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FSM 329                CM                Lessons in The Law of Love

Copyright © 1998 by The Family--4/98.


                Lessons in the Law of Love       1

                Through New Eyes                10

                My Personal Test                 11

Practicing unconditional love ... leads to heart's desire.

By Becky (Chinese), Japan

                It is a temptation to think, "Why doesn't the Lord give me this or that? Why doesn't He answer my prayers?" I used to think like this, but the Lord answered this question, and blessed me with His love! My story shows you how the Lord showered me with His blessings after I simply said yes to Him.

How to look at FFing

                Before 1994, FFing had never made any sense to me, even though I'd been in the Family for 16 years. Because of the special circumstances in China (see FIAs 16-18), I had skipped that part and never learned any lessons from it. Even though I could understand it theoretically, I could not think of putting it into practice. I told myself that I did not have what it takes.

                FFing had been discontinued long before, so having to practice it was not the point. The point was that my attitude towards FFing was not right. The Lord wanted me to see what is behind the concept of FFing and what love is all about!

                I had been learning various lessons after I moved to the IVM, fighting loneliness and also discouragement about myself. I knew the Lord wanted me to learn to put Him first and not hold onto people as much as I had done in the past, so He had taken away many of the people I was close to. In this state I was learning lessons of depending on Him and yielding to Him.

                Learning to understand what FFing (which the Family practiced in the past) meant, or rather learning to practice God's unconditional love, was the toughest lesson for me.--But it turned out to be a key which led me straight to the treasure of the Lord.

                It was the autumn of 1993, a little while after I had moved to the IVM, when I had a very nice talk time with my sweet shepherdess one day. For my battles with discouragement and loneliness, she tried to encourage me to associate with others more. She even asked me if I wanted to have a date with one of the men in our Home. That scared me!

                "No! I can't!" I said immediately. "You see, I'm Chinese," I explained. "I have had only one man in my life. For the sake of security, I didn't get involved in FFing while I was in China, and I never had a date after I came to Japan. I just can't imagine how I could have sex with someone who's not my husband or at least a person who I'm in love with!"

                She was very sweet about it. She said, "Oh, you don't have to have sex if you don't want to. But you might want to try some kind of fellowship with others and get to know them. Maybe you can have a partner for a 'Word date,' which means you would have a reading partner for some Word time. And maybe you also can have get-out together sometimes. Why don't you pray about it?"

                Two weeks later, my sweet shepherdess told me that she would suggest to a very sweet single brother that he team up with me for Word dates. I was wondering if that brother might think that I was very strange to hold myself back and only have Word dates with him. But my shepherdess told me that I didn't have to worry about that, because she had already explained my situation to him and asked him if he would like to help me catch up on my Word reading projects. She said that he could understand that and was willing to help me.

                Hearing of his willingness, I felt even more ashamed inside for holding myself back. I said that I felt sorry for him teaming up with me and not somebody else, because I could not give him more than what I had faith for! My shepherdess comforted me that I didn't need to feel bad for him because he didn't expect more from me than a reading partner. Also there was another single sister who had been having dates with him. So everything was fine and we could just enjoy the fellowship. I felt a little better after I heard this.

Starting "Word dates"

                Having a "Word date" was a new thing for me, and I asked my roommate, who was also single, to pray for me. She encouraged me to just do what I had the faith for, and that my partner was very sweet and would understand. I went to my "appointment" after she prayed for me, and the Word date went very well. We had very sweet and honest communication after the Word time. I was touched by the understanding and love from our brethren.

                I had regular Word dates with him, and we became very good friends. Our friendship was honest, simple and sweet. We had both been hurt from past experiences, so we wanted to be single to avoid a possible new hurt. We were both quite reserved and had certain boundaries in our hearts. We tried our best to respect each other's feelings and never went across the line between us. He never criticized my stubbornness about not wanting to have sex with anybody, but just left it in the Lord's hands. The understanding which he gave me often touched my heart and made me very thankful to have him as a friend.

                My roommate, a very precious sister, was a big blessing to me during that time, especially in helping me understand how to look at FFing (which though a matter of the past, I still had questions about). Because I used to think that FFing didn't make any sense, she often tried very patiently to explain it to me. She never looked down on or criticized me, but prayed for me a lot.

                In the depths of my heart, I knew if the Lord had planned to teach me the Law of Love and wanted to correct my attitude towards FFing, I could never get away from it. The FFing days are over, but the Law of Love isn't. My heart told me that no matter if I wanted to or not, I must take this course sooner or later.

What is love all about?

                As the days passed, my heart was more troubled. I began to think very seriously about what love is all about.--On one hand, I knew that love loves others as yourself, and that love would lay down one's life for a friend. But on the other hand, I had no faith nor courage to give myself like my roommate did. I could not even think of taking off my clothes in front of someone that I was not in love with. Just the thought of it would make me shiver. I didn't know what to do! Or maybe I should say, I did know what to do, but I didn't want to yield myself to it. It would be like death. It would be too humbling and humiliating for me.

                Finally I went to see my shepherd and told him about my battles. I said that what bothered me was that I didn't have the faith to practice what I believed. I said to him, "I know that I am selfish at this point. I could be more sacrificial and giving and show love to our single brethren by helping them sexually. But because of my background, I just cannot do it. I'm so discouraged about myself. What should I do?"

                My shepherd was very sweet and patient. He said that I didn't need to blame myself, but just continue to do what I had faith for, because whatever is not of faith is sin. He comforted me that maybe my time had not come yet, because when the time comes the Lord would give me the faith, courage and peace to do so. Meanwhile there were thousands of ways I could show God's love to others, as long as I did it with my whole heart.

                I was a little bit surprised to hear what he had to say, because I was expecting that he would give me a big class about sacrificial love and rebuke my selfishness, but he didn't. He gave me the love and understanding which I needed from the Lord. That deeply moved me and gave me a lot of hope!

                It was after that that a sweet brother took me on some special outings to the beach and to the mountains on rest days. The Lord was showing me His love from every side. I had asked the Lord for friends in my loneliness and desperation, and He sent me precious friends from everywhere. I felt so blessed.

A surprise gift--a special date!

                At Christmas of 1993, the Lord gave me a special gift in His love. He gave me an opportunity to have a date with one of my close friends (a different person than the one I was having Word dates with). It sounds funny, doesn't it? I had a date at a time when I thought it would never happen to me. It happened like a dream; the Lord blessed it and it was beautiful. The love which the Lord showered on me was far more than sex could express.

                This was the first time I had been with someone intimately after I became single, and this person was the second man in my life who I had shared with. The Lord planned what happened in order to let me know that He was not just requiring me to give, but He also wanted to give me His love. He wanted me to learn from His love in order to turn around and give it to others later on.

                That was a turning point in my life. In this date He gave me a role which was not to give love, but to receive. The Lord used this to change my attitude and my way of looking at and feeling things. He let me walk a mile in the shoes of people who need love. I felt how much it meant to be given love and understanding when I really needed it. It showed me that God's love has no measure and no boundaries.

Unconditional love for others

                A while later, the person who had that date with me came to our Home for a visit. He asked me if I had had dates with anyone else since then. I said no.

                "Why?" he asked.

                I answered, "I didn't want to!" He told me that the problem was right here.--I should not just do whatever I want to do, but whatever the Lord wants me to do.

                He said, "It's the giving that counts. You need to learn how to love and give unconditionally. It will include giving yourself away! The Lord will bless you if you give yourself to Him and others! Sometimes because of your pride you might feel hurt, but that's how we learn the lessons."

                These words struck my heart--unconditional love! That was what I had been missing! I knew that he was right and that the Lord was talking to me through him. I had been learning to give--to give my help, my time, my things and my love to others; but I never thought that I needed to give myself away, even my body too! And I never thought that these are included in His unconditional love!

                This point reminded me of our FFers in those FFing days--how much it must have cost them to humble themselves in order to practice the Law of Love in saving this world! Slowly but surely, the Lord drew me near to the true lesson He wanted me to learn.

Promises from God for 1995

                January 1st, 1995 (my birthday), was a new page of my life. I received three birthday cards on my birthday, and each of them contained verses for my coming year. The neat thing was that if I joined those verses together, it was as if they were given by one person. They completed a promise that would answer my prayers! Following are some of the verses that I was given:

                The card from two dear friends had this verse: "The Lord hath called thee in righteousness, and will hold thine hand, and will keep thee; and give thee for a covenant of the people, for a light of the Gentiles. Behold, the former things are come to pass, and new things do I declare: Before they spring forth I tell you of them" (Isaiah 42:6,9). I was wondering what "covenant" the Lord would give me. It sounded exciting!

                The card from another shepherdess had: "Thou shalt weep no more: He will be very gracious unto thee at the voice of thy cry; When He shall hear it, He will answer thee" (Isaiah 30:19b). Nobody could imagine how important this was to me, because I had shed so many tears during 1994. I wept for so many things. I wept because of the unbearable physical pain from gallstones. I wept because my daughters needed a father's care. I wept because I had to forsake my emotions for the ones I loved. The times I wept the most was when I was in desperation. I cried to the Lord for help, and He heard me and answered me. I would "weep no more"! What a promise!

                On the card from a shepherd it said: "He that loveth Me shall be loved of My Father, and I will love him, and will manifest Myself to him" (John 14:21b).--"For He spake and it was done; He commanded and it stood fast" (Psalm 33:9). He also wrote, "I pray Jesus will continue to be a greater part of your life this year and, as He promised in His Word, that He will 'manifest' Himself to you as you live with Him!"

                I saw the Lord's promises, but there were also very, very important conditions: I must fully surrender my own will and give my all to Him unreserved. I must live for Him wholeheartedly and unconditionally. Then the blessing would come!

                These were the best birthday gifts I could have ever had! On that day, I prayed and asked the Lord to help me reach those goals. I really wanted to be yielded to the new in this coming new year.

A covenant!--The Lord shows me what will happen in the future, if I obey!

                When I asked Him about the "covenant" on the first birthday card, He explained it, and He also gave me a promise! He said: "I shall seal your heart for man, with My Word, until the day when a man comes with My key. You will not be able to fall in love with anyone before My permission comes upon you. This is the covenant between Me and you. Keep it deeply in your heart. Learn your lessons. Pray without ceasing. Wait for Me patiently. I will reveal and unfold this covenant before you. I will send a man into your life with My key to unseal your heart. You both will love Me together. When he comes you will know. He will say: 'I love you.' He will say: 'I want to marry you because I love you.' Fleece: I shall give you permission and grace to love this person whom you might not personally be in love with in the beginning. As a proof of this fleece, you will know that My promise, the covenant, will have been fulfilled: You will have a husband and your children will have a real father."

                I believed that if I could learn the lessons which the Lord was requiring, He would "manifest" Himself to me. I had no doubt that the Lord would bring His "covenant" to pass!

The decision to yield completely, because of the Word

                In 1995, my notebook was full of quotes from the GNs that year and they changed my heart. Mama was talking about full surrender, unselective yieldedness, and non-filtered love for Jesus in many GNs. Especially after reading "Just Say Yes to Jesus," I searched the depths of my heart: What was the last corner that I still reserved for myself and didn't want to say yes to Jesus about?--Something I had never wanted to say yes to was to give myself and my body away.

                The time came when I knew I must make the decision of whether I wanted to say yes to Jesus unreservedly and unselectively. It was a very painful process. I felt that it could be like death for me. I asked myself, "Am I willing to lay down my life and die for the Lord and others?" To be honest, it took me a while to make my decision. In order to obtain the courage that I needed, I had to go to the Word and spend more time with the Lord.

                The Word from those GNs was echoing in my heart. "Fear not to die this death. ... The resurrection is truly a reality. …The life of the spirit that I would bring forth out of thy death can be more powerful, more magnificent than thou dost realize in the natural.--And this death, this end of thine own self, the end of thine own power, the end of thine own resources, the end of thy strength, the end of thy toughness, the end of thy fighting, the end of all that is within thine own power, how it hurts and pains for a moment (Excerpts from the Prophecies for Peter:39,40,41, GN 632).

                "For the very thing that thou hast feared giving and which hast frightened thee to the very core of thy being, is the very thing that is setting thee free. …Fear not, for I will reward thee for thy giving, because as thou dost give, it shall be given unto thee. ... So fear not, but love and give, because it is in thy giving that thou dost receive, and it is in thy dying that thou art born again" (Peter Letter #80:118,124,125; GN 634).

                I thought, What more do I need! The answer is right here! And that was the day when I made my decision to be totally surrendered and yielded, to give my all to the Lord. I gave up the very last thing which I had kept so tight till that day, the very thing which I had feared to give out and the very thing which had frightened me to the very core of my being.

                I told myself that my old self had died and ended; everything from that point on would belong to the new. At that moment, I bowed myself down and talked to the Lord. I told Him the decision I had made.

                When I was done, my heart felt much lighter! I felt that I was set free! It was just as simple as the Word says in the Letter "Just Say Yes to Jesus": "All you have to do is forget the past, drop the old, let go of it and say yes to the new and it's there for you! He's going to make you new creatures."

                I told the Lord, "From this day on, I don't belong to myself any more. I was bought by the price of Your blood, so I belong to You. Whoever needs me and asks me for a date, I will be willing to say yes--not to man but to You!"

The Lord acts on my decision!

                Two days after I made that commitment, the Lord tested me! It was a nice sunny day, and my reading partner and I had our prayer vigil outside, then we took a walk after that. We'd been having Word dates for about two years now, but had still never gone beyond that. We were talking about the new GNs and sharing the lessons we had learned. In the end, he smiled at me and said, "I was wondering if after all these years Becky has changed? Do you want to have a date with me?"

                He laughed. He knew me so well, and by the way he laughed I knew that he didn't even mean it at that moment. But it was not a joke to me. I had just told the Lord that whoever asked me for a date, I would say yes! So I said, "Yes!"

                That shocked him! He said, "Oh, no! You don't have to! I didn't mean to push you. At least you need to pray about it."

                "I have prayed already!"

                "How come? I've never asked you before!"

                I told him how I had been praying for quite a long time about all these things, and that I had made a commitment to the Lord.

                I said, "I just said yes to the Lord two days ago, and told Him that whoever asks me, I was going to say yes. It just so happens that you are the first person who asked me. I feel that by doing this I will give myself to the Lord."

                I knew that the Lord would test me, but I didn't expect things to happen so quickly--only two days after I promised Him! I also didn't think that the Lord would use my Word date partner. We knew each other so well that I felt that it might be more difficult for me to humble myself to him.

                The following quotes in a devotional book caught my eye after I came back from that walk, "From this day will I bless you" (Haggai 2:19).--"God has certain dates from which He begins to bless us. On the day of consecration, the days when our all is surrendered to Him--on that day untold blessing begins."

My first step by faith

                If it was not easy to make this commitment, then the harder part was to carry it out. The time came when I needed to put my words into action. It may not be a big deal to others, but it was a big deal for me.

                I prayed before I went. I felt a little strange, but I reminded myself that the Lord had died for me and now it was time for me to die for Him. I knew I should give the Lord's love to my friend. These thoughts gave me the courage I needed at that moment and helped me reach his door.

                Before I stepped into his room, I realized my whole body was shivering. Standing outside, I told myself, "Wait a minute! You are not going to see him with all this shivering! Don't act so miserable! You will make him feel very bad! If the Lord loves him, He will want him to be happy!"

                At that instant, outside his door, my eyes were suddenly opened and I saw what FFing was all about. It started to make sense to me!--Why did those FFers sacrifice themselves to all kinds of people? Not because they fell in love with those people, but because they presented their bodies a living sacrifice to show God's love to the needy. My shepherd's words came true right then: Faith, courage and peace descended over me. I knocked on his door.

                The other hard part was to overcome my pride. It killed me to take off my clothes in front of a person who I was not in love with! It was the most humiliating moment of my entire life! As the Word says, "Humility before God is nothing if not proved in humility before man" (MOP 61:51).

                One thing that kept me from running away was to call on to the Lord from my heart at every second and tell Him that I was there for Him--not because I had to be, but because I wanted to be. It was something between the Lord and me, and as I made this step, I felt I was giving myself to the Lord.

The Lord strengthens me

                The miracle had happened to me--my attitude towards FFing was completely changed. FFing was not ridiculous to me anymore, and it began to make sense.

                But the Devil was not so happy about the victory I had just gotten, and he gave me all kinds of doubts to try to stop me. A sister whom I felt close to moved to our Home around that time. She had been an FFer in the early days of FFing. In my desperation, the Lord told me I should humble myself and talk to her. She was very sweet and listened to my battles, then she chose some Letters to read with me. She told me many beautiful testimonies from her own experiences, and encouraged me to fight. She said that nothing was more important in FFing than love. The only thing that counts is God's love!

                She said, "If you love someone for the Lord, He will bless you! And I'm not just saying this to comfort you, I'm saying this because it's true! I have seen it with my own eyes! I have seen the fruits. So don't give up!"

                I had dates with this brother for about six months, and it was a rough time for me, but I learned many lessons. Now I can understand better what the Word says, "Every time something comes along that is difficult for us to do--that we know the Lord wants us to do, and we want to do too, but because of our pride we don't want to--we need to be pretty militant in making sure we do whatever it is and not get too lazy and just let it slide.

                "If you're calling the shots and you're the one who's deciding when you're going to be yielded and when you aren't, then you're not really yielded. Yieldedness is faith to accept whatever the Lord has for you; it's a general acceptance. Yieldedness is saying, 'Whatever You want, I will do.'

                "You have to have a change of heart and spirit to where you show affection automatically and it's part of your spirit. It needs to be part of your being, part of your personality. You have to let the Lord change you enough so you are just automatically affectionate because you love people. It's simply part of your love for people" (ML #2992:61,89,98).

Learning not to judge but to comfort, as I had been comforted

                To learn to understand others was a very important lesson for me. I found that a lot of times when people acted in a certain way, it was simply because they had had a broken life in the past. But it took a while for me to learn this.

                During the two years I had Word dates with my reading partner, even though we were very good friends, we kept our friendship at a certain distance in order to keep it simple, and we hardly had any problems. But after we started having dates, we got to know each other more personally, and some problems were revealed. We saw each other's shortcomings more than before, as well as the good points.

                On top of that, my children started to complain that they were being teased. Their peers said that I was going to get married with Uncle So-and-so. Funny enough, a few people began to joke with me about that, too. They said that I should marry him, because he liked me. That is not true! I thought. I didn't like that idea at all! I felt very strange and uneasy.

                Meantime my partner felt even worse than I did. He was very nervous about what people would think of us. To protect himself, he got even more reserved than before. We were having dates, but we didn't feel close to each other any more. I felt that there was a thick wall between us and that I could never reach his heart. I was sure he probably felt the same way about me. We were in a funny situation.

                Once while we were having a date, for some reason we were talking about the heart. I said, "If you always keep your heart so closed, it might be hard for you to touch any girl's heart."

                He said, "I don't know if I want to touch any girl's heart." I knew it had nothing to do with me, but I just didn't like what he said. It made me feel that he was a cold-blooded creature. At that time I didn't even try to understand him or comfort his broken heart. I felt very bothered about this whole thing.

                A little later, at night while I was just about to fall asleep, I heard a voice talking to me. It mentioned his name. The unbelievable thing was that the voice said he could be a very good husband for me and a real father for my children. That was unbelievable!!! How come I was hearing this type of thing from everywhere? I shook my head and tried to see if I was okay. It must be the Devil's voice, I thought. I don't see any sign that it can be true! He doesn't look like the man I want to marry! I'm not in love with him, and I don't think that I would ever marry him either!

                Within a few days, the same voice came to me three times. Finally I had to shut my ears to it, because I didn't want to hear it. I was really going through a hard time!

                Finally the Lord taught me a deep lesson. He showed me that I had no reason to accuse this brother, because I was even worse.--I was trying to judge him for keeping his heart closed and that was self- righteousness. I wasn't really loving him the way Jesus did me.

                Shortly afterwards, I had a chance to see my old friend who I hadn't seen for quite a long time. I shared some lessons I had been learning, and also the trials that had been bothering me lately. My friend didn't judge me, but he told me something from his heart, "Becky, I think you have to look at things in a different way. Do you know why he acted like that, why he wrapped himself up so tightly? Because he got hurt before. He has had a tough time in his life. He doesn't want to get hurt again. You need to understand him. What he really needs is love!"

                Even though my friend didn't say that I was being self-righteous, I felt that the Lord was warning me through him right on the spot.--The Lord reminded me to put myself in his shoes in order to understand my partner and be a comforter to him, as He always was to me.

                After that, the Lord began to change my heart towards him. I tried to see him in the way the Lord saw him. Things went much easier after that.

"The Lord shall open unto thee His good treasure" (Deut.28:12)

                It was December of 1995. Within that year the Lord had blessed me in so many ways. As He had promised, He had first sealed my heart to man in order to help me give Him first place. I felt such contentment and satisfaction just having the Lord Himself alone. The Lord had also proven His Word, "Thou shalt weep no more," and His glad countenance had appeared on me. It is very hard to fully express the thankfulness I felt towards the Lord!

                On December 4th, after my reading partner and I read the Word together, we talked about the GN that had just come out, "Go for the Gold!" (ML #2961). After we shared a few lessons, he told me that the Lord had given him a special love for me. I was a little surprised because he had always been very careful about using those kinds of words. Also, I wanted to wait until the Lord gave me His permission to be emotionally involved with someone again, as He had asked me to do at the beginning of the year in His promise to me. So I said, "Oh! That's very sweet of you. Thank you!"

                This brother was very different that day, and I could see that the Lord had spoken to his heart. Who is he? He is our Family artist, Philippe La Plume.

                Philippe came to me the next day. To my surprise, he again told me that the Lord had put a burden on his heart and he wanted to marry me. Since I had some difficulties with my paperwork, I thought that he wanted to help me with my legal situation. I said, "Really? Do you know what a tough situation you might get yourself into?"

                He said, "I know what you mean. But I'm not going to just marry you on paper. I'm going to marry you for real." I was so shocked!

                Did I really hear that?! That is not from him! I thought. I could not believe my ears. What had happened to him? He was like a different person!

                I could see that he was really serious about this, and I felt a little confused. I asked him: "Why? Why do you want to marry me? You don't have to!"

                He answered, "I know I don't have to, but I want to because I love you!" I could hardly believe that he actually said he loved me! It was not like the Philippe I used to know--shy and reserved. Then he stressed, "I want to marry you because I love you." I was even more shocked because he said the same words that were mentioned in the "covenant," the Lord's promise, which no one knew about except the Lord and me!

                He also told me that he wanted to take care of my three daughters and be their father. The rest of the story is related in FSM 319, "Love Working in Our Lives," how the Lord brought us through tests of faith.

                For my side, I saw that the Lord had wanted me to yield to His plan and never doubt His promise nor His timing.

Confirmation of the "covenant"!

                After Philippe proposed to me, I was sick for more than a month. During that time, I wasn't able to take care of my children. Philippe came to help me and my children whenever he could till I got better. Then to add to my humbling, when I had just gotten over the pneumonia, I fell down accidentally. I sprained my ankle and tore the ligaments in three different places, and my arm and wrist were also injured. I had to wear a cast on my left foot and bandages on my left arm and wrist, and I had to use crutches. I wasn't able to move freely for a few weeks.

                Philippe kept coming to help me and my children, when he could find the time. Sometimes he had to carry me around. It was a very humbling time for me, but the love he had for us meant a lot to my children and me.

                During this period, I had more time to seek the Lord. I learned so much that I couldn't have learned any other way. In the "covenant," the Lord had told me that I could ask Him for His grace to love the person He sent, even if I wasn't in love with him in the beginning. I thought that if I could obtain that love, I would know His covenant was being fulfilled.

                So I prayed wholeheartedly and asked the Lord for His love. Not so long after that, His voice started echoing within my heart, "If you still don't love a person like this, what kind of person do you want?!" The Lord's question made me think deeply. Besides the fact that we had been friends more than three years, he had done so much for my children and me during my sickness. It would be easy to do what he had done once in a while, but not every single day for three months. It took a lot of love to help us like this! What else was I expecting?

                I asked the Lord to change the way I looked at him, and as I saw how much he did for us, I was so touched. I started to like him and love him more and more. I thanked the Lord for His love, and thanked Him for His mercy for my children and me!

The Lord kept His promises to me

                On the 1st of March, 1996, the Lord spoke beautifully through His prophecies in a prophecy meeting. Following are excerpts:

                "I call you this day to engage in the act of matrimony and to take that which was one and that which was solitary and put them together as a family. ... I shall take thee, Philippe, and make thee a father unto these which have been without for such a time. ... Look unto Me and your face shall be lightened and your marriage shall be built upon the Rock, and you shall have great reward and fruit for your labors."

                The Lord had fulfilled what He had promised me in His covenant: By God's grace and love, in His time, Philippe joined my three daughters and me, and we started a new family with our new lives. Since then, the Lord has been blessing us day by day. I want to testify that the Lord has done a very special thing in my life and has manifested Himself to me personally, and has also done a marvelous thing for my children!

                Mama said in GN 638: "The Lord loves us, folks! He really really loves us! He keeps saying that He loves us as a lover. How does a lover love? If you're in love with someone very deeply, don't you overlook a lot of their faults?--You overlook things constantly. So try to get that in your mind, that that's the way the Lord is with us. He looks at us so lovingly and just wants to help us to make it. He does every thing He can to make it easy for us and to help us to enjoy Him and enjoy the life He's given us. ... That's the way I wish all of you could feel about the Lord's love, and never doubt it" (ML #2995:35,37).

                The Lord has been giving me so many blessings that I could never have dreamed of, and I could never thank Him enough. As my dear shepherdess said, "How sweet the Lord is! After you said yes to Jesus and stepped out by faith, not by feeling or sight, the Lord showered His blessings on you with feeling and sight--a mate, husband, and father for your children."

                If this miracle can happen in my life, it can happen to anybody else too.

From Matthew Fighter, Kazakhstan

                Since the RNR I have never had any battles with the Law of Love, especially since it set us free sexually, and I mostly applied it to sex. All through the years I have shared sexually a lot, and shared my wife a lot, too. In recent years I have learned to apply it to other areas as well.

                As I'd thought this had been a strong area of my life, I was a little puzzled when the Lord laid a strong burden on my heart to pray to be able to live the Law of Love more in all areas of my life -- not just sex. I figured, well, I haven't arrived, I could always use more love, so I said, "OK, Lord, I'll do it."

                Then He told me to read Psalm 119--the whole thing--and wherever it said "law" or "statute" replace it with "Law of Love." Wow! What a beautiful feeding time it was. The whole Psalm just came alive and was so meaningful. In my early days in the Family, that Psalm was quoted a lot and was a foundation stone for me, teaching me to look to the Word for strength. Later when we started sharing and living the Law of Love, the verses that contained the words "law" or "statute" became dry for me, as they didn't seem as applicable any more. So this experience brought this Psalm to life for me once again. Thank You, Jesus!

Verses from Psalm 119, adapted:

                Blessed are the undefiled in the way, who walk in the Law of Love.

                O that my ways were directed to keep Thy Law of Love!

                With my whole heart have I sought Thee: O let me not wander from Thy Law of Love.

                Blessed art Thou, O Lord: teach me Thy Law of Love.

                Open Thou mine eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of Thy Law of Love.

                I will run the way of Thy Law of Love, when Thou shalt enlarge my heart.

(Vs. 1,5,10,12,18,32, and so on! Try it!)


From an adult female

Dearest Mama,

                God bless you. I love you so much. Thank you for sharing "Birthday Yieldedness" with us (ML# 3141, GN750). It convicted me more than anything I've read in a long time. When I read it, the Lord immediately spoke to me with every word you shared about yieldedness, because I've been holding back for several months now in not being willing to share my husband with a single mother who recently came to our Home. I can list all my reasons and excuses which I felt justified my holding back, but when I read your Letter it immediately cut through every excuse.

                I had been thinking, I've given enough! The Lord wouldn't expect it of me, and why can't some of the other guys help too?--as I'm sharing my husband regularly with other women in the Home, including another single mom. It hasn't always been easy, as I've had battles with jealousy at times over the past few years.

                My husband loves me very much and makes sure I know I'm first in his love and the one he needs the most and that he can't do without me, God bless him. But it's been even harder as I've gotten older, with both of us nearly 50 now. He's young-looking and women love him, as he's very loving and outgoing and fun. Whereas now that I'm older, I don't feel like I'm pretty anymore, or attractive to other men. Maybe partly because of my shyness or pride, I don't make the first step and I don't end up sharing much, which makes it a lot harder. When I was younger and prettier and shared with others during times he shared, it wasn't as hard and I didn't get hit so much.

                So when this young mother first came, I had prayed about it and wanted for him to share with her, as she needed it and she was getting hardly any dates from the other guys in the Home. But I didn't know if I had the grace for it. I just didn't think the Lord would expect that of me. Basically I said, "Everything but this, Lord. Surely You must understand." So when I received your Letter, it hit me so hard. It said, "I realized I had yielded in other areas, but I hadn't in this one. … One or two great yieldings are not enough. We have to keep yielding. … So I felt that if there was anything I was holding back … I'd better get it straightened out right away or the Lord would be quite sad and disappointed and probably wouldn't be able to bless me for it. …That was the one thing that was standing in the way of my being yielded and receiving the blessing of the Lord. The Lord had spoken to my heart very strongly about this and I was very certain of what I was supposed to do. … The Lord gave me beautiful promises that He would be with me … and would help … me, and that it wouldn't be too difficult" (ML #3141:17,19-21).

                So I had to make a decision by faith--as I didn't feel I had the grace--to give Him everything and hold nothing back, and as you said, I cried out to Him for His power and strength to say yes.

                It was difficult, fearful, and heavy on my heart, as now I knew what I had to do in order to partake fully of His favor and blessings. I realized that He did expect it of me, and I cried, knowing how hard it would be and wondering how I'd do. But as you said, it is really such a small thing in comparison with the very great things He's given me. I knew that He always blesses giving, and that He would have to bless it and help me be able to do it. As you said in another Letter, to share him with others is just my tithe, my 10% for the Lord giving me such a wonderful life and caring husband. And as the Word says, it's not a sacrifice if it doesn't cost anything, so I'm happy to be able to give to Him until it hurts.

                Thank you Mama for the encouragement not to be afraid to yield and to remember how the Lord told you that: "As you give of your husband for the sake of your kingdom, I will give you a closer relationship with him"--along with wisdom, power and love and courage. (See paragraph 116.)

                So I've done it! I've given him, shared him with her! The Lord gave me the grace and it wasn't too hard. I'm happy I did, and by faith I will continue giving until the Lord comes back. I want to thank you, dear Mama, for giving me the faith that came from His Words through you and through your sample. Thank you, my dearest Queen Maria. As the quote said, "Your sample will ring out far and wide throughout all the land, and this day will be a celebration of yieldedness throughout all the Kingdom and the hearts of the children of David! They will rejoice with you! They will feel the conviction of My Spirit working in their lives, and they too will move forward step by step to greater yieldedness. … So shall you see that your sample of yieldedness will multiply again and again and again! It will be a chain reaction--one which will bring forth great power and great fruitfulness! … So let this day be a celebration of yieldedness!"

                I pray it encourages you, dear Mama, that your labors are not in vain and your sacrifices and sample are multiplied in the lives of us, your blessed children. Thank you for sacrificing dear Peter for us, and thank you, dear Peter, for sacrificing by being away from Mama for our sakes. All of the "Summit" and "Bellwether" videos have been such a wonderful blessing to us and all your children here.

Much, much love and prayers,

Your devoted servant


Copyright (c) 1997 by The Family