Home » Children of God Publications » --title not yet entered into database--

The Family / Children of God

Internal Publications and Secret Directives

DISCLAIMER: The sole purpose of this page is to document the existence of a publication produced by The Family International a.k.a. The Family, Family of Love, Children of God and various pseudonyms (hereon referred to as TFI). It is provided for the record, for educational and research purposes, with the principal aim of promoting accountability by the TFI for its teachings and statements, which have proven detrimental to the lives of many. By replicating this material, exFamily.org neither endorses the views expressed in this publication nor justifies the existence of this publication and its statements. Reader discretion is advised. The material on this page may be unsuitable for minors and may contain disturbing words of racism, hate mongering, directives to unhealthy lifestyles and/or criminal activity, and/or contain plagiarized works.
THIS PUBLICATION MAY HAVE BEEN "SANITIZED." This digital format of this publication was extracted from TFI's HomeARC 99, which was subjected to encryption and editing by TFI, who, in order to hide its controversial writings and thus escape moral and/or legal accountability for past/present core beliefs and directives, sanitized (edited) and purged (deleted, destroyed, burned) its texts—both printed and electronic. Where possible, exFamily.org has compared this digital material with the cult's original paper-printed versions to ensure that this publication accurately reflects the original, uncensored version. Locations where the text has obviously or potentially been sanitized is hilighted with bright-red [DELETED] or [EDITED] markers.

FSM 308       DO/TS
Graduating to a New Ministry!

{\b Copyright © 1997 by The Family -- MARCH 1997}

       Dear Faith (of Philip), who has served the Lord for many years in Thailand, and before that in the Philippines and Europe, was promoted to Heaven on March 15th, 1997. Praise the Lord! Faith had been a nurse for twelve years before joining the Family, and when she was diagnosed with breast cancer a few years ago, she decided not to have medical treatment, but to put her life in the Lord's hands. She was a beautiful example of faith, trust, and positiveness, staying happy and healthy for much longer than the doctors had predicted she would. Her personal testimony is in FIA #14, "A Special Life." In this magazine we are including some articles she and others wrote about her life and illness during this last year. We pray that these will be an inspiration and encouragement to you, especially any who may be suffering a serious illness, or who are close to someone who is or has passed on.
       To her precious family we'd like to say we love you, Philip, Mary, Anne, Larissa, Michael, Marie, Stephen, Simon, Martin, and Gabsi, and our prayers are with you. Thank you for sharing dear Faith with us while she was here on Earth. She was an inspiration to us all and has now gone on to her greater mission and reward in Heaven!
       Love, Your WS Pubs Team


An Invitation to Heaven!
       Last year, as Faith's cancer worsened and it seemed the Lord was planning to take her Home, Mama wrote the following letter to Faith, sending with it beautiful prophecies from the Lord, Dad, and Liz Grey [EDITED: "1"] about her sickness.
       [EDITED: "1"] Liz Grey is a Family member who was living in Thailand and passed on in late 1995 at age 69.

From Mama to Faith, 13/03/96
Dear Faith,
       I love you. You certainly are living up to your name! -- And it makes me very proud of you! I know the Lord and Dad feel the same way!
       Endureth has told me what a wonderful soldier you have been, and how you've been such a good example to all who know you. It's like we're discovering that a special jewel of great price has been hidden in one of our Homes in Thailand! I would love to bring that jewel out in the open and let the light shine upon it where all would be able to partake of its beauty. So many folks will be encouraged by your testimony, and will thus be better able to face their own serious battles with afflictions.
       Everyone has a different set of experiences which the Lord can use to encourage and comfort others. It would be wonderful if you could put down your thoughts and feelings and the little miracles the Lord has done, as well as the way you've felt His hand upon you. Please let us know in detail how you are feeling spiritually and physically. We'd like to know the specifics so we can pray better for you.
       I'd love to also hear your testimony from before joining the Family, as well as an account of your years in the Family. ({\ul \i Editor's note}: Please see Faith's life story in FIA #14, "A Special Life!") As you continue to grow weaker, I'm sure you must be wondering what Jesus has in store for you. I know it's hard to think of leaving because of the children and Philip [EDITED: "Faith's husband, formerly Habakkuk 2:4"], but you just have to hold on to the fact that Jesus knows best, and that everything He does, He does in love.
       If we didn't have our dear loved ones to consider, it would be such a thrilling prospect, wouldn't it? When I think about your possibly being able to see Jesus soon and see Dad, I get so thrilled about it. Just think! You may be able to see Dad way before I do! If you do, please give him lots of love from me. I know he'll give you lots -- he's such a tender, wonderful lover. Meeting him will be so precious for you! -- Not to mention meeting Jesus and having the Lover of all lovers, the Husband of all husbands enfold you in His arms and love you more than you've ever been loved. -- You'll be so happy, and you'll forget all the pain and you'll know that everything is going to be all right with your children and Philip.
       You'll know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you don't have to fear or worry for them. You'll see things differently up There. You'll know, too, that you can influence their lives in some ways even more than you could while you were here. You'll be able to better understand them. You can better know their hearts and exactly what they need. You'll be able to watch them grow and help them to make the right decisions.
       Dear Faith, I just can't find the words to express how I admire you and how much I love you for serving Him so faithfully all these years through all the daily struggles and through the battles and heartaches, for being willing to have those wonderful children, being a good wife to your husband, and serving Jesus on the mission field at such sacrifice. I can't tell you how much I admire you for now going through this, another test, so full of faith and cheerfulness.
       You probably don't feel you have much faith. And you probably don't feel cheerful a lot of the time. It indeed takes a monumental effort to be that way when the pain is so great. But Jesus doesn't see your lacks, He just sees your love for Him, your fighting spirit, your faith and your yieldedness. In fact, He's looking forward so eagerly to seeing you and holding you in His arms.
       I can promise you that whether you go sooner or later, you have nothing to worry about, and you won't hear a word about any of your mistakes or weaknesses. He'll just heap on you so much love and commendation and praise and thankfulness for a well-fought -- and won -- battle. He'll give you such a great reward and you'll be just amazed. And then He'll even let you talk to your loved ones down here and tell them all about it. They'll be so proud that they have a mommy who is with Jesus and with Grandpa, working with him to help the Family and to help them personally.
       I love you, dear Faith, and I love Philip, too, and I'm proud of him. I know in some ways this must be even harder for him than it is for you, even though you have to endure the physical pain. We're praying for both of you and for the children. Keep looking up! Don't get your eyes on the waves! -- Just keep them on Jesus' face! Love each other together in His arms and let His precious love soothe away the hurt.
       We look forward to hearing from you, sweet Faith. Please be assured that I and Peter and those of us here are praying for you and your loved ones.
       Yours forever,
       P.S.: The following are some sweet messages from Heaven for you, dear Faith, because Jesus loves you, your loved ones There love you, and we love you!


       (Dad speaking:) God bless you, Hab! Thank you for taking care of dear Faith. She's quite a woman, isn't she? She's taken good care of you, and thanks for taking such good care of her and being such a wonderful husband to her.
       I want to thank you, Son, for letting us borrow her for a little while, if that's okay. I know you'll miss her, but I just wanted to thank you and tell you how much we appreciate the sacrifice you all make when you let someone come Here. And we take all that into consideration -- how it will affect the loved ones left behind, and the ministry they'll be leaving, and especially the children and how it'll affect them.
       Sicknesses such as this that actually linger on a while really are a blessing because that helps the husband and the children get used to the idea. We have time to prepare your hearts and speak to you about it, and you have time to read and study up on it and actually get the victory before they come Home, rather than just all of a sudden taking them without any warning. That can be quite a shock. But this way, it can be very easy and gentle.
       You can make preparations for the children, if you have younger children, and explain to them anything necessary to help them understand. And also, dear Faith, when you know for a while ahead of time, you can make plans for the younger children, or for your husband, putting your house in order, and having plenty of time before you go to do anything you need or want to do before you meet the Lord.
       Isn't that sweet of the Lord to give you lots of notice ahead of time? It's really a blessing. If you know you're going to meet the Lord, it helps you get your priorities straight and do what you'd like to get done on Earth before you go to meet Him.
       I want to thank you kids, too, for letting us borrow your mommy. I know it may be a little bit hard to understand, but maybe you can think of it in this way: What if you got a message from Mama Maria asking if Faith could go live at the Folks' house for a little while, and then later on you would be able to come and join her? Wouldn't that be exciting? Wouldn't you be happy for her, and really proud of your mommy, that out of all the people in the Family, she was chosen for such an important honor?
       Well, it's a little bit the same when we have a need for somebody Here and we look around for someone that would be able to fit the job. Your mommy was just that one, so we've kind of invited her to come on this special mission.
       Wouldn't you feel real proud of your mommy if she were called to go work in Mama Maria's house? You would know that was a real special blessing, wouldn't you? It's the same thing. Your mommy is real special and you can be real proud of her that she was chosen to come work in my house Here. That's a pretty high calling, and the time is going to go by real fast until the time when you're going to be able to join her Here. So I just want to thank you for letting her come to be with me and sharing her with all of us Here in Heaven!
       She's graduating with honors and she'll be extra close to you, just like I'm extra close to Mama Maria and Techi and David. Since I have come Here, I've actually been able to give more guidance to the Family than when I was there. I've actually been able to help Techi and David more because I'm closer to them, and your mommy will be able to help you more because she'll be closer to you.
       I think you're going to feel the spirit world so much closer, so much more real, and you're going to feel Faith's presence more and more as time goes on. This will be a great encouragement and comfort to you.
       The Family Here is really growing! We've got quite a few up Here now and it's pretty exciting! Faith, Honey, it's a very exciting event to receive you. We'll send an escort and you'll go straight from the arms of your loved ones there, straight into the arms of Jesus! Thanks for coming! You've done so well there that it was time to graduate to a bigger job, to give you room to grow with new challenges and new missions. Thank you, Honey. We'll be waiting for you with a grand reception! Welcome Home! Love, Dad

       (Liz Grey speaking:) Precious are these, and precious are you in the eyes of the Lord. Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints. And why are they precious? Is it because they die? No, it is because their lives were precious. The lives of the saints are precious to the Lord because they're living for Him. Each day they're giving their all, giving their lives to Him in yieldedness and obedience and service, which is the most precious thing you can give Him. This is dying daily -- the daily sacrifices of witnessing, of serving Him, of death to self. It is your continual dying to your own life, your faithful "not my will, but Thine be done," which makes you so precious to Him.
       It is precious to Him not because of your death, but because He can finally receive you into His arms again after such faithful service, a moment He has long waited for -- the precious moment when you are reunited again with Him!
       It often seems so tragic for those of us on Earth who die of afflictions, especially for a Christian whose God is supposed to heal them. Some question, "Why does God not miraculously heal those who are ill? Wouldn't it be a greater testimony that God is alive and that He is real and that He loves us, if He would heal miraculously?" Yes, sometimes, but not always. For whether we die or we live, we are the Lord's to do with however He wishes.
       Sometimes our deaths can even be a greater witness than our lives, because we can die like we lived -- trusting! And sometimes our deaths can be a greater testimony of His other powers besides healing, such as His grace. Because to be "more than conquerors" and die victoriously takes even greater faith, which shows it's a miracle. Just as when the Christians in the arena died singing and praising, it was a greater testimony and witness and proof of His power, because it showed that those Christians had something that the others didn't, and which they wanted!
       So those of you who have cancer or other terminal afflictions, when the Lord takes you Home, you will be a martyr for the cause and will receive a martyr's reward -- just like the Christians in the arena, who were sacrificed on His altar for His glory. As they were tested, the Lord's Spirit came down to give them great grace, dying grace, so that they were able to sing in the face of the lions without fear and without torment! And just as they were able to praise while being burned at the stake, this same anointing will fall on you as you face the lions of disease. You'll be able to praise and sing and have the same anointing, that your face may reflect the Lord's peace, though your body may be burned with disease.
       This victory over death, being more than a conqueror, will inspire the faith of those around you as you go before them, and as they see the Lord's hand upon you. It will give them courage and faith when their time of trouble comes, for they will remember the great peace and calm the Lord gave you. And those of us that go on before, we go to prepare a place, that where we are, you may be also.
       So dear Faith, thank you for helping me. Thank you for giving me faith and comfort in my time of need there. Dad was right: Dying is one of the most beautiful experiences of life, the ultimate orgasm! I can hardly describe what dying is like, it's so beautiful! So thrilling! So exhilarating! It's just the beginning!
       It's so wonderful how the Lord uses everything. Whether we live or whether we die, we can serve Him. And whether we're in health or we're in sickness, we can still serve Him -- sometimes even better through our cheerfulness in sickness, our joy through death, our praises through our pains, the victories through the seeming defeats. Our trusting, though He slay us, is what people will remember most, and what He uses the most in our lives to affect more people and touch the most hearts.
       So, dear Faith, you have nothing to fear in the night or in the day, in the past or in the future. The Lord's going to use you in a mighty and glorious way through your shining testimony and your overcoming faith. This is the victory, even your faith, and your faith is very pleasing to Him. (End of prophecies.)

"Love Is Strong as Death" (SoS.8:6a)
From Philip, March 1996
Dearest Mama and Peter,
       GBY! ILYSVM! I am so very thankful for your sweet words to Faith as well as your prayer and concern for me and the kids in this trying time. It was so beautiful that you took the time to get something from the Lord for us. Faith was just writing a letter to ask you to do that, and then I heard you were already doing it without our even asking. It made us both feel so loved and cared for by you. We are so thankful to have such a loving and caring queen and king. Faith is very very encouraged by your letter and the prophecies that you got for her. Every word was so right on.
       She is an incredible fighter; I have never seen anything quite like it. She's not perfect, but I have never once heard her complain, doubt or fear concerning the cancer. She is the bravest person I can imagine. She now even seems to have peace for the children if the Lord does choose to take her Home. Before, this seemed to be her main battle, thinking "How will they do without me?" She was quite emotional on that score but now, from what I can see, she has perfect faith and trust.
       It's been two years almost to the day since we were visiting the doctors and getting the confirmation that she did indeed have cancer, and my, how our lives have changed! When this happened we were separated for the work's sake, I having been a NAS and VS and then a teen shepherd at the Training Center. Although I got to visit her regularly, we were quite far apart in more ways than one. I had spent very little time with my kids over the previous four years and I didn't know the youngest all that well.
       Now, through this sickness, the Lord has reunited my family and I've found out that no matter what rough spots a marriage goes through, if it is of God, He will preserve it and keep that which we have committed unto Him. We still have our disagreements and misunderstandings and idiosyncrasies that rub each other the wrong way, but we have survived and are still together. The children know this and know we love each other and that we are committed to each other and to them.
       Whether she had gotten cancer or not, I am sure we would have gotten back together sooner or later, but it would have probably been a lot rougher for us to readjust without the mellowing that her having cancer caused us both to go through. She is really a changed woman in so many ways, more peaceful and happier.
       When she talks about what the Lord has taught her through this, she glows and just shines, and everyone gets really fed when they hear her talk. She spends a lot of time with the Lord in prayer and the Word and you can really see it.
       I thought that was so neat that Dad said how cancer is really merciful because it gives you time to adjust to the idea that a loved one might be leaving soon. This is so different from what the System says; they lament it as the worst disease because it is so slow and painful.
       During this time I have often thought that it's such a blessing how the Lord has given Faith two years more of life with quite a bit of strength, and we have all learned to accept whatever God is going to do. But then I thought maybe I'm not supposed to think like that. So it was encouraging when Dad said that too.
       The Lord has always answered our prayers for Faith when she has a lot of pain, and I'm very thankful for His help. We always pray when she has pain and the Lord always changes things for the better. I am sure the cancer is painful, and a lot of it has to do with the fact that Faith is just amazingly strong and brave and positive, but everyone comments on how good Faith looks and acts.
       Since being back together, Faith and I have had a few traumatic times of soul-searching, having to face some of the ways we have hurt each other in the past, but the Lord has pulled us through all that. I think we are also learning there are certain things that we won't be able to change in the other and we might as well just accept them and live with them. When we do and we take them with a sense of humor, then things are easier. I know it helps me too, to face how much Faith has had to put up with me and my ways and how well she has done and how faithful and unwavering she has been to me and the kids.
       I think our being together in this time has shown me how true it is when the Lord says, "Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm, for love is strong as death. ... Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it" (Song of Sol.8:6a,7).
       I know the children and I will really miss Faith if she does go Home to be with the Lord, Dad and the big Family up There, but this hasn't really hit me yet. I don't know if it's being an Aries or having continually traveled and changed places and friends ever since I was four years old, or if it's just the Lord giving me grace, or if it's the fact that Heaven is so wonderfully close to us through Dad's words, but I don't worry much about the future. I know it will hit me hard if it happens, but there is one thing I am totally convinced of, and that is that His grace is sufficient. He has brought me through this far and He will never fail me or the children. I think it will hit me the hardest for the youngest kids, but I know He will pull us through.
       God bless you, Mama and Peter, I love you both dearly and pledge my undying troth to you! Thank you for loving us! We need you!
       Love forever,
       Philip (of Faith)

"Yet Will I Trust Him!" (Job 13:15b)
From Faith, March 1996
Dear Mama and Peter,
       I love you so so much! Wow! I was so surprised to receive your very encouraging letter with the prophecies from dear Dad and sweet Liz! It touched me that you care so much to take your precious time to comfort and encourage me. Thank you so much for your love and concern.
       I was very convicted by it too. I had written a letter to you about three months ago, but somehow I didn't have the faith to send it, thinking it was no good. I didn't want to bother you as you already have so many responsibilities to take care of. But after receiving your beautiful letter, asking me to write the testimony that I had already written, I was put to shame for my lack of faith and trust. So, I would like to enclose the letter I wrote a while back just the way I wrote it then.
       I love you so much, and pray for you, dear Mama and Peter.
       With much love and thankfulness,
       Your Faith


Letter from Faith, written December 1995 -- January 1996
Dear Mama and Peter,
       I love you, and am praying for you both. Many times I have made attempts to write to you and thank you for all your love, sacrifice, and hard work in shepherding and leading this beautiful worldwide Family.
       I'd like to use this time to pledge my loyalty to you, dear Mama and Peter, as my queen and king, who make it so easy for us to be good. I love you.
       Reading about your afflictions and pain has made me pray for you both with my whole heart, that the Lord will help and comfort you, and give you the strength to be able to carry on. You both, as well as dear Dad, have been the most beautiful example of endurance in your fight for your health. You both have so much faith, courage and cheerfulness, still praising the Lord through it all, no matter what.
       Your tender and loving concern for other people's pain and agony shows me how much you understand us, and feel what some of us are going through. Your faith in all of us, always assuming the best in all of us, is so convicting and touching, and makes me desire to become the person you see in me. The loving way you communicate about our precious brethren around the world, and have fought for our precious teens, as well as for dear Jesse's life after the Austin accident, gives me the confidence that you love us like Jesus does, and that we are just like your own. It feels so good and makes me believe that Jesus loves me too.
       I have been moved to tears many times by your wonderful sample and yieldedness to the Lord, and sacrificial love for all of us. I am so thankful for how you faithfully follow the Lord and lead us in the right way.
       In fact, your love and faith in us had a lot to do with me taking the stand of faith and trusting the Lord for my healing from cancer. It helps me to look at my affliction as a token of God's love.

The Lord Wanted More of Me
       I tend to be very spiritually lazy, complacent, and I easily grow weary of fighting. I very often feel it is too much trouble to face my fears, like persecution or sickness, for example. So by giving me cancer, the Lord has put me in a position where I have to fight whether I want to or not. I guess He knows that the way to get the best out of me is to put me under this fire. It sure helps me to depend more on the Lord.
       I can see so much more clearly how my own forcefulness, unloving attitude, and leaning on the arm of the flesh was a hindrance to my spiritual growth -- too much of me, not enough of Jesus. My heart's desire and prayer has always been to be of a meek and quiet spirit, to be loving and truly humble, to learn to be yielded to the Lord, and to depend more on Him.
       When I first found out I had cancer, I battled quite a lot of condemnation, because I didn't feel I had accomplished much for the Lord. I really thought that I deserved to die of cancer. But, of course, in the meantime I found that the Lord never gives us what we deserve. Thank God, He is so much better to us! Your beautiful Letters, Mama, have helped me to understand more how much the Lord really loves us.
       In the beginning I was troubled with fear of the unknown, fear for my children (especially my two youngest, who were six and eight then), fear of pain, and fear of making the wrong decision. I couldn't see how the Lord could possibly grant me healing, yet on the other hand, I had even less faith to go the medical route, with operations, chemotherapy and radiotherapy, like the doctors I went to told me I should.

My Objections to the Medical Route
       I had 12 years of experience in being a surgical nurse in different hospitals before joining the Family, and have personally seen and experienced how fallible and insufficient man can be. I just could not muster up the courage to give myself into the hands of doctors, even the very precious ones I met, who were very helpful and skilled doctors.
       To reinforce that feeling, the Lord allowed something to happen to the embarrassment of the sweet doctor who did all the tests on me. They lost my original papers in the hospital, and only after much searching did they finally find a copy of them.
       Then when I went for a confirmation at another excellent hospital, they mixed up my papers too, and I had to tell the doctor that he had the wrong mammogram [EDITED: "2"] on the screen. He was explaining how you could very clearly see the cancerous growth here and there on the mammography when, all the time, he was showing the picture of the right breast, which had no tumor! He was quite embarrassed when his mistake was pointed out! To top it off, the diagnosis on the test papers also said "right breast" when it was actually my left breast! As you can imagine, this didn't help to increase my faith in hospitals or doctors.
       [EDITED: "2"] mammogram X-ray image of the breasts for detection of tumors
       I didn't really want to take a biopsy [EDITED: "3"] from the cancer because, from my experience as a nurse I knew that when cut into, a cancerous tumor starts to mushroom (grow) really fast. I asked the cancer specialist about it, and he agreed and explained, "We only make a biopsy under anesthesia, and when the test is malign we operate immediately. The patient doesn't even wake up. We never consider that someone who takes a biopsy wouldn't want to go through with the operation and therapy afterwards."
       [EDITED: "3"] biopsy The removal and examination of a sample of tissue from a living body for diagnostic purposes
       He told me too, that if the knot in the breast is smaller than two centimeters, they just cut the tumor out, but if it is bigger than that, like it was with me, they amputate the whole breast, and cut the lymph nodes under your armpit, plus afterwards give chemotherapy and radiation.
       On the other hand, I also felt that I had to protect the Family, and my husband, Philip, from the possibility of getting sued or imprisoned, or the kids taken away in case I died trusting the Lord [EDITED: "without getting medical help"]. The thought of that happening was terrible for me. My dear CROs, Silas and Endureth and Cephas, reassured me that I didn't need to worry about that. They said I just needed to hear from the Lord, and go according to my faith, and that the Lord would take care of the rest.
       God bless them -- they and my husband Philip and my shepherds stood by me comforting me, uplifting me in their prayers, with beautiful messages of encouragement, and prophecies showing so much love and understanding for the battles I went through, helping me in any way they could. That was a tremendous help -- knowing that I wasn't alone in the battle.

How the Lord Gave Me Faith
       I knew the battle was on, and I didn't know what to do. Then, the most beautiful thing happened after desperate prayer for guidance! Sure enough, the Lord spoke beautifully through the GP Daily Might, April 5, which says, "By His stripes we are healed." I saw a vision of Jesus just crying for me, speaking to my heart, telling me that He went the extra mile to allow His body to be broken just for my healing.
       Suddenly, it dawned on me that the Lord didn't have to go that far; it wasn't part of the deal! To save us from our sins and give us eternal life, He died a cruel death on the cross. But He went the extra mile to suffer all the stripes, beatings and shame of a thorny crown being placed on His head, in order to give us healing too! It really broke my heart and I wept, realizing how much the Lord loves me in spite of my shortcomings and failures.
       It was then that I felt that supernatural peace flowing into my heart, and with it came the assurance and faith to touch Him, and ask Him for grace and faith, and for the healing of the cancer.
       Since then I've been able to trust Jesus for my life, and I know now that this affliction was tailored for me, to work God's will in my life. It's so thrilling to see the promises of His Word come true, and know that there is really nothing to fear. It feels so good to yield, to let go, and let God take over my life, my health, and my future.
       The Word is so comforting! When I am weak in faith and tempted to doubt, all I need is a dose of it, and the doubts and fears just vanish! I pray the Lord will give me the faith and grace for whatever He wants to put me through in the future, in order to remold me and make a better vessel out of me. I pray that He helps me to bear this affliction joyfully, and be a testimony of His love and power for others to see.

The Blessings of This Experience
       I feel very privileged to go through this experience. I can understand so much better now the precious brethren who have had to go through the fires of persecution, suffering, sickness or pain, and how in every case it has strengthened them, even though it was so painful and scary at first. It really boosts my faith, and helps me to trust Him too, and like Job, be able to say, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him" (Job 13:15).
       Lord help me, the past few years I have taken the Family for granted, and have forgotten what a privilege it is to be part of it, like I knew before I joined this worldwide movement. The Lord also broke my heart for the precious people out in the System who suffer similar afflictions, but don't have the comfort of the Lord and the wonderful promises of His Word, nor a beautiful Family of brothers and sisters who care for them, love them, and pray for them, like I have. I am so thankful for all the prayers and prophecies and comfort the Family has given me from all over the world. All that has helped give me a real peaceful feeling, and helped me be able to put myself totally into the Lord's hands, knowing that He cares so wonderfully for me. I have become God's little pet, and He is such a good Master, Who bestows so much love and tender care upon me.
       My prayer life, which hardly existed before, has changed so drastically, and has become my most precious time with the Lord now, because without Him, I am really nothing. I am just beginning to understand that.
       Dear Mama, I am so excited about what the future holds for me. I only pray I can be as yielded as you are. Whatever He does, I know He does it in love. The Lord has never failed me, and I know He will pull me through this one too.
       I was especially touched by the concern you showed to Abe [EDITED: "4"] (who stayed with us in this Home), and the beautiful and encouraging prophecies you sent to him. I was amazed at what an effect it had on sweet Abe. It gave him peace and faith to let go and reach out to Heaven, and the Lord then took him peacefully Home just a few days after he received your prophecies!
       [EDITED: "4"] Thai Abe suffered for some time with a debilitating brain tumor, until he passed on to his reward in late 1995.
       I love you so much, Mama and Peter, and appreciate and honor you. I still remember you, Peter, 20 or 21 years ago from Krefeld, Germany, as I was just a babe there. Your calm, loving, and humorous spirit impressed me even then. God bless you! I love you!
       Your letter, Mama, and the prophecies are so special to me, and many of the passages spoke right to my heart. I am so touched with your love for all of us. You care for the ones who feel so unworthy and useless. You really feel our heartcry, and express yourself so simply and clearly with such golden, childlike faith. I thank the Lord every day for you and Peter, as our loving queen and king.
       One time when praying for you, Mama, I got the passage where Solomon prayed for wisdom to lead and judge his people. The Lord honored your request too, and has poured much more love, wisdom and understanding out to you, in order to lead His people through these dark days to come, into a glorious new day!

Still a Testimony of Healing!
       The Lord has helped me to keep my eyes on Jesus, and has kept me miraculously for two more years now. Even though the tumor is growing and has spread to my bones now, which has been quite painful at times, especially lately, I still feel strong and healthy. Even the doctor was amazed that I still feel so strong and looked so healthy in my condition. He said, "When I saw you, I would never have thought that you were a cancer patient because you looked so healthy and happy." He commented that people with faith and a positive outlook do better with cancer, and that doctors don't understand it, but it's like a miracle!
       It was a real testimony to my relatives whom I just visited three months ago. They have been quite shaken by this. They were amazed at how well I felt, and after trying needlessly to get me into a hospital for treatment, they finally accepted the fact that I wanted to trust the Lord for my healing.
       Please pray for me that the tumor in my breast, which has broken through the skin already, doesn't break open, and that it reduces. Also, please pray for my bones, painful joints, legs and back.
       I hope that with this letter I am not discouraging others who want to go the medical way for healing. I do think that the Lord leaves it all up to us, and He has different ways with different people, knowing best what will help us the most.
       I love you, and God bless you!
       Your daughter,
       Faith (of Philip)

To Die Like We Live -- Trusting!
From Faith to Mama, April 1996
Dearest Mama and Peter,
       I love you and appreciate your loving concern for me, Philip and the children. Thank you so much for your encouraging letter to us. It took a while for me to grasp the whole thing, and I am still in awe.
       I feel so undeserving of this very special attention and praise you give me, dear Mama; it puts me to shame. I feel I fall so short of what I should be, but at the same time it has filled me with great joy! As undeserving as I may be, I figure the Lord doesn't make any mistakes, and if He even has our precious queen and king write to me, I'd better take it as another love token from Him.
       I do want to give glory to Whom glory is due -- that is, the Lord. He gives me the grace, peace, and the strength. I think Jesus knows I can't handle too much pressure or pain, so He makes it so easy for me. He gives me the faith because I have none. I'm actually a real worrywart. That's why the Lord gave me the name "Faith" in the first place, from "Faith praises no matter what happens" and "Praise is the voice of faith" -- to remind myself to praise Him more and have a more thankful and positive attitude towards life, not because I have so much faith, ha!
       Thank you for sending me the prophecies from Dad and Liz -- so sweet! I feel very honored to receive the personal invitation to Heaven from Dad, although at first I was surprised because most prophecies I've received from others have always been along the lines of the Lord healing me. ({\ul \i Editor's note}: Please see the GN with prophecies on healing, explaining this and other questions, coming soon, DV!)
       I remember, as Dad graduated, that I wanted to go There too, as that's where the action is! It was so appealing to me -- to just let go and go to Heaven. Everything Grandpa told us about Heaven was so Heavenly, and since I had already had a life-after-death experience, I knew from experience how true it was. It seemed easier for me to die than to live.
       I think that my motives were rather to chicken out here on life on Earth, thinking I'm not such a fighter, and wouldn't be of much use to the Lord here. It would be so much easier to just go up There, with Grandpa and our other loved ones, like Abe, Renee, Liz, and Jonadab (all of whom I knew while here), and not battle all these physical letdowns, afflictions, pain and sorrow. The "dying daily" seems so much harder for me.
       I realized that this type of thinking was just a bunch of self-pity, resignation to fate, and defeat. So I prayed then for some willpower to be willing to live again, if that is God's will for me. "Not my will, but Thine be done."
       Now I enjoy living again, but with more thankfulness for every new day and with greater awe, living the days as though they were my last. Even though I fall short each day, I want to try to be more loving the next day, by God's grace -- and I need lots of that kind of grace.
       I think that perhaps the Lord wanted me to face both sides and be able to say, "For whether I live or die, I am the Lord's, to do with as He wishes." If He wants to take me Home, it is fine with me. If He wants to heal me, which He certainly can do, that's also fine. Your message has actually taken away the pressure of my thinking that I have to do something so special in order to be healed, like come up with some kind of great faith to "deserve" healing. It was a little bit like a works trip with me before.
       It really made things clearer to me, as dear Liz explains in the prophecy, "Faith is not only to wait for healing, but to trust God in dying. Sometimes our death can even be a greater witness than our lives, because we can die like we lived -- trusting. ... To die victoriously takes even greater faith, which shows it is a miracle." This really made things clearer to me.
       I felt before that the young people expected me to be healed, and I didn't want to fail them. I know they are watching what the Lord is doing in my case. My daughter told me, "Enough people in the Family have died from cancer. Now it's time for the Lord to heal some." So I have always felt a little pressure to come up with great faith to be healed, fearing that otherwise I would fail them and the Lord.
       It looks to me like we can make our lives unnecessarily painful that way, striving for something that might not be God's will. When somebody dies of a sickness, it's not because their faith wasn't strong enough to heal them, but rather that God had a different way, a different plan for them. Thank You Jesus!
       Lord help me, I didn't really prepare my younger kids for the possibility that I might die, because they have battled quite a bit with fear, and nightmares of me dying. Because it was so painful for them, I tended to not talk about it with them. Awhile ago, Martin (9) told me, "Mommy, if you die, I don't want to live anymore." Hearing them talk like that just had a pull on me, and every time, I just fell apart, not being able to handle that.
       But I'm so thankful now, because the Lord has somehow given me the grace to overcome this big battle. Now I have the confidence that whatever happens with me, the kids will be fine and they will understand. I know Jesus loves them more than I do, and He knows their needs better than I do. I like the idea from Grandpa's prophecy that I can have greater influence on the children from Heaven than I can from here.

How Grandpa Helped the Children
       I am so thankful that Philip is such a good daddy to them. It gives me peace and faith now, and I believe the kids have such a special place in Jesus' heart, and a special calling to fulfill. He cares for His Own. I'd also like to thank my precious Family worldwide for their encouraging notes, letters, and for all their prayers. I feel very privileged to have such loving brethren who, through their prayers, help me fight these battles.
       As Philip and I told our children the exciting news that Mama had a special message for all of us, before we said anything else, Martin started crying right away, asking, "Is the message about your cancer?"
       "Yes!" I said enthusiastically.
       He then burst into tears again, saying, "No, I don't want you to die!" So I took him outside for a sweet walkie-talkie. Because I have more peace about it all than I had before, and it doesn't give me such pain anymore, I could talk about it without getting all emotional. I even had some fun with him, playing with him, trying to catch him, etc., reassuring him that I wasn't dying yet, and I prayed with him.
       At first I was afraid to read my invitation from Grandpa to the younger ones. But we went ahead by faith, reading your message, not wanting to withhold the New Wine from them. Dad gives me such a beautiful invitation to Heaven, and explains with so much care to the kids what Heaven is like. We then had a wonderful time singing and praising the Lord together, and talking about Heaven. It was beautiful!
       I was so happy that the Lord just took over, and that Grandpa's message from Heaven actually helped the children face their fears. It is so true, like Grandpa says in the prophecy, how it's a blessing to have this time from the Lord to prepare my loved ones for the possibility that I may die.
       Thank you, Mama and Peter, for praying for me, and having the faith and the burden to give this comforting message to me. I believe it helped us all to let go and trust Him for the outcome.

The Enemy Attacked!
       Since I received your message where you asked me to write my testimony, and I've been actually taking the time to seriously write, I've been feeling more pain and weakness than before. I was heavily attacked with doubts and fears, and experienced a few sleepless nights. In fact, last night I couldn't sleep at all. I had quite a battle with pain and confusion, not knowing what to do. I feel a little bit ashamed to admit this, but I'll write anyhow and try to explain what I've been battling, as the victory never comes without a battle!
       Since Dad's invitation to Heaven arrived, Lord help me, I kind of stopped fighting for my healing, and at night thoughts started entering my mind like, "Well, since I will die anyway, I'd better make sure my death will not be so painful. Perhaps I should go for an operation to cut that growing tumor out so that I don't have that pain in my breast and armpit anymore." I knew that it would not heal me because the cancer has spread to other organs. I only thought it perhaps would lessen the pain. ({\ul \i Editor's note}: To better understand what Faith was going through here, see her explanation on page 15, "Why I Chose the Path I Did," where she explains how the Lord led her to put her health completely in His hands, rather than going the medical route. The battle she went through on this night was whether or not to continue with this approach.)
       Half asleep, that night I heard a strange voice clearly urging me to go for that operation, and take painkillers, etc. I'm not usually the type of person who hears voices, so I wasn't sure who was talking to me, the Lord or the Devil. I was troubled and in pain, feeling terrible, thinking, "How could I possibly explain that to Mama and the Family?"
       I got up quietly so as not to disturb Philip, and went to the dining room to pray and demand the Lord to show me. I told Him that I don't really claim to have any great faith, but that I believe it was He Who clearly showed me to trust Him for healing. I told Him that I was willing to change directions if that was indeed His will. Since I am often quite dull and dumb in spiritual things, He needed to make it very clear to me so that I couldn't in any way misunderstand Him.
       Then the passage about Jesus getting tempted by the Devil came to me, and I opened up the Word Basics. Immediately my eyes fell on exactly the same passage: Matthew 4:1-11, and 1Peter 1:6-9:
       "Then was Jesus led up of the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted of the Devil. And when He had fasted forty days and forty nights, He was afterward an hungered. And when the Tempter came to Him, he said, 'If Thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread.' But He answered and said, 'It is written, "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God."'
       "Then the Devil taketh Him up into the holy city, and setteth Him on a pinnacle of the temple, and saith unto Him, 'If Thou be the Son of God, cast Thyself down: for it is written, He shall give His angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone.' Jesus said unto him, 'It is written again, "Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God."'
       "Again, the Devil taketh Him up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth Him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them; and saith unto Him, 'All these things will I give Thee, if Thou wilt fall down and worship me.' Then saith Jesus unto him, 'Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, "Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and Him only shalt thou serve."' Then the Devil leaveth Him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto Him" (Matthew 4:1-11).
       "Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations: That the trial of your faith, being more precious than of gold which perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honor and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ: Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see Him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory: receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls" (1Peter 1:6-9).
       And then the Lord comforted me with Luke 1:45, "Blessed is she that believed, for there shall be a performance of those things which were told her from the Lord."
       I realized there is a spiritual warfare going on, and how it is so good to count the cost when writing a testimony of faith. The Devil fears it, and tries everything, within the limits God has set, to destroy the testimony, just like he was allowed to test Job. It sure sobered me, and got me going again, and made me mad at the Devil and his tricks and lies. It is one thing to live a life of faith quietly somewhere, but yet another thing if you testify of it and come out in the open with it. That's when all hell breaks loose.
       I'm just so excited to experience that, and to be able to knock the Devil for a loop with the most powerful weapon, the Word! It is such a joy and release when you know unmistakably that this is exactly His answer to your prayer! It is the Lord speaking to your heart!
       In moments like this, I know that Jesus is right there waiting with open arms to hold me, and love me. I was crying and laughing at the same time, and great thankfulness filled my heart for a great victory won! His Word never fails, and is "sharper than any two-edged sword." I really like the quote from "To Comment, or Not to Comment" [EDITED: "ML #3040, GN 670"] where it says, "It is the receptive heart that finds peace." Thank You Jesus!

The Fight of Faith Continues
       I now understand, too, that it is the Lord's grace that I don't usually experience too much pain, and still feel strong. Sometimes I entertained the thought that perhaps I don't have such a bad case of cancer, because I still feel strong and healthy in spite of the advanced state I am in, where I should actually be experiencing more pain. I think the Lord needed to show me how it feels without that grace. I sure don't take it for granted anymore. I know now it is a miracle, all thanks to the Lord Who makes it bearable for me.
       So now, although I would love to accept Grandpa's invitation to join him in Heaven, I somehow feel I should keep fighting for as long as I live. It's a little like David with his first child by Bathsheba. The Lord said the child would die, but David prayed for his healing until the child actually did die. I do accept Dad and the Lord's invitation to join them in Heaven, but my times are in the Lord's hands, so I plan to keep on fighting till that day comes.
       I don't think it was the fault of the message that I got attacked with doubts and fears. But I just gave up and quit fighting, and the Devil used the time I had my guard down to give me a blow. And of course, the Lord allowed the Devil to test me.

The Doctors Testify!
       (Later, in April 1996:) It seemed wise to have a friendly doctor assisting our situation in case I die. I knew it would take a miracle to find one who would allow me to operate as I feel led, because the doctors I'd seen before were really pushing me to go for an operation and treatment.
       Today I went with Philip to the Cancer Institute in hopes of finding a doctor who was willing to monitor my health, and be a counselor in case I needed help. By a miracle, the Lord led us to a precious doctor who respects our faith as Christians. He understood my stance, and is willing not to interfere with my wishes to trust God. Thank You Jesus for answering our prayers!
       After the doctor examined me, he told me that I have metastasis [EDITED: "5"] in my bones, lungs, and liver, and gave me six months to one year to live. It was such a testimony to him that the Lord gave me so much peace and grace; he was amazed. We definitely want to invite him to our house, and have the kids sing for him. He's so precious!
       [EDITED: "5"] metastasis 1. Pathology  Transmission of pathogenic microorganisms or cancerous cells from an original site to one or more sites elsewhere in the body, usually by way of the blood vessels or lymphatics.  2. A secondary cancerous growth formed by transmission of cancerous cells from a primary growth located elsewhere in the body.
       Please pray that the Lord will open a new door for us to witness to all these dying cancer patients there, and give them hope and Salvation. That would make it worth it all!
       Much love and prayers,
       Your daughter Faith

Why I Chose the Path I Did
       P.S.: Some people in the Family have asked me why I have chosen to trust the Lord. The reasons, which I wanted to put down for you here, are as follows:
       I know from the Word that things don't just happen to a Christian by accident. God allows them; they're planned. He knows that these trials or sicknesses bring the best out in me. It's like it says in "Makings Through Breakings": "In fact, this is the story of every one of us who is of any real use to the Lord's work. To get us to be what He wants us to be usually requires many breakings, humblings, meltings, remoldings, reshaping and remaking into a better vessel, better than we were, better than we thought we were, and much more yielded and useful for His Kingdom. But the Lord won't force it! The breaking depends on us and our yieldedness and willingness to be made willing" (ML#2305:12-13).
       I believe the cancer He gave me is in answer to my prayers. I asked Him to remold me, and make a better and more useful vessel out of me. I wanted that yieldedness, and God's love. So far only good things have come out of these breakings and squeezings. I believe it has done the trick, and slowly but surely the Lord is making a new woman out of me. I can't run away from God, so it's better to hold still and let Him finish what He has begun in whatever way He sees fit, to either heal me or take me Home. His will be done. Thank You Jesus! Going to the doctor and hospitals, having an operation and taking medicine wouldn't have solved anything for me. I didn't ask Him to give me cancer, but I asked Him to do anything it took to change me. He just answered my prayer, and I am not ever sorry I asked.
       Here is a little summary of the reasons why I took the stand of faith:
       1. I believe God doesn't give us anything He Himself doesn't want us to have.
       2. It was an answer to my prayer to draw closer to Him, to love Him more. I told Him to do anything He has to, to make a new vessel out of me. Like the story of the sheep whose leg was broken and had to be carried by the Shepherd, but who afterwards never went astray anymore.


From Mariko (19):
       Faith asked me to share a sweet little miracle the Lord did while I was typing her testimony, which has actually been very inspiring and faith-building. While typing this testimony, I felt really touched by all that she's gone through, and all of a sudden this little poem came to me, which I'll include here.
       Actually, during my junior teen years up until I was a senior teen, I had a lot of emotional highs, and was easily moved, so I used to write a lot of poems during those times. I kept about five years' worth of my poems in a little book, and about a year ago somehow that poem book got lost and I never found it. I was really discouraged about it, and since then I hadn't written any poems, at least any that I had kept. Also I didn't seem to be as emotional and hardly ever have those types of "highs" anymore.
       Anyway, while typing Faith's testimony, I was really touched, and all of a sudden these lines started to fill my head, just the way I used to get poems before. I marveled at how sweet the Lord was to give me that poem, and I was equally inspired when Faith told me how much it encouraged her! Thank the Lord!

       Oh, what sweet release to be able to rest,
       To let go of life's cares, and with peace be blest,
       To forget all worries and earthly ills,
       And be held by Jesus, Who loves and heals.

       Oh, to fly to Jesus, casting aside all cares,
       To be loved by Jesus, and His comfort share,
       To be overshadowed by such Heavenly love,
       And be strengthened with power "we know not of."

       To live in Jesus, and Him in me,
       Oh what joy, what bliss, what victory!
       To leave my life in the nail-pierced hands,
       Of precious Jesus, Who understands.

       To let go of this earth, and reach up to You
       Is a blessed assurance, a joy renewed.
       May I trust You in strength, in weakness, and pain
       And fly to Your arms Lord, again and again!

Appreciation Night for Faith!
From the DF Home (Thailand), February 1996:
       Two of Philip and Faith's daughters live at the DF Home--Larissa, who is 19 years old and is working with the children, as well as Mary, 22, married to Paul Heart. Mary is actually on the teamwork there and Paul Heart works with Michael Piano in the studio.
       After hearing that Faith is feeling quite poorly these days, we felt burdened to show our appreciation for her. We invited her and Philip over for the day so they could have some sweet time with both of their girls, as well as their grandchild, Robin (of Paul and Mary). This was followed by a dinner together with the whole Home, where Faith shared her testimony and how she joined the Family. Michael Piano, Paul and Mary, together with Larissa, sang some beautiful songs, in between sharing things with Faith and/or Philip about what she means to them and how much they love her. It was all a big encouragement to her. A team had received prophecies for her beforehand, which we printed on nice paper and presented to her that evening. They were very beautiful!

Excerpts of prophecies for Faith
       For I have called you and chosen you in the furnace of affliction that you might be as shining examples to many of faith and trust in Me. How beautiful you are in My sight! How lovely! What faith you have, such strong faith! Because of your faith, you please Me.
       I love you and will not fail you. I have given you much to hold on to, much Word. Thank you for being such a shining example of trusting Me, of not wavering, even though you felt weak, incapable. I trust you. I know you'll make it, because you rely on Me. You have grown so beautiful, such a beautiful spirit. I knew you would grow. I am so proud of you.


       Look at her! How bright! How shiny! Look at her in the furnace of affliction. I have brought this out and I have brought it about in My love and I am very proud of you. So be not weary in well doing. Be not weary, hold on. Hold on to My promises, hold on to My promises in the end and the hour of great distress. That is the time to not let go, but to hold on.
       For I have loved you with an everlasting love that shall not be taken away from you. I will perfect that which concerneth thee. It is a touch from My hand, for I do all things well. If you will only trust and obey, I will continue to lead and guide you. I will see you through to the finish line, for I have said it: "I will never leave you nor forsake you, for I am with you always, even to the end of the world." For you are Mine; you are bought with a price. It is like the footprints in the sand; I am carrying you.
       Do not go by feeling, but go by fact, and hold on to My Word. Hold on to My promises, as your loved one beside you encourages you and strengthens and uplifts. Hold on, I say, hold on. As your loved ones around you uphold you in prayer, their prayers please Me and reach the halls of Heaven. Their prayers will not go unanswered; even they are drawn closer to Me through this. For many are learning lessons of love, many are learning precious lessons of love. And I am very near, I am right by you, so hold on tight.


I come to bring thee a message
       from beyond the crystal sea,
Where everlasting happiness
       and joy waits for thee.
Heavenly bliss and melodies
       and praise without alloy,
The golden streets and fields of green
       and everlasting joy.
I come to bring thee tidings
       of the Home that is prepared,
With every fragrant blessing
       of the love that you have shared.

I come to bring thee comfort
       in thy hour of great distress,
For the loving Words of Jesus
       with thy heart I will caress.
I come to bring thee visions
       of thy Home prepared on high,
Of every dream that thou hast
       longed for, far beyond the sky --
All created in perfection
       for your every heart's desire,
By the loving Heavenly Father
       Who my words does now inspire.

I come to bring thee love
       from the Savior's loving heart
Where in His Heavenly Kingdom,
       you will never be apart.
For His heart does long to bless thee,
       guide thee safe into His realm,
And His hand does safely lead thee
       as He steers at bale's [EDITED: "6"] ship's helm.
So look deeply and look lovingly
       into His radiant face,
For the Heavenly land that cometh,
       all thy sorrows will erase.

I come to bring thee comfort
       and to wipe away thy fears,
That thou mayest share this message
       with others around thee here.

       [EDITED: "6"] bale Mental anguish or suffering. "Relieve my spirit from the bale that bows it down."--Benjamin Disraeli


       Rejoice in this, thy great salvation, and be joyful in Me, for I am your God and I have clothed you in a garment of praise. For if you joy in Me, this shall be your strength. You shall not be weak, but you shall be strong, if you are praising Me and are happy in Me. See how the little hills rejoice and jump for joy; see how the children take such pleasure in even the little delights that I send your way.
       It doesn't take very much to satisfy your souls; a thankful soul is a happy soul. For there is so much good and so much wonder and so much beauty all around, so much light, even in the midst of hard times and difficulties, and you can know that I love you. Therefore be joyful in Me and I will be your strength and I will satisfy your heart.


       (Vision:) I kept getting a picture of a race and Faith was coming to the finish line. She was running out of breath, but there were all these people around her, cheering her, supporting and right there to cheer her up to the finishing line. She was surrounded by her loved ones and everyone was rejoicing and cheering and watching her make it to the finish line.

A Witness with Her Last Breath!
From ASCRO, February 1997
       It seems that Faith's condition is worsening very rapidly. She is now bedridden and the Home has a very dear friend who has arranged for a nurse to come twice a day. She is being fed intravenously because she can't eat any more without it making her sick to her stomach and throwing up. Faith continues to be very positive and full of faith and is looking forward to the Lord taking her Home soon.
       It has been worked out for almost all of her children to be with her during this time. Anne CRO (SGA) is the daughter of Philip and Faith. She is also going back and forth visiting there frequently as well. The Home has been very precious and taking very good care of her. One of their friends has just bought and installed an aircon in Faith's room so it would be more comfortable for her during this time, as it's quite hot here.
       We thank you so much for your prayers and loving concern for Faith. We were just thinking the other day how amazing it is that in the last couple of years the Lord has taken so many people from the Bangkok area Homes to be with Him: Renee of Tim, Thai Abe, Jonadab of Praise, Liz, and Faith will make the fifth. So soon we'll have five representatives just from the Bangkok area working and helping us from Heaven. Praise the Lord! Faith seems to be doing very well spiritually and is continuing to be full of faith, just like her name. PTL! Please pray that the Lord has His perfect timing for her passing to the other side.


From Philip, February 12, 1997:
       The situation with Faith has taken up a good bit of time which has been beautiful, something that I would not trade for the world. Her condition is worsening rapidly to where she can't eat anymore, and she doesn't expect to eat any more. She is now on an IV drip and taking morphine twice a day. She is usually awake and very coherent, but anxious to get on her way to Heaven to get to work in her new ministry. Some days she looks like she is really bouncing back, but basically now she is bedridden full-time. So her days of seeming progress are usually one step forward after two or three backward. Looking over some prophecies that were received for her last September, it seems the Lord is promising the very worst stage of suffering will be just for a moment. So I believe and we pray that that means this will go rather fast now.
       Our daughter Larissa, 20, is a real sacrificial Florence Nightingale for Mom too. I just prepared a message to all the kids to let them know it may not be long and now would be the time to visit. All the kids are being very brave. Last night I just started reading some prophecies to Faith and one by one all the kids came in and sat respectfully and listened. We then all sang some praise songs together and the Spirit was very very beautiful. Thank You Jesus!
       This is a hard time, but I know that it will also be a time of growth and strengthening of our ties with the Lord, the Family and each other. Everyone is being so precious and helpful to Faith and me, there just couldn't be a better place than the Family. So much love!


From Philip, February 28, 1997
       Faith, who is now in the last stage of cancer and is totally bedridden and living only on an IV drip, has continued to be a witness to the very end. One of our closest sheep, Somporn, a 25-year-old young man who taught some of us Thai for six months and now regularly visits to get fed from the Word, came over during the Feast and asked how Faith was. I told him that she was very near death and it would not be long till she would go to Heaven.
       The last time he had seen her she had been quite active, so he was quite shocked that it all happened so fast. He said that she and a few others had had such a profound effect on his life and they were the reason he now loved Jesus and why his whole life had changed. He explained that her sample of being happy and full of faith even though she was dying had convinced him of how real Jesus was, almost more than anything else we had told him.
       He said he loved her very much and asked to see her. We asked Faith and she said she wanted to see him, but asked that we explain to him that she may not be able to talk much or at all. We did this and then he went up to her bedroom. A beautiful anointing fell on Faith to witness to this precious young man who we feel belongs in the Family, but has obligations that keep him from joining full-time.
       Somporn took her hand and knelt by her bedside, telling her how much he loved her and how she had changed his life and given him a reason for living, and that he would miss her. He said he would pray for her every day. It was a beautiful scene, like a patriarch giving his blessing before being gathered to his fathers, as Faith told Somporn she knew the Lord wanted him to serve Him and that she would come back to whisper in his ear and try to help guide him. He said, "Yes, do that. I want you to guide me and help me help others."
       When he left the room, there was an awed look on his face, like he knew he had been in God's presence. I don't think he will ever forget that witness, that someone with hardly enough strength to speak used some of their last breath to care for his soul and future.

Faith Has Graduated!
From ASCRO, March 18, 1997
       Dear Faith (of Philip) graduated at 10:30 p.m. Saturday, March the 15th. Praise the Lord!
       During the Feast we thought Faith was going to go Home, however her condition stayed stable for quite a while. It even improved recently, and she started drinking more liquids and even wanting to eat, which was astounding! She was still bedridden, but she became perky, alert and active, making sure her children were well taken care of.
       A couple of days before her Homegoing she started sleeping throughout the day, not waking up very much. One day before her Graduation she slept through care the nurses and brethren were giving her. The following day her blood pressure dropped to a coma stage, and by Saturday evening she went Home to be with Jesus. We believe her spirit departed even a day or so before she actually went, as she had been very peaceful and sleeping most of the time. This no doubt was a very happy and peaceful Homegoing for dear Faith. Thank You, Jesus!
       The burial is happening outside the city where a place for Faith has been provisioned through a contact of the Family. The funeral will be held outside with some of their Home's close friends. There will be a special service at home for the Family as well. The Lord has provided every step of the way, with a queen of the Home being a tremendous help in providing medical services and taking care of legalities, etc.
       Another inspiring note: We received a short testimony from a Home in Turkey about a close friend of theirs who had been in the Family in the past, and is renewing contact. This woman has battled with alcoholism but has helped the Family with translations and even donations in recent months. The Family there was able to share Faith's testimony with her and she cried the whole way through. She kept exclaiming that it was so much like her and she could relate to it and it really spoke to her heart. The Family mentioned that it was quite a breakthrough for this woman.
       We're so thankful that the Lord has now another of His brides and Family members in Heaven with Dad and his team, looking down on us and surely assisting us and helping us! Praise the Lord!

[EDITED: "End"]

Copyright (c) 1997 by The Family