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Sex Questions and Answers--Part 2       GP 816       09/79
Part II of "Sex Questions and Answers" is dedicated to the subject of "WOMEN AND SEX"!

       Everything YOU wanted to know about SEX!

Questions from the "Confidential Questionnaires" with answers from the Letters by FATHER DAVID AND MARIA

       Q: I have been married for years and have never yet reached an orgasm. Can you help me with any tips?

       A: LOVEMAKING IS AN ART!--Sometimes highly technical, sometimes just plain hard work, and you've gotta really work at it-both of you! The girl may have to work hard to get him in shape, and he may have to work hard to make her flip!--I mean really hard! As the Bible says: "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might." (Ecc.9:10)--all your might, if necessary--whatever it takes, do it! The woman should by all means be satisfied, if at all possible, and it is possible by the grace of God and with a little help from your husband or your own self-stimulation.
       OTHERWISE SHE MAY BE LEFT WITH THE FEELING OF UNFULFILLED DESIRE AND FRUSTRATION AND IN A PHYSIOLOGICAL CONDITION. She continues to feel tense, irritable, frustrated and disappointed. If this dissatisfaction is repeated often enough, it can eventually result in actual physical complications such as backaches, headaches, and even more serious troubles, real or imagined. Any reasonable method is worth a try to help you experience your orgasm regularly and pleasurably. If you want to keep her happy, Boys, or even keep her, you've got to work at it with all your might! It takes time, sacrifice, and real effort sometimes to get her going, and make her hit the jackpot, but you should do everything you possibly can to succeed, or help her succeed! As the old saying goes, "If at first you don't succeed, keep on trying till you do!" Be patient, wait for the other one, and do all you can to help them finish! Some say it's 90 percent psychological: You gotta talk 'em into it, woo them into it, inspire them into it, thrill them spiritually into it, excite them with words, music, flowers, or perfume! Words sometimes can do more for a woman than anything else--especially if you are speaking with love, tenderness, and meaning and sincerity. Like happiness, lovemaking is a lot of different things to a lot of different people, and the same thing doesn't necessarily work on everybody! IT TAKES VARIETY--the spice of life! If she has a lot of inhibitions & she is all tense with a lot of these crazy phobias and fears and so on, wine can really help loosen her up! Sometimes one position will satisfy her better than you, and another position satisfies you better than her, so try them all. Some people like to put some padding or a pillow under the girl's hips if she is lying in a bed. Some women can hardly even reach a climax without their hips propped up quite a ways by a thick pillow.--Or put her on the edge of the bed or table or car seat while you stand up beside it and do it.--She'll feel great, and you'll love it! Keep going as long as you can and help her all you can! Kiss her, love her, pet her, fondle her, keep going as long as you are able, and tell her to keep going. If she has to stick her hand down there, keep going, so that she can finish and she can be satisfied also. You've got to be honest and open with each other! You have to be humble, confess and admit that you're human, you have a human fleshly need. Be honest about it and don't be afraid to satisfy her, or him, whatever it takes! Talk, converse, communicate, ask questions, give answers! Different women are pleased in different ways!--Some like it one way, some another! Find out what she likes, and give it to her! It's just as simple as that! THERE'S REALLY NO SUCH THING AS A FRIGID WOMAN IF THE RIGHT MAN GETS AHOLD OF HER WITH THE LOVE OF GOD and the help of a strong right hand! Ask God to help you be that man if you haven't been so far! Don't be so damn selfish that you just hop on and go to it and drop off to sleep and ignore your partner's needs, ignore her desires, ignore her satisfaction, because she can reach just as extreme an orgasm as you can, believe it or not. And girls, let me tell you something: Don't be afraid to do what you feel like doing! Don't be ashamed to show it! If he is so damn stupid and lazy that he refuses to do it for you, you can help yourself and use your own fingers down there! LET GO AND LET GOD, and enjoy the power of total surrender to the Spirit in an orgy of sexual orgasms of your God-given organs! Remember, happiness is not found by pursuing it for yourself.--Happiness finds those who give it to others!--So do your best to make your made happy, and you'll find this makes you happy also--if you really love, as God loves, unselfishly. Selfishness destroys any relationship. Try a little real love and unselfishness by the grace of God!--It works wonders! (154:71; 258:85,86; 154:72; 259:124; 154:73; 259:128; 154:73; 259:95,104,142,143,107; 154:74; 259:144; 154:74; 259:102,103,74; 258:91; 259:148)

       Q: How can I reach an orgasm during actual intercourse? To achieve an orgasm spontaneously, without additional masturbation, would be a dream come true!

       A: PRELIMINARY LOVE-MAKING IS SO IMPORTANT! If the man has loved the woman properly, tenderly, and gently, and caressed her as he should, she can be usually encouraged to make love and want to make love real bad, or real good! Simultaneous climax is not too frequent. It is a little rare, but it's possible, and it's nice if you can both go together. The man has a tendency to go first, but you can slow down, Boys, and wait for her. In fact, you can even stop! Just stop, stop movement completely, and if necessary, she can slip her fingers down there between you and touch that spot with her hand, masturbate herself, and get herself going a little further and faster to try to catch up with you before you move again! Let's face it: NEARLY ALL GENUINE LOVEMAKING IS MASTURBATION PURE AND SIMPLE or a massaging of the sexual parts to orgasmic satisfaction by either the hands, fingers, mouth, tongue, or penis, and in some cultures even by the feet. Western science is even now developing some new and expensive toys such as electrical vibrators for artificial stimulation in masturbation, particularly for the female who seems a little hard to satisfy in some cases. Girls who seem only able to respond fully to this manual stimulation of the clitoris, rather than in normal intercourse, sometimes have a little difficulty in transferring this feeling to the act of intercourse alone. So such girls should by all means be climaxed by this tactile manipulation of the clitoris by hand, either by her partner or herself in order to be sure to achieve the full satisfaction of a complete orgasm and its consequent release and relaxation from tension, and the blissfully restful feeling which should follow!
       --If you're having serious problems and all else seems to have failed, maybe a good book on the subject will help you to find the trouble, or help you cure it! (259:33,39,49,106,107,108; 258:51,84; 154:74)

       Q: At times I don't achieve a complete orgasm, and I feel ashamed of telling my husband. How can I get over this?

       A: I BELIEVE ONE OF THE GREATEST ASSETS TO A GOOD RELATIONSHIP IS HONESTY. Don't hide anything from each other! Share all things, and bear all things, and take no account of evil...Between husband and wife, there should be no secrets; there should be communication! How long has it been, Boys, since you communicated with your wife? What kind of communication, Girls, do you have with your husband? If your communication with God is good, you will have excellent communication with your husband, because God is the central exchange that makes the connection! Fear is a terrible thing. You need faith to get married. You need to relax, trust the Lord, trust your husband! A good letter to study on this is "Bell, Book and Candle," which deals with the effect that pride has on sexual potency or impotency, for pride is the arch-enemy of sex! Sex was not the Devil's idea!--It was God's!--And the Devil is its arch-enemy! Being the hypocrite that he is, he tries to make you too spiritually proud to enjoy it, and to pretend to be the saint that you aren't, instead of the little devil you really are! Enjoy yourself and sex and what God has given you to enjoy without fear or condemnation! For "perfect love casts out all fear", for "fear hath torment," particularly sexual fears can be physical torture! Let yourself go into the bosom of God and let God do it to you in an orgasm of the Spirit till you're free! You're His Wife!--Sock it to Him! (49:12; 123:31,3; 259:84; 258:91,93)

       Q: Why doesn't my husband want more sex?--I can't seem to attract him anymore!

       A: Since sexual activity only holds his full attention for a very small fraction of your total time together, it would be very wise for you to remember that, to continue to interest him and attract his attention and his humanly constantly wavering and waning occupation with your physical charms, you must count on keeping his love drawn toward you the vast majority of the time with more magnetism of the mind and inspiration of the spirit, and that irresistibly charming holy-of-holies of your heart, that intangible magical something called real genuine love, that can be manifested every moment of every day, continually being revealed in all its splendour! REAL LOVE IS A SPIRITUAL THING! It's not merely physical, but it is also manifested in the physical, but not in a mere jump-on-jump-off relationship! It's mostly manifested in the spiritual and mental companionship and compatibility of likes and dislikes and things and habits that you have in common. Even the few things you don't have in common can sometimes be interesting and amusing. The woman who desires to hold her man had better seek some better way of holding him than mere sexual desire and sexual craving and physical excitement. The things of this earth can satisfy your body but God has made you so that your soul or heart or spirit can only be satisfied by the things which are spiritual and the things of the spirit! (250:6,26,36,37)

       Q: I am the dominant partner in our relationship. Are there rules to follow in this?

              A: THE SUPERIORITY OF A WIFE OVER HER HUSBAND IN SPIRITUAL THINGS, IN THIS DAY AND AGE IS NOT RARE! When it comes to God's work in the realm of the Spirit and the ministry of the Church, there is no male nor female in Christ Jesus, neither bond nor free! If she has training, spiritual education, talents and gifts which far exceed yours in the spiritual ministry of the church, then you must not try to hold her down! You're apt to break her spirit, crush her heart, smother her zeal, destroy her ministry, and displease God! Watch out! Don't stand in God's way, even if it's God in your wife, or you'll be sorry, and so will she, for she may have to go on without you, rather than fail God, and God is more than able, in these exceptional cases, to supply her with a better co-worker, who will acknowledge her gifts, give way to her ministry, and do everything he can to help her perform it.

       LET GO AND LET GOD WORK THROUGH YOUR WIFE--now, before it's too late, or both she, and God will leave you behind! Don't either hinder the other! Obey God! Work together! Know your limitations! Use all your talents! In the operation of the spiritual gifts there is true equality for women! He promised to pour out His Spirit upon His sons and daughters! But when it comes to the operation of sex and the home and the husband/wife relationship, God has made it very clear who's the boss! ONLY IN THE PHYSICAL, MATERIAL HARD LABOUR OF SOME TASKS DO WE RECOGNISE THE SUPERIORITY OF THE MAN as the stronger one, as well as in the home relationship of husband and wife, although there is equality here also in the Lord. (49:24,21,25,26,28; 123:19; 172:156)

       Q: I think I have a very serious infection which hinders me while I make love. What should I do about it?

       A: FOR GOD'S SAKE, IF YOU DO DISCOVER YOU'VE GOT A PROBLEM, REPORT IT IMMEDIATELY and/or go straight to the doctor for treatment! If you're not concerned about yourself, at least be concerned for the sake of others so you don't spread it to somebody else. IF YOU'VE GOT SOMETHING AND YOU DON'T REPORT IT, you can not only spread it to your husband or your wife but to your friends and everybody else they come in contact with--it's terrible! It is an absolute crime not to report it to us! In some countries it's a crime not to report it to the authorities! BUT FOR GOD'S SAKE, AT LEAST REPORT IT! Say, "I've got a little problem, I've got a little soreness, I've got an itching, I've got some little blisters, I'm having a little bleeding or a little discharge. I think maybe I've caught something, or I don't know what it is!" IT MAY BE NOTHING, you may just have abused and overused, or you may have some other ordinary little infection that's not even a contagious venereal disease, you understand? BUT YOU MUST GO TO THE DOCTOR TO FIND OUT before it becomes more serious or you take any chances on spreading it to somebody else. Please, for God's sake, report it! Or if you are ashamed to tell any one, go to the doctor yourself. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE ASHAMED OF IT. It's something that's very easy to happen to anybody. Husbands and wives who never had anything to do with anybody else sometimes get these things just through physical weakness, overuse, intemperance, immoderation, lack of proper lubrication, injury, etc. THE GERMS ARE ALWAYS THERE READY TO ATTACK when your organs are the weakest, or when they are sore or scratched or something like that. They're just looking for a door, a crack or a scratch or something to get into. IT'S JUST LIKE WHEN YOU CUT YOUR FINGER: If you don't disinfect it thoroughly it could get infected. Always disinfect your cuts or scratches. First wash your hands and/or the injury thoroughly with soap and water. Then, if you haven't got anything else, put perfume on it. Perfume has a lot of alcohol in it, so perfume is a disinfectant.--IF YOU HAVE AN INTERNAL INFECTION you can't very well merely wash that away once the germs have got started and you're infected; THEN YOU'VE GOT TO USE INTERNAL MEDICINES TO KILL IT. Thank God, they have invented enough medicines nowadays that they can kill almost anything, including you! (Maria: Some think until the doctor diagnoses them and tells them they do have something, they act like they don't have anything. Even if they see the symptoms they go on until they can get to the doctor.) IF YOU HAVE ANY KIND OF UNUSUAL SYMPTOMS, any extraordinary variation in your period, any kind of bleeding or discharge that's not normal, any vaginal itch or irritation or blisters or sores or soreness, anything which is not normal and comfortable, if you have anything at all that is at all questionable whatsoever, stop all lovemaking immediately and go straight to the doctor as fast as you can and get diagnosed and treated--and pray! Take the series of pills or suppositories or whatever it is and do it diligently and faithfully, and go back for your final checkup before you do anymore love-making whatsoever. Now that's an order, in Jesus' name! Obey His commandments! THAT'S NOT LOVE!--THAT'S LACK OF LOVE!--TO GO ON GIVING OTHER PEOPLE THE DISEASES that you've caught from others because you don't want to confess you have anything or you don't want to stop making love! That's selfishness!
       WHEN IT COMES TO GETTING ANY KIND OF INFECTIONS OR VENEREAL DISEASES, this is a risk that some of you run if you're not careful, prayerful and trust God enough. Anyone who has frequent sexual contact with even more than just two or three people of the world runs a pretty good chance of catching something if you don't watch your step. In case you happen to run into somebody who has a venereal disease it doesn't necessarily mean you're going to catch it, especially if you trust in the Lord for protection! Here are some ways to make sure you Biblically, according to the Bible and the Mosaic Law, can help to prevent that sort of thing. MAKE SURE THE MAN IS CLEAN, IF POSSIBLE. Both for yours and for his sake try to encourage him to take a shower or a swim or a bath both before and immediately after sex. Did you know that everybody has some of the bacteria of the venereal diseases always present in their body? And if your sexual organs become weakened through misuse, abuse or overuse, you're apt to have trouble if your resistance is down. THE BIBLE SAYS THAT AFTER LOVEMAKING YOU'RE TO BATHE in clean water and you are to change your clothing and even change the bedding! I doubt if very many people go that far. We always bathe, we usually change our clothing, but how many of you change the sheets after such a session? We'd better remember that. You'd eliminate most of your problems if you'd do these things: Urinate, wash, change! BECAUSE GERMS ARE ALWAYS PRESENT WAITING FOR A CHANCE TO ATTACK, and if you let them accumulate and you're dirty and you don't wash and you don't keep clean, then of course you're going to have problems. IT'S PRETTY EASY FOR MEN TO WASH WITH SOAP AND WATER IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARD. BUT YOU WOMEN SAY, "WELL, IT'S NOT POSSIBLE FOR US TO WASH INTERNALLY"--YES IT IS! IF YOU HAVE A POOL OR BATHTUB, immerse your body in water at least to the waist and slosh up and down. As you have found out after swimming, water will run out of you for quite a while after you get out of the pool. THE WATER GOES INSIDE AND THEN IT RUNS OUT, AND YOU HAVE BEEN WASHED INTERNALLY. That's the best thing you can do. Keep washed out and clean. CLEANLINESS IS NOT NEXT TO GODLINESS--IT IS GODLINESS! Most of your problems healthwise would be eliminated if people would just keep clean, not only your body but your clothes. Change your underwear frequently, keep clean! AND FOR GOD'S SAKE, AFTER SEX DON'T WITH DIRTY HANDS GO WIPING YOUR EYES AND STICKING YOUR FINGERS IN YOUR EARS and stroking his hair and all this stuff and spreading it all over! You may be spreading germs all over! Always immediately wash thoroughly with soap and water--your hands and your organs both if possible--every single time! IF I MAKE LOVE TWO OR THREE TIMES A NIGHT I GET UP ALMOST IMMEDIATELY EVERY TIME AND WASH. That's probably why I've lived this long without catching anything, thank God!--And I've made love to a lot of women! But I'm very careful to pray, trust God, and to obey and keep clean! SO DON'T FORGET TO KEEP CLEAN EVERY SINGLE TIME--and don't wait too long, wash immediately if possible. You girls must especially immerse the lower half of your body in the tub and this will take care of most of the internal washing. Some prefer internal douches. WHEN A MAN AND WOMAN GET THROUGH WITH A SEX SESSION they should not only wash but go to the toilet and urinate, because that's a great aid in internal cleansing, because uric acid is a great disinfectant. Urinate first, then wash! YOU SHOULD ALWAYS KEEP CLEAN AND WASH GOOD IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARD! YOU HAVE TO USE A LITTLE COMMON SENSE AND ESPECIALLY TRUST THE LORD! You do your best and God will do the rest!--(MARIA: IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO WAIT FOR THE LORD TO HEAL YOU, THEN YOU'VE BOTH GOT TO ABSTAIN while you're waiting for the Lord to heal you, at least abstain from making love with anybody else. If you want to make love together, well, that's one thing, but making love with anybody else is out.) Go to the doctor or the hospital to find out what's wrong with you so you'll know what God healed you from. Then after you are healed, go back for an examination to prove that God healed you! (555:67-75,81,82; 569: 138,139,142,137; 555:55; 353:353; 555:56,61,64-66,57,58,59,60,76-78; 563:35; 353:354,357; 599:22; 536:34)

(To be continued!)

Compiled by Adar David's.

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