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Living the Lord's Law of Love!--Pt.5 Maria #451 CM 3205 3/98
More counsel and guidelines for our second generation (age 16 and up), but applicable to older adults as well
Required Reading. For Voting Members Only
Table of Contents
Romantic feelings versus the Lord's will in marriage 1
What about missing your soul mate? 4
A few exceptions when the Lord would not require marriage 5
Hearing from the Lord for personal situations 7
What about earlier separations and fatherless children? 9
How to practice real love--a YA speaks out! 11
The dangers of going overboard 13
Your responsibility to live the Law of Love in all your daily activities 15
Your responsibility to love without partiality15
Your responsibility to have Word-based attitudes 17
Your responsibility to share even when you have someone special in your life 21
Review of responsibilities as put forth in Parts 4 & 5 22
The Lord's commission to the children of David 24
1. Thank you, dear young people, for being open-minded and receptive to the Lord's Word as you read this series. In this GN I'll continue to speak to you directly, covering some topics that I think you'll find very interesting, such as: counsel on marrying when you're not "in love," finding your "soul mate," when the Lord might lead you not to marry even though you have a child with someone, hearing from the Lord about personal situations, single FGA moms and their children, and more on your responsibilities when living the Law of Love. (Older adults, even though I'll speak mostly to the young people in this GN, this counsel applies to you FGAs as well, so please do give it your full attention! Thanks!)
Romantic Feelings Versus the Lord's Will in Marriage
2.One of the thoughts that's probably racing through your mind after reading some of this recent counsel is, "How could I possibly marry someone I'm not in love with?" The idea of marrying someone for the sake of your child, on the strength of the Lord's will and His leading through prophecy and the other ways to know His will, might seem like very risky business to you. Marrying someone you're not in love with might seem like the quickest way to ruin your life! But please don't get upset or toss the idea out altogether!
3.There have been many very fruitful, happy marriages in the Family of people who were not in love at the time they got married. In some cases the in-love feelings came later. In other cases they remained very good friends--best friends, in fact--for many years of marriage. I asked the Lord to tell us how it could be His will for some of you young people to marry someone you don't have romantic feelings for. Here is His counsel:
4.(Jesus speaking:) It's better to be in My will without romantic feelings than to be out of My will with romantic feelings. You can choose to marry someone you're very romantically attracted to at the moment, but if it's My will for you to marry another one who you aren't as romantically attracted to, then you might find that those romantic feelings towards the one you're attracted to change later on down the line and you're stuck in a marriage that isn't My will. But if you hear My voice and feel My Spirit urging you to marry the one that you don't personally feel as romantically attracted to at the moment, you might find that later on I will bring the romantic feelings and attractions into the marriage of My will.
5.Whenever you're in My will, I'm able to give you all the blessings that you need, whether it be romantic feelings, passion, closeness, understanding--anything that you need. But when you're out of My will and just following after your madly-in-love feelings, you might find that all those madly-in-love feelings fall apart and are no longer there, and then you'll wish you'd made My choice instead.
6.So how are you supposed to know the difference and who I'm calling you to be with? How can you know if you can't rely on your feelings? You can know by My voice of prophecy, by letting Me speak, by letting Me show you My will and what I want and where I'm leading. You can know by putting your personal feelings aside and asking Me for My will.
7.I know the future and what lies ahead, what you will need and who you will need, and most of all, how I want to use you to accomplish My purpose. So trust in Me and let Me speak and give you the answer and the leading of My Spirit and My perfect will.
8.If you step out to do My will, putting your own desires for romance and feelings of love in the background, I promise to repay. As you do My will, I will do unto you what you desire. I will give you a greater love in your heart than you would have had were you out of My will.
9.For you who marry within My will even though you don't have romantic or in-love feelings, I will bless you with love and happiness, as long as you are yielded and willing to learn and to become the mate to the other person that I want you to be. I will honor, bless and reward your yieldedness and your willingness to do My will, but I will not necessarily reward in the same way in all relationships. I will give people what they appreciate and what will benefit them, their marriage, their ministry, and their children the most.
10.No, it will not be romance and in-love feelings in all situations. In some cases, yes, but not in all. In other cases it will be deep friendship and companionship; it will be a very good and rewarding working relationship. But it will not always be the "knight in shining armor and the princess" relationship that some young people fantasize about. (End of message from Jesus.)
11.(Mama:) This overemphasis on romantic feelings is a prime example of how man's ways are not God's ways. Sometimes our priorities and the standard by which we measure such things as love relationships and marriage are out of whack due to expectations and preconceived ideas that are based largely on System influences and worldly values. The romance and marriage relationships portrayed in today's movies are unrealistic, and if you dwell on those images and have that as your goal, you're likely to be disappointed--or worse yet, to miss the Lord's will altogether.
12.I know this idea of marrying someone you're not in love with is a hard saying--a very hard saying. I admit it takes great faith! Everyone wants to be in love. Everyone wants to find the man or woman of their dreams. But what you need to be willing to do is to put those dreams in the Lord's hands and trust that He's able to give you in return exactly what He knows will be best for you, and what will make you happy and most useful to His Kingdom, even if it's not what you expected.
13.If you hardly get along with the person you created a child with, you might feel that the hope of having a happy marriage together is practically nil. Perhaps when you started having dates you got along fine or were even attracted to each other, but since that time something has gone sour in your relationship. Maybe now there's terrible familiarity; you feel you're hardly even friends, much less lovers; you don't get along or aren't sexually attracted to each other, so you might think the idea of marriage is absurd, impossible, that you'd be headed for sure disaster! I know that sort of thinking sounds pretty valid, pretty legitimate. It seems it could be miserable to be married to someone you not only aren't in love with, but hardly even like.
14.But on the other hand, I know the Lord can do miracles. Couldn't He change all that, if it were His will, for the sake of the child? The Lord can do anything, so is it a matter of faith? Can trusting the Lord even change a very rough personal relationship in which you can hardly stand the other person, you don't want to make love to him or her, or you feel you have nothing in common? Can the Lord make such a relationship enjoyable, pleasant and sexy? That would be a big miracle. But if you're in that situation, I think you'll find the Lord's answers to these questions pretty amazing.
15.(Jesus speaking:) All things are possible to them who believe. My love covers a multitude of sins, idiosyncrasies, peculiarities, faults, failures and shortcomings. My love is love enough to change or alter any situation, and if My children believe, I am able to do anything on their behalf.
16.When two people are seeking to please Me, if I have given them a child, I am able to put the love in their hearts for each other--My love divine--that they may love and be filled with an enjoyable, happy relationship, a fulfilling and fruitful relationship, a deep and meaningful relationship, and a fun and sexy relationship! All this I am able to do if My children look to Me.
17.When relationships are strained and rocky, I am able to change all of that. In order to do this, however, those involved must put forth the effort of a believing will. They must put forth the effort of yieldedness to Me in all the little things. It takes yieldedness, work, faith and believing on the part of both parties. Many times My children give up for lack of faith, for lack of trying, for lack of sticking, for lack of yielding and believing that I am able to change their minds and hearts and desires if they will yield them to Me. If they put forth the effort of a believing will, I am able to do all things.
18.The success of a relationship--the fruitfulness and happiness of two people to whom I give a child--depends on their yieldedness to Me. I am able to work the work in their hearts as they yield their hearts, minds, thoughts, independence and desires to Me. (End of message from Jesus.)
19.(Mama:) I'm not saying that it's definitely the Lord's will for two people to marry even though they have a terrible relationship and hardly get along. Dad has commented in early Letters such as "Choice" that it takes more than duty to make a marriage; it takes a lot of genuine love! But sometimes we can misinterpret those quotes or misapply them, not realizing that the Lord is able to give us that love, if it's His will, even if we don't start out with it or have it naturally. Let's not forget the supernatural, miracle-working power of God's Spirit. Of course, you'd have to have the faith for it and be convinced that it's the Lord's will. You can't just jump into a marriage like that with your fingers crossed, thinking it might sort of get better, maybe, you hope. It takes faith, conviction and a desire to make it work because both of you believe it's the Lord's will. But it can be done, and the Lord can do miracles for those who believe!
What About Missing Your Soul Mate?
20. There's something else that could hold you back from stepping out by faith to marry a person you don't have romantic feelings for, and that is, thinking that if you marry someone that you're not in love with, chances are that somewhere down the line you'll run into a person that you really click with, and then you'll find yourself in a marriage without strong romantic feelings, but super in love with someone else!
21.As one of the SGAs in WS put it: "I think a lot of people might fear jumping into marriage too soon and then later finding someone else who they feel is their 'soul mate,' or who at least gives them all those super-tingly romantic feelings. Then they'll feel that they missed the mark by already being married and thus losing the chance for the romantic marriage they think they could have had." (End of comments from SGA.)
22.(Mama:) This is a natural reaction, something that many of you have probably wondered about. I asked the Lord to speak about this dilemma, to help us have His mind on these deep and sometimes troubling matters of the heart. If you're reluctant to commit to marriage because you're not in love, thinking, "But my 'soul mate' might be just around the corner, or in the next Home or at the next fellowship meeting," what do you do? Should you wait? Should you go ahead by faith? And if you do go ahead by faith, are you destined to eventually be disappointed when you finally meet the person of your dreams, but then it's too late to marry him or her? Here is some counsel from the Lord if you have these questions:
23.(Jesus speaking:) How do you find the perfect match? Who is your perfect soul mate? I and I alone am your perfect soul mate, for there is no other perfect match for you! And the next best soul mate you can have in this life, next to Me, is the one I lead you to.
24.When I am leading you to join with another in marriage, even if the in-love feelings do not happen to come first, that is the time to put your heart and soul into that union, and at that point to stop looking further for what you think is the man or woman of your dreams. As long as you keep looking around the corner for something else, you will never be content, and I will not be able to fully bless and prosper your union. When I am leading you to be with a certain someone, you must be willing to cease from constantly looking around those corners! You do this by trusting Me and focusing on what I give you.
25.This is the key: to follow where I am leading and then to stop constantly looking around those corners. Trust Me. I will water and tend to the love in your heart, nurturing it and causing it to grow and blossom and bloom! (End of message from Jesus.)
26. (Mama:) Once you know it's the Lord's will that you marry someone, then the Lord asks you to put your heart into making that marriage work. As long as you allow yourself to be discontent and dissatisfied, you'll miss the wonderful blessings the Lord wants to give you. The key is to find the Lord's will and then accept it! As long as you're thinking you should have something else or someone else or a different kind of marriage relationship, you'll be battling and feeling bummed out, like you somehow got cheated. But if you have faith that you are in the Lord's will, and you trust that He does all things well and He wants to make you happy, then you have a wonderful future to look forward to!
27. Here's another question you might have: What if you have been very much in love with someone in the past but it didn't work out to marry that person for some reason? Maybe you moved fields, or he or she married someone else. Or what if it's not working out to marry that person because you've created a baby with someone else and you read in the Letters that in most cases when that happens, the Lord wants you to get married? Does that mean you've missed the Lord's will and your chance to have a happy marriage? Here is a message from the Lord that gives comfort and hope:
28.(Jesus speaking:) There are a number of delights that I wish to bestow upon My children, and according to the choices that they make, they receive one or the other.
29.In this matter of choosing a mate, there is not a single choice,that if you miss it, you have missed My will altogether and cannot be redeemed. There are a number of choices within My will when it comes to these matters, and the outcome is determined by the choices that each person makes. There are a number of different prizes--each unique in its own way, each with good points and bad points, each with difficulties and joy--but one is not necessarily better than the other.
30.So if you are at a crossroads and cannot decide whether the person in question is the one for you, ask Me! I will show you if he or she is one of the choices within My will. Yet if you miss one opportunityfor some reason or another, due to choices made or circumstances, don't be discouraged, for if you are yielded to Me, then I will bring along another bus of opportunity that will carry you to your promised land. (End of message from Jesus.)
31.(Mama:) This message shows that you still have to seek the Lord about your choice, but at least you know there are more options within the Lord's will than just one! I hope that sets your heart and mind at ease somewhat, knowing that you don't have to fear wrecking your life if you don't make the one and only perfect decision regarding marriage! You don't have to live in constant turmoil and indecision, fearing that somehow you'll miss the Lord's will. He's very merciful, and He can use the choices you make to bring about His plan. He doesn't bind you to just one right decision, so that if you happen to miss it on that one thing, then you're lost! He works with you on this, and He uses your decision to bring about His highest will in your life as best He can. Praise the Lord!
A Few Exceptions When the Lord Would Not Require Marriage
32.With so much emphasis from the Lord on caring for the child you've created and doing your best to make sure His gift of love has both a mommy and a daddy, you might wonder if the Lord would really ever lead two people to not get together if they created a child together. Obviously this would be the exception, because the Lord has said over and over that under most circumstances if a man and a woman create a child, He wants them to marry (or in the case of a single woman and married man, He may lead the married couple and single woman to form a parenting teamwork or some such relationship).
33.But there must be some circumstances in which the Lord will lead a man and a woman to not get together. Otherwise He wouldn't have asked you to pray about it; He would have just made it a hard and fast rule. The Lord doesn't ask you to pray and hear from Him just to give you something else to do, some other assignment to try to fit into your busy schedule. He wants you to pray because He wants to be involved, He knows you need His counsel, and He's going to have something important to tell you!
34.The Lord wants to speak to you personally, not only so that you'll have His specific promises for your relationship that you can hold on to, but also because He wants to lead each person individually in the path He knows is best. There are a huge variety of relationships, and only the Lord can lead so precisely. Still, I felt the Lord could give us a general explanation and guidelines on why or under what possible circumstances He would lead two people who have created a child to not marry.
35.(Jesus speaking:) There are times when I make exceptions to My marriage guidelines in order that My purposes may be established. There are times when I do not require a man and a woman who are responsible for a child to join together, when for My work's sake I have greater need for that man and woman to be apart. Though the exception, it is sometimes necessary that they not join together in order to tend to the greater needs of the Kingdom.
36.If through rejection of the fundamental Family beliefs on the part of either the man or the woman, if through doubt and unbelief one should depart from the faith, even if only in mind and spirit, I do not require that a man and woman join together.
37.If a marriage is not good for My work, if it is not good for the Body, if it is not good for all those involved, I do not require that a man and woman get married. If a union does not glorify Me and My Body and strengthen and edify those involved, I do not require a man and woman to join together.
38.For these reasons, in these Last Days, there will be some exceptions when it is necessary to venture out of the norm of conventional marriage ties in order to accomplish a greater purpose. By prayerful seeking of My will, through earnest prayer and supplication, through Godly counsel and diligently seeking the ways to know My will, I will make these exceptions to the norm clear to you. When I vary from the norm and allow unusual circumstances, this is the exception, not the rule. (End of message from Jesus.)
39.(Mama:) Here the Lord gives three general reasons why He would possibly not have the father and mother of a child marry:
40.(1) In rare cases, your specific ministries, your work for the Lord and His Kingdom, would necessitate your not marrying.
41.(2) If the person who either fathered your baby or is carrying your baby doesn't believe in the fundamental Family beliefs, then you're not obligated to marry. The Bible says that if someone is an unbeliever, then let him depart (1Cor.7:15). This means that you are not obligated to be "yoked" in marriage with someone who is not willing to fulfill the requirements of Charter membership, one of which is to "believe and teach the Family's fundamental beliefs, both Biblical and revealed, as published in our 'Statement of Faith,' or otherwise declared as such in a publication with an ML number." (See the Charter, Responsibilities of Individual Members, C.)
42.If the person that you're praying about marrying is on their way out of the Family in body or spirit, has no dedication and is just not sold out, you need to very seriously pray and hear from the Lord before getting married. If someone refuses to believe the fundamental Family beliefs, such as witnessing and going into all the world, Acts 2:44 and 45, staying dropped out, living the Law of Love fully, hearing from the Lord in prophecy, etc., then you'd better watch out! That doesn't make for a strong marriage in the spirit!
43.If someone is always listening to System music, watches every bad System movie he or she can get their hands on, is more concerned about partaking of the spirit of the world than the values of the Spirit and the Family, then there's a problem! It's not advisable that you marry that person if you're serious about your service for the Lord. In fact, a person who has these kinds of problems might well move to FM status of their own accord, or be reclassified for not upholding the Charter Member requirements.
44.(3) If the Lord shows you specifically through prophecy and Godly counselwhy such a marriage is not good for the Lord's work or those involved, then He will not lead you to marry. Of course, in accordance with the counsel the Lord has given previously, it is advisable that you get confirming prophecies from your shepherds for each of these exceptions to the marriage guidelines. (If you're a senior teen living with your parents, you could have your parents hear from the Lord for you.)
45.The Lord reminds us that such cases would be exceptions, but nonetheless, they will happen from time to time.
46.As a final note, just because your relationship doesn't run smoothly, that isn't necessarily a sign that it's not His will for you to be together. On this the Lord said:
47.(Jesus speaking:) A man and woman must not mistake testing times as a signal to refrain from joining together. There are times when I will lead a couple through times of testing, through lesson-learning times, through molding times, through times of the making of a man and a woman, as I melt them together as a strong team for Me. I do not promise that a marriage will be without tests, but I do promise that as a man and wife keep their eyes fixed on Me, as they keep Me in the center of their lives and union together, as they yield to Me in faith, believing, I will bring them through triumphant! (End of message from Jesus.)
Hearing from the Lord for Personal Situations
48.(Mama:) There is great emphasis in this series on hearing from the Lord to find His will in your life. He repeatedly instructs you to get personal, specific instruction from Him, as each situation is different. He will lead you very plainly regarding your personal circumstances and what He knows is best for you. But there's a catch to this: You have to be willing to ask Him, and I've heard many people say that they just don't have the faith to hear from the Lord for situations that are personal or "emotional." Many of you have the idea that you can't get a true, clear prophecy if you're emotionally involved with the question you're asking the Lord. This is not true!
49.Unless you can learn to have more faith to hear from the Lord about personal situations, the counsel the Lord gives in this series will be limited. The Lord won't be able to help you as much as He'd like to, nor give you the specific counsel that is tailor-made for your particular situation if you don't have the faith to hear from Him in prophecy. I asked Him to speak to you on this subject. Please read this message carefully and let the Lord use it to give you greater faith. "Faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God" (Rom.10:17).
50.(Jesus speaking:) The queen can't possibly answer every question or bring every possible scenario before Me to receive the answers for you. You're going to have to receive the answers for yourself and have the faith to come to Me for your personal guidance and shepherding and the answers to these very important questions. After all, it's your life, it's your marriage, and it affects your future very directly and intimately, and has a great effect on your personal happiness. So you need to have the faith to come to Me and hear from Me personally and get the information, guidance and instruction that you need.
51.You can't depend solely on the general principles that are put forth in the Word. Although they are the foundation and the basic building blocks on how to live the Law of Love happily and successfully, you will still need to fill in the gaps by coming to Me personally.
52.Even in the basic principles that are put forth in the Word, many times I repeat that you will have to come to Me and hear from Me. You'll just have to accept that, if I'm asking you to come to Me and hear from Me, I will speak to you and I will give you good, dependable counsel, as long as you're doing all you can to be a reliable channel. As long as you come to Me in yieldedness, laying aside your own will, in desperation, asking Me to clear your minds of your own thoughts; as long as you come to Me in desperate prayer, asking to be an empty, open, yielded vessel, then I will pour forth sweet, good, refreshing waters, and I will not lead you astray. You must take this by faith.
53.As you step out and practice and exercise your gift and hear from Me about personal matters, then you will grow in faith and you will see that it does work. But you must at some point in time be willing to step out and try it and repeatedly come to Me. As you do, your faith will grow--step by step, day by day. You'll have more faith and confidence in your ability to hear from Me personally for personal matters, and you won't be afraid that you're "too emotionally involved" to hear from Me. You won't be afraid that you're biased, or that your prophecies will be tainted or colored. You'll have faith that when you come to Me and ask Me to clear your mind and heart of your own opinions, that I do that, for that's all you can do. You can't do anything in the flesh or in your own arm to try to make yourselves open vessels; all you can do is ask Me, and I will do the rest.
54.My children, you must come to Me having put aside your own will,with a spirit of yieldedness, and first be willing to accept My will in your lives, whatever it may be, if you hope to hear from Me clearly in prophecy. You must first say, "Not my will, but Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven." If there is first this acceptance and yieldedness, then you can come to Me with one hundred percent confidence that I will speak to you in a pure, sure, dependable word of prophecy.
55.I am not limited, even if you feel that you're emotionally involved in the questions that you bring to Me. I am able to pour forth My answers to you richly and freely, as long as you're willing to have no will of your own, no mind, thoughts or opinions of your own that you're not willing to let go of in utter and complete yieldedness.
56.When you're yielded and accepting and you say, "Not my will, but Thine be done," in essence what you're doing is allowing Me to clear your heart and mind of your own opinions and thoughts, and then you become as an open channel, an empty vessel that pours forth My waters--pure and clean. (End of message from Jesus.)
57.(Mama:) There are wonderful promises in this message. The Lord says He will pour forth sweet, good, refreshing waters, and will not lead us astray. What a comfort to know that the Lord wants to give us what we need. He wants to show us His will and help us to do what He knows will not only be the most fruitful and the best for His work and all involved, but also what will ultimately make us the happiest. As we delight ourselves in Him, He will give us the desires of our hearts, and no good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly--those seeking His will and putting Him first.
58.I also want to emphasize the conditions the Lord puts on these promises, which is what we are responsible to do if we want to be reliable channels to receive His Words of personal shepherding in our lives. We must be yielded and desperate, have no set plan or preconceived ideas of our own, and sincerely ask Him to clear our minds of our own thoughts. Being completely yielded, desperate for the Lord's will, and putting aside our own will is pictured beautifully in the Lord's instruction that we must come to Him saying, "Not my will, but Thine be done." This requires yieldedness and acceptance.
59.Even when people are yielded and very open to the Lord's will, I think the natural tendency of many is to feel that they have to do something to clear their minds and hearts of their own emotions or opinions, that they have to work hard to try to become unbiased or neutral. But there's a problem if you have that mindset, because if you're emotionally involved or have strong opinions about the question you're bringing to the Lord--which you probably will have when it has to do with whether or not you will marry someone--it's difficult to feel that you have ever done enough to truly get rid of your emotions or personal opinions, and thereby make sure your prophecies are not tainted by your own thoughts. But, my loves, we all need to get away from thinking that we have to work up some kind of self-made, completely empty mind without personal opinions or emotions. That's impossible. That's self-effort, self-righteousness.
60.All we can do is lean hard on the Lord and call out to Him desperately to help us to be completely yielded, and then ask Him to clear our mind and heart of our own opinions. And when we ask the Lord to do that, we have to trust that He does it! That's all we can do, and that's all He asks us to do. We have to take it by faith that He can override our personal opinions and emotions as we call out to Him desperately, which should give us the faith to go into our time of hearing from Him knowing that as we ask we will receive His personal guidance and instruction.
61.Being desperate in prayer doesn't necessarily mean being down on your knees, weeping. Desperation isn't always accompanied by strong emotions or visible signs, although sometimes you do feel desperate and look desperate if the Lord moves you in that way while praying. But those feelings and signs are not required, and you can be plenty desperate as you quietly and sincerely pray.
62.I asked the Lord what "being desperate" means. We know it's not required that it be manifested in the flesh, but what makes you desperate? Here is His very helpful answer:
63.(Jesus speaking:) To be desperate with Me is to desire the truth, to put away your own thoughts and ask Me to make your mind and heart an open book that I can write My Words upon. The desperation is shown through your vacuum, your wanting to hear, to know. You can be very desperate without having any outward signs of emotion, such as crying or praying in a loud, animated voice. Your desperation is synonymous with your yieldedness and your desire to know My will. The more yielded and desirous of the truth you are, the more desperate you will be.
64.Also, the ramifications or consequences of your prayer time can also affect your level of desperation. If you know the situation that you're praying about is very serious or if you know the decision you're making will have far-reaching effects in your life or the lives of others, this creates in you a greater desperation, a stronger vacuum, because your awareness of the need to get the message and direction exactly right is more amplified. You're keyed in more finely to My whispers. (End of message from Jesus.)
65.(Mama:) In a situation when you're praying about decisions regarding marriage and relationships, you might feel muddled and even resistant to what the Lord is doing in your life. You might ask, "What if I don't feel very yielded? What if I'm having a hard time putting aside my own will or feelings?" In that case, I suggest you have someone else hear from the Lord for you, such as your shepherds, or your parents if you're a senior teen living with your parents. They can ask the Lord about His will for you, or they can receive prophecies to confirm what you have previously received. The point of getting confirming prophecies is so that you can have greater faith to follow the Lord. It's to help you have peace in your heart that you've found the Lord's will.
66.If you know you aren't yielded, ask others whom you trust and respect to get prophecies for you, to help you be sure you are hitting God's highest will in your life and walk with Him. If you feel you can't lay aside your own feelings in the matter, you as individuals or as a couple may even want others to get the original prophecies about whether you should marry or not, as opposed to you receiving them yourselves. There's no shame in that; it's simply a matter of trusting the Lord. It's brave and admirable.
67.In case there are conflicting prophecies between the man and woman involved, or the confirming prophecies that others receive are different, it is wise to go back to the Lord and ask Him to give further explanation and information. You can keep going back to the Lord as many times as needed until you have a peace about what He is showing you and you feel confident that you understand His message and have heard from Him clearly.
68.The final decision of whether or not you will marry is yours and yours alone. No one should try to pressure you to make a certain decision, either through their counsel or through prophecies. Remember, the Charter makes it clear that you have the final decision as to whether or not to implement the guidance given to you through prophecies received, either by yourselves or through others (The Charter, Prophecy Rules, 1.A.).
What About Earlier Separations and Fatherless Children?
69.On the subject of how in most cases it's the Lord's will for you to marry if you have created a child together, some of you young people might be battling right now, thinking, "Hey, how come the Lord is coming down so hard on us, when look at all the single moms there are from the first generation? Where are all the fathers of those children? How come those guys can get away with not taking care of their kids?" This might be quite a big question, especially for you who are children of single parents, or you young men and women who have brought a child into the world and who aren't too keen on the idea of possibly getting married so you can take care of that child together. I asked one of the channels in our Home to hear from the Lord on this. We really needed the Lord's explanation, and as always, He was faithful to give it.
70.(Jesus speaking:) All the children of David are now under the same guidelines of My Word. They've all heard the clear sound of the trumpet as it was put forth in the Charter and "Go for the Gold!" All are accountable, both those from the first generation and those from the second generation.
71.Yes, it is true that there are single mothers of the first generation, and some of them care for the children of their previous marriage--yet I have accomplished a purpose through these circumstances in their lives. But the situations of most of these FGA mothers are different. In most cases, these mothers did have a husband and a father for their children for many years, and during that time the father did stick by the wife and the kids. In most cases the father spent many years faithfully caring for, supporting, teaching, and raising the kids.
72.The difference is that in most cases, these marriages of the first generation had already given it their best shot. They had obeyed, and they had lived, loved, and worked together for years. They had served Me together as man and wife, together caring for their children, even caring lovingly and cheerfully for what were termed "Jesus babies." And though in some cases of larger families there were yet smaller children to raise, I made exceptions and called them to separate only after I saw their years of faithfulness with their first crop of children. I knew their hearts were right and their intentions were pure, so I opened a door for change. For at that time I had yet a greater plan in their lives.
73.In most cases I led these couples to separate, if I knew that their separation would be more fruitful overall than their staying together. In most cases this was My leading in their lives at that time, this was My guidance for that time, under those circumstances, at that point in the history of the Family.
74.You must be careful not to compare how I worked in times past with how I work in your lives in the present day. For in years past I found it necessary to lead many of the first generation to separate, and I worked in their lives in this way for many reasons, that I might make of their broken pieces a larger unit--My Family, a more yielded Bride to Me. In that time this was the most effective way to accomplish My purpose. Yet I work differently in the lives of My Family today, and you must not compare the two eras.
75.Those of the older generation didn't always handle each and every situation with as much wisdom as they could have. But this doesn't mean that I was wrong in leading them to separate. My hand led many to separate, and through their brokenness they have drawn closer to Me. You must not see with the eyes of flesh, but see as I see. You must not look at situations that seem to you as less than ideal and think that some terrible thing has happened. But look at these situations as stepping stones that I have placed in the way, circumstances that I allow to bring about a much greater purpose.
76.It's not wise to compare, criticize, or use the past actions of others to justify your not obeying My leading for today. There's a big difference in the stories of the first generation couples who separated in earlier years, and the story of someone who carelessly fathers a child and gives no regard whatsoever to the care of that child. There's a big difference between a couple who has spent years trying to make their marriage work and a couple who doesn't even try at all. There's a big difference in the sense of responsibility of those who separated in times past, and those who are not taking responsibility at all in present times.
77.Today, every man must give account of himself regarding the Law of Love and the counsel in "Go for the Gold." Now you are fully accountable, so you cannot look at others who are in different circumstances and excuse yourselves or say, "Oh look, they didn't do it, so I don't have to. They didn't take responsibility, so I don't have to."
78.Each of you will stand before Me alone, and you will give account of your actions, whether you lived in love and concern for the mother and the fatherless child, or whether you lived in selfishness. I clarify My Word so that you know: If you have fathered a child since the time of reading the truth of "Go for the Gold," then you are responsible to seek Me, and in most cases, you are responsible to care for the mother and the child. This counsel is for those of both generations. (End of message from Jesus.)
79.(Mama:) I hope that answers some of your questions. I think it should, if you will receive it! The point should now be very clear: The Lord expects us all to be living according to the counsel in "Go for the Gold!"--And that means both generations!I'm repeating what He said in that Letter and trying to make it as clear as possible, because the Lord is serious about this, and He means business!
80.You might have noticed in the above message that the Lord said He does not hold those who shared sexually and created a child before reading "Go for the Gold" as accountable as those of you who have done so since reading that Letter. (Note: "Go for the Gold" arrived at most Homes worldwide by November of 1995.) To refresh your memory, I'll repeat a portion of "Questions and Answers on 'Go for the Gold'" that talks about this point specifically:
81. Question: Is the counsel in [Go for the Gold] retroactive concerning pregnancy and marriage? If a woman got pregnant before reading [Go for the Gold], should she and the father of the baby now get married? How much responsibility is a man expected to take for a child that was conceived before [Go for the Gold] was published?
82. Answer: Again, each case must be decided on by the individuals involved. The Lord says that it is His will for some of the single men and women whose lovemaking resulted in a child before reading [Go for the Gold] to be together. He says they should seek each other out and build a life together, for the sake of the child. But He also makes it clear that this is not His will in all cases. He releases some single men and women from the responsibility of marriage, even though their lovemaking resulted in a child, because He has another plan for them and He will supply the needs of the child in another way. He says that those of you whose lovemaking resulted in a child before reading [Go for the Gold] must seek the Lord, and then act according to your own faith and conviction and how you feel Him leading you.
83. The Lord says that from now on you singles who choose to have full sex are more accountable than you were in the past. Now that you've read [Go for the Gold], you no doubt understand His will and His mind on these issues more completely. Now that you've heard what He calls this "clear sound of the trumpet," you must act responsibly and according to this greater accountability. Also, now that He's given you another clear alternative in your lovemaking--the choice of not going all the way without it being considered birth control--if you now choose to have sexual intercourse, the accountability and responsibility is greater.
84. The Lord will not force His will on anyone. He will not force a man to accept responsibility for a baby. But He reminds you that these are serious decisions that are not to be taken lightly. They require much love, understanding, counseling, and time. If some of you couples who have borne a child together don't feel that you're "meant for each other," He promises that in some cases, a loving relationship and bonds of affection, love, and caring will develop with time, through seeing the need (ML #2961:378-381).
85. (Mama:) The above answer was based on two prophecies that you can read in paragraphs 382-390 of "Go for the Gold" if you want more of the Lord's counsel on this subject.
How to Practice Real Love--A YA Speaks Out!
86.Another responsibility you are faced with when you begin sharing sexually is for you to handle this freedom in a loving, mature and responsible manner. I want to share excerpts of a letter I received from a YA recently, which helps to point out the need for a mature attitude regarding sexual sharing. She says:
87. For some time now I've had something on my heart, a concern, and wanted to bring it up to you. It's a big topic--that of young people and sex! I'm a YA, and truthfully I'm one of those that, to put it mildly, "exploded" with enthusiasm when the Charter came out granting us the freedom to have sex.
88. Like many of us, I've been learning slowly but surely the responsibilities that come with it. Of course, during the process of learning these things, because of my immature attitude about sex, sad to say I really hurt some others along the way. One thing that made me realize how much I needed to grow up in these areas is when the tables turned and I began to get a little taste of it myself. I realize that with each new liberty, it's only human nature to make mistakes and go wild, which has helped me to understand so much better why the Lord had told us from the beginning that we would need a lot of shepherding with this new freedom.
89. Over the past two years I've had a chance to meet quite a few young people from different places--not only from here in the U.S., but also from overseas. And although I did meet young people who have a mature and responsible outlook on sex, I would say a large amount have very irresponsible and frivolous attitudes towards it. I know sex is a lot of fun, and maybe because of that, many of us tend to look at it as a "game"; when in reality it's a very delicate thing, as it involves people's emotions and feelings.
90. Sadly, it seems that with many of the System influences that we've allowed to infiltrate our personal lives lately, there have also come the System attitudes about sex.To be honest, it's been quite discouraging for me to see many of those attitudes going around, and how little some of us even try to be mature about it.
91. One thing which seems to be pretty common lately is that of especially younger YA and teen girls having an attitude of "doing" a guy for the main purpose of "adding him to their list." Many even make an extra effort to flirt and have sex with married or already-involved YAs and SGAs because it's considered more of a "prize." Afterwards, the attitude they have and impart to everyone else is that they must really be "hot stuff" because the dear guy went for her even though he's married. However, I think in most cases the husband and wife have previously agreed on the matter. It seems to me the single girl should be more grateful and have a little more respect towards both the husband and wife, as oftentimes afterwards these girls go discussing it with their friends sort of in a bragging way. (Mama: And I've heard that young men are guilty of doing the same! Brethren, these things ought not so to be!)
92. Many of us young people are still experimenting with sharing our spouse or partner. Understandably, it isn't always easy, but when these things happen, it doesn't encourage us to want to try it again. I would think that by the time we're 18 and 19 years old, we should have learned that what goes on during a date is generally a private matter, which you don't need to be announcing or gossiping about. I'm not suggesting that it always happens this way, but from what I've seen, it's become common enough.
93. Another thing that's common is making degrading comments regarding the opposite sex which generally seem to be meant in a funny way, but which come across giving sex and the partner a slutty connotation. Maybe I'm wrong to feel this way, but lately, I oftentimes feel like not getting sexually involved with certain people, because afterwards it didn't really mean anything at all, and you feel like there was really no love or care involved whatsoever--rather more like you were "an easy lay."
94. I don't think it's wrong at all to enjoy each other.However, many times we back up our sexually liberal attitudes with our Family belief in sharing, the Law of Love, and the "One Wife" vision. But if each of us were to stand back and look at ourselves, I wonder just how much of what we do really would fall under the category of loving sharing, or are we just using that as an excuse to justify our selfish actions?
95. One thing that makes us so different from the churches is our sexual freedom, but maybe we forget sometimes that the Lord and Grandpa gave this revelation to the Family because they felt that we were mature enough to handle it in a loving manner. Perhaps it would do us good to study over the original Letters Grandpa wrote on these subjects, because he said it all from the very beginning, such as the following quotes:
96. It depends on your spiritual strength and maturity, trustworthiness, and especially the ultimate in total unselfish and sacrificial love--the true love of God! Can you be trusted with it, or will you abuse it and use your liberty as license to do wrongfully and lustfully instead of rightfully and lovingly? Will you use it to heal and help, or harm and hinder? The answer is up to you. If you are strong enough in spirit and filled with His love, you can be trusted with His liberty as a useful tool to help others. But if you are weak in the flesh, full of selfish lust and play with it foolishly like a dangerous toy, it will only harm you and others and hinder the work of God!
97.Are you doing it because you want to unselfishly and sacrificially help someone elsewho really needs it, and by which you can show God's love? Or are you doing it selfishly and unlawfully, not in love for others and God, but merely to consume it upon your own lusts? (ML #302C:5,7,8,16).
98. If you think about it, it is a big responsibility to uphold that standard.And I think we need to remember that although we do believe sex is pure and Godly, the kind of sex we're talking about is very different from what much of the System practices and knows sex to be. What we're talking about is just what we say it is--Godly, loving and unselfish sex. Anything else that goes against that cannot be justified as our Family beliefs on sharing, the Law of Love, and the "One Wife" vision. Of course, naturally as humans we make mistakes … but we have to start somewhere and take a stand to grow up in these areas.
99. Our parents went through the same things after the RNR. I just wonder if perhaps we young people could stand to learn a little from their mistakes, and be willing to listen a little more when they try to help us in these areas. Maybe since sexual sharing is a new thing to many of us younger people, we tend to overemphasize it, get overzealous, and become like a bull in a china shop, making more of a mess than we'd hoped to. (End of excerpts of letter from YA.)
100.(Mama:) Very well put! God bless you, dear girl, for expressing yourself so well on these important points. We appreciate your taking the time to write us. I'm sure there are probably others who feel much the same way.
101.Some of the examples in the above letter were in reference to young women and their proud, unloving actions, but such actions are by no means limited to young women. I've heard a number of very sad comments about the attitudes and actions of some of you young men as well.
102.You young people need to take a look at your actions and ask yourself if you act like those described above. Are you "going wild" with sex? Are you gossiping? Are you sharing with others just to lift yourself up, to make yourself popular? Are you trying to "steal" someone else's husband or wife, or boyfriend or girlfriend? Or even if you're not trying to take them away from their mate, are you sharing with them just to lift up your own self and to try to look better in front of others? If so, as Dad said, you are "using your liberty as license to do wrongfully and lustfully, instead of rightfully and lovingly."
103.Remember, the Lord gave us the freedom to share sexually with one another in order to engender love and unity, not hurt and division. When you act in an unloving, unkind, irresponsible manner, it shows that you are immature in spirit and lacking in your understanding of the wonderful gift of love the Lord has given us in His Law of Love.
The Dangers of Going Overboard
104.Regarding those who seem to have gone to the extreme in their sexual sharing, Dad said in prophecy:
105.(Dad speaking:) There are certainly those who are going overboard and who are yielding to the lusts of the flesh, and thereby hindering the flow of the Spirit. It's like the RNR days and the months and years which followed the sexual revolution of the early days, when everyone was finally freed to have sex with each other. There were those who went hog-wild and who were not loving or prayerful. Most of them weren't intending to hurt others, but they did. Most weren't intending to cause broken hearts, but they did. Most weren't intending to promote wrong attitudes or policy, but they did.
106.It's the same situation now, and these wrong attitudes that some are exhibiting need to be pointed out and kept in check, so that the sheep--our dear younger sheep--know that it's not right, and that it's not the "new wave" that they have to succumb to. (End of message from Dad.)
107.(Mama:) Now don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say that you shouldn't have sex, and that it can't be fun and even wild sometimes--but what it does need to be is loving. You've got to avoid actions that hurt others. I don't have any objections to people having different sex partners, or even to those who have a lot of sex, if their motives are right, if it's done in love and not selfish lust, and if it doesn't hurt others. The problem is, if you're not prayerful, if you're not thinking of others, then you're probably hurting others.
108.You might think, "Hey, I'm young! How can you expect me to pray about the sex I have or who I have it with? I like sex, it feels good, and I want to have as much as I can. I hardly ever think about how my having sex with someone affects others in the Home." If you feel this way, then chances are you're hurting others. Or if you find yourself having sex with others because you feel it will make you popular, or because you're trying to show others how popular you are, then chances are you're probably hurting others. If you're bragging about all the sex you have or you use sex to get your way with others, chances are you're hurting others.
109.In all of these cases, you're showing an immature attitude and spirit about sex, and you need to change, you need to grow up, you need to learn more about what it means to truly live the Law of Love. As Dad said in prophecy:
110.(Dad speaking:) You young people are new on this playing field. You're single for the most part, footloose and fancy-free, and you don't look at sharing and the Law of Love quite the same way as most of the older adults do. That's what needs to change: It's your perception and attitude and mindset. All of your sexual interactions and dealings with one another need to be done in more of a spirit of prayer and love. You don't realize how much you can be hurting someone or taking things in the wrong direction when you hop in bed with one person here and another there, and then leave a string of broken hearts, or a single mother left alone, while you go off to your next romantic adventure.
111.You need to have a more mature attitude about it. And you need to get this maturity pretty quick, because folks are being hurt in the bargain, and that's not the Lord and it's not loving. You young people need some talking to about maturity, responsibility, and responsible sex. Just because we're a free Family, with a wild, loving, sexy God, does not mean that immaturity and irresponsibility are "in"! That's not the case at all!
112.The best sex you young people are ever going to have, and the best partners you're ever going to find--whether temporary lovers or your permanent mate and companion--are going to be with those people who are mature and responsible and Spirit-led, because sex is a spiritual thing.
113.While the flesh might hit it off well with someone in particular, the only thing that's going to last is the spiritual connection, and you can have that not only in spirit, but in your sexual intimacy and time with another. If you haven't experienced it yet, you've missed something! I was always a great advocate of sex and fun, but I was an even greater advocate of the Spirit! The Spirit comes first! (End of message from Dad.)
114.(Mama:) In another message he gave along these lines, Dad said:
115.(Dad speaking:) I hope you can see that sexual sharing is not designed or intended for you to go running off pursuing a whole lot of hot relationships and just seeing who you can fall in love with, and who you can get to fall in love with you! The idea is to share God's love, to share sacrificially, to share for unity, to share your hearts and your lives and your bodies and to prayerfully accept responsibility for the actions that you have chosen to take. (End of message from Dad.)
116.(Mama:) Please remember that the Lord expects you to use these freedoms with a great deal of love and maturity.
Your Responsibility to Live the Law of Love in All Your Daily Activities
117.A responsibility that goes along with what we've just been talking about is the responsibility to live in a loving manner--not just in sex, but in all of our daily activities. I've covered this pretty thoroughly earlier in this series, but I want to mention it again because it's something that we can all stand to improve in greatly. And this is something that even you senior teens who've chosen to not partake of sexual sharing yet can work on. You don't have to be having sex to be learning about the Law of Love, because you can concentrate on putting it into effect in many other areas of your lives besides in bed!
118.For example, loving without partiality shouldn't be limited to sexual activity, but should include things like inviting others to join in your activities, Word or prayer time, praise time, conversations, get-outs, hang-around times, etc., especially if they aren't ones that you would normally have that kind of fellowship with. Another example would be to try to dance with everyone on dance nights, not just those you're friends with or are attracted to. In other words, don't play favorites or exclude people; instead, include everyone and make them feel loved and cared about.
119.The same goes with giving simple affection: Be equally affectionate to everyone in your Home, not just your friends, because when you leave someone out it can really hurt. To be ignored in that way can add to people's inferiority complexes and comparing battles, which most of you know is really a bummer!
Your Responsibility to Love Without Partiality
120.Since we're talking about loving without partiality, I want to include a very important point, one which is at the heart of the Law of Love. This is something that was covered earlier in this series, so I'll just touch on it briefly here. One of the responsibilities of the Law of Love is to help a brother or a sister in need. If they have a sexual need, the Law of Love compels us to fill that need, even if we aren't personally attracted to them. At times this can be difficult to do, I know, but difficult or not, it's part of the Law of Love.
121.Again, if we're going to receive the benefits of the Law of Love, like the freedom to share sexually, then we must be willing to fulfill the responsibilities as well, and giving to a brother or sister in need is one of those responsibilities. Our Charter Members have made a commitment to not have sex with outsiders, in order to protect the Family. That means that they need to have their sexual needs met by those of us in the Family; that's their only option. To take care of our brethren sexually is part of our duty to the Lord and our service to them in love. "Inasmuch as you have done it unto one of the least of these My brethren, you have done it unto Me" (Mat.25:40). If this aspect of the Law of Love is difficult for you, I suggest you review Part 2 of this series and ask the Lord to help you understand the importance of giving love to your brethren impartially.
122.It would make the Lord sad if you applied the wonderful freedom He gives you by sharing only with those you are attracted to, or worse yet, with those you hope to receive something from in return. It's common in the world for people to dole out sexual favors to further their own agenda. For example, someone might try to score with someone close to the "top" for motives of prestige, or to try to tap into their power and position, or to obligate them so as to receive special treatment. I hope none of you would be guilty of such behavior. Those are the wrong motives! But if you find that you're more "available" for people with position or authority than those without, then you might want to check your heart. Man looketh on the outward appearance. But remember, Jesus said: "In that you have done it unto the least of these, My brethren, you have done it unto Me."
123.(A note to you senior teens: What I'm sharing here about giving love and sex to your brethren in need is something you'll have to put in perspective according to the decisions you personally have made about whether you feel you're ready to have sex or not. I explained in Part 4 of this series that when you senior teens start sharing sexually is your own personal decision, and no one should pressure you or make you feel obligated to have sex if you're not ready for it or don't feel comfortable about it. So you'll have to remember that as you read this section of the Letter.
124.(I don't want you to feel that not only do you have to start having sex right away, but you have to have sacrificial sex at that. You'll need to operate according to your own faith. But even if this makes you who are not having sex feel a little awkward, I need to include this very important point in this Letter, because it's something that those who are having sex need to learn! Okay, back to the point about loving without partiality.)
125.I have a little advice from Dad that I think might help you have more faith for sharing sexually with others, even if you don't have a big sexual attraction for them. In prophecy, Dad shared a little testimony about the times he shared with women who he wasn't so attracted to. He said:
126.(Dad speaking:) Sure there will be some times when it's a little bit more sacrificial than others. I've told you that there were some of our girls that I shared with, so-called "sacrificially." Maybe they weren't exactly my type, or maybe their personality wasn't exactly the kind I preferred to be around--but that didn't change my religion any, that didn't change my Christian faith any, that didn't change my conviction any, and that didn't change my love for them any. I went right ahead and gave'm my time and my love, and I showed them just as much love and affection as I did those whose personalities were more akin to my preferences. And you know what? I enjoyed it! We had a great time! You know why?--Because I was doing it as unto the Lord. (End of message from Dad.)
127.(Mama:) I think this concept of "sharing sacrificially," having some kind of sexual fellowship with those you're not attracted to, is a very new thing for many of you young people. From what I can tell, there's very little sharing being done amongst you of the second generation simply for the sake of taking care of someone in need. I have a feeling many of you even think the principle of sacrificial sharing is strange, and you're quite turned off by the whole idea.
128.I understand that it's difficult for you, and it doesn't come naturally to have sex with someone when there's no "chemistry" between you and the other person. But I want to remind you that when Dad first taught us about the sexual side of the Law of Love, the main purpose was to give love sacrificially, and it remains so today. When we began to live the Law of Love fully, the purpose was to minister to unsaved outsiders and win their souls for the Lord, as well as to minister to our brethren who needed and deserved to have their sexual needs met, regardless of whether there was any physical attraction there or not!
129.Believe me--and if you ask our first-generation FFers I'm sure they'll back me up on this point--when we spent those many nights FFing, we weren't judging which men were worthy of our spending time with them in the bed of love by how attracted we were to them in the flesh. That had absolutely nothing to do with it! We judged the situation according to their spiritual hunger and their need and appreciation for the Lord's love and message. Of course, sometimes our sexual encounters in FFing were pleasant right from the start, and there was a mutual physical attraction, which was nice. But other times, when we were with someone who was not at all to our liking, the time spent together with that person making love would often be very special and surprisingly pleasurable, because the Lord's love would come through so strongly.
130.The same is true when sharing sexually with the brethren. If you reach out to someone in need, I think you'll be surprised at what a fulfilling and satisfying experience it can be. You might not be burning inside with sexual passion, they might not kiss or touch you just the way you like, they might not have the physical attributes that you prefer, but if you're open to giving them what they need and you love them with the Lord's love, you might find something much more valuable than just sexual passion, perfect kisses, or the kind of body or physical appearance that turns you on. You'll feel their great appreciation, you'll know how much it meant to them to have that time of intimate contact with you, you'll have the satisfaction of being a channel for the Lord's love, and you'll know that you made someone's life happier!
131.Just like Dad taught us, when you forget about trying to find happiness for yourself and you try to make others happy, then happiness will find you. Sometimes "sacrificial sharing" with someone who is lonely or who doesn't get much attention can be the most rewarding kind of sharing in the spirit, because since there's less of the things of the flesh, you have to be more desperate with the Lord, and the person you're with is so very appreciative. All of this works together to bring more of the Lord's Spirit into the encounter.
132.So if you haven't ever tried giving love to someone just because they need it, even if there doesn't seem to be anything in it for you, I suggest you try it--even if you only start out slowly, with a walk while holding someone's hand, giving a sweet hug and a few kisses, having a little cuddle time, or having an affectionate dance. A little love goes a long, long way, especially with those people who really need it! And if you start out slowly, you'll soon discover it's not as difficult as you thought, and you'll probably soon have the faith to give more.
133.(A word of caution: Please remember that no one should feel forced or pressured to have sexual contact with someone else. Although sacrificial sharing is something that the love of God should constrain us to do, it is still a personal decision, and no one should force someone else to share with them or make them feel bad or condemned if they don't want to. You might consider yourself to be very "needy," but someone else might not feel the same, and it's very wrong for you to push your program or make someone feel obligated. Love must be given freely and cheerfully, even if sacrificially. So I don't want to hear of anyone using this counsel as leverage to get what you want, or to try to get more than the giver feels he or she can give.)
Your Responsibility to Have Word-based Attitudes
134.Another responsibility we all have when taking part in the sexual freedoms allowed us by the Law of Love is to use these freedoms in accordance with the Word. We are responsible to have Word-based attitudes about the Law of Love, and to act accordingly. A problem that has arisen amongst some of you young people is that certain attitudes have crept into your midst that are not Godly, but instead are very worldly. Not all of you have succumbed to these, but many of you have. Perhaps you've not even realized how contrary to the Word your opinions and ideas are on many things.
135.The Lord spoke about this problem when talking about the goals of the Family for 1998. Here's what He said:
136.(Jesus speaking:) Many of the younger generation do not understand [the Law of Love], and they've made other commitments and what they consider "moral decisions" that are not based on My Word. They see what they consider the mistakes of the past and of the first generation, and they've determined in their hearts that they will not be guilty of the same; yet they're foolish in that they have thrown the baby out with the bath water.
137.They've become blinded to the beauty and the good of sharing with others under the Law of Love because they've dwelt solely on the negative and listened to the lies of the Enemy. They've become confused and deceived. They need to be instructed with the pure water of My Word, and to be strengthened in the meat of My Word, that they might accept, believe, receive, and live the truth that has been entrusted into their care (ML #3160:169,170).
138.(Mama:) Many of the non-Word-based opinions that you've chosen to adopt are based on how you and your friends see things. With time, these opinions have traveled "through the verbal grapevine," so to speak, and the result is that now in many places it's become the "in thing"--or at least the accepted norm--to have attitudes about sex and sharing that are completely contrary to the Word. These wrong attitudes have been accepted by many of you, and thus have given birth to a new attitude and code of behavior that is fairly widespread, but unfortunately very unscriptural.
139.Many of you are probably not deliberately doing the wrong thing; you just haven't understood the Law of Love because you haven't read all of the Word on the subject, nor have you always seen a good sample of this in recent years. While the older generation did receive, believe, and embrace living the Law of Love fully in earlier years, which the Lord has greatly commended them for, in recent years they've fallen down in this considerably. Also, it seems that many of our Homes became overly cautious in regards to sexual sharing due to the persecution we experienced a few years ago. Furthermore, the influence of System movies, music, and television is very strong against God's Word and His loving way of doing things.
140.As I said, in some cases you young people are confused by bad samples in the adults. You're disappointed that they've not lived up to your expectations. You've seen many problems with jealousy and hurt feelings due to unloving actions. As a result, you've vowed not to make the same mistakes.
141.I can see how easy it is for you young people to think this way, as we of the older generation certainly aren't perfect. There have been many mistakes made! We've had to learn many lessons about how to apply the Law of Love to every aspect of our lives; in fact, we're still learning!
142.However, many of you young people have adopted a number of System values concerning affection, sex and marriage that are not at all based on the Word. Possibly in hopes of not making the same mistakes the older generation made, many of you have gone very far to the opposite extreme, contrary to the freedom of the Law of Love, to where you're now very bound by pride, selfishness, and self-righteousness. Your lack of outgoing concern for others and your lack of impartial love, affection, and sharing, have served to build walls and separate you from each other, so that many now feel very isolated and lonely. It's a very sad situation, and unfortunately it appears to be quite common.
143.Some of you young married couples have declared that the sexual freedom allowed according to the Law of Love is fine as a Scriptural doctrine, and you feel that it was okay for your parents, but you've taken the stance that it's "just not for me." Others of you single young people don't want to share any love with anyone except the one person you're in love with and who hopefully you will marry, and you have determined that your mate will be the only person you'll share with. The young people who do choose to be more giving and sharing are often criticized and labeled as being "loose," "cheap" or "easy lays."
144.Then there are those who don't understand the true meaning of the Law of Love and interpret it to mean unbridled sexual freedom with no rules or strings attached. These people go from one person to the next, fucking or having sex only with the ones that they're attracted to, and wreaking havoc in the meantime. These are the ones who think they're free and liberated and living the Law of Love--which couldn't be further from the truth! They're not living the Law of Love, and aren't giving sacrificially or thinking about the needs of others, but are just taking the food out of others' mouths to feed themselves. This is quite a problem.
145.Some of you young people have adopted very negative attitudes towards large families. You're quite vocal in saying you won't make the same mistake your parents made by having a lot of children. You announce proudly that you won't have more than one or two. Many of you view large families as a burden and something that will hold you back in your lives and ministries.
146.Closely related to this is the practice many of you have of freely and without qualms advocating the use of birth control. If you personally choose to use some form of birth control, that's up to you. You're free to act according to your own faith. But just as others should not be condemning or criticizing you for your decision, so you should not be broadcasting it and making others feel that they're just not "with it" if they're "going for the gold"--either by fucking without using birth control, or not fucking at all but using other methods of lovemaking instead.
147.Then there's the bad attitude about pregnancy. Some of you look upon pregnancy as a mortal blow to your "careers" in the Family. Others of you criticize and condemn girls who get pregnant, telling them they were stupid for letting it happen to them. You have the attitude of, "Oh, poor thing! She got knocked up! Why did she go and do a thing like that?!"
148.Listen, if someone in your Home or area gets pregnant, it's not your place to criticize her or the man involved, or to gossip about them or in any way make them feel bad, condemned, or embarrassed! It's none of your business. When someone gets pregnant, it's between the man and the woman involved, and it's up to them to pray and hear from the Lord about how they want to handle it, in counsel with their shepherds and/or parents. Everything will go much more smoothly for them if you'll not be critical and judgmental of them! If you want to do something, then pray for them that they can find the Lord's will and the happiness He has for them and the child.
149.That brings me to the next problem area--gossip--which I spoke about earlier, which also goes against the Word. Overall, there are many unscriptural, wrong ideas and attitudes that have taken hold in the hearts and minds of many of you members of the younger generation, and these wrong attitudes work against the Law of Love. They cause you to be selfish, proud, even self-righteous, thinking you know better than the Word, that you're right and the Word is wrong.
150.But you see, you can't be selective about the Law of Love. You can't decide that you will believe the Word about our sexual freedoms and partake of them, but you won't believe the Word about certain aspects of it, like what the Word says about loving without partiality. You can't decide that you, as a Christian, will accept the fact that you can have sex outside of marriage and even with multiple partners without sin, but then decide that you're going to be partial in it by only having sex with those you're attracted to or when it suits your fancy or when it requires no sacrifice or giving on your part. It doesn't work that way! If you're going to accept the Word for the blessings of the Law of Love, then you must also accept the Word in regards to the responsibilities as well--the responsibilities of loving without partiality, of being sure your actions don't hurt others, of not gossiping, of having Word-based attitudes, etc.
151.Another responsibility you have when living the Law of Love fully is to demonstrate a Godly attitude toward sex. One way you do this is by refraining from practicing unclean and unsafe sex acts, such as anal sex, fucking while the woman is on her period, rough or violent sex, etc. Also, you should refrain from having ungodly, perverted discussions about sex, sex acts, or the parts of the body.
152.You need to be particularly careful about the horrible demonic material about sex that can be found on the Internet. Don't let the Devil's evil seeds be planted in your heart or mind through unwise "surfing" on the Net! We've heard of plenty of cases where men have gotten tripped off and gotten into some pretty bad stuff on the Internet, which really affected their spirits and thoughts. I'm talking about such things as sodomy, anal sex, bestiality, violent sex, sadomasochism, etc. Reading about, talking about or even joking about unclean sex can make you desire it! Beware of the inroads of the Enemy!
153.Sad to say, we've heard reports that viewing this type of pornography on the Internet has had a very bad effect on the lovemaking activities of some of our younger generation, with young men being quite violent in their sex, throwing women up against walls to fuck them, forcing sex, and even roughly and violently fucking virgins. This is very wrong! It's unloving, ungodly and should not be allowed! But one of the saddest things about this is that we've heard reports that the young women go along with this treatment or even pretend to like it, because they're embarrassed and don't know what to say or do about it.
154.Shepherds and parents, if you hear of this happening, it is your God-given duty to shepherd the young people and help them to learn the loving, tender, Godly way to make love by reading the Letters Dad has written on the subject and the counsel in the book that you should be receiving soon, Cool Tips for Hot Sex! And if any of you young men have a desire for these types of ungodly violent sex, you shouldn't wait for someone to report it. You should ask for help and prayer, and start studying the Word on the subject to be washed clean!
155.Another important aspect to having a Godly attitude and spirit in your lovemaking is to bring the Lord into it by praying and praising together, loving Him intimately together, etc. The more you bring the Spirit, the Lord, and His love into your times of sexual sharing together, the more satisfying they will be!
156.I hope that as you read this Law of Love series that you will let the Lord speak to you about any attitudes you have or decisions you've made that go contrary to the Word. Here's something the Lord said on this subject:
157.(Jesus speaking:) Yield not to the pressure of your peers, but check your hearts and minds, your attitudes and thoughts, and see where they're coming from. Are they coming from My Word? Are they coming from the freedom of My Spirit and the love which I have taught you? Or are they coming from the world, from the bondage which the Enemy would want to place you under?
158.Each of you must check your own thoughts and attitudes and weigh them in the balances and see if these things be so--if they are according to My Word and according to the Words of David and the freedom and love of My Spirit. Or are they according to the world and the lies of the Enemy and the bondage that he would place upon you?
159.The Enemy goes about as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may entrap with self-righteousness, hypocrisy and pride! These attitudes draw you away from the truth and freedom of the love of David, clouding your minds and your hearts with pride and self-righteousness, so that what seems to you to be love and loyalty is in truth only bondage and pride.
160.Therefore each of you must come before Me in humility and desperation, lay all your thoughts and attitudes on the ground, and let Me rewire you with the truth of My Word. If you have a willing mind and if you just make the choice and forsake your present thoughts and attitudes and are willing to say, "Not my will, Lord, but Thine be done," then I will be able to wash you clean, remake you, and give you the freedom and love which I long to give you.
161.But there must first be this willingness of mind, this choice, and this recognition that these thoughts and this bondage and this self-righteousness and this lack of love and lack of giving and this gossiping and talking behind each other's backs is not of Me. Before I can give you the love and the freedom that I so desire to give you, you must let go of these thoughts and attitudes which are not of Me, but are of the world. (End of message from Jesus.)
162.(Mama:) The Lord makes it clear that it's the Enemy that's trying to get you off the track and tied up in his chains. He's going about as a roaring lion, seeking to entrap you in self-righteousness, hypocrisy and pride. It's so interesting that the Lord says, "What seems to you to be love and loyalty is in truth only bondage and pride." Just think, the Lord is saying that when you're unwilling to love others just because you have a special love for someone, that this is part of the Enemy's entrapment. You might consider it "love and loyalty," but because it is contrary to God's Word, He calls it "bondage and pride."
163.Now don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with having someone that you're in love with. It's just that this love should not hold you back from giving the Lord's love to others, nor from allowing the one you love to also share His love with others. Such a relationship shouldn't choke off your love for others; it shouldn't cause you to turn inward, but rather should be a vehicle to help you give even more to others. Let me finish this point about Word-based attitudes, and then I'll comment a bit more about personal relationships.
164.Let's take a look at what the Lord said in the above prophecy and what you can do to overcome the entrapments of the Enemy:
1) Don't yield to negative peer pressure. This is much easier said than done, I know, but avoiding negative peer pressure is something you must try to do if you're going to avoid falling into the traps of the Enemy. Of course, the main way to achieve this is to cry out to Jesus to give you the needed strength and conviction. Another way is to check out what your peers are saying with the Word. If someone is expounding or pontificating on their personal theory about love, sex, marriage, or advocating birth control, abortion, anal sex, etc., and what they're saying doesn't seem right, or you're not sure if it's right, then look it up in the Word. If your Home has a computer and the HomeARC, this is easy to do. When you see what the Lord says about it, then you'll know what's right and what's wrong. Knowing the Word on the subject helps you avoid the Devil's traps.
2) Check to see if your attitudes and thoughts are from the Word and the loving freedom of the Spirit, or if they're from the world and the bondage of the Enemy. Do the things you think about love, sex, relationships, marriage, sexual sharing and pregnancy go along with what the Lord says about them? Or are they opposite from the Word? If they are, then where are you getting them from? If they're not from God or according to His Word, then they're coming from the Enemy and the world!
3) Cry out desperately to the Lord, telling Him you only want His way and His thoughts, and that you're willing to do whatever He wants because He did everything for you! Yield all your thoughts and attitudes to the Lord and tell Him that if they're not of Him, you don't want them! Start reading the Word with an open mind, asking Him to help you accept what He has to say! Pray with all your heart, "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me!" (Psa.51:10).
4) Believe what the Lord says, that this self-righteousness, this lack of love, this lack of giving, this gossiping and talking behind each other's backs is not of Him.
5) Make a decision to believe what God says in His Word--not what the Devil whispers in your ear, not what your friends tell you, not what you hear on the radio or see on TV or in the movies or read in books.
6) Forsake your present thoughts and attitudes, and say, "Not my will, Lord, but Thine be done."
165.The Lord promises that if you do these things, He will then be able to wash you clean, remake you, and give you the freedom and love He so longs to give you. Remember, the Lord has given us a wonderful gift through the sexual freedom of the Law of Love, but in order to truly live it according to His plan, we must base our usage of it and our attitudes about it on His Word; otherwise we will misuse it and hurt others.
Your Responsibility to Share Even When You Have Someone Special in Your Life
166.Now I'll go back to the point I mentioned earlier about how it's just fine to have someone special who you're close to or in love with. Jesus understands that you may have a special love for one or two people. Obviously there's nothing wrong with loving someone deeply, like your mate or your steady boyfriend or girlfriend. After all, it's Jesus Who has placed such special love in your heart! But the problem is when you love only that one person and you aren't willing to love others also.
167.Loving someone special shouldn't stop you from pouring out love to others who also need it. In fact, it should make you all the more willing to give love to others, because the Lord has done a special thing for you in giving you someone very near and dear to you, and heaping His love upon you so richly! That should make you even more loving toward others, and willing to share with those who have much less love than you. Here's something the Lord said to you who have found that "special someone."
168.(Jesus speaking:) Think not that I would give you this love for you two alone, for the love of God that blossoms in the hearts of two made one is also for others! Therefore hold it not back and be not selfish, but giving! (End of message from Jesus.)
169.(Mama:) Think of that! One of the reasons that God gives a special relationship to two people is so they will share that love with others! First of all, He gives it as a blessing and a sign of His love for the couple, but then He expects them, as part of His plan, to unselfishly pass some of His love on to those who need it.
170.This of course brings us back to the points that were brought out in the first parts of this series, that we are under the obligation of love to help our brothers and sisters who are in need. "Whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him? If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, and one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit?" (1Jn.3:17; Jam.2:15-16). You'll notice the Word doesn't say that if you're married, or close to someone, or have a boyfriend or girlfriend, that it's okay to shut up your bowels of compassion or not give your brothers or sisters those things which are needful to the body. As Dad said,
171. Marriage makes no difference whatsoever when it comes to sharing each other with the Lord and His work and others. Our whole life is sharing! The whole principle of our whole Family is that we share! Do you mean to tell me that marriage means an end of sharing?--That sharing, which means our love for others, our love for each other, is to cease at marriage? Hmm? Do we stop loving others just because we get married? (ML #1395:2).
172.(Mama:) Obviously the answer to the questions Dad proposes in the above quote is no! Of course our love for others is not to cease when we get married! As I said, there's nothing wrong with being in love with someone or with having someone special in your life, but just don't let it stop you from loving others who need love. Don't let it stop you from being a vehicle of the Lord's love for someone.
Review of Responsibilities as Put Forth in Parts 4 and 5
173.The Lord has given us the wonderful blessing of being able to share sexually with one another. He's given us the Word on the subject that gives us the faith to have this intimacy with one another without sin. He's given us guidelines and even restrictions in order to keep us from hurting ourselves and others. He's shown us the reasons why we should share and the good fruit that will result. He's also shown us that all parties involved have responsibilities when they're sharing sexually. He's also spoken specifically to you second-generation Family members about your responsibilities in regards to sexual sharing under the Law of Love. Let's briefly review these responsibilities once again that were put forth in this GN and the one preceding it.
1) You junior teens who are 15 years and 9 months old are responsible to read with a parent or shepherd the 5 Letters or GNs listed on page 3 of GN 807 BEFORE you begin having sexual contact with others in your age group. (This is a new Charter amendment.)
2) You senior teens are responsible to read with a parent or shepherd this "Living the Lord's Law of Love" series in full BEFORE you begin having sexual contact with others in your age group. (This is a new Charter amendment.)
3) You are responsible to be open to shepherding regarding your sexual sharing and personal relationships.
4) You are responsible to not hurt others by unloving actions, especially through gossip.
5) You are responsible to have Word-based attitudes towards sex, sharing, pregnancy, and large families. You are to refrain from talking about or practicing unclean and unsafe sex acts.
6) You are responsible to be aware that pregnancy may very well occur if you have sexual intercourse. Therefore before the sexual activity begins, you must prayerfully make a mutual decision together if you are going to go all the way. If you haven't discussed the matter before the sexual activity begins, it is understood between you that you will not have intercourse. (This is a new Charter amendment.)
7) You senior teens are responsible to get permission from a resident parent(s) before you can engage in sexual intercourse. (Once parents give their 16- and 17-year-olds permission to leave home, the senior teens will then be free to make their own decisions regarding sexual intercourse once they have discussed the matter with their sharing partner.) (This is a new Charter amendment.)
8) You are responsible, in most cases, to marry your sex partner if a pregnancy occurs. The Lord wants you to seriously seek Him for His will in the matter, but He generally does want you to marry. If you choose not to marry, it is recommended that you request confirming prophecies from someone you trust--either your shepherds or parents (if you're a senior teen living with your parents)--which will help you to be sure you are finding the Lord's highest will for your lives. (This counsel still stands even if the woman told the man that she "wouldn't hold him responsible" if she were to get pregnant as a result of their fucking.)
9) If you were to choose to not go for the gold by using a condom, it does not change the three responsibilities mentioned above (points 6-8). If you choose to fuck with a condom, you must still prayerfully make a mutual decision together before the sexual activity begins. Senior teens must have permission from a parent or guardian before fucking, even with a condom. And if a baby should result from your fucking with a condom, the man is still responsible for that child, even though you "took matters into your own hands" to try to prevent pregnancy.
10) If you have created a child, unless you and the other person have prophecies from the Lord indicating that it's not His will for you to be together, you are responsible to make contact with each other and prayerfully determine where to go from here. This also applies to a man who had a child (or children) with a single woman (or women) but who has since gotten involved with someone else or gotten married. In the event that a married man contacts a woman he previously had a baby with, he would need to counsel with his wife each step of the way, as these are decisions he and his wife will need to make together.
However, if the mother and father of the child have already come to an agreement that you're both happy with, then there is no need to contact one another. Also, if a man fathered a child with a woman who has since gotten married, then they do not need to contact one another.
11) If you are a single woman who is pregnant, you are responsible to not deny your child a father. You are responsible to be very desperate in prayer, especially if you're considering not marrying the father of your child. You're not to make snap judgments, and should realize that your feelings of confidence will likely change after you actually have the baby, and you will feel the weight of the responsibility much more as the child grows older.
12) You are responsible to use the freedom to share sexually in a loving and mature manner.
13) You are responsible to live the Law of Love fully, not just sexually, which means being loving, kind and considerate to others in all matters, not just in sexual matters.
14) You are responsible to love without partiality. If your brother or sister has need, you have a responsibility to help fill that need.
15) You are responsible to use the freedoms given by the Law of Love in accordance with the Word.
16) You are responsible to share with others in need even if you have someone special in your life--a mate or steady boyfriend or girlfriend.
17) You are responsible to not pressure anyone to have sex with you. You are responsible to not use the counsel in these GNs about sacrificial sharing and sharing for the sake of unity to make people feel that they must share with you. If for whatever reason, someone would rather not share with you or can't give you as much love, affection or sex as you want or think you need, you are not to accuse that person of not living the Law of Love or of being selfish, etc. You are responsible to not make people feel bad or embarrassed or uncomfortable by being pushy, demanding, or forceful.
The Lord's Commission to the Children of David
174.I really appreciate the fact that you young people have read this GN and the previous one with open minds. I know this is strong meat and there are probably quite a few points brought up that are not that easy for you to swallow, but the Lord and I are trusting that your desire to be close to Him and to follow the New Wine will help motivate you to try to change and make progress in these areas.
175.At first, to live the Law of Love fully might seem like a huge sacrifice, and it may seem like there's nothing to really gain and lots to lose. But with time, as you grow and mature in experience and understanding, you'll see what a precious gift this is from the Lord's hand. Your lives will be fuller, richer, and much happier as you learn to give and receive His love in greater measure. Thank you for your willingness!
176.Here is one last message from the Lord, which emphasizes what a privilege it is for us to know the full truth of the Law of Love. I pray you'll take up this challenge and make whatever personal commitments the Lord lays on your heart, so you will be worthy of the great honor the Lord is bestowing upon the children of David--the opportunity to be an example of His full, great, unconditional love!
177.(Jesus speaking:) I set before each of My children an open door. Each generation, each great movement of My Spirit has come closer and closer, a step at a time--some more quickly and others at a slower pace. With each movement, each generation, new steps have been taken towards greater love, greater freedom, greater awareness, and greater obedience to My Law of Love.
178.Upon you, the children of David, I bestow the last great honor--the priceless privilege of giving all, of living all, of paving the way into total liberty and the realities of My Spirit. Unto you it is given to know the truths of My Kingdom. Unto you it is given to grow into full stature. Unto you it is given to grow in love, to live in love, that you may teach the world how to love.
179.Unto you, My precious children who know Me and love Me, who come when I call, and who beg to receive My seeds, it is given to live My Law of Love fully. Unto you it is given, as you learn to love, to usher in the Kingdom, to teach the world how to walk in love and live in love and live for love. Unto you it is given to prove that My Law of Love is holy and true, and it does not fail. It cannot fail, for on this Law of Love hangs all the law and all the prophets! (End of message from Jesus.)
180.(Mama:) What a commission! Are you able? Are you up to the challenge? Are you ready and willing? You will be if you simply call out to the Lord and ask Him to make you into the vessel of His love that He wants you to be. He is more than able to do so! He is eager and excited to give you the power, anointing and love that you need to fulfill His plan and do your part to usher in His Kingdom and teach the world how to live in love and for love. Long live love! Long live the Law of Love! Long live the children of Love! God bless and keep you loving!
Much love, prayers, and gratitude,
Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family