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CRISIS OF FAITH!--MORE ON DOUBTS!--Part 3     Maria #363           DO/TS 3090           10/96

--How to Recognize, Fight, and Be Delivered from the Enemy's Doubts!

--By Maria

Dear Family,

                1. I love you! In the third part of this series on doubts you'll learn more about what can make you more susceptible to doubts, and how one doubt can lead to more. You'll also read a letter that Gabe wrote to one of our dear CROs who was in the midst of a severe prolonged battle with doubts. I think you'll find his letter to be very interesting and encouraging.

                2.Please continue to take the time to study this series carefully, as I trust you've done with parts one and two. It makes me so happy to know that, even as busy as you are, as much as possible, you read the Word prayerfully and thoroughly. It's worth the time and effort to do so, because that's where your strength, inspiration and guidance will come from. Praise the Lord!

More Ideas on Where Doubts Come From

                3. You might be the kind of person who has in the past been quite solid in your convictions about the Family and the Word, but now you may be alarmed to find that you're battling with doubts. If this is the case, you probably are quite worried about this, and you're wondering what has happened to you and what you can do about it. I'm sure the prophecies in parts one and two helped to clarify this, and I pray they provided you with some of the answers you need. For your further consideration, I'd like to discuss several other things that the Lord has indicated make people more susceptible to the Enemy's doubts. These points may help you in discovering what has opened the door to doubts in your life.

System Influences

                4.The ministries of some of our Family members present a definite occupational hazard,which is the risk of having your faith undermined with negative System influences. For example, if you are called to do a lot of research with System materials, then in the course of doing your job for the Lord you will probably be required to read, think about and analyze a fair bit of the ideas, standards and propaganda of the world, which can be very detrimental to your spirit if not counterbalanced with the Word.

                5.What can be even more dangerous, however, are the situations of media spokespeople, the brethren who have been involved in prolonged court cases, and those who have been deeply involved in the ministry of reconciliation. Those ministries in particular require you to be exposed to an enormous amount of negative input--from individual grievances and personal hurts to our detractors' most heinous lies--and if this is your full-time ministry, there may be times when you need to spend days, weeks or months studying, analyzing and learning to rebut the Enemy's evil propaganda. Needless to say, many of those who have had these difficult ministries for any length of time have been very seriously wounded. The result of all this input from the System and the Enemy is often doubts!

                6.In some cases, even your day-to-day witnessing can put you in contact with a lot of ungodly attitudes and ideologies, which can be harmful. Everywhere you turn in the System, you're bombarded with ideas, beliefs, conversations, advertisements, etc., that are contrary to God's Word. So even if you're not a media spokesperson, and you're not involved in the ministry of reconciliation and you didn't have much to do with our court cases, you still might find yourself having to ward off attacks of the Enemy as a result of the worldly influences you come in contact with just through your daily witnessing and necessary business in the System.

                7.As I said earlier in the Letter "Faith Cometh by Hearing the Word": "The more input you get from the Enemy, the more input you need from the Lord! Like Dad has always said, words are real things, words are powerful. Regardless of whether they're the Enemy's words or the Lord's Words, they have power. It's not just the Lord's Words that have power; the Enemy's words have power too, and they influence people and sway people.

                8."When you are getting besieged by the words of the Enemy, the more you hear his lies, the more faith you have in them, and then the more doubt you have in God's Truth. On the other hand, the more of the Lord's Truth you get, the more faith you have, because 'faith cometh by hearing the Word' (Rom.10:17).

                9."The more you get negative input and hear the Devil's words without countering them with the Lord's Words, the weaker you are going to become, because you have no power of your own to resist the Devil's doubts. So the only thing that is going to help you to stand strong and give you the faith you need is hearing and dwelling on the Lord's Word. That's the only thing that is going to overcome the doubts that result from hearing the Devil's words. God's Word is the only thing that is going to counteract it." (For more on this, please read the whole Letter, "Faith Cometh by Hearing the Word!--How to Counter the Devil's Lies!" ML #2821, GN 532.)

                10.I want to share a message the Lord gave recently concerning some faithful shepherds who had borne good fruit and cared for the sheep well in the past, but who the Lord said have now gotten "caught in the brambles of misunderstandings, half-truths, critical thoughts, and bitternesses." These dear ones have also battled quite seriously with doubts. I think this particular message will be of interest to many of you, because it not only shows how easy it is to get contaminated by the System, but again the Lord emphasizes the importance of the Word! As you read this message, see if you can relate to it.

                11.(Jesus speaking:) These have lost their simplicity and the joy of their Salvation, and have become weighted down with the cares of this life. They have lost their love for My Word, and when they read it, it is work; it is no longer pleasure. They no longer sit at My feet and find great joy at hearing My Word, but now they labor and they are burdened when they read My Word, because they have become confused.

                12.They have drunk of many fountains and their sense of judgment now is askew. They have taken into their heart and mind the waters from many fountains--not just the clear, pure, refreshing, strengthening water of the fountain of My Word, but also the brackish water from academics and other religions, from politicians, lawyers and professionals, and even the poisonous waters from backsliders and weak sheep who speak the words of the Enemy and his doubts and condemnation.

                13.Both of these, My shepherds, have a thirst for knowledge, and when they talk to someone [from the System] who they admire, who they feel has a lot on the ball, who they feel has a lot to offer, or if they read something [from the System] that is interesting, then they open their minds and their spirits to it, and they allow themselves to be fed from these waters, even though they are not the clear, pure waters of My Word. They take in these waters, the brackish ones and the poisonous ones, and they feed from them. They have become weakened and dirtied and distracted, because they have drunk deeply from many fountains.

                14.They have admired greatly those who do not deserve such admiration, and they have allowed the thoughts and words and principles of those ones to become their own thoughts and words and principles. So it is that those of the outside have had great influence on the hearts and minds of these, My children.

                15.Because they did not aggressively wash their hearts and minds with My Word, and constantly check the input they were receiving against My Word, they became dull in their understanding. Their wits were no longer quick and sharp, and their discernment was weakened. So now they have lost their childlike faith. Their once great loyalty and simplicity has been replaced with skepticism, criticalness and high-mindedness.

                16.They have read much and heard much and taken in much from the outside, but they have not balanced all that input with the clear, refreshing, cleansing water of My Word. So now they are off-center, and it has sapped them of their strength and their happiness and their peace of mind.

                17.They think that the confusion they now feel is the fault of the Family, or the leadership, or the Word, or the mode of operation, or the Homes, or their immediate shepherds. They do not realize that these feelings of dissatisfaction and discontent are merely symptoms of a greater, more serious disease, and that is that they are no longer looking through the glasses of faith. They are no longer judging righteous judgment, but they are judging with a false standard.

                18.They want to be strong and powerful and to have influence. They want to be as those they have seen on the outside, who in their eyes are strong, aggressive, assertive, independent, getting things done left and right, and exercising their individuality. They are dissatisfied with their present place of service. Instead of seeing it as My hand in their lives, to teach them and mold them and break them and remake them, they blame others. They blame the "system" within the Family. They blame their leadership. They even blame the Word.

                19.I will restore health unto them. I will heal them of their wounds, their broken spirits, their confusion, their wrong perspective, their doubts, if they will come to Me and My Word, and receive the truth that I would give unto them. But they must be willing to forsake their own thoughts, and give up the brackish and polluted waters that they have drunk deeply of, in order to allow the pure water of My Word to flow freely through them. (End of prophecy excerpts.)

                20. (Mama:) Many of you are in positions where you have a lot of contact with outsiders through your witnessing, provisioning, follow-up, consider the poor ministries, etc. You spend a lot of time talking to people, and listening to them. And some of you, depending on your ministry, are like the shepherds the Lord spoke of in the above prophecy whose ministry required that they have quite a bit of contact with academics, lawyers, politicians, people from other religions, former members, etc. In the course of your work for the Lord, you are all exposed to worldly opinions, ideologies, doctrines, etc., to varying degrees. This is inevitable. This is not necessarily dangerous to your spiritual health unless you fail to counter this influence with the Word, and instead you allow yourself to become fascinated by these outside influences to the point that you open yourself up to them and drink in their thoughts and ideas, and allow them to become your own.

                21.I think this is especially a temptation when you're around professionals who are quite successful. It's easy to kind of stand in awe when you're around people who are successful, fast-moving and quick-thinking--the "mover and shaker" types who are powerful in the ways of the world and very respected by their peers or associates. You see them calling the shots and making things happen, so you feel a little intimidated around them. It's easy in such a case to take the low seat and let them feed you, so to speak.

                22.Apparently, this is what happened to the dear ones that the above prophecy was given for. They were hungry for knowledge, so instead of seeking Godly knowledge in the Word as much as they should have, whenever they'd talk to outsiders who had something to say, or whenever they read any System material that was interesting, they'd open their minds and spirits to it. They drank of what the Lord called "brackish and poisonous waters," which weakened them spiritually.

                23.The Lord again talked of the importance of the Word. Because these brethren didn't aggressively wash their hearts and minds with the Word and constantly check the input they were receiving against the Word, they ran into serious trouble. The prophecy said they became dull in their understanding; their wits were no longer quick and sharp; their discernment was weakened; they lost their childlike faith; their loyalty and simplicity was replaced with skepticism, criticalness and high-mindedness; and they lost their strength, happiness and peace of mind. That's quite a negative downhill chain reaction!

                24.But then do you see what all this leads to? When they lost faith, they got confused, and then started placing the blame on everything and everyone else, rather than recognizing that their problems were caused by their own lack of staying close to the Lord through the Word! You see, it's all tied together. If you take in ungodly influences and you don't wash your heart and mind with the Word, then before long you become deceived and you start blaming others, or your leadership, or the Family, or even the Word. That's what the Devil wants! That's his ultimate goal --he's trying to get you to doubt!

                25.But the key, the solution, is in going to the Word! Are you suffering from the negative effects of this type of System influence? Have you drunk deeply of worldly wisdom, outlooks, and values to the point that you're now confused and doubting and blaming the Family, the Lord, the Word, WS or Peter and me for your problems? The Lord promises that He will heal you and deliver you from your confusion, wrong perspective, and doubts if you'll go to Him and His Word. But you must be willing to forsake your own thoughts and give up the brackish and polluted waters of the System, in order to allow the pure water of the Word to flow freely through you.

                26.Along the same lines, not too long ago we were praying for someone who had to do a lot of research for the Family. That was part of his important ministry. The Lord said that when doing the research, this person was laying down his life for his brethren, and using his mind in the matters of man for the sake and the benefit of His children. It was important work that needed to be done. But He also warned about the dangers, saying:

                27.(Jesus speaking:) In absorbing the words of man there is a channel that is opened to the voice of the Evil One. These words of man, though necessary for the furtherance of My work, allow this channel to be opened; and this channel must be closed.

                28.How do you close the channel of the Evil One?--You raise up the standard of My Word! This one must abide in My Word, must believe in My Word, must absorb My Word, to close the channel and stop the voice of the Destroyer. For My Words lift, My Words strengthen, My Words are the foundation. Only by absorbing My Words can you absorb the words of man without opening this channel of the voice of the Destroyer of your soul. So abide in My Words. Believe in My Words. Do My Word. Live My Word. (End of prophecy excerpt.)

The Danger of Bitterness

                29.After reading communications from people who are battling heavily with doubts, I began to wonder how much of a role bitterness plays in people being open to the Enemy's attacks of doubts. I asked the Lord to speak to us on this and He gave the following message:

                30.(Jesus speaking:) Watch the garden of your heart; never let the evil start. You must watch diligently and faithfully the garden of your heart and mind, for anything that is not yielded to Me becomes a potential opening for the influences and thoughts and evil seeds of the Devil. When you are bitter, I cannot offer you full protection. When you are bitter, you cannot fully raise a standard against the Enemy and his attacks. When you are bitter, you become hardened to My voice and to the checks of My Spirit, because bitterness is the result of pride and unyieldedness and lack of forgiveness.

                31.The longer you entertain bitterness, the more influence it has over your heart and mind and spirit. Those who are bitter are those who have not heard and received and acted upon My still, small voice when I said unto them, "Forgive! Forgive and forget." Those who are bitter often do not want to forgive and forget, because they feel that they are right, and they have been wronged, and therefore they deserve to make a case for their bitterness and to see those who have hurt them suffer. They desire to see those who have hurt them punished.

                32.Bitterness equals pride. Bitterness equals unyieldedness. Bitterness equals lack of forgiveness. Bitterness is a sin. It is wrong, and it can separate you from Me and My blessing and My protection. Those who entertain bitterness cut themselves off from the flow of My Spirit.

                33.Bitterness is like a slow poison that weakens and kills slowly but surely, day by day. Those who are bitter are not just bitter against those who have wronged them, but they are also bitter against Me, because I allowed it to happen. They feel that I failed, that I was unjust, that I turned My back on them when I allowed something so horrible, so unfair to befall them when they were so undeserving of such treatment. Bitterness not only builds a wall between the person who is bitter and the person they feel has wronged them, but it also builds a wall between the bitter person and Me. Bitterness is the result of lack of faith, lack of trust, thinking you know better, self-righteously wanting to judge and rule and cause the other person to suffer as you have suffered.

                34.These attitudes of heart and mind do not bring Me closer, and do not cause My Spirit to reign freely in your life. They do not cause you to draw nigh unto Me, that I might draw nigh unto you, but instead it has the opposite effect. It causes you to be distant, unbelieving, and it quenches the flow of your love towards Me. It causes you to be closed and hard and resistant toward the flow of My Love toward you.

                35.If bitterness is allowed to follow its course, it will only make you weaker and weaker and weaker. With time, your heart and mind will be more receptive to the doubts of the Enemy, for bitterness is like a plow that plows up the soil of your heart and prepares it for the seeds of the Enemy's evil doubts. Just as My penis plows up the earth of your heart to prepare you for My seeds, that they might take root deep in your heart and life, so does bitterness plow up the earth of your heart to prepare you to receive the seeds of the Evil One--his doubts and lies and fears. So what would you rather have?--The plow of My penis preparing you for My seeds?--Or the Devil's plow of bitterness preparing you for his seeds?

                36.Forgive now, that you might find freedom from the Devil's devices! Bitterness is born in pride. For when you are bitter, you feel that you know better than God, that if you had been God, you never would have allowed it. Things would be different, things would be better.

                37.Bitterness is akin to doubt, because those who doubt also feel that they know better--they know better than their shepherds, they know better than their king and queen, they know better than God, and if they could do things differently, they would do them better. So beware of bitterness! (End of prophecy.)

                38.(Mama:) That message certainly makes the dangers of bitterness very clear. Are you bitter? Why don't you stop for a moment and check your heart. What is your attitude towards your shepherds (both past and present), your parents, your husband or wife, your teamworkers, your friends? What is your attitude toward your former mate, or the person you're jealous of, or the one you compare with, or the guy or girl who recently broke your heart? Have you forgiven and forgotten anything that hurt you or offended you?

                39.Please don't let bitterness seep into your soul, stealing your strength and sensitivity to the Spirit, which you need to be able to resist the attacks of the Enemy. If you allow yourself to become bitter, then the Lord won't be able to protect you as fully as He'd like. It'll be like trying to fight a war with a huge weight on your shoulders. You'll become weaker and weaker and weaker, and with time you'll become more receptive to the doubts of the Enemy. Get rid of bitterness and let the Lord set you free!

One Doubt Leads to More

                40.I want to warn you that one doubt can lead to more. As I said before, the Enemy goes about as a roaring lion. He has determined to do everything in his power to try to get you to doubt the written Word, the Lord's living Word for today (the prophecies), and the anointing and wisdom He has given Peter and me. There's a tremendous battle going on, so please, when you have questions or when you're tempted by the Enemy to doubt, go to the Word or the Lord for answers, or go to your shepherds and elders and those who are anointed with wisdom to give you the answers. And once you hear, see and understand the answers, receive them, believe them, drink them in, and let them take the place of your questions or the temptation to doubt. If you'll do this, you'll find strength. You'll be able to make progress. You'll be able to stay open to the New Wine and have a clear connection with the Lord.

                41.But when you reject the answers that you read in the written Word or hear in the Lord's living Words for today, or you reject the answers you receive from your shepherds and elders, then the truth can't replace the question or the temptation to doubt. The truth can't take hold in your heart and make you strong. Then your heart becomes open ground, receptive and fertile for the seeds of the Enemy.

                42.When you resist the truth and the answers in one area of your life, you open yourself up to the doubts of the Enemy. And as those seeds of doubt spring up in your heart and take root, they condition the ground around them, so that it too becomes receptive, soft, easy ground to receive the seeds of the Enemy. So what happens is one doubt gives way to another, and to another, and to another.

                43.So you see, questions are not dangerous in themselves. The danger lies in either not seeking the answers to those questions--by not going to the Word, or to the Lord for His fresh Word for today, or to your shepherds--or by refusing to receive the answer when you do get it. So if you have questions or the temptation to doubt, you must actively seek the answers to those questions. And equally as important, you must also be willing to receive, believe and accept the answers, and let them replace the questions or the temptation to doubt. Otherwise the latter end will be worse than the former, and where there was once a legitimate question or a temptation to doubt, a stronghold of the Enemy will spring up in your heart and mind in the form of a doubt that will eat away your faith, your foundation, your confidence, and your peace.

                44.Each time you allow a doubt to take root in your heart, you become weaker and more receptive to the next temptation to doubt. And if again you don't actively seek the answers, the truth, or you don't believe or receive it when you find it, then the Enemy will have gained yet another foothold in your heart. So if you allow yourself to doubt in one area, it becomes easier to doubt in other areas, and it becomes a chain reaction, step by step making you weaker and more confused, more critical, and less sensitive to the voice of the Lord's Spirit.

                45.I'm sorry to say that Peter and I have seen this happen to some brethren. We have seen examples of Family members who may have started out with legitimate questions, but they rejected the truth, the answers to those questions, and as a result they became weaker and more confused! The Lord said:

                46. (Jesus speaking:) The secret is to ask, receive and believe. Ask Me, ask the Word, ask your shepherds, and receive the answers to your questions with open-mindedness and faith. Believe those answers by drinking them in, taking them in, and letting them replace the questions or the temptation to doubt.

                47.Remember, I am your Answer Man. I have the answers that you seek and need, but I cannot help you if you refuse to receive them and believe them. Ask what you will and I will answer, but it is up to you to believe and receive My answers. Those who ask and who are hungry to receive and believe My answers will grow and prosper and be strengthened. But those who ask, but are skeptical, unbelieving, and refuse to accept My answers, and go on asking and asking and asking the same questions, will not be strengthened. Instead, they will find that they have yet more questions and more questions. And pretty soon those questions are no longer questions, but they are doubts that will weaken them and eventually destroy them.

                48.I am doing all I can to answer your questions through My written Word, the voice of My Word, and by speaking with My still, small voice to your heart and mind. My king and queen are doing all they can to answer your questions, pouring forth My Words as quickly and abundantly as they possibly can. And even your shepherds and elders and parents are doing what they can to answer your questions. But it is up to you to receive and believe. If you refuse to receive and believe, if you reject the answers and the truth, then there is nothing more that I can do, nor that My king and queen can do, nor that your elders can do to answer your questions. It is up to you to take, eat, receive and believe that which is given unto you of the truth. (End of prophecy excerpt.)

Letter from Gabe

                49. If you're feeling rattled, discouraged or under condemnationafter realizing that you haven't had the faith you should've had or would've liked to have had, I think this next topic will be of great interest to you. I am enclosing here a letter Gabe wrote last year to one of our dear CROs who was fighting severe battles with doubts. It is followed by excerpts of the messages of love and encouragement that the Lord gave for him. (By the way, the person who received this letter from Gabe is now healed of these horrific battles! After humbly confessing his sins, he went to the Word and persevered in his determination to fight, until he won the victory over the Devil's vicious attacks! Praise the Lord!)

Dear Brother,

                50. God bless you! My name is Gabe and I have been on the Folks' staff for 14 years now, for which I'm very thankful. I'm very fulfilled, very happy and challenged with the job that the Lord has given me to do. It hasn't always been easy, and there have been lots of battles and lots of tests throughout my time here, but nevertheless, I'm very thankful for how the Lord has helped me through these tests and battles.

                51. Although I haven't met you in person, I've seen many pictures of you and have seen you on video. Probably the greatest thing that I remember about you is what Mama's secretary told me about you. (She met you when traveling with Peter when they passed through the city where you were living.) She said, "One thing that impressed me about him was that he has a real shepherd's heart. He has a real love for the sheep." Whenever I think of you, that's what I think about. I think it's so very sweet and so very special that the Lord has given you that tender shepherd's heart.

                52. I have heard about some of your recent battles, and I am not surprised at all, as the Lord promised that, "as many as I love, I rebuke and chasten," and "any branch that bears fruit, He purges it, that it may bring forth more fruit." I know the battles that you're having are all part of the Lord's plan to bring you closer to Him and to enable you to be more of a help, comfort and encouragement to others. I have faith that the Lord is going to help you get victories over these battles and tests that you're having, because a lot of the battles and tests you're experiencing are the same ones that I went through.

                53. Believe me, I understand what pain and heartache and depths of despair those kinds of attacks of the Enemy can cause you to go through. I wish that living close to Dad and Mama, and personally seeing and experiencing their love for the Lord and the lost and His Family, would prevent us from going through serious spiritual battles of this kind. But unfortunately the Devil is the same everywhere and he uses the same lies and bag of tricks, and tries to get us all off the wall and to destroy our usefulness for Him.

                54. I was very close to Dad and loved him very, very much. One thing that I've had to learn since his graduation is to forsake the past and the old, and let go of my preconceived ideas of what I thought the Family and the Revolution would be like after Dad graduated. Of course the Family is different today than it was yesterday, and that is part of the Lord's plan to keep us revolutionary, to keep us changing, to keep us separate from the System, and to enable us to grow and make the progress the Lord wants us to make. But for me personally, to go on in the capacity that the Lord wanted me to, I had to re-dedicate and re-commit myself to the Family all over again. I had to completely forsake my thoughts and ways and preconceived ideas of what direction I thought the Revolution and the Family should be going.

                55. I didn't question that I would help to take care of Mama after Dad graduated. But all of a sudden I was faced with the fact that new things were happening all around me. The Lord was leading Mama in directions that I had not expected, which shattered the frame of reference that I had built up in my mind of how I thought things would be after Dad graduated. It was a battle for me because I thought things should be one way and they were instead going a different way. I started to have doubts, wondering if Mama was doing the right thing; was she headed in the right direction, was she getting tripped off? I really had a wrestling match with the Devil over it, and I became quite critical about things, thinking that I knew the way things should be, but for some reason Mama didn't!

                56. It was a battle royal for me, but by the Lord's grace, He pulled me through and showed me that I was wrong. I was so set in my preconceived ideas that I wasn't open for the change that the Lord, not Mama, was bringing about. She was just His vessel for the changes He wanted to bring forth. I was a very old bottle, very stuck in a rut, very set in my own mind about how things should be, how I wanted them to be, and thus I wasn't open for the moving of the Spirit.

                57. I had to make a decision of faith that I was going to accept that Mama is the one God chose to take on Dad's mantle; that as Dad was to us, so is Mama. I didn't have such horrendous battles when the Lord led Dad to make changes, but here I was struggling when He led Mama to make changes. The reason I didn't battle with Dad making changes is because I had faith that Dad was God's prophet. Well, I had to decide if I believed that his mantle has passed on to Mama. I had to decide if I believed what Dad said over the years, that Mama was chosen by the Lord to lead the Family after his Homegoing. Once I realized that this was the crux of the matter, and that I was just being a brittle old bottle that was unwilling to change, I made the decision of faith to follow Mama's leadership, her leadings, and accept her unwavering faith in the gift of prophecy.

                58. I think it's wonderful how the Lord has led her to use the gift of prophecy to get His directions. Sure, it's different, but just because it's different, is it wrong? Is it bad? Our whole Family and all that Dad taught us is different. Not only is Mama using prophecy to help her find the Lord's will, she's also encouraging its use so that those in the Homes can use it for local direction and for the encouragement of individuals.

                59. Dad has taught us over and over about the importance of hearing from the Lord fresh every day, and I see that Jesus, through Mama, is trying to institute that by encouraging the use of prophecy more than it has been used in the past. When you get past the change aspect of it and grasp that the Lord is trying to help shepherd the Homes, areas and individuals more directly, you see how beneficial it can be. Just imagine, not only individuals but Homes and whole areas can hear from the Lord and get direction, leadings, guidance and inspiration personally, and not be so completely dependent on the top, which is the whole point of the Charter.

                60. Dad has taught us that if the Family is going to continue to be a Revolution, it's going to have to continue having regular revolutions. So should it be so surprising to us that with Mama stepping into the driver's seat we'd continue to have changes? Now that I think about it, I should have been ready for it, because that's just how Dad was. He changed things, he moved when God said to move, he continually revoluted. So why should it be different with Mama?

                61. Until I was willing to take that step of faith and accept the New Wine, new counsel and new ways of doing things, I didn't have peace of mind, rest of spirit, and freedom from inner turmoil. There's a quote that says, "Delusion must be destroyed to build a firm foundation of truth." Because the Lord is continually moving and changing and doing new things, we have to keep forsaking the old so that we can receive the new things the Lord has for us.

                62. Another thing that I wanted to share with you is something that may be difficult to perceive and understand at a distance. I can be very honest and open with Mama and Peter about the very worst doubts and problems I have, and then see them a few minutes later and realize that even though they heard me confess what I thought were such big problems, they still love me and have faith in me! They didn't lose faith in me. They didn't stop trusting me. They knew it was just the Enemy trying to attack me. They prayed for me, but I never felt any condemnation or a lack of them having faith in me as a result of my being completely honest and open.

                63. I know this is something that you have to believe and accept by faith, but I'm just trying to assure you that some of the questions and confusion you have now are the same kind of things that I have had. I'm just so very thankful to be delivered. But it did take a really big step of faith, and a real forsaking of my own thoughts and ways. Letters that have helped me are "Old Bottles" and "Grace vs. Law," and also just a fresh reconnection with Jesus by reading many Meditation Moments, and Bible praises and promises. Through His Word my faith is being strengthened.

                64. You have a lot of people here in our Home praying for you and fighting for you at this time--people that love you very dearly, who have never met you, but who know your love and loyalty to the Lord and the Family. I want you to know that I feel very close to you and I pray for you. I know you're going to get a victory, because a lot of the things that you are going through are things that I have gone through, and the Lord has helped to see me through.

                65. We will continue to pray for you as long as you need our prayers. We are veteran warriors of the faith who have been through many, many battles. We have lots of battle wounds and scars, but thanks to the Lord and His strength, we have lots of fight left in us.

                Your brother in Christ,


                P.S. Here is a prophecy we received for you:

                66.(Jesus speaking:) Whosoever shall call upon the Name of the Lord shall be saved. Everyone must have their time of testing, their time of trial, to see what they are made of. Sometimes you may be tested together with another. But there are times when you must have a Gethsemane to stand on your own before Me, without the help or the crutches of others but in your own faith, to see what it is made of, so that you also may see and know.

                67.Gethsemanes are gateways. They are not deaths, they are doorways to new beginnings. And as every man must stand alone before Me in the final Judgment, so there are times in this life when you must stand before Me in testings, to take stock of things, to get ahold of Me, to look into My face--not resting in the faith or in the love of others, but only in My Love.

                68.You are My beloved and great is My Love for you! Great is My tenderness towards you. Great is My compassion towards you. Great are My thoughts towards you. Great is My desire towards you. I know your every thought. I feel your every feeling and am touched with every sorrow and grief and tribulation of your heart, as if it were My Own.

                69.The fiery pit that you find yourself in is not the end. Though it may seem like the jaws of Hell are closing in about you, though it seems like the depths of Hell and unbearable anguish, when you look up to call upon Me, this volcano that you are in, this tumult of lava and steam and fiery bubbling pit of flame can erupt in great victory, catapulting you into the heavenlies! What the Enemy would try to use to swallow you up--the fires of this great volcano--I can use to catapult you to heights you have never known! For the greater the test, the greater the victory! The greater the temptation, the greater the testimony! The greater the seeming defeat, the greater the miracle! From the greatest despair comes the greatest hope! From the darkest night come the brightest days!

                70.Fight the good fight of faith! Keep fighting! Hold on! Don't quit! No matter how dark the night, no matter how long the tunnel, no matter how serious the battle, keep fighting! Keep holding on! Keep trusting, and there will be a victory. There will be a surcease from the pain and from the battle and from the struggle, if you'll just keep holding on. Be like John Paul Jones, who when all seemed lost and when it seemed he was destined to lose the battle, didn't quit, but said, "Hell no! We haven't even begun to fight yet!" For it is a fighting spirit that sustains a man.

                71. Satan has desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat! But I have prayed for you, and your king and queen and loved ones have prayed for you, that your faith fail not. And your faith will not fail if you just keep fighting. With your last breath, keep praising, keep trusting, and keep holding on!

                72.For there will be a reward. There will be a rainbow after the storm. There will be a greater anointing, a greater understanding, and your questions will be answered. Your pain will cease, and there will be a brighter day after you cross over the Jordan. So keep holding on and trusting and fighting, even when you feel you have no strength, even when you feel completely empty and wasted and useless in yourself. When you feel there is no hope, that you've gone too far, that you've sinned too badly, that you're such a mess, that there's no hope, rebuke these thoughts, resist them, and just keep holding on.

                73.No matter how weak you feel, no matter how confused, no matter how wicked and sinful you feel, My power is present to save and to heal and to deliver. So do not cast away your confidence, but raise a standard against the Enemy. For these battles and these doubts are not because there is anything wrong with Me or My Word or My Family, but it is because the Enemy himself is buffeting you. It is the Enemy that is testing you and trying you and attempting to defeat you and drive you insane with his lies and his confusion and his attacks, because you are so valuable in My Kingdom. For this reason the Enemy is furious and fighting for your very future and your life in the Kingdom and your place of service.

                74.You must see that it is not because of any fault in Me or in My work or the direction that I am leading. It is because you are being attacked by the Enemy. He is the culprit! Therefore raise a standard against him and fight--even if the only way you can fight is to run to My arms, to rest in My arms, to trust Me with your last breath, to use the tiniest bit of strength that you have to call out to Me! Even in doing this you are fighting the Enemy.

                75.You cannot fight in your own mind and try to figure things out and reason them out. You can only fight him by calling on Me in prayer and coming to Me and finding your strength in Me. As you do this, I will deliver you. I will raise a standard against the Enemy. I will defeat this attack on your life and your service for Me. I will give you grace. I will lead you to the still waters and to the green pastures so you will find strength to your soul, renewal to your mind, and a new lease on life.

                76.So keep fighting! Hold on! Don't give up! No matter how dark the night, no matter how difficult the battle, no matter how hopeless the outlook, keep holding on, knowing that I love you and I will never lead you astray. I will never forsake you. There is no sin too evil for My forgiveness. There is no mistake too great for My forgiveness. There is no wrongdoing so terrible it cannot be covered by My forgiveness.

                77.So keep holding on! Keep fighting! The victory is just around the corner and worth fighting for! So hang on and you won't be disappointed! (End of excerpts of prophecies.)

Jesus Is Waiting with Open Arms!

                78.(Mama:) I hope the sympathy and understanding that Gabe shows in the above letter to one of our top officers and the unconditional love that the Lord demonstrates in His Words helps you to understand that if you're battling doubts, it's not something that you should hide or be ashamed of. It's the Enemy's attack, and the Lord, Peter and I are not going to hold it against you. So please don't be afraid to get help! Confess your battles so you can receive the prayer, counsel, answers and support you need! You have to be honest if you want to find freedom from doubt and defeat these horrible attacks that you're suffering. Please don't be afraid to humble yourself and ask for help.

                79.On this subject, the Lord said the following. This message was originally given for the CRO mentioned above, but it is also for you!

                80.(Jesus speaking:) Despise not the breaking. Despise not the humbling. Only come forth clean, in all honesty and humility. Worry not about the future, for the future is in My hands. Only receive My peace and rest and contentment, which I want to give you as you expose and let go of the lies of the Evil One. Fear not to be open and honest, for this is what I am trying to teach you--honesty, humility, love, and to acknowledge that you are nothing and can do nothing. In acknowledging your sins, and in acknowledging your weaknesses, and in acknowledging your doubts, you gain My humility and learn the precious lessons I have for you. Fear not man, but only fear Me. I will see you through, as you continue to reach forth with hands of faith, receiving the blessings that I have for you.

                81.Do not be afraid to come to Me, for all that come to Me I will in no wise cast out. I have no harsh words for you. I have no rebuke. I do not condemn you or look down upon you. So be not afraid or worried to come to Me. I have gifts for you that await your coming. I have treasures of My Love. I have cleansing power from My Spirit. I have the soothing balm of peace that I wish to anoint your forehead with. I have the restoring blessing of sleep that I wish to touch you with. I have the inner calm of trust that I wish to place around your shoulders as a garment of protection to protect you from the evil darts of the Enemy. I have jewels from My Word that I wish to present before you. (End of prophecy excerpts.)

                82.(Mama:) Jesus has all these gifts for you, too, if you'll just turn to Him. He's waiting with arms outstretched, to give you freedom, deliverance, peace of mind, and all the choicest blessings from His hand, if you'll just reach out and receive and believe!

                83.Remember, the formula for victory is the same, regardless of what your specific doubts are or how long you've battled them. To find freedom from doubt, you must:

                 Recognize the Devil's attacks on your life and future service for the Lord.

                 Call out to Jesus for deliverance.

                 Go to the Word for strength. Drink deeply of the pure water of the Word every day!

                 Go to your shepherds, parents or elders for help, counsel and answers to your questions.

                 Go to the Lord in prayer, asking Him to speak to you through prophecy to give you the specific, personalized answers you need.

                 Believe and receive the answers the Lord gives you, either through the written Word, or your shepherds, or His personal Heavenly counsel. Let the truth replace your doubts.

                 Resist System influences that undermine your faith in the Word.

                 Ask for deliverance from any bitterness.

                84.My precious ones, my dearest Family, I pray you will find in these Words, these treasures from the Lord,the ammunition you need to defeat the Enemy's attacks of doubts! We have great power in the truth! We have great deliverance in Jesus! He is the Victor, the Conqueror, the King of the universe, and when the Enemy comes in like a flood, He is able to raise a standard against him. But you must learn to avail yourselves of that power. You need it, because the Enemy is playing for keeps, and as Dad recently said, we are his greatest enemy on Earth. He'll fight us, the children of David, more than anyone, because we are the Lord's avant-garde, His Endtime revolutionary army, His prophets giving His message as no others are willing to give it.

                85.If the Enemy has upped the ante in his attacks against us, so have we upped the ante in our resistance against him! We have raised a standard against him, but we must continue fighting. Now that the battles are stronger and more dangerous and with greater risks, we as His soldiers must be willing to train harder, to work out more, to sacrifice and discipline ourselves more. And we do that by doing everything within our power to stay close to the Lord, know His Word and His ways, and obey Him no matter what the cost. Then He will give us renewed strength and the powerful new weapons we need to win the battles!

                86.I love you, my dear ones, and I can't tell you how much I respect and admire you for your willingness to be what Jesus wants you to be. Peter and I feel so blessed, so privileged, so honored to, along with Dad, lead the Lord's Endtime special troops. Jesus is our Commander in Chief, and as we follow Him in love and obedience and humility, wielding the weapon of the Word, we will defeat all the attacks of the Evil One, including his attacks of doubts. Greater is He, Jesus, Who is in us, than he that is in the world, the Enemy. We shall overcome; we shall be victorious; and no weapon that is formed against us, including the lies and doubts of the Enemy, shall prosper!

                87.Praise the Lord! God bless you and keep you close to Him and continually, diligently seeking His Word and His will. I love you!

                Love, Mama

Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family