Home » Children of God Publications » Loving Jesus Reactions - Part 3

The Family / Children of God

Internal Publications and Secret Directives

DISCLAIMER: The sole purpose of this page is to document the existence of a publication produced by The Family International a.k.a. The Family, Family of Love, Children of God and various pseudonyms (hereon referred to as TFI). It is provided for the record, for educational and research purposes, with the principal aim of promoting accountability by the TFI for its teachings and statements, which have proven detrimental to the lives of many. By replicating this material, exFamily.org neither endorses the views expressed in this publication nor justifies the existence of this publication and its statements. Reader discretion is advised. The material on this page may be unsuitable for minors and may contain disturbing words of racism, hate mongering, directives to unhealthy lifestyles and/or criminal activity, and/or contain plagiarized works.
THIS PUBLICATION MAY HAVE BEEN "SANITIZED." This digital format of this publication was extracted from TFI's HomeARC 99, which was subjected to encryption and editing by TFI, who, in order to hide its controversial writings and thus escape moral and/or legal accountability for past/present core beliefs and directives, sanitized (edited) and purged (deleted, destroyed, burned) its texts—both printed and electronic. Where possible, exFamily.org has compared this digital material with the cult's original paper-printed versions to ensure that this publication accurately reflects the original, uncensored version. Locations where the text has obviously or potentially been sanitized is hilighted with bright-red [DELETED] or [EDITED] markers.

FSM 293 DO
"Loving Jesus" Reactions - Part 3
--Reactions to the "Loving Jesus" GNs, Parts 3 through 6

(c) Copyrighted May 1996, The Family, Zurich, Switzerland
For Junior Teens and Up Only!

       ({\ul \i Editor's note}: This FSM is mainly comprised of reactions to the "Loving Jesus" series by some of our teens and younger adults. These reactions were written shortly after the Birthday Feast. Lord willing, there will be more testimonies from other young people and adults coming later. We felt that both young and old alike would benefit from reading these inspiring testimonies of faith from our young people. Praise the Lord!)


"Loving Jesus" Brought the Breakthrough I Prayed For!
-- From a Male Senior Teen

       These Letters were wonderful, and just what I needed in my life. I felt like a bird on its first day of flight, exhilarating! Refreshing! Wow! I've tried my best to be close to the Lord, but oftentimes I've felt that there could be more, and I've spent many nights praying for a breakthrough. I've felt close to Jesus and I've tried to do my best to be faithful, yet I always seemed to look at this as a duty or requirement, to "achieve" a "good day." Though I enjoyed and cherished my times with Jesus, I often felt discouraged because I didn't feel compelled to spend time with Him just out of love for Him -- it was more like another check on my good works chart. Lord help me!
       This "Loving Jesus" revelation has changed all of that. Praise God! I now feel a beautiful, warm spark of love in my life through trying for myself this wonderful way of loving Jesus! I pray that He will fan that spark into an inferno of His Love that will light up all those I meet and witness to.
       Before reading the "Loving Jesus" GNs, I'd had questions in my heart about the whole concept in the Word of "lovemaking with Jesus," as I never felt I could apply it. I'd always wondered what it would be like to be a woman, and to be able to have that extra special way of loving Jesus. -- I figured that most of our Family women were already doing this, as it was such a common illustration in the Letters, and it seemed to me it would be fairly easy for women to do. Then there were us men. I figured, "Well, lovemaking with Jesus is nice as a symbol, but I guess we'll just have to settle for having the Lord as our Savior and Friend." This was already wonderful enough, so I figured how men and women relate to the Lord must just be "different strokes for different folks."
       But this new Word brings so much more life and meaning to the illustration of Jesus and His Bride for me. -- It is no longer just a figure of speech or a word picture, but a living, intimate part of my relationship with the Lord. Praise You Jesus! Jesus is no longer "close to me" but He is "one with me," a part of me.
       I've also had trials previously, thinking, "Are we still a revolution?" I felt that in some ways we in the Family had toned down many of our radical doctrines, or they had become "theory only," without much practical application. Well, the revolution continues!
       Lastly, I've heard of and seen many relationships falling apart because they forgot to keep Jesus in first place, and this has also been the case in my life sometimes. Now, however, I don't see how you could exclude the Lord from a relationship, if you spend time -- and even sometimes in love-making -- loving Jesus together. So praise the Lord, I believe this will be a lifesaver or safeguard for relationships!
       In conclusion, I think this new wine is terrific and couldn't taste better, nor could the "high" that is promised (guaranteed) by the wine-maker, Jesus, be any better. I believe it is bearing fruit in my life. Thank you so much, Mama and Peter, for your faith and guidance. So here's to "new life, new love!"


The Answer to My Deepest Prayers!
-- From a Male Second-Generation Adult

       This revelation is an answer to my deepest prayers! For years I've been desiring to have a deeper, closer relationship with the Lord, and yet I've felt like I just couldn't attain it, or I didn't know how. But making love with Jesus in the spirit is the key I've been waiting for!
       At first, the thought of being a woman in the spirit when loving Him intimately seemed very weird to me and was hard to accept. But as we continued reading, I realized that the only reason I found it difficult was because I wasn't separating the flesh from the spirit. When I think of it in the spiritual sense it's easy to accept it by faith, as long as I don't try to reason about it with my carnal mind. I so much want the greater anointing of love and power that the Lord promised, that it's worth anything to get it!
       I'm thrilled with all the promises in this "Loving Jesus" series of how we are going to have more of His Love, and more power and fruitfulness in our witness. Recently I've been feeling quite discouraged with myself and wishing I could do more with my life for the Lord. I look at great men of the past, like Dwight L. Moody, George Mueller, David Livingstone, Adoniram Judson and scores of others that we read about in the Good Thots, and I feel I'm doing so little with my life, in comparison!
       This has also made me dissatisfied with my field and ministry, and I've had the burden to go somewhere else, like Russia, where I feel the people would be more receptive and have a greater vacuum for the Gospel. But at the same time, I realize that this dissatisfaction comes from my own heart and not my situation. That's why I'm so eager to dive in with this new revolution and learn how to make love with Jesus, so that He can give me that power, fruitfulness and love that will overflow on others. I really see it as preparation for the dark days ahead.
       It's so clear that we need this spiritual yieldedness, utter dependence on the Lord and deep union with Him, in order to be "the people that do know their God, who will be strong and do great exploits" (Dan.11:32b). We can interpret and identify this "knowing God" with the intimate and even sexual relationship we can have with Jesus, knowing Him, and Him us, in the Biblical sense of "knowing!" Praise the Lord! I love you very much, and thank you for your love!


He's Become More to Me Than I'd Ever Dreamed!
-- From a Female YA

       I love you so much, sweet Mama! -- Really! Thank you for having the faith to send us the Lord's beautiful "Loving Jesus" message. These "Loving Jesus" GNs that we read during the Feast are the most beautiful Words I've ever heard. They are certainly changing my life for the better. I've fallen in love with Jesus in such a wonderful way! In just these two days He's become more to me than I ever dreamed Him to be, so much more than a friend! -- And I want to give Him all He asks for and more; I'm just so touched that He wants that special love from little old me!
       This past year of my life has been my swim through the Jordan, and this gift of the Lord's Love is more than a reward for all I've been through. I don't like to use the word "reward," because I know I don't deserve anything; the Lord's given me so much already, and continues to do so. Thank You Jesus! But the different things I went through last year have made me appreciate this gift of the Lord's Love so much! -- Actually, the word "gift" doesn't contain enough emotion to express what I feel about this wonderful blessing from the Lord!
       I admire, appreciate and love you so much, Mama, for having the faith to pass these Words on to us, especially us younger people. The Lord's Love in His Words is so overwhelming and deep that I had no feeling of cringing or being embarrassed over any of the physical things He would like us to do. -- To the contrary, I think it's a beautiful way of loving Him. The fact that I know I'm one of those proud young people that the Lord says might have a harder time taking this "strong meat" makes me thank the Lord even more for making me so very elated over this gift! He certainly answered my prayers and my desperation, in wanting to have the faith to receive all of this gift to the full!


For the First Time I Can Fully Relate to Feeling Close to Jesus!
-- From a Male Second-Generation Adult

Dear Mama and Peter,
       God bless you! I love you both so much, and you are often in my prayers. I pray that your health is continuing to improve, Mama. Congratulations too on becoming a grandmother! I'm so happy for Techi! -- I can't wait until I have kids myself; it'll be so fun!
       I recently read the "Loving Jesus" series for the third time. I wondered if it would get a bit boring to review all the same material again. I didn't imagine how wrong I'd be! It's really amazing what reading important Word more than once can do.* When I first read the GNs I didn't want to rule out the possibility of ever putting this new relationship with Jesus into practice, but I just didn't think that would happen to me. I thought it was something good for other people, but I did have a real hard time personally, mainly with fear. (*{\ul \i Editor's note}: Yes, please {\ul \i do} try to read the "Loving Jesus" series more than once, as well as other rather complex GNs, such as "Go for the Gold"! These important revelations need to be {\ul \i studied} if you hope to understand them fully!)
       Although I have never had any sort of effeminate or homosexual tendencies, when I was a teenager for some reason I often had a fear that one day I would find out that I was strange in some way and everyone would think that I was a weirdo. It had a big effect on me, and I've often wondered if this is something that the Enemy does with a lot of teens to try to scare them. So when I first read the "Loving Jesus" series, it sort of brought back those old fears, wondering if it would make me effeminate, which is something that I really despise.
       I think the main problem was that when I read the mailings the first couple of times, it was really hard for me to get my eyes off of the physical aspects and focus on the beautiful spiritual principles and the Word itself. I'd have to say I missed most of the Truth in the first reading because of continuous distracting thoughts and battles about whether I would be able to put this into practice. Finally I was able to consciously put this all out of my mind the last time I read it. It meant so much more to me and my faith seemed to be built up so much more, as I just focused on drinking in the Word.
       Now, I look back and it seems silly that I had so many trials along this line, because the Word was so clear and simple and easy to apply after all. I don't think that you could have explained it better or more fully. Every single question I had was answered while I read it, and I can wholeheartedly say that I now am so thankful that this has come out, and I feel that it was so needed in my life.
       Mama, I'd say the thing that spoke to me most was all the love that Jesus wants to give and receive from me personally. Never before has that love seemed so real to me and so unconditional. I guess I hadn't gotten the point yet, even after all that you wrote on this subject last year, and it has still been so easy to get discouraged with all my faults, pride being the biggest one. I'm so thankful for the liberty from discouragement, knowing that the Lord really does want to be close to me!
       In the past I've never been able to fully relate to the things you said about how singles can have the Lord to fall back on when they are lonely. I wanted to be able to understand and feel that, but it was hard, even though loneliness is probably the biggest day-to-day battle that I face. Your description on this subject was so perfect and meant so much to me. You said, "If you are desperately lonely for some arms to be wrapped around you, craving a warm body next to yours as you go to bed at night, it may be difficult for you to see how the Lord's Love, as wonderful as it is, could ever take the place of a human being's love. [DELETED] I know it's hard not to compare ... [EDITED: "but"] you should recognize that it's His will [DELETED] and a special privilege and calling." For the first time I can now relate to feeling the Lord so close. Of course, I still very much want the human closeness, but it's a big change for me to imagine the Lord that way.
       I also saw that the Lord's description of us young people as being proud and haughty very much applies to me. It really is death to self to love Jesus in this way during dates with other young people, but it's now become very important to me that the girls I get close to also have a desire to love the Lord together. It seems to me to almost be a side benefit, for myself, that not only am I going to learn to love the Lord in a deep way while with someone else, but I'm also going to get a weight-loss program on my pride at the same time! -- Ha!
       Well, I could go on and on. There are so many little and big things that fed me as I read this series, and I can feel it changing my life in a lot of ways since then. Every day I've been taking time to try to learn to put this into practice. I'd have to describe it as carefully wading in.
       I love you lots, Mama and Peter. Thanks for continuing to break my bottle and give so much of yourselves for our sake. You're so sweet, and I look forward to when I can meet you someday!


He's the Most Important One of All!
-- From a Female Senior Teen

       Wow, revolutionary! These Letters were really inspiring. I never pictured Jesus as anything more than a Friend before. Of course, there were other Letters about being married to Jesus and being His Bride, etc., but it never quite clicked in my mind that we were each supposed to maintain that kind of relationship with the Lord; to me it was more like "the Family" was married to Jesus.
       At first it was quite a bit to swallow, and I thought that I might not be able to take off with this revolution as fast as some other people may. I didn't think it would come very naturally for me. Then one day during the Feast, I started feeling very condemned and kind of worthless. So I just went to my room and started crying and praying, and while I was praying, those love words just started coming out of my mouth! I was quite thrilled, as I had felt that I wouldn't be able to do it -- although I wanted to, because I knew that was what the Lord wanted. So it was a real inspiration to me when I could say those words, and it helped me to feel closer to Him.
       The part in the Letter that spoke to me a lot is where it talks about how Jesus died on the cross to save us, and now He's asking us to do this for Him in return. I've tried in the past to establish a close relationship with the Lord, but it seemed like I could never maintain it. I got frustrated because I felt I wasn't mature enough and I wasn't close to the Lord. At every candlelight service, that was always my New Year's prayer, but I never really seemed to establish it. I pray that this time I'll be able to maintain it and do what the Lord wants me to, after all He's done for me!
       I think this new revelation is also very good for us young people who are getting into relationships. I just came out of one that broke up because we didn't have the Lord and the Word in first place. I always knew that that wasn't right, and I tried on different occasions to keep Him in first place, but my conviction started to wear thin. Then the Lord had to let the relationship fall apart to show me that it couldn't work without Him. After that I felt like I didn't have anything, because for that whole year or so I had basically totally neglected the Lord. I think this new counsel will really help those who are considering relationships, or those who are in them, to keep the Lord in the picture. If I have another chance, I'll definitely try a lot harder, because I know now that having the Lord in first place is more important than anything else.
       Thank you so much, Mama, for taking lots of your precious time to hear from the Lord and make everything so clear, so that there were no questions or misunderstandings left after reading the series. I really appreciate you and all your love for me and the worldwide Family. I pray that I can keep up with this new revolution, and that I don't miss out on any of it because of my pride or anything else that might stand in the way. It's really exciting! Thank you so much. I love you!


Knowledge of Jesus' Love Pulled Me Through
-- From a Male YA

       For me, Jesus has always been special and He's always been very good to me. When I communicate with Him and speak to Him, it's almost in an audible voice that I hear His answers. I've told Him how much He means to me and how His Love is special. But I also have always tried to be more of a "he-man," or a non-emotional character. So the initial idea of saying love words to Jesus was easy, but then when the Letter started to talk about being a woman in the spirit, my instinctive reaction was to shut down my receptive channels (and offer my copy of the GN to a girl). Ha!
       But I guess the knowledge of Jesus' personal Love for me was the "foot in the door" for me to be willing to receive what He was saying. It wasn't the easiest in all respects, but the time of reading was beautiful, and I could feel God's Spirit in it. I can see that because of the Lord's unconditional Love, this is beginning to grow on me.
       My initial thoughts were, "Is it worth pubbing this because of the furor it may incur with the System?" But then the thought came: If the Family isn't a revolution, there'd be no reason to stay in it! Being so different is what makes us special, and especially that we're willing to be fools for Christ's sake in today's world. I'm one of the few out of the five billion people on this earth who are willing to live for Jesus full time -- and that definitely makes me a novelty, ha! No matter which way you look at it, we're special in the Lord's eyes for applying the "Loving Jesus" revelation! Praise the Lord! Anyway, to sum it up, "I love You, Jesus!"


Why Should We Hesitate?
-- From a Female Junior Teen

       When I first heard about the Feast and the "Loving Jesus" GNs, and how us junior teens would have our own version of the GNs, I was a little bit disappointed. I thought, "Oh no, we're going to have this extremely edited version; maybe we're not trusted anymore" (because in previous years, during the reading of the Feast material, we weren't separated from the voting members). But I was really encouraged when I heard that Mama was trying to give us as much as she could, and was just taking out what was not appropriate for us. It was very sweet that Mama took the time to explain everything to us.
       One thing that stood out to me and made me feel like loving Jesus more was how the Lord said He would wait patiently to love us while we get used to the thought of loving Him as our Husband and saying loving words to Him. I was so touched by what He said: "I will love you regardless of what you do. I do hope you will come unto Me, but if you come not, I will love you just the same." I thought that was so sweet. The Lord loves us so much; why should we hesitate to give Him this love? That part of the prophecy was very convicting for me. It's amazing how honest Mama is. She really has Grandpa's spirit of honesty.


What a Liberation!
-- From a Male Second-Generation Adult

       God bless you! I really, really love you! Thank you for having the faith to share this wonderful new revelation; even though it's radical, it's a real blessing! It was quite a help that it was presented in such an organized manner with the Feast Days set aside for it, as it gave us an opportunity to pray, digest it, think it over, and get used to it.
       At first, it was quite a battle for me, mainly because I'm a guy. Having to imagine myself as a woman in the spirit, making love to Jesus, kind of threw me off. My mind couldn't accept it and I couldn't see how to put it into practice. I had a lot of questions. But as we kept reading, the Word started to take effect in my heart. I know that I do love the Lord, even though I had some apprehension about this. I felt a bit like a young virgin in love with Jesus, but quite scared of a first sexual experience; in fact, so fearful that she can't make love at first. But the Lord's Love and tenderness and loving were driving away my fears and replacing them with gradually increased passion and desire, like preparing the woman for lovemaking.
       Just reading the Word about how Jesus needs us and wants more of our love made me want to try to love Him intimately, for His sake. -- His Words warmed my heart. It was like I couldn't resist or hold back! So I tried saying the love words to Jesus and it was a very beautiful experience. Everything just seemed to come clear, and I started to understand! Before, I'd had a hard time understanding how a spiritual orgasm could be better than a physical one, but after this I feel like a nymphomaniac! Praise the Lord!
       I had a hard time relating to actually desiring Jesus, but now I realize that this intimate relationship with the Lord can help us to desire Him more. Even being women in the spirit when making love to Jesus helps us to keep in mind true dependency on the Lord, like how wives depend on their husbands. This is quite a victory for me, as although I always try to put the Lord first, it's a battle to pull away for time with Jesus. But now it seems easier, somehow. Even loving Jesus while having physical sex makes it easier, because most of us make time for that, and this way we can include the Lord and make it spiritually edifying. It's really to our advantage, too, as it makes our love-ups more special.
       I've tried this a bit with my wife. We're still getting used to it, mostly learning to have enough humility and freedom to say the love words, but it's getting better, and it does seem to help our dates be more enjoyable, too. Praise the Lord! He's so good to us! Here's something we want to do for Him, and He turns it around and blesses us more instead. Precious, tender Lover!
       The Lord is opening up His Word more to me, too. I was thinking about King David, who in a sense was saying love words to the Lord in the Psalms. The things he says you wouldn't say to someone who was just a friend, like: "My soul longeth, even fainteth for the courts of the Lord" (Psa.84:2), and "So panteth my soul after Thee, O God!" (Psa.42:1). ({\ul \i Editor's note}: For more exciting verses on this subject, see Psa.16:7-11; 63:1-8; 73:23-26; Isa.26:8,9,20; Eze.16:8-14; Hos.2:19,20; 2Cor.11:2.) Also, there are some very good lines in the Song of Solomon, and that could provide some exciting passages to use for our times of loving the Lord.
       This revelation really helps to speed up the process of having a closer walk with Jesus. Since I've tried this and stopped trying to reason it through, the Lord's helped me to understand somehow. It's like it's "spiritually discerned," and can't be understood with your carnal mind. I feel free! It's like the liberation after sex -- it's so wonderful! Like after a real nice date, when you just feel nice all over and have a big smile. I feel like the quote, "You've let that loving Man in ... and all you want to do is go, go, go!" Praise the Lord! Thanks again! I really love you!


I Need This New Revelation!
-- From a Female Senior Teen

       I think the whole thing is quite neat and exciting. I'm glad that Mama explained it to us the way she did, versus dropping the whole revelation on us in one GN and expecting us to understand and jump into it right away. The time she took to explain it and give us lots of Word on the subject helped me a lot.
       After we read the GNs, I wholeheartedly agreed with it, but I was quite unsure of exactly how to go about it. I felt sort of like, "What comes next, and what am I supposed to say?" After the meetings when we had some free time, I'd get the GNs and try to figure things out a bit and re-read different sections of the Letters, which helped me. Since the Feast, I've been able to try it a bit and get the feel of it. At first I didn't really feel anything and it didn't seem to be working for me, but I've noticed that I've been feeling a lot happier and more inspired. I know it can't be from anything new or special happening in the Home, because as far as I see there hasn't been anything like that, at least not physically. But I know it's because of the time I have been spending with Jesus. I now look forward to the time before bed, or whenever, that I can spend with Him.
       One prophecy that I thought was very sweet, and which convicted me to love the Lord more is: "The King Who Has Everything but Seeks to Be Loved." He says that even though He is the King of the whole universe and has power over everything, He still wants and needs our love! I never saw it that way before! I always thought that my loving Him was no big deal and didn't make much difference at all, especially not that He would feel lonely without it. Also, I was impressed to see so clearly how He has limited Himself in that He doesn't force us to love Him, but He leaves it up to us to make our own decision to do so.
       I really needed and still need this new revelation, because my spiritual life and relationship with the Lord was very dry, without much happening. I have been putting a closer relationship with the Lord as my New Year's prayer for the past couple of years, and although I have gained partial victories at different times when I'd go through things, I wouldn't hold on to the victories for very long. It got to be quite frustrating after a little while, because I didn't know what to do about it. So I'm quite inspired about this and I'm going to try my best to live it.


It Was Beautiful to See the Lord's Love for All of Us
-- From a Male YA

       When we were reading at the first meeting of the Feast, I wasn't really feeling that the Letter was super heavy. I thought, "Well, it's not such a big thing, or a real big change," and it didn't hit me so much. I wasn't putting it down or belittling it; in fact, I was almost worrying that I was missing something.
       Then the next morning after the meeting we had some time for prayer, so I was praying about it and seeing if it should be a bigger or heavier thing in my life. And I got something really neat from the Lord: He showed me how He had prepared my heart. Before the Feast, I had been reading some different MO Letters, and many of them happened to be the ones that some of the quotes in the "Loving Jesus" series were taken from, when explaining how Dad had been saying a lot of this for a long time. I guess that made it easier to receive. It was like I'd had advance notice. -- I guess the Lord knew I needed it! Ha!
       I went back to read over some of the prophecies, mainly the ones about the Lord's Love for us and all the beautiful things He said about us, and they really stood out to me. The Lord was saying that it has to be a personal commitment, which Mama also said later on. That kind of put it in a clearer light and a better perspective for me. The Lord kept giving me the verse, "The Love of Christ constraineth me!" (2Cor.5:14). Just seeing and hearing how much the Lord is totally in love with me inspires me to return it. I want to at least start with what I can, really work on it, and try to grow in it little by little, and He's honestly given me the faith for it.
       So that stirred me up as I didn't want to be left behind and miss out on this big revolution. I really am praying for the Lord's help, because I don't want it to be something that fizzles out. I think if I keep the prophecies and quotes in mind, they will always convict me. I wrote out some of them in my quote book to look back to, and hopefully they will always keep me in that frame of mind and keep me desperate, because I don't want to fail the Lord! Lord help me!
       Some of these things really take faith, especially as a man, for the "bride" and "lover" aspect, but I can see from reading the different testimonies that the obstacles can be overcome! Now the battles are starting to disappear and it's becoming easier and easier, little by little. Praise the Lord! It really was beautiful to see the Lord's Love for all of us through the prophecies. It made me feel so ashamed of how little I've returned, in comparison. Lord forgive me!
       I'm very thankful for this revolution and New Wine, and I'm so very thankful for Mama and Peter setting the sample for us. Their wanting to jump in so readily stood out to me as real humility and a good sample of love for the Lord! God bless them!


Touched Deeply by Jesus' Love
-- From a Female YA

       Before reading this New Wine, my walk with the Lord had gotten quite traditional and dry. My times with the Lord weren't something I really looked forward to. -- I guess because I didn't see the need for them unless I was going through something. One part of the Letters that touched my heart and helped me to change the way I see my times with Jesus was when the Lord said that He has needs, and that He yearns and longs for that time like a lover! I don't know why I never saw the Lord like that before. -- It's so beautiful that the Lord would love me that much!
       The part that was a bit bottle-breaking for me at first was the part about masturbating while telling the Lord of our love for Him. It took me a while to digest that one, ha! But then I was thinking, when I've been in love, I've often fantasized and daydreamed about that person. When I thought of it that way, it wasn't so difficult for me to picture the Lord being right there beside me when I'm all alone. Hearing that the Lord would even be interested in being so personally involved with me has touched me deeply, and made me want to make a renewed effort to set aside certain times to just talk to the Lord and fall in love with Him all over again.
       It's easy for me to be open with the Lord and tell Him everything when I'm alone with Him, but I guess because of my pride it's real tough for me right now to see myself verbalizing my feelings for the Lord with someone else. I'm not sharing with anyone right now, and I'm kind of reserved in that area, so I can foresee it being a real "leap of faith" if I ever do try. So I can't say I've got this whole new revelation "under my hat," and I can see it'll take me a while to reach that point of total humility and abandonment that it talks about in the prophecies. But it sounds beautiful, and I'll take it one step at a time.


The Prophecy on Singles Was for Me!
-- From a Female Second-Generation Adult

       Thank you for all the New Wine that you have been sending us. It's all inspiring and life-changing. The prophecies are becoming more and more alive to me. When we first started reading prophecies in the pubs they were really hard for me to understand, so I used to just go to the interpretation and read that part first. But now I am getting so used to reading and hearing prophecy that it has almost become natural, and it's easier to read and understand. Thank You Jesus!
       I wanted to especially thank you for the "Loving Jesus" series. It was just what I needed at this time in my life. I am a single and a second-generation adult, and am in a wonderful Home. Our Home has lots of single women with few single men, so there are times when I feel very lonely. I was beginning to convince myself that maybe I was supposed to just be single and single-minded, like a "nun for Christ." But sometimes the flesh wants something else! So the part about singles loving Jesus, and that He wants me to be His lover, was super inspiring. I felt like, "Wow! This is really neat and exciting!" I felt like a big burden of worry was lifted off my shoulders, and that the prophecy about singles was for me.
       I was so excited that I wanted to try applying it right away. It was a bit difficult at first, as I had a hard time thinking that Jesus was really there. My personal prayer life is not so great and I daydream a lot. (Even though I have been through the daydreaming classes millions of times, it still is an NWO and something that I am constantly fighting against.) So I wasn't so sure if Jesus was close by. But in the "Loving Jesus" series you said to go by faith anyway, even if we don't feel like it. So I tried it and it was great!
       One nice thing happened to me the other night, which really encouraged me. I wanted to love up Jesus but there wasn't any opportunity to do so, as I sleep in a bedroom with other single girls. So I went to sleep trusting the Lord, and I had a wonderful dream that I was loving Him in a very intimate way. It was really beautiful! When I woke up I was so encouraged that even though circumstances don't always work out, the Lord knows our hearts and can do something special to show His Love for us. Thank You Jesus!
       All that to say, thank you for all these new pubs. I really love and cherish each and every one of them. XXX!


Now I Can See What Was Missing!
-- From a Male YA

       Through these Letters the Lord seems to be answering all my prayers in one shot! Mama summarized it when she said that if we'll do this, it will draw us much closer to Him; we'll learn to love Him as never before; we'll find new strength, power and anointing; we'll be better prepared for the dark days to come; we'll have greater love for one another and we'll be better, more fruitful witnesses.
       It really opened my eyes to just how much Jesus needs our love. It brings Jesus down to such a human level! For me this makes a lot of things clearer, as I've battled with how we're supposed to be the Bride of Christ.
       I'll admit that when we first read the revelation I thought that it sounded strange, but the more I let it sink in, the more alive it became. It made all of the Letters on being God's Bride "click" and become so clear. I've always wanted to draw closer to the Lord and I felt like I was doing all I could. Now I can see what was missing! It's like a totally new relationship.
       I have to say that my relationship with the Lord had started to cool off and become routine, rather than being passionate and alive like it should have been. I've become very excited with this new way of loving the Lord, because I know that I'll be pleasing Him. It also gives me a real sense of peace to just lie in Jesus' arms, say words of love to Him, and listen to Him say Words of love to me.


He Sees and Honors Our Willingness of Heart
-- From a Female YA

       "I will not give unto the Lord of that which has cost me nothing" (2Sam.24:24). This thought has stuck in my mind over these last few days. This whole new revelation is wonderful! Amazingly sexy stuff! For me it's certainly a lot to absorb and pray about. There is so much to take by faith, and I guess that's what the Lord wants us all to do.
       The section, "Jesus the Patient Lover" was very encouraging to me, as I often feel discouraged with myself when I cannot achieve my goals as quickly as I want to. I know, though, that it is much better to go slow, taking one small step at a time, by faith, and eventually reach the "ideal," rather than to give up because I can't do it all at once.
       I can't help but be ever so thankful to Jesus for His everlasting Love, mercy and understanding for each and every one of us. It really touches my heart to know how patient He is with us. A lot of the things that the Lord is asking of us are a bit hard for me to ever see myself doing, though there is nothing I want more than to obey and please Him. But again, the Lord sees and honors our willingness of heart, though we may not be able to do everything now in the physical.
       The prophecy that says, "It doesn't matter what you are doing, as long as you are doing something" was quite encouraging for me, and it was neat to see how the Lord knows exactly where we are at and what He can expect of each of us as individuals. It's like the widow's mite. -- She gave all she had, though it was little. And like Grandpa said, "It doesn't matter exactly what they're doing as long as they're doing something, as long as they're doing what they can do to love the Lord in this new intimate way." Since the Lord said that this should be an easy yoke and a blessing to us, not a burden, it gives me peace of mind. Thank You Jesus! It's all by faith! I know that day by day, He will help me to put on this garment of humility to please Him in the way that He asks.


The New Wine Is Fantastic!
-- From a Male YA

       Some time ago, a couple in my Home told me some lessons they were learning about spending love-up time with the Lord. I was shocked when they told me that they would talk and pray to Jesus as they were making love, and they would say sweet words to Him. This was a very new idea to me, and I had never heard of anything like it before. But I did something I didn't know I could do: I tried it! -- And it worked! Yes! I don't know how, but like Mama said, it just did, and it was one of the most beautiful experiences I had had. The person I was dating didn't exactly know what was happening at the time (ha!) and I had to explain it afterwards! (This was before reading the "Loving Jesus" series.)
       I think the Lord used that experience to prepare me for this New Wine. Wow! It's fantastic! It is most definitely going to cause a revolution in my relationship with the Lord. It is not going to be easy, but the Lord said in the prophecies that He would help us through and that the tests would only make us stronger. I really pray that I can apply this new counsel in my life and learn to love the Lord as His Bride, without any reservations, pride, fronts, cover-ups, or anything that could hinder, distract or stand in the way.
       These three days of feasting on His Word have been more than beautiful, and I think it's going to take me a little time to assimilate all that the Lord has given to us and all that He is expecting us to give. "To whom much has been given (in the Feast mailings), of the same shall much be required." Lord help me and give me the faith and the anointing to apply this counsel and really "go for the gold" in this new revolution. Praise the Lord!


How Can I Not Give Him All That He Asks?
-- From a Female Adult

       God bless you, Mama and Peter! I love you both very dearly and can't stop thanking the Lord for you and all that He has given you in the recent Letters and the "Loving Jesus" revelation and revolution! When reading the series, our Home had a real blast in the spirit all together, learning from and receiving the Truth of His Words! I was personally very touched to see the loved ones in our Home so wholeheartedly accept these Letters by faith! It was such a strengthening experience to go through this revelation unitedly and "bear each others' burdens" through showing an enthusiastic attitude and a spirit of acceptance and real faith -- in spite of the fact that those "burdens" are real obstacles of pride, shyness, lack of yieldedness, skepticism and even the flesh itself.
       Personally, I've felt so liberated in some ways, as loving Jesus in this intimate and even sexual way is something that I thought of many times in the past, and even fantasized about. However, because of my conservative and churchy upbringing, I always thought that it couldn't possibly be the right thing to do, much less something that the Lord Himself could request! It's so wonderful to now know that I can love the Lord as intimately as you have shared with us! I want with all of my heart to overcome the obstacles of my pride and my past inhibitions, and give the Lord what I now know He desires and even expects of me.
       The way this revelation was presented one step at a time has helped me tremendously to know deep in my heart how true it is, and to understand how natural it is to love the Lord in this new way. I feel that it's only a step further, a deepening of our relationship with the Lord! Even though it is a revelation and a revolution, on the other hand, it just seems to be the natural course of events! We sort of had a platonic relationship with the Lord, distant in comparison to what we can have, and now it has progressed and grown to a more complete, sexual relationship!
       One other thing that touched me personally when reading the "Loving Jesus" series was the level of tolerance, understanding and longsuffering that the Lord has for each one of us. In all of the latest Letters from you, Mama, starting with "I Love You -- Just You," it seems that the Lord is trying to convey a very important message that is actually changing my life and every aspect of it: That He sees us as individuals, takes us where we are at and loves each one so very personally!
       This very point has not only led me to a more personal relationship with the Lord, but has also shortened the distance that I had often felt between me and the Lord -- either because of my feeling of unworthiness, or self-imposed goals that I wasn't able to attain in my life for Him, or the high standards that I'd feel others wanted me to live up to. It has given me real peace and has made my spirit relax, knowing that He simply loves me for what I am and waits patiently for me to go to Him at my own pace and will. And amazingly enough, while it seemed that this "going to Him" would be a much slower process, it's actually happening so much faster as I feel freed, instead of pressured to conform to anything! All I see is my Jesus, Who knows my weaknesses, burdens and limitations, but desires me in a personal way! It makes me so thankful for His unconditional Love for me; how can I not give Him all that He asks of me?
       Thank you again, dear Mama and Peter, for being faithful to reveal His Truths to us. I feel so indebted to you for this, because if you had kept this revelation and not given it for fear that it would be too hard and difficult to be received, then my relationship with the Lord, and that of many others, would not be as intimate and deep as it can now develop to be. I love you very much, and thank you again for loving the Lord so much and then sharing that love and Truth with us! I'm looking forward to "going for the gold" with Jesus!


My Heart Aches to Realize His Need!
-- From a Female Second-Generation Adult

Dearest Queen Mama and King Peter,
       I love you soooo much. You truly are wonderful and so precious. I wanted to share with you my reactions and feelings about the "Loving Jesus" series. It wasn't such a shock to me about loving Jesus and saying sexy, loving words to Him while masturbating, as I'd already experienced this to an extent. I had fantasized about making love with Jesus a few times. There's actually one picture of Jesus we saw where He looks relaxed, easygoing and kinda rough, rugged and sexy. Some of us girls would say how sexy He looked. So whenever I'd think about loving Him, I'd see that picture and would romantically fantasize that I was making love to Him. It helped me to visualize Him.
       Concerning saying words of love to Him while making love with my husband: I don't feel too odd about it as I am quite verbal in my lovemaking, yet my mate is still a little uneasy about it. I truly understand. He is a man, and therefore he does have more of a transformation to make in the Spirit. So after reading the series, I decided to try saying the words in my mind so I wouldn't distract my husband -- at least for right now, since it was the first time we had made love after reading the GNs. I definitely don't want to push him and make him feel out of place or like he's out of it because I am into it and he's not yet. He can go at his own pace. Yet when I did try it in my mind, it was beautiful. I really liked it! I pray I'll do it more and I'll get closer and closer and more and more in love with Jesus.
       Oh, Mama, thank you for being faithful to go ahead and deliver the message from the Lord. You just took it by faith and obeyed and yielded. It makes me love you more and pray for you more.
       The thing that makes my heart ache is the fact that Jesus is in need of a lover and a bride that will make love to Him and desire Him. I'm so happy that now we know and we can show Him our appreciation and show Him our love in a deeper way!
       It was a relief, though, to know that we don't have to feel like, "Oh, if I don't express my love to Jesus every time I make love, then I'm neglecting Him and He won't be happy with me." Otherwise it could become like the story of the Sultan who was faithful to pray every day but became self-righteous about it. (See Good Thots, "Righteousness/Self-Righteousness," par.11.) I don't want it to be a big self-effort trip. I want to love Jesus intimately because I love Him and He loves me and because He needs my love.
       It's not like I've got a total victory about this revelation. I mean, my very first reaction to this was raised eyebrows and wide eyes. But after it was further explained in your Letters I saw it more in the Spirit and it was easier. It's quite a big revolution! I know for me personally, the Lord expects me to go all the way.
       In the prophecy to us YAs and second-generation adults, it mentions about us needing to humble ourselves and to choose the humble thing. We were joking about how a new way for asking for a date could be: "How about being humble together?" Or we could express how proud we are and how much we need some "humbling." Ha! It's so true. I have so much pride that I definitely need to be humbled now and again!
       Another very beautiful thing about this revelation is that other times that I've shared with different singles that I wasn't particularly attracted to, I would pray to myself before the date, "Lord, please help them not to feel the slightest bit that I don't want to be with them, and help them to feel loved." Now I pray, even more than that, that I can be Jesus' Love for them.
       Well, I love you very much and am so thankful for you both. Thank you for passing on this important message of love from the Lord to us.


Jesus Really Is Enough!
-- From a Female Senior Teen

       This "Loving Jesus" series has been wonderful! It almost blows my mind how we're really, in a way, entering into the spirit world, and I believe it is such a great sign of the end. We're becoming so much more separated and different from the world as time goes on, which gives me more of a feeling of being revolutionary and "out of this world."
       For a long time I have felt the need to be much closer to Jesus and I have desired it very much, but I would always wonder, "Well, how can I be closer to the Lord? What should I do? What are the practical steps?" I would make an effort to pray more and listen to the Lord, but sometimes I just wound up discouraged because I didn't feel like I was making very much progress.
       But these Letters and prophecies have been such an inspiration and really what I've been longing for. Just like you said over and over, it's so special that Jesus Himself, the great King that He is, would want to be our Lover and want us to be His Bride! But what is almost like a revelation and something that I've never really thought about before is how the Lord is saying that He needs us and He desires us and wants to be with us, just like we'd desire so much to be with someone that we're in love with. He's not only saying, "Come and be with Me and take time with Me because you need it, you won't be able to go on without it," which of course is true as well, but He's also saying that He needs our love just as much as we need His! It's just so beautiful!
       These Letters and the things they've brought out have also helped me to see how Jesus really can be enough and can be everything I need in my life. Before I would hear that, and it would be hard to comprehend or see how it could be true. I'm very thankful to receive these Letters at this time, and I believe the Lord was allowing me to go through certain trials so that this Word would really be alive to me; so I would be able to apply it to my own situation and, in turn, it would become so much more to me.
       I had recently been going through some loneliness trials and I had been feeling pretty discouraged. I felt like there was no one special who really loved me and wanted to spend time with me, and I would compare myself with others in the Home who had special relationships, or even with ones who had bubbly, fun personalities and who always had a lot of people who wanted to be with them. But "Loving Jesus! -- Part 6," where the Lord talks specifically to the singles about how it is a special calling, and how He is our Lover and He's going to be unto us everything that we need, is so wonderful and I am so thankful for it! I really believe Him when He says that, "As you deepen your relationship with Me, I will pour forth all the love that you need!" What a wonderful Lover!
       This is quite a heavy revelation, and I must admit that I got hit with some questions like, "Why does it have to be so sexual and graphic? Why does the Lord ask it of our men too?" But one thing that helped me was where Mama said, "If that's what the Lord asks of us, who are we to question?" It's really true! Who are we to try to figure out in our finite minds why the Lord wants it that way? I'm sure that we will all be more and more turned on to the idea when we start seeing all the blessings in our lives that He promises He will give us as we put into practice this new way of loving Him.
       I think this is a wonderful new step that the Lord has led us to, and I feel it's a real privilege that the Lord would trust us with this new revelation. I'm excited about the blessing that I know it will be in my life as I fall deeply in love with my Lover that has been "there all the time, waiting patiently in line."
       I love you so much, Mama and Peter, and will always love this beautiful Family. I sincerely want to thank you for laying down your lives for us, to give us Words from the Lord; they're beautiful! I pray that I can make the Lord happy by giving Him the love that He desires and by speaking to Him the love words that He wants to hear.


"Loving Jesus" Is Exactly What I Need!
-- From a Male Second-Generation Adult

       Recently I was feeling burdened about my relationship with the Lord; I knew I should love Him more intimately, but I felt at a loss as to how to go about it. I knew my relationship with the Lord was sorely lacking, and I wanted to get to know the Lord and have Him become more real in my life.
       These GNs were the answer I needed. Although this way of loving Jesus is still a little awkward for me, I was very encouraged by the Lord's Love and mercy and how He promised that He would help us. It helped me realize more fully what letting go and letting God is. My goal is to follow this revelation closely, and I pray the Lord will help me forsake my inhibitions and pride, so I can give the Lord the love He needs and enter into intimate fellowship with Him. I was also convicted and challenged by what Dad said about us having to forsake the worldly influences we have about sex, as I know that putting these things into practice will be humbling.
       I'm really thankful that the Lord keeps giving us new revelations that keep us from becoming stagnant. It's quite exciting to see how a whole new generation is basically taking on their first radical new revelation from their new king and queen! I think this is also going to serve as a purging of the ranks and an exercise of our new-bottle muscles!
       I'm so thankful the Lord has lifted the burden of having to completely understand everything; all I have to do is take the step of faith and Jesus will open my eyes in the spirit. I'm just overwhelmed with the Lord's Love, and how easy He makes it for us!
       I also thought it was good how Mama mentioned that we need to show our thankfulness and appreciation to those who show us the Lord's Love. Lord, help me to truly follow Your Law of Love. It's so sweet of the Lord to actually desire our love, and yet be so patient for it and understanding of our human frailties!
       I really need more of Jesus. My relationship with the Lord has been lacking. I know this is exactly what I need. I love you so much, Mama. Thank you for the good sample you are to us. It was encouraging to hear some of the things you went through when implementing these new methods of loving Jesus.


I'm Already Experiencing His Blessings!
-- From a Male Second-Generation Adult

       My relationship with Jesus is something that I desperately have had a desire to grow in, and if there is any way that I can love Him more deeply, I want to do it. As far as the whole radical thing about us men making love with Jesus as women in the spirit, all I can say is, "Wow! I'm gonna hang on tight for this one and ride the wave as best I can!" I have found everything else the Lord has given to be true, tried and proven, so I know that this is going to work out great too, praise the Lord! One thing is for sure: these GNs make it clearer how we can go about loving Jesus fully. It's a super blessing to have concrete samples of how to fall in love with Jesus, and how to love Him. I've always wanted to and wondered how I could get closer, but this "brings it down to earth" -- or I should say "takes me up to Heaven!" -- Ha! Hallelujah!
       While we were reading this GN, although it was very feeding and inspiring, at one point the Enemy was discouraging me about it. But then, just as clear as anything, the Lord gave me a verse that I have heard so much and is one of the foundations of our Christian life: "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy soul and with all thy mind; this is the first and great commandment" (Mat.22:37,38). Wow, it took on a whole new meaning! How often have we read, sung, or shared that verse with others? And now the Lord is giving us the full deep meaning of it and showing us how we can apply it fully! -- How wonderful!
       Knowing that male leadership -- King Peter and others -- have tried it by faith and found that it works and are experiencing the blessings of their obedience in pleasing the Lord like this really gives me the faith, too, that what He's done for them He will also do for me. I want to just totally fall in love with Jesus, giving Him what He wants and needs -- my heart, my love, and my all!
       I think one of the main things I need to do is get it past my mind and my carnal thinking, and like the Word says, not even try to analyze it. I'm trying to just receive it by faith in the spirit, like a child. It's comforting how Mama said not to worry if you don't understand it immediately; just receive what you can and the Lord will take you one step at a time.
       Incorporating the spiritual aspect into physical sex is a little difficult for me at this point, but I'm so thankful that we only have to take it one small step at a time. We don't even have to understand it, but just trust Him, and He will lead us along and teach us how, praise the Lord! Mama makes it so easy to receive, explaining it all in such a loving, understanding, patient, and clear way. She really gives us the benefit of the doubt and also gives us time to digest it. I haven't yet become a woman in spirit and had Jesus make love to me, but I certainly do want to dive in and experience the joy of truly falling in love with Jesus, forsaking all and becoming His Bride.
       This is helping me to let go of myself and not care about anything else except Jesus -- something I've desired to do for a while. One wonderful thing I've been experiencing from this (even though it was just yesterday that we finished reading it) is that as I have yielded to the Lord in this and received it, I have felt so much more yielded and happy in other areas of my life. I am already receiving benefits and blessings by just receiving it, so I feel it's a fulfillment of the promises of blessing we will receive! -- And I know that as I actually obey and put it into practice, it's going to be even more wonderful, thank the Lord!
       It's amazing to me how every hour it's getting easier, clearer and more exciting! I guess the Lord just had to make it shocking, to shake us out of our ruts and make us wake up and tune in to what He was saying. One thing for sure -- if Dad, Mama and Peter say it, then it's good enough for me. I'm just so thankful for this "Loving Jesus" Revolution.


I Found Loving Jesus to Be as Fulfilling as a Physical Date!
-- From a Female YA

       Wow! I thought the prophecies concerning our relationship with the Lord and loving Him with a partner were quite amazing and incredibly specific. I think it's going to really help a lot, and in "theory" it's quite easy for me to understand how much of a blessing and help it could be. -- But seeing the need and understanding it is still going to be quite different from putting it into practice, because it is a picture of total humility and forgetting yourself.
       What the prophecy said about us teens and YAs and how much pride, self and gossip there is, was so right on! I know personally, many times dates and relationships are taken quite frivolously and nonchalantly. A lot of times I have a carnal-minded attitude toward love and sex, without a whole lot of substance besides just a physical want and attraction. I have a physical need, but many times the need isn't really filled through sex; a lot of times it just seems so empty and can get to be like a vicious cycle.
       I know that implementing the "Loving Jesus" revelation is really going to be a killer for me pride-wise, and quite a challenge! I kind of compare it to being pregnant, and thinking about labor. -- You know you can't get around labor and you understand that that's the way you get the baby out and all, but the thought of actual labor can still be a bit scary, though you know the end result will be a beautiful baby and what you've been waiting for your whole pregnancy. Thinking about trying to love Jesus with a partner is a crusher and a humiliating thought, but I hope to try it, as I really want the "baby" and all the blessings the Lord is promising.
       I think it's going to increase my closeness with other people and give an added dimension in looking at relationships. It's true that what I want in my relationship with Jesus is so much the same as what I would picture in a "perfect" relationship physically, and vice-versa. It is such an incredible analogy and something to strive for! Because I'm not in a relationship I think it's going to be more of a feat and challenge, but I feel it's going to be wonderful to be close enough to someone and be that humble and honest with them to be able to do this. Boy, what a truly new and exciting "New Day of Love!" There seems to be so much more now in that little phrase. Thank You Jesus!
       (Written a few days later:) I love it! These GNs have been wonderful and have even helped to answer some other questions I've had. Last night I got a chance to try it and it was wonderful! I didn't go quite as far as I hope I can in the future, but just taking the first step and talking to Jesus and saying loving, intimate things to Him was great! The Lord seemed to make it so easy! I really wanted to sleep with somebody and just cuddle, but it wasn't going to work out. And then it dawned on me that it would be a great time to try this new method and just spend time with Jesus. I put on the tape "When You Need Him Most," hugged a pillow and took the plunge in saying love words to Him as best I could.
       It didn't come totally naturally at first, as generally I'm not a very open and honest person in talking or saying things when having dates, but I was just so excited about trying it! I was very surprised at how easy it was and how inspiring it was, and how much pleasure I got out of it!
       Though it feels kind of odd to me to say this, it felt as fulfilling and satisfying as having a physical date! It was almost better than having a date in some ways, as many times I don't want to have a full date, but I'm just lonely and want the feeling of someone there. Many times I just want to sleep with somebody by me, have cuddle-time, fellowship and an honest and deep conversation, and somebody to hold me -- which is what I realized I can do so easily with Jesus! I think a lot of times us teens and YAs can feel lonely and immediately associate it with a need for a physical touch and someone in the physical, when it seems like the Lord puts that desire in our hearts sometimes so we'll be with Him.He must really be hurt that He can't get through to us, as we go find someone else so quickly and leave Him completely out of the picture!
       I woke up this morning feeling so refreshed and wonderful! I know there is a lot more, and I really hope I can get all I can from other experiences in this method of loving Him. But I felt so honored that my first try and my first intimate and personal time with Jesus in this new way could be so special and feel so good. I'm so thankful that the Lord is making it easy for me and giving me that desire! I just marveled at how wonderful and fulfilling it actually was and felt.


Holding On Brought Peace and Victory
-- From a Male YA

       The "Loving Jesus" revelation all seemed so strange at first, and on that first morning of the Feast it was kind of a battle for me to try to grasp and understand it in my mind. But I guess that was just the Enemy trying to get to me, and get things out of proportion and context so that I'd miss this gift that the Lord was trying to give. The first lesson for me was not to overreact to the whole thing, and try to fit it into my understanding, but to take it by faith and trust that the pieces would come together. In holding on, pretty soon I started to feel fine about it and see the benefits of drawing close to the Lord in this way.
       The next thing that I encountered was how to put this into effect and practice it. I sure am one of those that has a hard time putting erotic and passionate words together with my relationship with the Lord. I just never looked at Jesus as a sex partner or lover, but more as a forever friend and companion. This I again had to trust the Lord about. On the second day I started to realize that it really wasn't so bad, and that it could work in my life as well. I think it's mainly just my pride that's gotten in the way of me loosening up and feeling free in the spirit. I feel like this serves several purposes for me: To increase my love for the Lord and build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship with Him; as a test of my willingness to step out and take it by faith; and as a demonstration of my loyalty to Him. I'm sure I'm going to feel more fulfilled in my life, and start to see things in a new light.

Copyright 1996 The Family