Home Children of God Publications Prodigal Prodigies--Pt.4: Excerpts from Letters to Dad and Maria

The Family / Children of God

Internal Publications and Secret Directives

DISCLAIMER: The sole purpose of this page is to document the existence of a publication produced by The Family International a.k.a. The Family, Family of Love, Children of God and various pseudonyms (hereon referred to as TFI). It is provided for the record, for educational and research purposes, with the principal aim of promoting accountability by the TFI for its teachings and statements, which have proven detrimental to the lives of many. By replicating this material, exFamily.org neither endorses the views expressed in this publication nor justifies the existence of this publication and its statements. Reader discretion is advised. The material on this page may be unsuitable for minors and may contain disturbing words of racism, hate mongering, directives to unhealthy lifestyles and/or criminal activity, and/or contain plagiarized works.
THIS PUBLICATION MAY HAVE BEEN "SANITIZED." This digital format of this publication was extracted from TFI's HomeARC 99, which was subjected to encryption and editing by TFI, who, in order to hide its controversial writings and thus escape moral and/or legal accountability for past/present core beliefs and directives, sanitized (edited) and purged (deleted, destroyed, burned) its texts—both printed and electronic. Where possible, exFamily.org has compared this digital material with the cult's original paper-printed versions to ensure that this publication accurately reflects the original, uncensored version. Locations where the text has obviously or potentially been sanitized is hilighted with bright-red [DELETED] or [EDITED] markers.

EXCERPTS FROM LETTERS WRITTEN BY FAMILY LEADERS TO DAD & MARIA--REGARDING HOSEA!DO 952-4

--(Comments in Parentheses & Underlinings are Dad's.)

FROM JUAN, 9 November 1980: GBY! GIJN! Faithy is in good health & happy & inspired (PTL!) & is looking very beautiful & sexy, especially since we can still wear our Summer clothes! TTL! (--Ha! Thanks for taking such good care of her!--Others lost the crown you're winning! GBY!)

For the first day we just let Ho do the talking & trying to make him feel relaxed enough so that he would express what was in his heart. It was hard for us as he sometimes has a very bossy attitude & was making everyone a little bit nervous. He immediately wanted to discuss having the MWM for China worked out & started to share with Simon Peter. So after realising that he could have not heard about "Porno Movies" or the RD, we felt, especially Faithy, that it was time to confront him & deal with him. (Amen!) We read "Sinking Boat Dream" & "The Little Dog Dream," besides your recent comments in "Porno" & the RD which were very useful. All along this time he was always telling us how Esther was really broken & that she is doing good now. (Ha!)
Ho brought out some points such as Esther's bitterness against him & especially Dad for allowing him to get together with Ruthie. Also, that she has never really felt that our doctrine of sharing was really of the Lord, & she always brings mother's sample into the picture. (--Dandy bad!)
I feel that even Ho is a little mentally unstable as he sometimes does not make much sense in the things he says. (--Like his Mom.) Although sometimes he really seems to be sorry & wanting to change, all of a sudden he just goes back to his same ways & tries to run things. (His Mom's own son!) It really is like what you mentioned in your letter about his similarity with mother, as that was the way she acted. (Right!) We pray that he will get back on the track, although it seems like he is going to need a lot of help. (Amen!)
He seems to be really inspired by the whole atmosphere here, which is probably being a refreshing feeling for him after having to hear Esther's murmurs & doubts. (--Poor boy.) Just today after he read "Porno Movies" he said that he did not feel "Porno Movies" was too strong (?) & that Esther could probably take it as "she has much more serious sins than that." (?) He then called HK & talked to Ruthie & Keda, which by the way mentioned that Esther had read the Letter & had taken it very good & was doing very good. (?) So that really encouraged Ho a lot as he seems to think that the worst time is over. (?) We certainly hope so. Hope the Lord is giving us the wisdom to handle the situation correctly. (--Amen.--Thanks for trying!)
On the studio front ... the studio now works very good & everyone is super happy with it! TYL! (--And the tapes are beautiful! TTL!)

Also we wanted to mention that the team has come across a caravan which they are selling second-hand... (BARGAIN! Sounds good!--But how you gonna get it to Greece?--Needs a Van!)
This coming week we will be recording some of Paul Michael's new songs (Please give him & all my love & thanks!) which are very beautiful & inspired. (Amen!) He has 18 new songs. Simon Peter wanted them to work on specific songs which only included one of Paul's new songs but after counseling all together we came to the conclusion that it would be best to work on building a little library of songs which Simon could work from. (Right!) It is amazing how the Lord has begun to pour out His blessing & they are getting some new beautiful inspired songs. TYJ! (GB'M! Tell'm I love'm--And their music!--And Simon's tapes!)
Overall things are going quite smoothly & everyone is inspired & happy. (--TTL!) Aside from the problem we have been having with Patience (?) everyone is working really hard & we are winning souls & distributing lit as the Lord keeps blessing us with the finances. (TTL!)
We love & need you so much & thank you so so so much for the beautiful Videos. (TTL!) Hope you have now received the Video of the show that we sent to you! (Hope to soon! Thanks!) Please give our love to all there. We need them & are so thankful for all their work & love. (--Amen!--And thanks so much for trying to help Ho! Enclosed are some Reports with my notes that may help or explain.--Just pray!)
P.S. Also this week we all helped Hosanna with the mailing of the Shows to the Homes. TYJ! (PG! GBY!--And make'm a blessing!) And Joan of Arc had her baby last night too. (GBH!)

1. (FROM DAD: FAITH & JUAN: PTL! GBY!--Thanks!--Poor Ho!--Stray sheep!--Led astray by a crafty sorceress!)

FROM FAITH, 11 November 1980: (PTL! GBY!--Thanks!) Reagan got elected!--If a vote for Carter was a vote for Christ, they just elected the Devil's side?! (--Ha! Amazing!--And yet I like his plans!--Ha!) We also listened to your MWM tapes 1 & 2 again on Fast Day. They really help to keep our eves on the goal, instead of on ourselves! (Amen!--GBY!--PTL!)
Time just flies by, it seems, & every day seems busier than the next! PTL! So many Victories! (--TTL!) And then we are already at Sunday Fellowship Day again, entertaining 65 people including the VSs & Gr. LIM, etc., a Scorpio Birthday Party, COL, etc., etc.! (--WOW!--Wotta Blob!--But that's your talent! You're the only one who could ever keep on top of a blob!--Ha!--GBY!)
Thanks so much for the beautiful Video's! TYJ! Of course with the blessings must come the trials & testings, Ho! Ha! He's also a Prodigal Son but doesn't really know it like the rest. (--Amen.)
Today Ho & Juan went to the train station & were able to get the 2 trunks of things which they provisioned for us--including 12 sleeping bags. We were so short of sleeping bags & blankets. (PTL!) Also they provisioned 20 sweaters all the same colour! Ha! For our Video Show?! (Good!) Tonight we'll pass them out & have Christmas again! We've already had 4 celebrations so far (to Video it)! Ha! (--Send'm!)
I asked Ho to write up his reaction to being here & also his reaction to "Porno Movies". We found out he hadn't read "Porno Movies" so decided that was the best way to start "dealing" with him. After prayer & discussing it with Juan (--Wise!) we gave him the Letter finally. (--Good!) Then Sunday afternoon he called HK & learned that Keda was there & so he talked with her! And found out Esther had just read "Porno Movies" also & had written an apology. When Ho came with this report about talking with Keda, etc., & that Esther was doing good, he seemed convinced all was fine now?! (--She really fools him!)
Ho had been telling us how they haven't had a sexual relationship for over a year, her dislike of sex & her disbelief in our message of sharing, One Wife, one husband & two mates, using you & Mother as the prime example that it doesn't work??! "Someone always gets the raw end of the deal when another mate is added" & so she just doesn't believe in it! And that that is why she refused you when you tried to share with her years ago in the beginning of the R?! (--Ha!)
Esther turned bitterly against her fish with railing accusations against him, her love (?) having turned to hate! (--Never real love!) Resulting in a nervous--mental & spiritual--breakdown & her stay in the Philippines! She hasn't shared with any brothers in years, only with her fish, & very rarely with Ho, up until a year ago when she even stopped completely with Ho. A real picture of selfishness & the system.--It reminded us of what we had heard about Martha... (Names in lites always!) Rachel, too, never shared with "brothers," only fish & became a part of their System (Right!) just as Esther has done in the last two or three years there in HK, living at her fish's apartment in luxury instead of with her Family! And liking it, maids & all, waiting on her hand & foot! (--Her style!--Her dream come true!--A Star!)
All these years Ho has covered for her & let her do her own thing, like a spoiled child, feeling he was partly to blame for causing her to suffer all those years, especially since Libya when she "was forced to start sharing him with Ruthie, etc., etc." (--Ha! By whom?) This is all according to Ho's own confession of what Esther has said to him in the past month since he began dealing with her about her treatment of her fish which he says woke him up to the fact that her attitude was wrong even toward himself. (--My last notes on his letter that Esther wanted to go to Phil. probably helped!) Ho himself seems so far away from the Letters & admitted he hasn't shared with sisters other than Ruthie hardly in years?! Unbelievable! (--I told him to let Esther the Feebleminded rebel go, & stick to Faithful Ruth!)
He seems a little mentally off himself... (Like his Mom!) At the same time as he is telling us how deep rooted her bitterness is against you & all of us, the Family, etc., he says she is improving & doing better now?! (--Ha?!) But it seems that she neither believes in our message, method or our man, you! She neither likes sex nor sharing. We decided to go ahead & mention that you had gotten something from the Lord about her & that she seemed extremely bitter & unbelieving, & had led him astray for years. (--Amen!)--He seemed surprised when we mentioned he'd gotten sidetracked with the children instead of doing his main job, GLP & the Books, & had forsaken it. (--Amen.) A fulfillment of "Sinking Boat" & "Little Dog" dreams seems to have been the story of the last three years in HK! (--Amen!--Sad!)
He has gone from being humble & thankful to be here, "having repented of his sins," etc., to trying to run the show! Ha! (Don't let him!) He seems to see some of what he's missed, but not fully realising his very weak condition--probably a direct result of Esther & her doubts & unbelief & misleadings. Kind've like the spirit of Saul sometimes. (--And Mom!--Always a Miller.) They seem so serious about their "Kings" always talking about them, that it makes us wonder who they are serving out there! (Saul was always sorry, but couldn't buck the Benjamites. So sad!) He has some big debts also?! (? For what?--Gambling?) Perhaps he's been rescued just as the ship is sinking? (?) It seems it's the age old problem of compromise with the system, so that they have become a part of it somewhat. (--Right!) While there's life there's hope! (--Amen, we hope so. But look at Saul/Mom/Merriam, etc.! "But ye would not!"--Jesus, of the Jews!--She's really in bad shape!)

MORE FROM JUAN: The only "problem" we had was due to an unwise move that Hosea did ... to register under the name of John Ho[DELETED] But again TTL for His protection! (GHU!--And Ho! He's absolutely irrational! Poor boy! Mom's own son!)
He always tries to do things his way... He made a special case for our video machine which was a real need. (Always clever with his hands--like the gardener who could, but wouldn't.)... He does still seem very bound to Esther as he still talks very highly of her. (She has a demonic hold on him!--Always did! GHH!--Thanks for your help!--Love,--D.)

REPORT FROM EMMANUEL & HANNAH, 3 Nov. 1980: (PTL! GBY! Thanks!--You sure did your best!--But some just won't listen!--Not even to me!--Just like his Mom & Sis!--Sad!)
We first bumped into Ho by accident last Sunday (26th) at the train station. We stayed together the rest of the day walking by the lake & took him for a hamburger dinner, etc. (TTL! Poor little stray sheep.)
Our hearts really went out to him... & while a lot of what he shared was facts & figures about Hong Kong, he still seemed hungry for counsel & fellowship. We couldn't help but notice how involved he was with the System in HK & Macau--it sounded to us like he virtually had a system job. (When we miss God's will, we really get off the track!)

Monday night he asked Monika to stay with him, which she did. (GBH!) Then Tuesday we rented a car for the afternoon (GBY!) ... but then after a later dinner Ho really wanted to go out to a club ... to the Hilton Hotel which has a casino--which it turned out was what Ho was most interested in trying out. The maximum bet allowable was 5 SFs so he spent half an hour to 45 minutes losing 3 SF. M.& P. said that they had the impression he probably liked to frequent Hong Kong casinos too. (Sounds a bit crazy!)
Thursday night Ho wanted to go to the casino again... (Never knew him to gamble! He didn't get it from me!) ... He said how he could hardly believe the attitude he'd had in the past about how "big" he was... He said how HK & Macau were such small-fry places, so it'd been hard to stay there so long. (Poor guy!)
Friday night Monika took care of Ho again--She was on her period, which Ho knew, but he fucked her anyway. (--Typical Eve-style disobedience!--So like his Mom!)
Saturday D. picked up a couple of trunks he'd provisioned but then Ho came home & decided to take one with him. We said that they'd been provisioned for something else but he was fully determined to take one, so that was a little funny. (Selfish!) We were also surprised a little by other little things along this same line that he did & also he just generally didn't seem to be very considerate of what anybody else was doing... (Same ol' Mom Eve spirit!)
Also, Ho said how he bumped into a guy named Gus Norman, who was/is Fred Jordan's Choir director, in HK one day ... Fred's last faithful worker. (This is the macho guy I wanted to start the Florida Soul Clinic, but Fred said it was my baby!--Ha! How it's grown! Ha!--He better forget'm! The Soul Clinic sponsors refugee kids' schools there--has for 25 years!)
Maybe we could close just by saying that while it seemed like there were a few things that weren't quite right, still Ho seemed thankful for the fellowship & time we had together. (--Thanks for trying to help!) He mentioned how he'd been at a Home Servants' meeting in the Philippines & had been impressed by the way Caleb was just one of the "little" Home Servants. (PTL! GB'M!)
Here we are already at the WIM (--GBY!) & we know we're going to learn so much. (--Please do! Hope you all learn together.--GBY!) Much love, Emmanuel & Hannah.

2. (DAD'S REPLY TO EMMANUEL & HANNAH:--Thanks for ALL your ever-loving care & patience with us! GBY!--And with Ho!--Poor little lost sheep!--No more Mother to guide him! He & Deb were always her pets!--And so much like her!--Both were "Millers" (her maiden family name).--As we always said--even looked like her side of the family!--She resented Paul (Aaron) & was always jealous of Faith's love for me & faithfulness to me. But Mom always led Deb & Ho & told'm what to do--even in defiance of me! So it's a miracle God ever kept us all together long enough to start the Revolution!--"It's Gotta be God!" PTL!--But once well on its way, as with Moses' & Saul's relatives & family, God finally had to flush'm out & get'm outta the way of His will when they wouldn't obey & got in His way.--So sad!--After all their good beginning, they finally got left behind & missed His highest & best!--Maybe like my Mom, Saul, Fred, Aaron, Merriam, etc., that was all they had & as far as they could go--or as far as they'd let God use'm! I've begged Mom Eve to write her experiences on the road as a young family like ours today, but she's too busy with other things.--And I tried to keep Deb's organisational talent & knowledge as a Mother (of 9 now!) in the Family & so needed now, "but she would not!"--Enchanted astray by both JT & the Evil Magician!--And I think Mom broke Aaron's heart, as he knew she was defying me!--God could only take him Home!--And Ho deserted his pub plow & open door to China by "harkening to the voice of his wife" Esther Feebleminded (but strong willed & Devil-misled) instead of to me. But PG, Faith stands steadfast & His Truth marches on!--Thanks to you faithful ones!--Love,--D.)

FROM KEDA, 13 November 1980: (Keda--PTL! GBY!--Thanks!) We wanted to share how things are going with Esther... (Sad tale!) Esther was really thankful for "Porno Movies" & knew they were words of love & really prayed the Lord would help her to see it all & learn the lessons & get rid of the roots of bitterness she has had in her heart for so long. (Wish she could, but she listens only to the Devil's lies!) At the end of our sharing the Lord gave a word of prophecy that she was a daughter of the Kingdom & that David loved her ... it had been 6 years since the Lord had spoken a word directly for her... (Where's she been to be so outta touch?)
She shared about the lessons she had been learning since reading the Letter ... when she got into sharing exactly what her roots of bitterness had been though, she tended to share them as though she still believed them... (She's almost schizophrenic!--She'd had a "nervous breakdown" in Kansas before she came to us first in California & was always weird!)
Her biggest hangups were about the time in London, she felt that everyone (Jeth & all) were trying to alienate her ... she really felt you, Dad, resented her in Libya along with everyone else, so that she was put out of fellowship closely. (This is crazy! We had no such feelings!) Her whole spirit was that she had been really reading all the Letters on marriage at the time & was really going to give it a try but that no one understood her. (Always typical! Self pity!) So--her spirit, when she shared, wasn't that these are things where I had really blown it--she was passing them on to me as complaints & poor-me's & murmurs... (Right!) ...We just can't help but feel that a Letter like that has to bring about a total renewing of mind & acceptance or nothing. (Amen!) It looks from this point & at this stage that her acceptance of the Letter was pretty shallow & if so, isn't bringing about the needed change. (Reminds us so much of Mom Eve & Saul!--Always sorry, but no change!) She is definitely doing better with teaching the kids, but this recent turn towards Peter her fish again after reading the Letter makes us wonder how long things will continue to get better. (--She's totally unstable & always has been!--"Comfort the feebleminded."--That's about all we can do.--She's just plain cracked!--Sorry. Poor Ho.--But she's powerful in spirit with him!--Like demon-possessed!--Off & on.)
Just when we were sharing with her at their apartment, Ho called briefly & said that he thought the Letter would really help Esther. We sure pray it does but she's got to forsake this bitterness over the past which she sees so distortedly! (--Thanks so much for your help.--We can only pray for her. She rejects counsel.) WLYSM! (--Thanks!--ILY!--D.)

Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family