you've made Jesus the focal point of your life, unless you've put Him first.

                149. He just doesn't allow you to be happy when you're searching for these things for your own satisfaction, and you're letting them take the place in your heart that Jesus should be taking, when you're looking for excitement and satisfaction in these things instead of in Jesus. But when you put Jesus first and yield to His will in your life, He rewards you by giving you greater happiness than you can ever imagine, and by adding to your life all the other things that you like and enjoy.

                150. The Lord says that He knows you love Him and that you desire to serve Him. But He's trying to show you that you have to make a choice; you can't serve yourself and serve Him at the same time. And to serve Him, you have to make the decision to put aside your own desires and commit yourself to doing what He wants you to do, driving down the road of commitment in the vehicle of His Word.

                151. It may seem like a great sacrifice and that you're not going to be able to have any fun, that it's going to be boring and lonely and painful. But when you really think of it, that's what happens when you follow your own way. You thought doing your own thing was going to give you the excitement and friendship and love that you wanted, but it's just been husks, it's all been a mirage. But now, if you'll turn around and do what Jesus wants you to do, even though at first it may seem impossible, He promises to give you great reward and great blessing, joy and happiness, and real fun.

                152. This is where faith comes in. You have to believe that if you go the Lord's way and make the sacrifices, including humbling your pride, dying to yourself and your own desires, that after you've had patience and done His will awhile, you will receive the promise. It doesn't always come immediately, because that wouldn't be any test. You have to first prove your willingness and your obedience, and then you'll see the fulfillment of all the Lord's promises!

The Privilege of Another Chance!

                153. The Lord has had to show you to what depths you can go when you forsake Him and His way and go your own way. But at the same time, He sees you as the man that you can become if you'll follow this road of commitment. He says you're not the only one to have to turn around and go back the right way; there have been many others who have done this. This is the wise thing, the mature thing to do; that when you see you've made a mistake and been wrong, you're man enough to face it, and admit it to yourself and others and turn around and go the right way. This takes courage and conviction and commitment, and all this comes because of your love for Jesus, because you love Him enough to obey and yield, even if you don't understand. You love Him enough to do it because He asks you to.

                154. It's a marvelous privilege, Honey, to have another chance; it's not a right that you just automatically get. It comes partially as a result of others' prayers for you, others' love for you, which, of course, is Jesus' Love for you. But as you can see in these prophecies, the Lord says that it's because of my prayers and Grandpa's petitions that He is giving you this opportunity to return to His will, and that He is promising to bless you richly if you will turn now and forsake living in the pig pen and take up His cross and follow Him. When He says, "The prayers of your mother and the petitions of your father," He not only means our personal requests to Him for you, but those of our household, and the Family who are also praying for you.

                155. There are many who are looking to see what you're going to do and are praying that you will do the right thing, because they love you, and because they know that their faith will be strengthened because of it. Even the Lord humbles Himself to come down to you and plead with you to make the right decision. He says that only on the path that He is placing before you--the road of commitment in the vehicle of the Word--will you be able to be cleansed and made new and protected from the attacks of the Enemy in your life.

                156. Then Grandpa pleads with you to fight the fight of faith, to obey, to yield, to humble yourself. You're looking for happiness and fulfillment, and Grandpa says it takes all these other things first, and you haven't been manifesting much of any of these lately; therefore, you have been feeling frustrated, unhappy and discontented.

It Isn't the Background that Makes the Man, It's the Choices that He Makes!

                157. Grandpa touches on one of the things that you have been misled about for a long time, and which, sad to say, you have spread around and misled others in as well. One of the excuses that you've used for your actions is that it's because of your upbringing, because you've been behind the scenes. Honey, this is not true. However, even if you want to consider this a very difficult background to come out of, there have been many other difficulties that other people have faced that were much worse, believe me, and they didn't let their backgrounds stop them from doing the right thing and being obedient and yielded to the Lord.

                158. There's nothing too hard for the Lord, and even if you think you had the worst background in the whole Family and were deprived of everything that you should've had in your training as a missionary (which is absolutely not true!), this is still no excuse. The Lord is able to handle anything and overcome any obstacles. Grandpa points out here that these are just excuses you've used, because what it comes down to is that it's your own choice.

                159. Even if you didn't learn everything you needed in order to prepare you for life on the field, you had all the basic essentials: You had the spiritual principles, which were the most important. You had all the Word and the sample of love and faith and obedience, and that gave you all that you needed, so that you could have succeeded in whatever you put your hand to.

                160. I know you were also told all this by Josiah [who happened to be visiting his family in the same Home], just a few weeks after you had gone to the field. Josiah later wrote me that he had said to you that he knew for a fact that you'd had the best training possible; he had even seen it for himself, having visited us several times in the past and having stayed with us for enough time to know. He said that you couldn't tell him that your training was lacking and you're not able to be everything you could have been because of the input, or lack of it, that you've had, because he knew differently. He said that your tearing things down didn't speak all that well for you as a person. It's what you do with what you receive that makes a difference. That's what the Lord judges you on--not your gifts or your accomplishments, but your faithfulness in the place that He has put you, and your faithfulness with what He's given you.

                161. Jo told you that with everything that has been invested in you, you could go out and win the world! But instead of counting your blessings and appreciating all that you've been given, you were tearing it all down. You were believing a lie and were spreading it around to so many others. You were trying to put the blame on others just because you didn't want to be everything that you could be, because you thought it was too difficult. He told you that the responsibility was on you, not on others.

                162. In fact, through your sample and the things you've told other young people, you've as good as said that what Dad and I have been preaching about in more than 3,000 Letters doesn't work. Because whether you intend it or not, the impression people get is that if it didn't work on you who were right there getting the sample firsthand, then how can it work with anyone else?

                163. The way many people interpreted your actions was that you were saying by them that, "The Letters aren't really true because they didn't work on me. There must not be enough in those Letters to make our young people happy, satisfied, fulfilled and fruitful, because it hasn't made me that way!" I know you may not feel that way or have meant for people to take it that way, but unfortunately that's the conclusion that some people are going to draw, particularly those who are weaker and don't have real solid faith in the Word themselves.

                164. Jo also told you that there are a lot of YAs who have been raised on the Family standard and, in fact, received a lot less than you did, and they're head and shoulders above any kid out there in the System, and they're going places in the Family with the little (in comparison with you) that they have received. They may have just received a small portion of what you have received, but they're multiplying it and doing something with it for Jesus. They're not using foul language and getting drunk and listening to System music day and night, watching video after video and "fleshing out," because they want to stay true to the things they have been taught and the things they know to be right. They don't want to stumble those around them.

                165. He went on to tell you that with all the training that has been poured into you, you can face any problems, and you can win and conquer and not be a failure. There's enough in your training to handle and manage anything that comes your way. Many of the folks at the border base, where you were a bad sample, felt like they would have wanted to have the training you had and opportunities that you had, but when they saw your sample they became very confused.

                166. Jo also told you that you shouldn't label your upbringing as bad or negative or incomplete just because you wanted to try something else. He explained to you that you could just say what the truth of the matter was, and the way you could truthfully explain it is that you had gotten a lot of theory, but now you wanted to go out to the field and experience it. On the other hand, you could go out and tear everything down and blame everything on us and the way you had been brought up and make it look like everything in your past was a mistake, which unfortunately is what you more or less opted to do.

                167. That saddens me, because I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that the training you got was very good. You may not have always lived around as many young people as you would have liked, and you may not have gotten out witnessing as much as you and we would have liked you to. But you had a lot of marvelous, face-to-face personalized training from Grandpa, you had a lot of opportunities to learn a variety of skills, including some witnessing, and you had very concerned and loving shepherds who took good care of you, and with whom you had lots of fun times as well.

                168. I think you got confused, David, thinking that because you were sheltered, that meant that you were deprived. As you'll notice, the Lord in one of the earlier prophecies that I put in this letter to you said that you had been sheltered, and that was why you had to get out and experience things for yourself: "For he has been sheltered, he has been protected, and it is necessary that he get out, away from the protected, sheltered environment, so he can learn the deep spiritual lessons that I have for him, that will make him an even more useful tool, a more yielded vessel for My work."

                169. But you see, David, being sheltered doesn't mean being deprived. Sheltered means protected. Bethy (Peter and Abi's eldest daughter), who grew up sheltered like you did, has lived on the field a couple of times and hasn't manifested any desire to get into the things of the world or turn her back on the Lord.

                170. As was explained to you, there have been a lot of young people who spent years in field Homes who were probably just as sheltered as you were! They didn't get to go out witnessing much either. They were stuck in one ministry, and didn't even have the variety you did! Some of their Homes were not very open for years; it's only been in the last couple of years that our Homes have started opening up and inviting visitors. Neither were they able to get their hands on as many movies as you did, or hear as much System music--which we didn't approve of, but which, nevertheless, you listened to anyway. If you want to talk about sheltered, some of them were as sheltered or even more sheltered from System influences than you were! And many of these same young people are strong disciples today, while others of them are not. It depended upon their choices, not on their background or their circumstances.

                171. There are many of our young people who grew up in the same or very similar Homes, and had similar circumstances and the same training; some made it, some didn't. How do you explain that? The Lord and Grandpa say that it isn't the background or circumstances that make the man, it's the choices that he makes. The upbringing someone has certainly is a major contributing factor that makes it either more or less difficult for them to make the right choices, but ultimately, everyone has to choose their own path and make their own decisions regardless of what anyone else has told them or the way they were raised.

                172. If you want to talk about real, true deprivation, many of our first disciples were really deprived, as far as their background and training. Some of them came from horrible situations, broken homes, drug addiction, many ingrained bad habits, all kinds of things that in the natural could have held them back and kept them from serving Jesus. But nothing, absolutely nothing, is too hard for the Lord, and no one is an exception when it comes to being able to receive His help. He has grace and power enough for everyone, and there's no excuse for not being able to do the right thing and be the right sample.

                173. David, do you know what your spreading this lie around that you were deprived in your training and life with us has done? Well, a lot of damage, to be blunt. I know that you sincerely thought that your training was lacking. But because you have rejected the truth for so long, you received strong delusion and you believed this lie. I have been so burdened for you, and I have wondered what we could possibly have done differently with you, how we could have helped you more, and what it was that caused you to get in such bad shape in spite of all we tried to do for you. Even though we weren't perfect, I knew that we had done the very best we could, and followed the Lord to the best of our ability. So I decided to ask the Lord what had happened.

                174. It's clear you have made the wrong choices, but why did you make these choices? Was it our fault? Was it really your upbringing? I couldn't see how it could be, but I wanted to ask the Lord to make sure. I wanted Him to also show us exactly what your problems stem from. Of course I knew that much of it stemmed from your refusal to accept the responsibility that the Lord was giving you, to claim your birthright and the job that He has for you to do. I also knew that much of your problem came from your lack of desire for the Word and your not being connected to the Lord through His Word. I knew that your pride was a big problem for you, and also that the influences from System movies and music had been very strong, and had perverted your appetite. But I asked the Lord to tell me all this in perspective and give me a clear picture of how these things had entered your life, and what part they played in your going so far astray.

                175. I'm going to include below what He said, because I think if you'll receive His Word with openness and pray desperately against the Devil's lies in your ears, that the Lord will help to clear up many misconceptions that you have had, and will help you to see the truth of how, step by step, you got off track.

                176. This is very sobering, and I'm sure that similar things have happened to many of our young people. It may be very discouraging to you to see so clearly how serious all this has gotten, but it should make you more convinced than ever that you've got to run for dear life into the arms of Jesus and never go astray again. You've got to stay on that road of commitment in the vehicle of His Word--Jesus--so the Devil can't snatch you away again.

                177. The wonderful bright side of this story, David, is that the Lord makes beautiful promises to you, that if you will turn and face the light and humble yourself, repent and apologize to those who have been so hurt by what you have done, He will forgive you and take you back into His arms. If you will make up your mind to forsake your own ways, and follow His Word and His will for you, He will restore you--your mind, your spirit, your heart--and He will bless you mightily. So there truly will be a happy ending, and the Lord will get great victories out of seeming defeats!

What Went Wrong?

                178. (Prophecy, Jesus speaking:) David is My son, My servant, My chosen one. I have gifted him with special gifts for his calling and ministry and destiny. I have blessed him with unique experiences. I have entrusted into his care much riches of wisdom and training and instruction. He has seen a sample that many have longed to see. He has had at his fingertips the deep wealth of the Spirit, and he could drink freely as he chose. I have protected him and sheltered him so that he might be fed and strengthened and grow into one of David's mighty warriors. Much has been given into his hands. Great treasure has been entrusted into his care--treasure chest upon treasure chest of knowledge, wisdom and experience, as he has been taught from the mouth of David and Maria. He has sat at the feet of the prophet and prophetess, and much has been poured into him of the true riches.

                179. His life has not been bound and controlled, but his life has been free! He has known true freedom in the Spirit! He has partaken of the greatest freedom there is--the freedom of love, the freedom of the truth, the freedom of the ecstasies of My Spirit! He has seen revelation after revelation as I have poured it forth through David and Maria. He has seen the moving of My Spirit. He has seen miraculous answers to prayer, and miracle upon miracle of protection, provision and divine guidance. He has seen prophecy fulfilled, and he has seen My Love manifested in ways both great and small.

                180. This one, My son, has not had a deprived childhood, one that was controlled and restricted and bound, but he has had a blessed childhood, more than any other on the face of the Earth, for he has been enveloped with the very Spirit of God! He has drunk deeply of the waters of life, he has swum in the waters of My Word, and he has been fed and has found satisfaction. He has known such riches as few in this world have ever known, and he has experienced great love, compassion, understanding, and forgiveness. All of this was given unto him for a purpose, or for many purposes:

                1. That he might know My Love and experience it to the full.

                2. That he might be able to recognize My voice.

                3. That he might learn My ways--the ways of love and compassion and understanding.

                4. That he might be able to discern right and wrong.

                5. That out of the wealth of Word that he has stored up, he might be able to pour forth unto the hungry.

                6. That he might be a testimony of the love and righteousness of David and Maria.

                7. That he might be kept pure from the pollutions and contaminants of the world so that he might fulfill his destiny, My will, as one of My Endtime prophets.

                181. All of this has been given unto this My child, and much more! Yet you ask, "What went wrong? Why, after all this, such training, such riches and blessing, did this one go so far astray and make the wrong choices?" Yes, unto every man is given the majesty of choice, to choose to do good or evil, to choose to do My will or his own will. Each person is given a choice, and each person must live with the consequences of his choices. Unto whom much has been given, of the same will much be required. Because this one, David, was given so much, so has much been required of him in the way of obedience and yieldedness and faith. But he has turned his back on much of what was given to him because of pride and rebelliousness and disbelief.

                182. He lived in a virtual Garden of Eden, a paradise where love and the Spirit of God reigned supreme. But he wouldn't believe it when he was told that the boundaries in his life, and the guidelines and the training were part of love. He became deceived in his own mind, and instead of desiring the good things of the Spirit--love and unity and the freedom of the Spirit--he began to desire the things that he couldn't have. He didn't want to take the word of his teachers and instructors, he wanted to experience it for himself. He had known good, and now he wanted to know evil. He grew weary in his mind. He resented yieldedness, obedience and submission. He began to see these things as weaknesses, and to see pride and independence and hardness as strengths.

                183. The road to his wrong decisions and wrong choices was paved with many, many little wrong choices, many little rebellions, many times of saying "no," many times of refusing to submit in little things. He began to experiment with going his own way, refusing to yield his pride. He made definite decisions and choices not to obey, not to submit, not to believe the truth, not to accept the explanations and answers to his questions that were given.

                184. As a younger teen, he made a decision, almost like a game in his heart and mind, to refuse counsel, to reject guidance. He wanted to see what would happen, what the result would be if he quit following closely and quit saying "yes" and quit being humble and submitted and obedient. He knew the fruits of doing all those things, and now he wanted to know the fruits, the results of not doing them. He yielded to a mischievous spirit, and so he began to toy with rebellion, pride and unyieldedness. He thought he would just play around, for fun, to see what it was like, to experiment, to do something different.

                185. But, lo and behold, it didn't take very long playing this game before it became a habit! Before he knew it, the good habits he had previously had of listening to counsel and hungering after the Word, saying "yes" to the Lord and his shepherds, and being receptive and hungry, were replaced with bad habits of being skeptical and analytical and doubtful--bad habits of rejecting counsel and looking for the holes in the arguments, bad habits of looking critically at people and situations and looking at what he didn't have instead of counting his blessings for all that he did have.

                186. Little wrong choices, little wrong decisions--many, many of them paved the way and opened the door for the Enemy to come in, and bring with him the great bondage of pride and rebelliousness! What began as a game, as a source of entertainment, as almost a joke, soon became serious bondage of the Enemy! What was once a playful experiment became an unbearable weight of the Enemy!

                187. As a young teen, he recognized when he would make wrong decisions and wrong choices, when he would say "no" instead of "yes," when he would refuse instead of submit. He made a conscious effort and decision, and then he watched the repercussions. He was foolishly testing the waters. He was challenging the Enemy. He was testing his strength. He wanted to see if that which he had been warned of would truly come to pass. It was all very playful and very entertaining, and seemed so innocent. But little by little, this game became a battle, and what was once a toy, a joke, an experiment, became heavy chains of bondage.

                188. This was how My chosen one began to go astray. What were conscious decisions and choices became habits, and those habits became ingrained in his character and his spirit until he no longer recognized when he was making the wrong choice or the wrong response or the wrong decision. He had become blind, dull in his spiritual senses. He had become duped, deceived, diseased, slowly poisoned, until eventually he no longer recognized the wrong or the evil. He no longer saw it as rebelliousness or pride or lack of submission. Soon such negative thoughts and doubts and this analytical way of looking at things took over his whole mind until he had hardly any control.

                189. When he was in the shelter of the Home of the king and queen where the Spirit was strong and free and wild, he had the strength to battle. He had the strength to resist the attacks of the Enemy, and he was supernaturally granted power to regain his right mind. For the sake of the prophet and the prophetess, he was enveloped in a protective shield. He was allowed to only go so far and no further so that it would not harm David and Maria. Respect for his father and mother kept him in check, and though he was weak mentally and spiritually through listening to the lies of the Enemy for so long, because of his respect for his father and mother, he had enough fear of the Lord to fight and to resist and to at least try to do that which was right.

                190. Even though his mind was weak and he so often entertained the lies of the Enemy, even though he no longer saw things correctly through the eyes of love and judging with the standard of the Word, still in his heart he had the desire to please his father and mother and protect them, and that desire kept the Enemy at bay. I had mercy on him for the sake of the king and queen. I had mercy on him because of his love for the king and queen. I had mercy on him in answer to the prayers of the king and queen.

                191. I limited the damage this one could do. I limited the effect the Enemy could have while he was with his father and mother, because I protect and preserve the light of Israel. The honor guard of angels that protect the light of Israel are stronger than the attacks of the Enemy! So there was a forcefield 'round about this one, and he was only allowed to go thus far and no further while he was in the household of the king and queen.

                192. (Mama: Not only did the Lord protect and hedge you about and keep your weaknesses in check while you were here at home, David, but also on your visitation trip to Russia with Amy and Francis. Because you had said "yes" to His will in going on that trip, the Lord gave you the anointing for the job and helped you to be a good sample and a blessing to the Homes you visited. Although you weren't physically in our Home, you were still a part of our Home in spirit, so what the Lord is saying here also applies to that trip.)

                193. (Prophecy continues:) My poor, poor son grew weaker and weaker until he could no longer discern My voice, he could no longer hear My still small voice, but instead heard only his own thoughts, his analyzing, his speculating, his natural, carnal reasoning. You ask, "How did he reach such a point where he became so dull in spirit and deaf to My voice, where he could not sense My direction, My checks, My will? How could one who had been given such great riches become such a pauper? How could one who had been given such good training go so far astray?"

                194. He lost his desire for the Word because he quenched his appetite with the things of the world--movies, music, entertainment, free-time activities, vain conversations. He once had a strong desire for the Word. He wanted to know about the Endtime, he wanted to understand the deep things of the Spirit. But these appetites became perverted because he feasted heavily on the things of this world. When he would watch a movie, he would play it over and over and over in his head. So even though he did not see so many hours of television or movies, the hours were multiplied because he played them over and over in his head, and dwelt on them and thought on them until he began to envy the life that he saw in the movies.

                195. He began to be desirous of the things that he saw and the supposed freedom that he saw and the beautiful women that he saw. And in order to have these things, he started to become somebody he wasn't. He wanted to be intellectual and heady. He wanted to look smart. He wanted to be muscular and strong, a macho man! He didn't want to be a yielded sheep. Instead he wanted to be his own thinking person making his own decisions with nobody telling him what to do!

                196. He became obsessed with the excitement that he saw in movies and television, with the false images that they put forth. He didn't realize that they were unrealistic, that they were a lie, that they were nowhere to be found! But instead he drank them in and partook of them wholeheartedly to where he no longer appreciated the adventure and excitement and thrills that he had at his fingertips to experience in the spirit world. He no longer found satisfaction in the Word, in preparation for the days to come. He was no longer satisfied with the calling and destiny that I had given him. He wanted something more, something different! But little did he know that that which he sought after did not exist! It was only a mirage, for it was a lie of the Enemy!

                197. Likewise he began to fill his heart and mind with music that carried the message of the System. This too fed his discontentment, for this music talked of love and sex and excitement and rebellion! This music painted a picture in his heart and mind of a land and a life that he began to desire and dream of. He began to want it more than anything else! He began to live in this land, this other world where everything seemed so perfect, so free, so beautiful! When he was in this land, he felt strong and free! He felt invincible! He felt attractive! He fed on the sounds and feelings and words which took him further and further into this false world, this false reality which was a creation of the Enemy.

                198. All of this became food for his soul. He fed on it and fed on it and fed on it until he was poisoned! He became very, very weak. He no longer had the strength and vitality that he knew as a child, but instead he was tossed to and fro with every wind of doctrine. He had no stability, he had no strength, he had no vision! He thought that, in his independence and his analytical thinking and his following afar off, he was demonstrating strength, he was becoming an individual, becoming his own man! What he did not realize was that all of this was just weakening him, and he was losing himself. He was losing his place; his kind, loving, soft spirit; his understanding of others; his helpful nature; his cheerful, uplifting, unselfish, giving personality. All of these things were slipping away as he was being poisoned and contaminated by the Enemy.

                199. While he lived on the mountain, he benefited from the protection of the strong honor guard of angels that encamped 'round about the household of David and Maria. His sins and weaknesses and shortcomings were kept in check. But when he chose to leave Shangri-La, the protected inner unit, when he chose to come down from the mountaintop, then he no longer benefited from the strong honor guard of angels. Then he faced the rude awakening of just how very weak and deluded and deceived he had become! He saw that he practically had no control over his thoughts or his words. And though he would try time and time again to do the right thing, even when he wanted to do the right thing, his bad habits were so deeply ingrained in his mind and his thoughts and his speech and his actions that he had very little control, and very little strength.

                200. He became bound with tight cords of pride because he refused to confess and come clean. He didn't want anybody to see what bad shape he was in, how desperate he was for help! So instead of humbling himself and crying out desperately for help and deliverance, and showing himself weak and needy and helpless, he hardened his heart. He closed himself off to counsel, to My Words, to the strength he could have found in his shepherds, and he put on a bold, strong face. He found strength in pride and rebellion and independence. He found strength in acting like he didn't care, that it didn't matter to him. And eventually he felt that he only had the strength to do what was wrong; he couldn't do what was right, so why even bother, why even try? He just couldn't do it! So he gave up the fight.

                201. He was no longer concerned with being a good sample, with upholding the name of David and Maria, with being a testimony of his training and the Word and the Spirit that he had feasted on in the days of his youth.

                202. Now it's a desperate fight for survival! Now it's a life-or-death struggle! Now he's barely holding on with hardly enough strength to survive. The Enemy has beaten him and whipped him! The Enemy that once enticed him and promised him everything has now bound him and is choking the very life out of this, My chosen one!

                203. But where there is life, there is hope!--And I have heard the faint cries of this, My son. I have seen his desperate tears. I have seen him upon the ground crying out! I have felt his frustration. I have seen that he has come to the end of his rope, the end of himself. Now he knows there is nowhere to turn but up! Now he knows he can no longer pretend to be strong and act like he doesn't care and it doesn't matter to him. He has finally come to the point where he's willing to be humbled, even humiliated, because he knows he can't do it on his own. He has finally reached a point of desperation that has driven him to call out to Me. He is finally broken and willing to endure exposure, public humiliation and embarrassment. If he will do this, it will break the chains of the Enemy which have him bound, and he will be on the road to recovery. I have seen his sincerity, I have heard his prayers, and I have felt his desire to commit himself.

                204. He has grown sick of the lies and enticements of the Enemy. He has become glutted with the niceties of the System. He is no longer enticed by the sirens of Babylon, for he knows that in this way there is no satisfaction, there is no happiness, but only death and thirst and pain. Out of this deep, dark experience will come beauty for ashes. I will restore this son to his place of former glory. I will renew his mind. I will give him strength of spirit. I will give him a soft heart of flesh, and I will put within him a hunger for My Word and Truth and Spirit. He will learn once again to appreciate the riches that were so abundant in his life, in his youth. Through these experiences, I will give him the heart of a shepherd.

                205. For years he has not wanted to be a sample, he has not wanted to be the famous Davidito, he has not wanted to be the son of the king. He wanted to be just like everyone else. He didn't want to have to answer questions and pour forth the truth and carry the heavy weights of leadership. He rebelled and rejected this calling in his life. He cast off the cloak of David and he pushed away the crown and the anointing. Because he had been so blessed, so rich all of his life, he did not see the need for this person, this Davidito, this prophet from the king's house. He did not see the need to be a sample, to be a shepherd, or to lead the way. Because he had always been blessed with such love, such good shepherding, such understanding, he did not realize what it meant to be desperate for a guide, for a helping hand, for a strong shoulder to lean on.

                206. But now that he has been in the depths of despair, now that he has come to the end of himself, now that he has to reach up and find that strong arm, that helping hand, that shoulder to lean on, he will have learned much more compassion and understanding for others. He will see the need for the sample. He will see the need for the name, for the prophet from the king's house. He will understand that there are many like him looking for a shepherd, looking for strength, looking for someone they can follow, someone they can rally around, someone from whom they can draw strength.

                207. But most importantly, this experience will cause great love to burst forth in this one's heart--love that will be manifested in sympathy and understanding and compassion; love that will be put into action through prayer and receiving My Words for others and pointing them to the written Word. This love will bring about in his heart a desire to yield and submit and commit himself to My will. He will be willing to take up his cross and say, "Not my will but Thine be done. If I am to be Davidito, so be it. If I am to bear the weight of the crown before the people, so be it. If I am to be one of the Endtime prophets that the people rally around, a symbol of the king and queen and the Kingdom, so be it. Not my will but Thine be done, O Lord!"

                208. This one, My son, will be willing to become My vessel, My prophet, My shepherd, My leader in the Endtime. He will pass through this valley of darkness, this valley of death, and he will be born again a new creature, a new creation in My hands. He will leave off from his ways of pride and rebelliousness. He will forsake the shallowness and the desires of the world, and in its place will richly dwell My Love and Word and the freedom of My Spirit!

                209. He will take up the crown that he has left far behind, and he will wear it with honor. Because of these dark days that he has experienced, after feeling the judgment and hand of the Enemy heavy upon his life, he will be moved with mercy and compassion upon others, and he will be willing to humble himself and take up his crown and become the mighty man of David that he is destined to be!

                210. Out of his belly where once flowed poisonous rivers of the world shall flow rivers of living water! Out of his heart that was once so hard and bound by pride and rebelliousness shall flow rivers of love! And out of his mind that was once troubled and weakened through doubts and analyzing and resisting the truth shall flow rivers of My Word. He shall become a new creature in all ways! All of this is My promise to this one, My chosen one, My anointed one, the son of the king and queen. All of this is My promise, and I lie not. I lay the promise of these blessings, these treasures, this anointing, this fruitful future before this one, and I beg him to receive it!

                211. But it is not without a price! He has to continue on the road of commitment. He has to continue on the path of humility, and he has to fight and resist and rebuke the Evil One! For the Enemy fights long and hard for the life and usefulness of this, My son. He knows that in destroying him, he has won a great victory! He knows that in weakening him, he weakens the Kingdom, for there are many who watch and behold and are stumbled!

                212. So this, My son, must fight with all that is within him to conquer the Enemy and his bad habits. And he must continue in the path of commitment and humility and yieldedness. If he does, all that I have promised will be his. I shall free him from confusion. I shall deliver him from doubt and darkness. I shall break the bonds of pride and rebelliousness. All the riches and treasures that he knew as a child shall once again spring forth with great beauty and life, and he shall be a new creature! He shall be My David of the End, a mighty warrior of the Spirit! He shall rally the troops and they shall follow him, if he continues on the path of commitment, walking humbly in My Love. (End of prophecy.)

He's Promising You Everything If You'll Give Him Everything!

                213. (Mama:) David, isn't it amazing how the Lord can go back through the years and explain in detail our history, our choices, the thoughts and intents of our hearts! What a God we have! And how very loving He is!

                214. The Lord describes your childhood as being a very privileged one, a wonderful one, one that the Lord calls "blessed more than any other on the face of the Earth" because you have been "enveloped with the very Spirit of God," and you have "known such riches as few in this world have ever known." He says He did that for many reasons, not only as a token of His Love, but so that you would be able to recognize His voice, learn His ways of love, be able to discern between right and wrong, be able to give the wonder working Words to others, be a testimony of the wonderful upbringing you've had, and be kept pure from the world so you could better fulfill your destiny as one of the Lord's Endtime prophets. All of the kids who've been brought up in the Family have partaken of these privileges to varying degrees, but you in particular have had a special blessing along these lines.

                215. But in spite of all that the Lord gave you, He says you have turned your back on much of what was given to you because of pride and rebelliousness and disbelief. The Lord shows how you reached the point of rejecting the Word and no longer desired the good things. He shows you how you turned away from the good habits that you had developed, and formed the bad habits of being skeptical and analytical and doubtful, rejecting counsel and looking critically at things, as well as looking at what you didn't have instead of all you did have.

                216. Because you opened the door many times to little bad choices, soon your rebellion and pride had such a grip on you that you were in great bondage to them, and those bad habits even became part of you, part of your character, until you couldn't even recognize the right from the wrong. The Lord said it's because you played around with the Enemy so long that finally he had you right where he wanted you, to where he'd almost completely taken over your mind, to where you had hardly any control of your thoughts.

                217. The Lord said, however, that your respect for Dad and me and your love for us kept you in check. While you were at home you fought the Enemy and resisted and at least tried to do what was right. Not only that, but because of the Lord's protection for all of us, He kept you from going too far astray while you were with us. And Sweetheart, the Lord said that you had the desire to please us and protect us, and that desire kept the Enemy at bay. The Lord says He had mercy on you because of your love for us, and because of His Love for us.

                218. The Lord goes on to explain why you lost your love for the Word: Because you feasted heavily on the things of the System, and then you desired them above anything else. You wanted to be independent and be able to make your own decisions and do what you wanted to do. You wanted to find excitement and satisfaction in the things of the world, which wasn't possible, because as the Lord said, it was only a mirage. So you fed on all of the poison of the System until you became very, very weak, until you were tossed to and fro with every wind of doctrine and had lost your stability, your strength, your vision, your soft, loving spirit, your understanding of others, your helpful nature, your unselfish, giving personality--all the wonderful and beautiful gifts that the Lord had given you to use for Him, but which you didn't consider of much value. You wanted showier, flashier gifts which you thought were of greater importance.

                219. The Lord said that you finally saw that you had practically no control over your thoughts or your words, and even though you'd try time after time to do the right thing, it was almost impossible because you wouldn't humble yourself and confess what bad shape you were in, because you didn't want other people to know. Even though you really wanted help, you weren't willing to pay the price of having others know about your problems, so instead you hardened yourself. And in order to keep going, the Lord says you found strength in pride and rebellion and independence. When you had gotten so far off the track that it seemed you could only do the wrong thing, you wondered what good it was even to try. So you gave up the fight, you gave up trying to be a good sample. Now, the Lord says, you're barely holding on with hardly enough strength to survive.

                220. But the wonderful good news of all this, sweet boy, is that the Lord says that where there is life there is hope! He has heard your faint cries and seen your desperate tears. He's seen that you have come to the end of your rope and that now you're willing to acknowledge that you're not strong after all. The Lord says you've finally come to the place where you're willing to be humbled because you're so desperate, and you know that if you don't call out to the Lord, all hope is gone. The Lord says that you no longer care what you have to do, just so you can get back. He says you're willing to endure public humiliation and embarrassment, and let the Lord and others know you need help, that you're sorry for the road you took, and that you want to get back to the road of His will.

                221. It's so wonderful, Honey, to know that the Lord has heard you and is answering and is giving you another opportunity. We here have all prayed so long for this. You've taken the first step in wanting to get back in fellowship with those who are strong and can help to strengthen and shepherd you, those who love the Word and will help to feed you. It was such a miracle how the Lord worked it out for you to go to these meetings where the Summit videos are being shown, such a wonderful token of His Love.

                222. The Lord makes many wonderful promises to you, Honey. Just read them over and see what love He has for you. You've been a prodigal son, but He's willing to take you back into His arms once again and shower His Love and gifts upon you, if you'll meet the few conditions. Whereas before you were such a bad testimony, now you can be such a wonderful testimony! Out of what seemed like a very great defeat, you can help the Lord to bring about great victory. Many lessons can be learned through your experience and you can become stronger in the Lord than you ever imagined!

                223. The Lord says it will be a very big fight, because your bad habits are very strong, but that doesn't mean you can't do it. He says you can, just that it's going to be a fight. He promises you victory if you're willing to put forth some effort, if you're willing to fight against your daydreaming and those bad thoughts and bad thought patterns and attitudes, if you're willing not only to admit where you went wrong, but to put on the whole armor of God, so you can stand against the attacks of the Enemy. It's no more than many people have had to do. They've overcome, and so can you.

                224. And David, please avail yourself of the help of your shepherds and others you're with, to keep fighting for the victory. As the Lord said, although the first step of commitment, confession and honesty is the biggest one and great progress, it's still going to be a fight to stick to your commitment, to keep resisting the Enemy and climbing back up the right road.

                225. I know the Lord's going to help you, Honey, because He promises that He will, and because He loves you and I love you and we're all praying for you. But it's going to take some effort on your part. Every time those thoughts of the Enemy, those pollutions of the System, come into your mind in the form of daydreams or doubts or System songwords that are contrary to God's Word, you're going to have to militantly resist them! Here's some very good counsel from Grandpa about this, from "Letter to a Laborer":

                226. "Remember that not all voices are of God, and you must 'try the spirits' to make sure that what you're hearing is of the Lord. If it is not according to His Word or causes you to be discontent or bitter, dissatisfied or unhappy or critical of others, these things are not of the Lord and you must rebuke the Enemy in Jesus' name when he tempts you with these negative thoughts.

                227. "One of your best protections is to keep busy for God and obedient to those who love you in the Lord, and also to fill your mind and heart with positive, encouraging, strengthening and faith-building thoughts from His Word, remembering, memorizing and continually quoting to yourself and even to the Enemy when he attacks you, and claiming such promises of God constantly as you cling to His Word" (ML #325:6-7).

                228. (Mama:) Those are good quotes, David, and you may want to read the whole Letter. Another good one along these lines is "Overcoming Vices" from the Treasures. Also, reading the "Prophecies on Pride and Humility" (GN 672), and maybe the "Prophecies on Yieldedness" (GN 673) would be a help to you.

                229. Another point, Honey, that is going to help you, is if you're open to others' help and even correction when you slip and voice doubts that are contrary to the Word or when you aren't the sample that you should be. I was real glad to hear that even though it was tough to take, you made an effort not to be sensitive when some of your peers gave you counsel, and I'm proud of you for that. If you're open to and even eager for other people to remind you and help you when you fall, then it'll get easier to recognize when you're doing things wrong. I know that correction doesn't always feel real good, but if it helps you stay on the road of your commitment and fighting for the victory that you want to attain, then it's worth it, isn't it?

                230. David, this is a wonderful privilege, another chance that the Lord is giving you. He is promising you everything if you'll just give Him everything! Remember that everything that's worth anything costs something. Don't be afraid of a fight. Get in there, roll up your sleeves and do it! You can do it if you want to! You can do it if you're willing to work at it! You can do it if you want it more than anything else in the world! The Lord never gives us anything that's too hard for us, and if you're willing to meet His conditions, He's promised to do great things for you!

                231. Sweet David, even though this is going to be very hard, you can do it with the Lord's help. He isn't asking you to do anything that you can't do. His grace is sufficient, and people will admire you greatly for it and love you even more.

                232. Honey, the things that the Lord promises you are so beautiful! Don't ever let anything stand in the way of your accepting these gifts that He holds out to you. No matter what it takes, no matter how hard you think it is, no matter how long it takes, no matter how discouraged you get, get up and try again. No matter what the Enemy whispers in your ear, don't listen to him. This is going to be a battle and you've got to wage it militantly, but always look at the goal and remember the swine pit, the hell that you've gone through, and know that you never want to go there again!

                233. Honey, please do it not only for your sake, but for our sake, for the sake of your Family. Your testimony will be a greater help than you know. It will not only clear up confusion in the lives of many who have watched you, but it will help them to guard themselves against wrong choices born of pride or rebellion, and to see where they can lead.

                234. What a relief it is to know that the Lord's Love for us never changes and that it's really true. As Dad always said, we can never be too bad for Jesus!

Sharing Lessons and Confessing Mistakes

                235. If you don't know where to start, Sweetheart, with those there with you, you could just start by reading them parts of the letter that you wrote us. This was such a beautiful first step, and expresses your desire to get back on track. You could also read the prophecy from Jesus that explains why you made the wrong choices that you did. This would clear up all those questions that everyone has had, and would be a way that you wouldn't have to explain it in your own words, but you could explain it in the Lord's Words.

                236. Sometimes when we're just getting back on board, we ourselves don't even understand all the ways in which we went wrong, and it's hard for us to get all the lessons out of the situation for ourselves and for others until later down the line. But now, in the Lord's Love and mercy, He has explained it so clearly, and He has made it much easier for you to share your story of how you got off track. What do you think?

                237. This would hopefully answer all the questions that others will have--about your training and then your wrong behavior. It talks about the System music, and if you feel you need to add anything else, like about the times you got drunk, watching lots of unedifying movies, you can.

                238. I know it's going to be difficult to read these things with everyone, David, but after you have shared your testimony with those there, the chains will be broken and it will be easier to talk about these things with others. Once you've seen that they don't despise you for it, but they admire you for your confession and your humility, it will be easier to continue using your testimony to help others.

                239. Sweetheart, I hope you'll be able to understand how important it is that you not only share these things with those you affected personally, but with the entire Family. For one, news travels so fast through the grapevine, so although you may have only been in a few Homes and your sample may have personally affected only a few dozen people, the repercussions of it have spread pretty far and pretty fast. So as much as I know it's difficult for you, I believe that is what the Lord is requiring of you at this time in order to really make the break, and for this fresh start to take off. But think of the good that it's going to do, and how much people are going to be able to benefit from these lessons and battles, just like you've benefited from the lessons and battles of others whose testimonies have been in the pubs.

                240. In sharing your lessons with the folks there, you may also want to spell out some of the problems you had, so that people will know what to watch for in their own lives and behavior. If you agree with my letter to you, and believe it, and want to do what's right, you could just say so, and that you're very sorry that you got off track and got into the very worldly and ungodly things that you did, like the overdose on System music, getting drunk, the porno videos, the excessive video watching, as well as the sins of the spirit, like criticism, dissension, making untrue statements that gave people a very distorted picture of what it's like in WS or our Home, speaking against prophecy, not joining in with the Homes you were in, etc.

                241. Remember when you were on the trip to Russia with Amy and Francis, how sharing your testimony of how you'd gotten off track when you were in one of the WS units and the lessons you learned when you came back home was a real help to the young people who heard them? So even though it's tough, and I'm sorry that it is, I know that sharing these things with the Family will bear good fruit not only in your life, but in the lives of others.

                242. I can understand how you might feel that your having to again share your lessons and confess your mistakes, when you already did so on your first trip to Russia, might seem just too difficult. You may worry that people may look down on you for having "failed again." But you know, David, I think it will encourage them and help them all the more. Because it happens to everyone at some point or another: We learn lessons, but then later we blow it again and have to learn the same or similar lessons over again.

                243. So I think it will help people who heard your previous testimony to see that although you may have fallen again, you're not giving up, but you're getting back on your feet and trying again--with more determination than ever! It's like that verse about how a just man falls seven times and then rises up again (Pro.24:16). What counts are not the falls, but whether he keeps rising up. So I think people will admire you all the more for not giving up.

                244. I know that when I've had to make apologies in the pubs, or Grandpa had to say something that humbled me, it was just that initial step of doing it that was so hard, and then it was such a liberation, such a feeling of freedom that everybody knew how bad I was, so I didn't have to worry about upholding any image any more. If you'll just cry out to the Lord for that initial power to do it, you'll feel so free and so much happier, and you'll really be on the way to victory!

                245. Amy was telling me the other day that she has always admired you so much for your willingness to apologize when you've made mistakes or thought you had hurt someone. She said it really meant a lot to her and others when you'd be so sweet to come to them afterwards and apologize. It's one thing both Amy and Gabe said they could always count on you for, to come and say you were sorry. Honey, I'm proud of you for having the humility to do that, and that is truly when your sweetness and tenderness come through, when you take that step to apologize.

                246. Honey, as you know, all of our wonderful young people in the Family are my children too, just as much as you are, because as you know, the Word says that those that do the Lord's will are our brothers and our sisters, and sons and daughters (Mat.12:48-50). You're truly my son when you're doing the Lord's will, just as they are my sons and daughters when they're doing the Lord's will. Most of them look up to you like an older brother. And when the older brother has been naughty and led the younger ones astray, the parents have to help to straighten out the situation by explaining to the younger ones the older one's actions. So I'm sorry, Sweetheart, but we do have to do that. But if the older brother will apologize and explain himself, and he will do it along with the parents, it is such a wonderful testimony, and an even greater victory will come out of it.

When You Feel Like You're Sinking, Run to Him and His Word!

                247. The Lord is so precious to continue to show you His unconditional Love. No matter how bad you've been, He continues to love you. The closer you draw to Him and the more you humble yourself before Him and others, the more He is going to manifest that love toward you. All these Words that He has given you are such a wonderful, wonderful token of His Love for you. What a privilege and honor to be able to hear Him speak from Heaven so personally to you!

                248. He loves you so much that He is trying to do absolutely everything He can to help you make it back. He is going to do all in His power to make it as easy as possible for you to fulfill the conditions. He encourages you again in the following message not to fear the humblings, but to cry out with all your heart to Him and He will give you the strength for it and the courage and the words to speak. Grab ahold of this wonderful counsel from Jesus, David, and do what He says, and you're going to be fine. You don't have to worry. Just follow His instructions, look into His face and keep your eyes on Him.

                249. So, Honey, the best thing to do is to read and reread all these wonderful Words the Lord has given you. Remember that your strength lies in the power of the Word and believing what Jesus is telling you. The Devil will try to tell you the opposite, so you must keep your eyes on Jesus, keep your mind on His Words, keep reading them and reviewing them, and keep believing what He says and doing it. When the Devil starts to discourage you or lie to you, come back to these Words and read this entire letter. Don't think once is enough or even twice, but keep reading it, memorize it, bind it to your forehead, claim His promises over and over!

                250. When you feel yourself sinking, don't just surrender to it! Run to Him, run to the Word! Run to this letter and all these things He's telling you personally, all the things I'm telling you, and hold on to them for dear life! Do this as many times as you have to, over and over again. Don't let go of these Words! There's more than enough here to uphold you and to keep you and to protect you. Remember that the Lord said your protection comes by staying in that vehicle of the Word. It's not only going to get you to where the Lord wants you, but it's going to protect you and keep you on the way. The Lord said He is so happy with your desperation and your desire to please Him and obey Him, that He has great things in store for you, a wonderful bright path if you'll be willing to give yourself completely to Him and lie in His arms in submission and love and humility.

                251. Honey, your shepherds there really want to help you. You don't have to be afraid to talk to them; they already know what you've experienced and they want to help you get back on track. They'll do everything they can to make it easier for you. Even if you don't have the strength to volunteer to apologize on your own, if you tell them that they can call on you, they'll be happy to, and that way what you can't do for yourself, they can do for you in helping you to make the first step.

                252. Often when I've known that there was something I couldn't do myself, that I wasn't strong enough to do, I just told the Lord to please push me into it, that I couldn't do it on my own, but I was giving Him leave to force me to do it. That way He wasn't really forcing me, because it was my own choice, but since I couldn't do it myself, He needed to help me and make me do it. I think that will really help you.

                253. Once you make that commitment and start out by faith, the Lord says He's going to give you courage and faith without fear. Just remember to look at Jesus and not the waves, not yourself, not others. Jesus is the One Who is going to pull you through. He's your loving Husband and Savior and Rescuer. He's given His whole life for you, so of course He'll continue to give you everything you need!

                254. I love you, Sweetheart. We all do, and we're all praying for you. I'll sign off with much love, and then let the Lord, Who loves you more than anyone, close this letter with His Words of faith and reassurance. Thanks for coming back to us, Honey. We're so happy you're home once again! Much love, Mama.

I Will Give You Strength and Faith and Courage!

                255. (Prophecy, Jesus speaking:) Fear not, My son, to humble yourself before Me and before your Family, to strip off the garment of pride and to stand naked before Me and before them in humility and brokenness and desperation. For it is in the humbling of yourself that you will be raised up, that My hand will lift you and bear you up, and strengthen and support you. I know that you have not within yourself the courage to do this, but if you call out to Me with a whole heart, I will answer, and I will give you the faith and the courage and the words to speak.

                256. Look not to their faces and fear not their opinions, but look steadfastly into My face, and I will give you courage and strength. Look unto Me and you will be lightened, and your face will not be ashamed. For I will lift you up from the darkness and bring you into My glorious light. But you must fight! You must fight to keep your eyes upon Me, to stay turned towards the light, and let yourself be bathed and cleansed in My marvelous light.

                257. Fear not that others will despise you because of your sins and weaknesses and failures and strayings, or that they will look down upon you when you confess them. They will be touched by your willingness to humble yourself before them, and to strip off the garments of pride and lie before them in nakedness and humility, exposing your heart to them. They will admire you for your love for Me and your desire to forsake that which is not right and those things which you have desired, to get back on the path of My will. They will hold you in esteem for your desperation with Me, for your desire to be what I would have you to be, the man that I want to make you.

                258. It will be a good lesson for My young people, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the Kingdom of God. But it is the desire to yield to My Spirit, the willingness to give one's self wholly to Me and to My will, the laying down of one's self and one's desire to love Me and to please Me and to be a yielded vessel in My hands, willing to do whatever I will and to follow whithersoever I lead.

                259. It is a great lesson to My young people that it is a matter of choice to accept that which I have planned and My will for their lives, and that it is found only in total submission and lack of your own will and the setting aside of your own desires to give yourself wholly unto Me. When you give yourself wholly unto Me without reservation and are willing to follow Me whithersoever I would lead, then will you find that which you seek, and be filled with all the goodness of God, and your desires shall be fulfilled. For the bounties of My blessings come only through the path of yieldedness and obedience to My will, and through your love for Me and for My life-giving Words.

                260. So fear not, My son, to begin your confession, and to humble yourself, and to apologize for your waywardness, to begin upon the path of repentance and walk the way of commitment, as I am calling you to do. Though the steps may seem difficult and fearful at first, with each step you will become lighter as the burdens of pride and self and sin drop from you like weights, and you become free of the burdens which have been weighing upon your soul. In your honesty and your humility and your love and your desperation and yieldedness, you will be set free to fly again as a bird. As you begin to walk down this path of humility and obedience to My will, you will be given the wings of a bird to fly upon the wind of My will!

                261. But it will not be without a fight! For the Enemy of your soul does not relinquish willingly that which he has gained, the inroads he has made into your heart and mind and spirit. He will fight the shedding of the burdens and the weights of sin and darkness with which he would try to suppress you and oppress you. He will not willingly give up that which he has won, and will send in reinforcements to keep from losing ground, his territory, his Huddersfields. For he has been gleeful over his victories, and has thought to take even the prophet's son for his prize in an attempt to defeat the plan of God and to thwart His purpose!

                262. But fear him not, nor his devices! For as you turn and face the light, and fight to keep your face turned to Me and towards the light of My Word, the power and might of My Spirit and the light of My Truth shall overcome him, defeat his evil machinations, and cleanse you of his filth! You have only to fight to keep your eyes upon Me and your face turned ever towards the light of My Truth, following in the path of My will in love and obedience, and his power will be broken and the Evil One will be defeated! But be prepared for a fight, My son, for the Evil One does not give up easily or willingly. He has desired you with great desire; but he will be defeated and his plans will come to naught!

                263. So do not fear, My son, nor hesitate to start on the path of repentance and confession, of love and humility and yieldedness. I will be with you by your side. And in your times of trouble and struggle, come to Me, and I will hold you in My arms and rest your head upon My bosom and give you peace. I will overwhelm you with My Love and warmth, and you shall not fear. I will be with you each step. I will honor your every effort. I will be with you and strengthen you and uphold you with My right hand.

                264. You are a beloved son, a precious instrument in My hand, which I have created for My peculiar purpose. I am happy and pleased with your desperation, and with your desire for Me--to love Me and to please Me and to obey Me. I have great things in store for you, a wonderful plan, a bright path, if you will be willing to give yourself wholly unto Me and lie in My arms in submission and love and humility.

                265. Fear not to take these first steps of humbling yourself and confessing and apologizing, for I will be with you and give you strength and courage! Avail yourself of the help and prayers of those who love you, and those beside you, your shepherds. Do not be afraid to ask for their help and counsel and prayers, for they love you and want to help you. They will support you and be a strong shoulder for you to lean on.

                266. And if you have any specific questions for your situation there and how you should go about it, just ask Me. Ask those there with you to pray with you and to hear from Me about anything you need to know. I will help you, and I will give you the answers that you seek, for I delight in your seeking Me, when you look to Me in faith and expectancy for My help and answers. For as a father delights to give his children gifts, so do I delight to answer your questions and give you all that you need.

                267. Take courage, My son! For as you yield yourself to Me and lie in submission in My arms, I will empower you, and My strength and peace and comfort and love will flow upon you, and you will have courage and faith, without fear. Look not at the waves. Look not at the people. Look not at yourself or your faults or your weaknesses or your condition, nor at the situation. Look only to Me, and receive My Love and forgiveness and mercy and strength, and I will make the way clear before you.

                268. Walk in faith, and receive in faith all that I have to give you--all My Words, the kisses of My Love that I am pouring out to you. Believe and receive and drink them in with a believing heart in full assurance of faith, and they will be life and strength and health to you. They will be a guiding light upon your path to bring you out of the darkness into My light. For My Words are Spirit and Life and Light!

                269. I love you, My son. Remember My unconditional love for you, My waterfall of love that is ever flowing, that is endless, that will fill you and wash you clean. And remember the love of those who love you and pray desperately for you in your time of need, who fight for you in spirit, and be encouraged by their love. For many are the helpers of My son of David, both in this world and the world of the spirit. Wherefore seeing you are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, lay aside every weight and the sin which hath so easily beset you, and run with patience and faith the race that is set before you, looking unto Me, the Lover of your soul, your Husband and Savior and Protector and Guide--your All! (End of prophecy.)

From David to Mama, after receiving Mama's letter to him:

Dear Mom,                                            8/96

                God bless you! Thank you so much for the beautiful prophecies that you sent me. I must say, they were pretty heavy and they took me aback a bit, but I believe that they were really from the Lord, and I was thankful to hear what the Lord and Grandpa had to say to and about me. The Lord always uses so much love and tenderness when He corrects us, and even though it can be a pretty strong reproof sometimes, it doesn't come across as condemning, and He encourages us at the same time.

                In fact, I didn't even feel worthy of the beautiful things that the Lord had to say about me, I think it was harder for me to take the encouragement than the correction and the explanation of my attitudes, as I certainly didn't feel worthy of it at all.

                Some of the points the Lord brought out concerning my behavior I have had to put on my shelf of faith, as I didn't understand them completely. But I've learned that it's important to not let the shelf of faith become a shelf of doubts and unbelief that hurts more than it helps.

                One of the things that stood out to me the most was about the little choices that I have made in my life, the times that I said "no" to the Lord and the things that I knew He wanted me to do and to be like. If we just say "yes" to Jesus, it gets easier and easier to yield to Him, but it also works the other way. The more times we say "no" to Him and rebel against what He wants us to do, the harder it is to yield and get back to the place where He can use us to the full, the way He'd like to, which is what I feel I'm experiencing now.

                I know I have a long way to go, and I often feel so distant from the Lord and like I've failed Him so badly, which I know I have. I'm so thankful that the Lord loves us so much and never gives up on us. I could never deserve the love that the Lord has shown me, no matter how hard I try, but I truly want to please the Lord and I've committed myself to the Family. I believe in it, I believe that the New Wine is from the Lord, I believe that through you the Lord is leading us in the right direction, and I want to be here with my whole heart and follow closely.

                I love you and I'm praying for you!

                Much love,


Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family