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APPRECIATION!--By Father David       DFO997       23 April 1978

       1. THE LORD GIVES LOTS OF PEOPLE CREDIT! He said of Andrew, "Behold an Israelite indeed in whom is no guile!" (Jn.1:47.) I never thought of that before, but He certainly did praise & give people credit. (Maria: He said, "Well done thou good & faithful servant.") Yes, the Lord commended the good & faithful servants who invested their talents wisely. (Mt.25:21-23.) He even commended the unjust steward for his wisdom. (Lk.16:8.) (Maria: So He wasn't afraid to praise people?) No! He praised people a lot! He said of David, "You're a man after My Own heart!" & of job, "Who is like unto him in all the Earth?" (Ac.13:22; Job 1:8.)

       2. GOD COMMENDS LOTS OF PEOPLE ALL THE WAY THROUGH THE BIBLE. Look at those letters to the churches in Revelation, look at all the praise & credit He gives them! The Lord knows that encouragement is very important. Just like you commend your children when you say, "Good boy!" (Maria: But some parents may say, "Well, Jesus does it all, so if we give them too much credit they're going to think it's of themselves.")

       3. BUT THE LORD IS GOING TO GIVE US CREDIT! He talks about stars in our crowns & rewards, the Lord is certainly going to give us credit! Jesus doesn't do it all, we do part of it, & He helps us do it. (Maria: Well what about our looks? You're always praising & admiring our looks & our admirable personal qualities.) Well, you've taken care of your body, Honey, & you groom yourself well, you're attractive, smell good, you're bright & cute!

       4. YOU'VE DONE YOUR BEST WITH WHAT GOD GAVE YOU! It's kind of like the farmer said to the preacher about his farm, remember? (Maria: "You should have seen it when God had it!") So, there you are! (Maria: Oh, that's really a good lesson, I think our kids really must need that!) It's true with everything. God gives you the basics to begin with & wants to see what you're going to do with it, both your body & talents & all the rest, but you've got to work on it!

       5. (MARIA: SO EVEN A MAN'S MASCULINITY & PHYSICAL PROWESS OR LOVEMAKING is something that we can admire & that we should admire.) Of course! If they work hard at it & try hard to make themselves attractive & admirable, I think people always ought to be commended. The difference is between flattery & over-praising & that sort of thing. The Lord commends a lot of His children, servants & prophets.

       6. (MARIA: I WAS READING THAT BOOK ABOUT ADMIRATION & I thought that's sort of my temptation, to know it's the Lord & if they're already proud we don't want to admire them or give them too much credit because then they'll get the big head! I think that's true in the Family, the kids have felt they're not to be novices being exalted, because pride is of the Devil so you don't want to contribute to people's pride.) (1Tim.3:6.)

       7. HONEY, ALMOST EVERYBODY NEEDS ENCOURAGEMENT! Most people are not really conceited or real stuck on themselves. I think most people feel a certain amount of inferiority complex & tend to get a little discouraged with themselves, so therefore I think encouragement is a very important thing! I do it all the time! I praise everybody for everything they do that I see is good.

       8. CHILDREN THRIVE ON PRAISE! I really know it works with kids, if you commend them for doing well & for being good & say, "Good boy, good girl!", they really thrive on it! (Maria: I know that is true with Davidito!) It's more important to praise a child for his good works & his good behaviour than it is to scold him for his bad behaviour. Always accentuate the positive! (Maria: I agree! But it just sort of struck me hard when I was reading that book about admiration & really encouraging people for their good qualities, I thought, "My goodness, I bet that's one of the major things that we need to learn in our marriages in the Family!")

       9. ONE OF THE WORST THINGS YOU CAN DO IS PICK ON EVERY LITTLE FAULT, always belittling, nagging, finding fault, beating somebody down, henpecking! It's one of the worst things in the World you could possibly do & that will really break up marriages! I told you the story about that judge, & the wife who wanted to get a divorce. He said, "Well, why did you marry him in the first place, what was it you liked about him to begin with?"

       10. "WELL", SHE SAID, "HE WAS A GOOD MAN, HARD WORKER, FAITHFUL PROVIDER & he was kind to children & loyal"--she mentioned all these favourable qualities! "Well, why don't you still love him now, why do you want to get divorced?" "Oh, he's terrible! He throws his clothes on the floor, he never hangs anything up or puts anything away, he's always late for dinner, he's hard to get up in the morning, he fusses if I burn the toast!"--All these little tiny insignificant things!

       11. SHE ADMIRED HIM FOR HIS GOOD MAJOR QUALITIES WHICH WERE THE MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, & yet it's these little nagging ridiculous insignificant things that kept bothering her! So the judge told her, "I'll tell you, go home for 30 days & I want you just to think about those good qualities for which you first loved him & why you married him, & try not to even think about the little idiosyncracies he has, that he picks his nose in public & he doesn't hang up his clothes, & he dresses kind of sloppy!

       12. "THINK ABOUT WHAT A FAITHFUL HUSBAND HE IS, how good he is to the children, how he works so hard, he's a good provider, he's loyal & he loves you! Think about just those good things for month & try not to think about the other little things that are really so unimportant, & if after 30 days you still want the divorce, you come back!"--But she never showed up again! (Phil.4:8.)

       13. I EVEN PICKED ON MAMA EVE A LOT BECAUSE OF HER LITTLE IDIOSYNCRACIES, her sloppiness, her slovenliness, her dirtiness & everything else!--Whereas she was a really wonderful mother & good with her children, a good trainer! She really worked hard on her children, which is her major & her best product! She was a lousy housekeeper & there were only about three or four dishes that she really could cook good! We ate spaghetti one night, creamed tuna on toast the next night, stew the next night, sometimes hamburgers, & then we started the procedure all over again.

       14. SHE WAS A FAIR COOK & I NEVER REALLY COMPLAINED ABOUT HER COOKING, except that time when they used too much tomato sauce, & I think that was Martha's fault! (Maria: That book was bringing out that even the terrible things you see about people, like if they're rebellious, loud, impatient & hard to get along with, just look for the cause behind it. It may not even be their fault--it may be your fault or somebody at work's fault. If they're loud it may be because they're trying to be heard over the kids. If they're impatient maybe it's because they're trying to go on to something more important.)

       15. LOOK HOW SARA COULD EVEN LOVE THAT EGYPTIAN with all his pugnacity, his talkativeness, his inconsideration, his selfishness & everything else! Nevertheless he had certain good qualities that kept cropping out, & when the crunch came he really came to the rescue, he always kept his word. And when he was finally shown how he was neglecting her, then he really tried to make up for it & try to do nice things for her.

       16. HE WAS ALMOST INSANELY JEALOUS but in some ways to the Systemite that's a loyal trait, that's supposed to be a good thing to be jealous of your mate.--Protective. He provided & he was protective & thoughtful about a lot of things, he bought her stuff & took her nice places & wanted her to meet his family & friends, & I think that's very very commendable! So he had a lot of faults & bad traits, but he had a lot of good ones.

       17. THE DANGER IS WHEN YOU GET YOUR MIND DWELLING ON THE BAD TRAITS. The Lord says, "Choose the good & eschew the evil." (1Pe.3:11.) He says, "Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, & if there be any praise, think on these things!" (Phil.4:8.)--That applies to your mate as well. Try to remind yourself constantly of his or her good qualities, the good things, & try not to think about the bad things.

       18. I LOVE YOU, HONEY! I JUST HAVEN'T FOUND ANY BAD THINGS IN YOU YET, so it's very easy for me to love you & admire you & respect you because I don't think you have any bad traits, I can't think of any! (Maria: Honey, you're crazy!) Yes, I'm crazy about you! xxxxxxx! (Maria: I know I haven't found any bad ones about you!) Honey, you know what horrible bad traits I have! You know I'm lazy & I like too much sex! Well, I must say about the girls, I really really really believe that it's more my desire to make them happy than it is for me, especially now at my age because I sometimes don't get that much out of it. Really!

       19. I REALLY ENJOY MAKING THEM HAPPY! I really enjoy teaching & training them & showing them what to do & how to make a man happy, especially older men & so on. I walked in there looking for something & I saw our poor little cook sleeping there all by herself & I felt so sorry for her, I really did, it was compassion! It was not passion, really, because I just don't need that much sex. I like it & I need a lot of it, but I'm too old to get too much out of it, or put too much in it sometimes!

       20. I FELT SO SORRY FOR HER I JUST BENT OVER & KISSED HER & she right away woke up & looked at me & smiled, she was so happy! She kissed me & hugged me & I could tell she wanted some love. So I climbed in bed with her & loved her up good! And she loved me too, sucked me & practiced her new talent! I know I liked it, & she did too!

       21. ALL THE WAY THROUGH THE BIBLE THE LORD COMMENDED PEOPLE FOR THEIR GOOD WORKS, & He promises to reward us for our good work. It has nothing to do with our salvation, we get salvation as a free gift by His mercy & grace & love, but it's our service & good works for Him that He especially commends! I thank God that He really appreciates our service & our sacrifice & the things we do for Him beyond the call of duty. So the Lord appreciates us & commends us!

       22. ALL THROUGH THE BIBLE HE SAID CERTAIN KINGS WERE GOOD & CERTAIN KINGS WERE BAD, & He was good to certain kings because they did good things. You do a lot of good things, all my good things! Mmmmmmm! Feels so good! Honey, you're gorgeous! You've got the most beautiful shape of any girl I ever saw! (David falls asleep.)

Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family