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THE 7 F's OF FFing!       DO 1083       1/1/82
--Dad's New Year's Day Keynote Address for the Year!

       [EDITED: "HomeARC note (9/98): FFing was discontinued in 1987."]

       1. (DAD SINGS:)
       Let's please have another,
       So we can get through!"

       (Maria: How appropriate!) Spur of the moment! PTL! Maybe I'm a little too Pentecostal for some of you more conservative people, but I like to clap my hands!--And I think the children like to clap their hands too! It's good to play upon your instrument of ten strings! (Claps!) The Bible says a lot about clapping your hands--a lot! It says we're to "clap your hands O ye people, clap your hands & rejoice!" Even the trees clap their hands for the Lord! So it's a good ol' loosening up humbling exercise!

       2. I CAN REMEMBER WHEN IT WAS HARD FOR ME TO CLAP MY HANDS! As I grew older in church & all it was a little embarrassing, I thought, to sit there clapping my hands. But "except ye be as a little child ye shall no wise enter into the Kingdom of Heaven." (Mat.18:3.) Little children just automatically clap their hands when they're happy, did you ever notice? So, PTL! (Sings "We praise Thee, O, God!")

       3. YOU NEVER WOULD HAVE REALISED THAT A LOT OF THOSE CHURCH HYMNS ARE ACTUALLY DANCE RHYTHMS because they've slowed them down & sing them so slow & draggy until it sounds like a funeral dirge! But instead it's actually a waltz! Quick quick slow--quick quick slow--quick quick slow--as they teach you at Arthur Murray's! I'm an Arthur Murray student!--Well, I was a couple times anyway!--Ha! Lonesome on my trips I decided to go & see what was going on, & I found there were lots of pretty little girls there who were willing to dance nice & close!

       4. I REMEMBER ONE LITTLE DANCING TEACHER AT ARTHUR MURRAY'S IN SAN FRANCISCO, we were dancing alone in this little room & she was hugging me tight! She said, "Hold me tight! You know, the best lead is an abdominal lead!" I thought to myself, "It sure is! Best one I've had yet!" Ha! I've often thought since then they probably did a little overtime after-hours, but I was too shy & bashful to ask in those days. They even had a party & served some wine for the new students & we were all feeling good. If I'd only known what I know now I wouldn't have been so lonesome! Well, I learned pretty fast. Out on the road by yourself for months on end you learn what to do when you're lonely. TYL! Like all the other lonesome men that we minister to in the clubs, that's where I went.

       5. WELL, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL! GBY! I WAS GOING TO READ YOU ALL THE GOOD STATS. You'll be very encouraged to hear the good news, all the good stats! Of course, they're a little bit old, but that's as fast as we can get'm. We don't have'm for the whole year yet but I can tell you what's happened through October. I think I already told you the Family is the largest number we've had ever yet, 9544! Our number of Homes has gone down a little because some people now moving & going to the field are joining co-ops. They're moving in two or three families in a Home, which is then only counted as one Home, of course.

       6. SO THE NUMBER OF HOMES HAS GONE DOWN ALTHOUGH THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE HAS GONE UP! Of course, our number of people always goes up just gradually anyhow because we have about 50 to 70 births every month! Isn't that something? You know, I'd like to compare with some civilised country like the U.S. or a country of Europe on their stats of birth rate, death rate, mortality rate, etc., to see how ours compare! They'd probably have that in the almanac!

       7. HOPE YOU DON'T MIND IF I DO A LITTLE BUSINESS HERE WHILE YOU EAT YOUR NEW YEAR'S DAY LUNCH! Our Family's getting bigger all the time[DELETED]! 9544 people! We are 5238 adults, & 4192 children--almost 4200 children! And we're much more evenly divided now than we used to be. In the early days of the Family there were three men to every woman. And we were very thankful when it got to be only two men to every woman. I told them I thought we were going to have to exercise polyandry in order to get everybody mated off & every woman have two or three husbands! In Lakish, that part of Tibet or somewhere where there's a woman-shortage, they practice it, they have two or three husbands.

       8. OF COURSE THEY PRACTICE POLYANDRY IN CIVILISED N. AMERICA & EUROPE & ALMOST EVERYWHERE IN THE WORLD, just like they practice polygamy. They call it sequential polygamy, one after the other, not all at once! Isn't it something? Now, the Bible was in favour of polygamy, but strictly against sequential polygamy. And yet man has twisted the whole thing around & made sequential polygamy legal & Biblical polygamy illegal. Think of that!--Man's rules diametrically controverting the laws of God!

       9. (MARIA: BECAUSE THEY TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT! It's a lot easier one after the other than all at the same time.) I don't know about that! In our Family I think it's nicer that we have everybody all at the same time! That's the selfish way to live, easier, one at a time. Honey, you are one of the best examples there is, now you shouldn't say that! (Maria: I'm just saying it's difficult--I'm not saying it's not good.) ILY, Honey! You've really gotten the victory! It used to really bother her but she's really gotten the victory now, TTL!

       10. SO WE ARE NOW MUCH MORE EVENLY DIVIDED THAN WE USED TO BE, we are 4561 females--that's over 4500 females--& only 4869 males. That includes the children. Would you like to know how many mates we have of our 5238 adults? We have 3566 mated & 1672 single. We still have a lot of singles. Our single families have been declining, whereas our co-ops are increasing. They say one of the greatest blessings of the new Fellowship is that they've gotten to meet each other & decided to live together in co-op Homes!

       11. I'M NOT JUST TALKING ABOUT TRIOS & THREESOMES, although I think it also helped increase that as well, definitely! There are many testimonies of singles who have met families at the Fellowships & decided to join them, been invited to join them, & been very successful & everybody's happy! (Maria: Except one girl figures it's a problem that she's in love with a married man!) She's still got a few System ideas, apparently, & she seems to think that's a problem to be in love with a married man. In our Family, that's no problem, it's quite common!--I'm in love with a married woman--you! Ha!--Several!

       12. SO THE FELLOWSHIPS HAVE INCREASED THE NUMBER OF CO-OP HOMES, of two or more couples & their children, & it's also increased the number of multiple families, triples, etc. They're beginning to meet each other, at last, & see each other, feel each other, getting to know each other, & deciding that they'd like to live together, PTL!--Which is very good because we've gone too far to the other extreme!

       13. WE'RE LIKE A PENDULUM, & IN A SENSE, EVERY REVOLUTION IS THIS WAY. As I used to say, I'm an extremist, a radical, fanatic, & in order to pull some people halfway, you've got to go all the way in the opposite direction! Then you pull some of the people too far & you've got to go the opposite extreme, the other way, to try to get some of the extremists back on center again! Till finally, like a pendulum, you sort of get to where you're more in the middle & more on center rather than the opposite extremes.

       14. [DELETED] DO YOU KNOW WHAT A PENDULUM IS? This is a pendulum, swinging back & forth like that, see? I grabbed the closest thing I could find, I grabbed my knife by its tip & I swung it back & forth & that's a pendulum. It makes clocks run. Foucault's pendulum hanging in the dome of some of the planetariums illustrates that the Earth is turning, because a pendulum continues to swing the same direction all the time regardless of the motion of where it's attached.

       15. IN THE GRIFFITH PLANETARIUM IN HOLLYWOOD they've got a room bigger than this with a big dial on the floor bigger than this room, & all around the dial it's got the points of the compass, the degrees of the compass, etc. Then they have this big pendulum swinging over this big circle like this, & they tell you when you walk in the entrance to look & see where the pendulum is, what point it is swinging across the circle, & by the time you go out of the planetarium, within an hour or two, you'll find that it looks like the pendulum has moved a little bit over on the points of the compass that are below it.

       16. BUT THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS [DELETED] THE PENDULUM HAS CONTINUED TO SWING IN EXACTLY THE SAME DIRECTION, never changes, but the building has moved underneath the pendulum! Because the Earth has moved underneath the pendulum. It has turned as it rotates. Every day it rotates 24 hours a day, about a thousand miles an hour at the Equator, & it keeps rotating like that 24,000 miles around the World every day it turns. And at 24,000 miles, since there's 24 hours in the day, that means it goes 1000 mph!

       17. WE'RE TRAVELLING NOW RIGHT THROUGH SPACE! Right at this moment while we're sitting here at this table in this house, this house is travelling through space at the rate of probably about 700 miles an hour! And you don't even notice it moving! Didn't Jesus make the World wonderful[DELETED]? You're travelling through space right now in this house on the surface of the globe as the World turns. If I had a globe here I could show it to you. But anyway, that's the facts[DELETED]! That's the truth!

       18. SO, HOW IN THE WORLD DID WE GET ONTO THAT, ANYWAY? We get on some awful funny things! (Dora: About the Revolution!) Oh, that's where I got on that! I often try to trace back my train of thought & think, "How did I get there, anyway?" I got off some side-path picking daisies & it's hard for me to find my way back to the main road again!

       19. SO ANYHOW, OUR HOMES WERE TOO BIG TO BEGIN WITH, in fact, they were not Homes at all! They were huge gigantic blobs, Colonies we called them, varying from 100-300 people! We had about 350 people at TSC before we finally exploded that Blob. They were having wonderful fellowship, tremendous fellowship meetings, all kinds of entertainment & fun & food & fellowship, but they weren't getting much done except taking care of themselves. It took all their time just to take care of themselves.

       20. AND THE BIGGER THE BLOB YOU HAVE, THE BIGGER THE JOB YOU HAVE! Jethro told me once at the Bromley Factory in London, "But Dad, I've got 250 people here now! I need more people to take care of'm! I need more cooks, I need more this, I need more that!" He was fighting against my destroying his Blob. He said, "I can't let anybody go, I need more people!" I said, "Listen Jeth, if you didn't have so many people, you wouldn't need so many!"

       21. SO WE WERE AT THE EXTREME FAR RIGHT OF THE SWING OF THE PENDULUM & WE HAD TOO MANY PEOPLE IN OUR COLONIES. So I had to really knock it out of them & in 1975 we started on the New Revolution--not the RNR but the New Revolution it was called--& we started penalising Colonies which had more than 25 people. Finally, we started also rewarding them if they whittled them down to 12 or under, & then we even rewarded them more if they'd whittle them down to about six.

       22. WE SAID THE IDEAL COLONY WAS ABOUT SIX TO TWELVE, INCLUDING CHILDREN. We considered 6-12 people, normal family size, fitted into almost any home & was better security, wouldn't be noticed as much, wouldn't make as much noise & have as many people or as many vehicles & everything else & attract attention in the neighbourhood. When you attract attention, you start attracting curiosity & eventually you start attracting complaints if you have too many people in a normal-sized family home. So we insisted they break'm up, & not only for that reason, but also to shake'm up & get'm out into many more places, many more areas, to preach the Gospel in all the World!


       25. [DELETED] LIKE DR. R.A. FOREST TOLD HIS COLLEGE STUDENTS ONE DAY. He was a great big--nice word for it--portly--man of probably about 300 pounds! And he was trying to explain to the college class [DELETED] what a phenomenon was. He said, "Now, if you'd seen a cute little bird sitting on a little twig of a tree singing, that wouldn't be a phenomenon. But if you saw me sitting on a little twig of a tree, singing"--he couldn't sing at all--"that would be a phenomenon!" So if you want to know what a phenomenon is, that's something that just isn't likely to happen, very unusual. It would simply be a miracle if you'd seen Dr. R.A. Forest sitting on a little tiny twig of a tree singing! All right, one more story out of the way!

       26. ([EDITED: "FAM:"] WHO'S DR. R.A. FOREST?) He was one of the heads of the denomination of the Christian & Missionary Alliance that I used to be in, & he was the founder of Tekoa Falls Bible Institute which later became, of course, Tekoa Falls Bible College, which is now one of the three major schools--or was, last I heard--of the Christian & Missionary Alliance. They went in for higher education--& higher & higher & higher until they got educated almost plumb out of the people's intelligence & comprehension!--Where they were so smart they were almost too smart for the common people!

       27. SO I STOMPED OUT OF ONE BIBLE COLLEGE & SAID, "ALL I NEED TO KNOW IS JOHN 3:16 to go into all the World & preach the Gospel to every creature! I don't need to sit here & listen to all this baloney for four years!" Well, I learned a few little useful things like Greek & Hebrew & stuff like that to help me study the Bible. It's helpful a little bit for the fine points & definitions & stuff. And I had some real sweet teachers, wonderful men of God who really told me a lot of interesting things, but I found that most of what they told me & most of what I learned in Bible College was not Bible, it was theological theory & their doctrines & I still had to do most of my Bible study on my own!

       28. SO I FIGURED, "WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO PAY ALL THIS MONEY TO GO TO BIBLE COLLEGE & my poor wife & children sacrifice, nearly starve, while I try to go to Bible College when I still have to study the Bible on my own anyway? I might as well stay home & study the Bible!"--So I did! Ha! I got up & walked out! I said, "I don't need all this stuff! All I need is John 3:16 to go into all the World & preach the Gospel to every creature!"

       29. ANYHOW, WE HAVE SWUNG FROM THE BIG BLOB EXTREME--which actually began with the 50 to 75 people we had in the Family at the Huntington Beach Light Club--to the 125 to 150 we had on the road in the Great Trek with all our trucks, cars & caravans. And it was a great trick, I'll tell you, too, to manage a thing like that! Our caravan got so long we had to have two-way radio to make sure everybody was around, & we frequently got lost from each other! If it hadn't been for the radio we would have really lost some of those guys because we didn't know where they were & they didn't know where we were! We had no home base, we had no home phone, no way to exchange info, & if we lost anybody, they were lost!

       30. BUT YOU KNOW WHO HELPED US A LOT OF TIMES WHEN WE GOT LOST FROM EACH OTHER because we were using CB radio?--The dear old CBers! The home CBers often helped us because they had more powerful sets, better antennas. We'd get out of range & we'd say, "Mom, where are you?"--Mom was always wandering off someplace with her boyfriends, stopping to shop or something & get left behind. Or they'd go ahead when everybody else was stuck in a filling station, always wandering off somewhere, our little stray sheep. [DELETED] I'm talking about Mama Eve.

       31. SO SHE WAS ALWAYS RUNNING OFF SOMEWHERE--always good things, she was doing shopping for the Family or going provisioning or something like that--but she was always straying away from the caravan. So I'd be calling, "Mom! Mom! Steve! Steve! Where are you?" No answer. She'd gotten out of range or out of the car or something. So every now & then I'd have some big CBer with a big powerful set & antenna come booming in: "Hi there, fella! What's your problem? Can I help you? Let me try to get Mom for you, OK?

       32. "HEY MOM! THERE'S A GUY OVER IN NEW JERSEY TRYING TO FIND YOU! He says you're over in New York & you got lost & he wants to know where you are! Where are you, anyhow?" And there's a long pause. He'd call back to me, "Hey fella, I found Mom! She's over in Manhattan shopping! She forgot to tell you that she was going, & she'll be back at five o'clock." ([EDITED: "FAM:"] What time was it?) Probably 11 o'clock in the morning! We're getting ready to move & everything & she's delaying the whole bunch because she's not there & we don't know where she is!

       33. NOW, HOW DID I GET THAT OUT OF STATS, ANYWAY? We grew to about 125 to 150 in about 35-40 vehicles on the Great Trek from Huntington Beach to the East Coast, to Canada, to Florida & back to Texas where we landed at TSC & grew, finally before they left, to about 350! It was about 250 when Maria & I went to Europe, & we were the pioneers. We went to Europe first before anybody, believe it or not; nobody had left the States yet at all. We arrived at TSC in February of 1970 & she & I flew to Europe the same year in September.

       34. WE WERE GOING TO PIONEER A KIBBUTZ IN ISRAEL TO BUILD A BIGGER BLOB, bigger & better blobs! We were planning to build the biggest blob we'd ever built! We heard that they granted people land to develop & we were going to go there & get a land grant & develop a huge kibbutz for thousands. Isn't that crazy? Absolutely crazy! We were real blobbers then, colonists, & that's the main thing we wanted to do was create bigger & better blobs!

       35. AND IT WAS OVER THERE IN ISRAEL THEN THAT I FOUND OUT THAT BLOBS WERE NOT WHERE IT WAS AT!--And from then on I began hammering away at the blobs! By the time we got to Tenerife in '74-75, I was really hammering away, if you'll read the Letters, breaking'm up! And finally by '75 we organised the New Revolution & made it mandatory to cut down size. If you didn't cut your blob down to at least 25 you wouldn't even get any Letters, you'd get excommunicated! And we offered various incentives if you'd cut it down to even 12 or less.

       36. ARE YOU WATCHING AN AIRPLANE OUT THERE OR WHAT? (John: He saw a fly go by.) Did you ever see the people at a tennis match? If they show you a picture of the people in the grandstand while the tennis match is going on, their faces go like this--they're watching the ball--so they keep turning their head back & forth, back & forth, back & forth. In our Family here when a fly flies by, everybody's head goes like this, it sort of goes around in a circle like this! OK, that was a flyby, now you can concentrate back on the stats!

       37. I THOUGHT YOU'D BE INTERESTED IN THESE STATS SINCE IT'S NEW YEAR'S DAY, kind of taking a look at the past & the progress we've made this past year, PTL! At the beginning of the year we were only about 8000, now we're 9-1/2 thousand! We've increased over 1500 in this one year, that's over 100 a month. When I was in church work, a church of 100 members in actual attendance was a pretty big church! Well, at that rate we're gaining a big church every month in our Family, think of that! TYL!

       38. AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS PAST YEAR, 1981, OUR HOMES WENT UP TO ALMOST 2500, but due to the recent moves & conglomerations, amalgamations or cooperatives, the Homes have gone down in number but up in population. So, PTL! They're either winning disciples or they're knewing disciples via the birth canal. We gain at least 50, 60, 70 new disciples a month just via the birth canal! God bless all you dear mothers & you hard-working men! You're hard-working women, too, working all those hards! PTL! Hallelujah! So although we were up to nearly 2500 Homes, we're now down to around 2200, according to these last stats, 2182.

       39. AND OUR AVERAGE SIZE TRF HOME, SAD TO SAY, HAS DWINDLED DOWN TO ONLY 4.4, that's 4-1/2 people per Home average, overall. In other words, to what would be pretty well considered a single family home, a couple with 2-1/2 children, average. Of course, they average from virtually just actually singles to those who have nine children or several wives & a dozen children or more! But the average number of our Homes today has dwindled down to only 4.4, & that, I think, is getting dangerously low & needs correction!--And is getting corrected by the Lord & the Family through the Fellowships & new co-ops every month, so that our single Homes are declining & our co-op Homes, thank God, are increasing! PTL!

       40. BECAUSE I THINK THAT THE AVERAGE HOME SHOULD BE AT LEAST A COUPLE COUPLES, at least two couples, & maybe a couple singles. Actually, the ideal Home was to be six adults with maybe six children, a dozen people. That's about all, we found, you can get in the average family-sized house without attracting too much attention. That's about as far as you can go without letting the whole World know there's a whole colony there!

       41. WE EVEN DID THIS FIGURING IN THE TIME OF THE NEW REVOLUTION, 1975, that the largest Home should consist of not more than about a half-a-dozen adults, probably two couples & two single adults to help care for the children, litness, etc. And since there were two couples, maybe they had two or three children apiece, probably half-a-dozen children. So that the average Home was supposed to be about a dozen people, about six of one, half-a-dozen of the other!--Six adults & half-a-dozen children.

       42. WE THOUGHT THAT MADE A NICE GOOD-SIZED FAMILY HOME, WHAT I CALL A SMALL CO-OP, two couples with two singles to help, etc. And now, of course, PTL, they don't even have to be singles, they can even be mated due to our sexual freedom & sexual liberalisation, due to the revelations we had while still in Tenerife regarding "all things"! PTL? Aren't you glad? (Family: Yes!) So our co-ops are growing, & thank God, our single families are declining.

       43. THROUGH GOING SORT OF [EDITED: "LOW-KEY"] [DELETED] in the NRS back in '77 after the big persecution following Jonestown, persecution of the cults--we really broke up in even the smallest units possible & went [DELETED] as selah as possible so as to avoid some of the persecution which our enemies who always hated us & always persecuted us simply used Jonestown as an excuse to further persecute & get governments to work against us!

       44. ACCORDING TO THE LATEST INFORMATION FROM FRANCE, under the new Socialistic government they're pledged to try to attack the cults & bring them before the law & make sure that they are legal, registered, behaving, not brainwashing anybody, blah blah blah! And you know what that means! Right? They said with the present laws they could at least stop them from forming associations, any that they didn't approve of, which could have favoured buying without taxes & all this sort of thing.

       45. WELL, SO WHAT? WE DON'T HAVE TO FORM ASSOCIATIONS! In fact, we disbanded in France legally, officially, & we're no longer an association in most of those places. Of course, you don't get tax exemptions that way, you don't get special buying privileges like wholesale without taxes, etc., like the recognised denominations which always have control & always love to crush the cults & isms & little religious groups, but who needs it? Any favours you get from the System, I can tell you right now, you pay for through the nose! You jump through their hoop & you do what they say & you don't do anything they don't like! So we just disbanded, officially.

       46. UNDER THE NRS WE ARE NO LONGER ANY KIND OF AN ORGANISATION OR ANY KIND OF A GROUP. We are no longer the COG, we're no longer the FOL, we're no nothin' anymore! We're just independent little families in homes, a fellowship by mail!--Male & female too! But we fellowship by means of the Magazine & we're no longer an association, no longer an organisation, no longer a denomination, but just a sort of a family fellowship--that is, officially as far as the government & the System is concerned.

       47. OF COURSE, NOW WE'RE DEFINITELY ENCOURAGING FELLOWSHIP & BETTER ORGANISATION THAN WE HAD BEFORE, because we got dwindled down to too small Homes as you can see, only 4.4, & too little fellowship, too much isolation, too little cooperation, so that now we really need more fellowship, we need more cooperation, more co-ops. We need larger homes & we need better organisation in order to work out the things that we need to work out. PTL?

       48. REMEMBER, THESE STATS ONLY COVER THE PERIOD OF TEN YEARS BETWEEN '72 & '82. But they do not include, of course, the last two months of '81 because we don't have those in yet. It's impossible for them to get the stats to me in less than a month, & therefore it means to the Family we can't possibly give them to them in less than two months in the Magazine, but we're going to try to lick this bottleneck of the slow Magazines as quickly as possible!

       49. WAS THAT A PHONE CALL? WHAT'S THE GOOD NEWS? We can broadcast it on radio! First good news of the New Year! (Peter: The Mag just got ready to be mailed!) Number 45 is done & ready to go in the mail, PTL! (Peter: And they're starting to work on 46.) So you folks listening or reading this report are probably reading it in Mag 46! (Maria: Or maybe 47!) And as Mama says, maybe 47. (Maria: 46 is almost ready to go.) Oh really? Wonderful! Well, we're knockin'm out now! PTL! (Peter: And the first folks of the Spanish TCC are going tonight.) (Maria: The Spanish translators are moving out.)

       50. IT SHOWS YOU HOW FAR BEHIND POOR PETER IS! HE STILL CALLS THEM TCCs! We abandoned TCCs a year or two ago when we formed the LIMs, God bless him! We're a Revolution, we keep changing! You've got to keep up with the latest alphabet soup or you're gonna be left behind in the soup for sure, in yesterday's soup, or last year's soup! There hasn't been a TCC for about two years! (Peter: The office part was the LIM for a long time & they moved, so they referred to the translators as the TCC.)

       51. WELL, NOW MAYBE IN THAT CASE WE MIGHT FORGIVE YOU, PETER, & we might condescend to say that since they have divorced each other temporarily & the LIM has moved South & the TCC Translating Center was left behind, OK, we'll let you still call that the TCC! (Peter: I won't have to now, they should be united!) So what was the news about the Spanish-Portuguese Translating Center? Did they rejoin their LIM? (Peter: The first are leaving tonight.) Leaving tonight for the South to rejoin the Latin American LIM, PTL! So TYJ! That's good news! I'll drink to that one! We were just reading about co-ops here, so that's really cooperation!

       52. WE DIDN'T START KEEPING STATS FAITHFULLY ON ALL THESE THINGS UNTIL 1972, SAD TO SAY--well, 1971 we kept a few--so that actually these stats only cover a period of about ten years. This is our ten year milestone so that it will be interesting to see just how much we have progressed, not only in 1981 which we're just finishing & not quite through with yet in stats, but also in the past ten years.

       53. WE HAVE DISTRIBUTED NEARLY 420 MILLION PIECES OF LITERATURE, THINK OF THAT! Pieces, now, not just pages even. We're now starting to count the pages because we think we ought to get credit for every page since some pieces are quite a few pages. For example, a MO Book is only counted as one piece, but it can be seven or eight hundred or a thousand pages! So we were losing credit on the actual page count by only counting pieces. But now we're counting both, pieces & pages, PTL!

       54. AND SO FOR THE TEN-YEAR PERIOD WE HAVE DISTRIBUTED NEARLY A HALF-A-BILLION PIECES OF LITERATURE, 420 MILLION! Isn't that something? I doubt if there's a denomination or even a big church, I wonder if even the Catholics distributed that many pieces of literature in the past ten years! As little lit as I have seen most churches distribute--usually some little monthly publication of a few pages & that's about all--I doubt if they could even begin to equal our literature distribution. Amen?

       55. AND OF COURSE SINCE THE WORLD'S POPULATION IS ONLY A LITTLE OVER THREE BILLION, the fact that we've witnessed to almost 29 billion people shows we must have been witnessing to the same people over & over again quite a few times! That's almost 30 billion, so we must have told some people at least ten times! And since some people we've only told once or twice, we must have told some people nearly 20 times, probably in North America & Europe. Why should we be telling them 20 or 30 times when there are people in the South who never yet even heard once? Amen?

       56. BUT PTL, WE'VE GOTTEN RESULTS IN THESE TEN YEARS!--NEARLY 4-1/2 MILLION SALVATIONS, PTL? Isn't that wonderful? And 2-1/4 million Holy Spirit Baptisms. Some people call that dry baptism, I don't think it's very dry myself, do you? I think it's pretty wet--juicy, wild & wet & woolly! PG! But anyhow, I believe that by the end of this year it will be up to a total of an actual 4-1/2 million converts. That's pretty good, huh?

       57. THAT IS ABOUT ONE SALVATION FOR EVERY 100 PIECES OF LITERATURE DISTRIBUTED, & that's a very good high ratio!--That for every hundred seeds sown we get at least one good full-grown plant. That's not bad at all! If you had a Gospel radio entertainment program, you used to figure you had to be on the air covering millions of people at least a year before you had enough people on the mailing list, steady supporters, to support the program. And you usually figured you had to have at least four or five thousand people on your mailing list in order to support the program.--Out of a coverage of actual people somewhere around in the millions, even hundreds of millions that those radio stations covered.

       58. A SUPPORTER YOU COULD SORT OF COUNT AS A CONVERT & if in those areas that you were ministering to--let's say you were covering half the U.S., a hundred million people--you got maybe 5000 people in your radio chain who decided to respond & give & support the program, you might even call them a convert, that's five out of a hundred thousand or about one out of every 20,000. Well, if you've got 5000 out of only one million, that's five out of a thousand. So that's one out of 200 & if you only have maybe one station that covered a million people, that would be pretty good. Usually you had to have half the population. Well anyhow, that's a very high average that for every 100 pieces of literature distributed we've reaped at least one good soul, TTL!

       59. AND I'LL TELL YOU, I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY HUNDRED MILLIONS OF SEEDS WE'VE SOWN REGARDING SEMEN--the natural seed which they claim you could hold 200 million on the head of a pin, little seeds in the semen! Think how many times our boys fuck our girls depositing a lot more than just the head of a pin's worth of semen! I figure in the 25 years that I was married to my first wife that out of 365 days a year I fucked her at least once or twice a day! Nowadays I only average about one every three days, but in the days when I was much more active sexually than I am now it was once or twice a day!

       60. IN FACT, I ONCE FIGURED IT UP THAT I FUCKED HER PROBABLY AT LEAST A THOUSAND TIMES A YEAR IN THOSE DAYS! Well, some years. That would only be about three times a day--once in the morning, once in the evening & once in the afternoon! That's not too much for a good vigorous energetic sexy young man like I was!--Once when you go to bed, once when you wake up, & once at siesta! That's almost normal for a normal male, right? So three times a day, 365 days a year, give or take a few days, a thousand times a year!

       61. AND CONSIDERING THAT WE WERE MARRIED ABOUT 25 YEARS, 25,000 TIMES--of course I started fucking a few other girls before that period was over, but anyway, give or take a few maybe 20,000 times--I only got four children out of 20,000 fucks! How much is that? One out of 5000. And with 200,000 seeds on the head of a pin, God knows how many millions I deposited with every fuck! Let's say it must have been at least five million per fuck, if you figure about 25 drops per fuck, that's 5 billion a year, at least 125 billion seeds I deposited in those 25 years & I only got four children out of them!

       62. THAT'S ONLY ONE CHILD OUT OF ABOUT 30 BILLION SEEDS, & WE'RE GETTING ONE SOUL OUT OF EVERY 100 SEEDS! Think of that! Out of every hundred pieces of literature we distribute, we average one new child in the Kingdom of God! And not just one out of 30 billion seeds, not even just four out of 25,000 fucks! Not even just one out of every five or six thousand fucks. That's a pretty good ratio! Instead of only one new convert, one new child out of 30 billion seeds, we're getting about one out of every hundred! That's how much more powerful the Word is than semen! Ha!

       63. ARE YOU GOING CRAZY WITH THESE STATS? Well, maybe you figure I'm crazy! But frankly, that's really what it amounts to. So in other words, I think we're doing better spiritually, on the average, in our spiritual seed-sowing, than you & I have done with our physical seed-sowing. Well, we should, the spiritual ought to out-do the physical, praise God? In fact, you aren't really intended to get a child out of every fuck & every million seeds you sow, a lot of it is just for fellowship & love & absorption & to love one another & make you one, amen? PTL? OK!

       64. HOWEVER, OUR BOYS & GIRLS HAVE BEEN BUSY & WE HAVE GOTTEN OVER 4000 BIRTHS, 4056 births in ten years! Not bad, huh? That's averaging over 400 a year! And that over the whole ten-year period is averaging about 40 a month. That's averaging almost one baby every day in the ten year history of the Family, how about that? Isn't that wonderful? Why doesn't somebody say amen? (Family: Amen!) PTL! HALLELUJAH! That's what we ought to be saying! [DELETED]

       65. 4000 BIRTHS IN TEN YEARS, THAT'S MORE THAN ONE A DAY! It would only be 3650 if it was just one a day, that's more than one a day! God bless you, Boys! God bless you, Girls! God bless all you babies, too! TYL! Mmmm, makes me feel like doing it right now! The Lord's blessing us, making us fruitful! And as I've said before, those are the best disciples of all, the ones that inherit your own traits & spirituality & spirit, & in a sense, the Lord--they're clean, God's Word says--& you train them even before they're conceived. Because when you're training yourself, the Lord's training you, He's training your children! I just pass on to my children what my parents passed on to me. PTL? So, hallelujah!

       66. AND IN THE PROCESS, SINCE WE STARTED FFing, WE HAVE HAD ABOUT 300 JESUS BABIES! Now, would you like to get the ratio between the FFing & the Jesus babies? It would be interesting to see the ratio between the percentage of jackpots which are hit within the Family, our birthrate within the Family, & our birthrate, you might say, without the Family, or the Jesus babies. Since we only started keeping FFing stats, sad to say, a little bit late--in fact these only show the last four years since the end of '77, beginning of '78--we can strike an average anyhow & by the end of this year it will be about 70,000 fish loved in four years, or about 18,000 fish loved every year. Let's give it a nice generous figure of at least 20,000 fish fucked every year.

       67. MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN BOGGED DOWN WITH THIS, BUT IT'S INTERESTING! I'm interested in the difference between our birth rate in the Family & our birth rate in Jesus babies. Well anyhow, 300 Jesus babies out of 80,000 fucks is only one out of every 266 fucks. We get one Jesus baby out of every 266 FF fucks! Well, we don't know exactly how many, but roughly speaking, I'd say it was at least one. Do you like math? I always enjoyed math, it's interesting! And I love stats, as you can see, because it really tells whether you're making progress or not!

       68. NOW WE'VE GOT TO FIGURE OUT ABOUT HOW MANY FAMILY FUCKS IT TAKES TO PRODUCE ONE OF OUR FAMILY BABIES. They're all Family babies, but for the sake of identification. If you take the over 5000 adults & you divide them into 2500 couples, roughly speaking, fucking at least once a day 365 days a year times 2500 that's nearly a million fucks per year, & in ten years that's 10 million fucks. We get 700 children or more a year now from our present population, so 2500 couples roughly speaking are producing about 700 babies per million fucks a year, or only one baby for about every 1500 fucks!

       69. SO ACCORDING TO THAT, GOD IS BLESSING THE FFing EVEN MORE THAN THE FAMILY BABIES! We're getting a higher percentage of Jesus babies according to the number of FF fucks than we are from Family fucks! Now one of you real mathematicians who likes that kind of stuff can figure it out to a fine point if you can. Of course, really, these are certain indeterminate factors & we don't know exactly how many times the Family fucks & exactly how many times the FFers fucked the fish, but give or take a little you can get some kind of a close estimate or guesstimate, at least.

       70. BUT IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE GOD IS ESPECIALLY BLESSING OUR FFers & MAKING THEM EVEN MORE FRUITFUL THAN JUST THE SELFISH FAMILY FUCKING! Now that ought to be a point in favour of FFing! But maybe that's going to scare some of you girls out of FFing! Ha! Make'm afraid to FF because you've got a five-to-one better chance of being blessed with a baby through FFing! But to me, that's very interesting! Maybe we spent too much time on the fucking stats, the fruit of fucking, but PTL, I'll tell you, it's one very fruitful field of planting & reaping in our Family! PTL!

       71. MAYBE THAT WAS THE CLIMAX!--Or a lot of climaxes! Maybe the rest of these stats I tell you will be the anticlimax! But sometimes a little afterplay is pleasant too, after the climax, amen? You might like to know how the Homes are rating. Guess what continent is number one in our ratings now & has been running number one almost consistently for the past several months?--Latin America!--With the highest number of gains in Homes, gains in disciples, & second only in converts & lit per adult! We penalise them for bigger Homes, so they're third in their score for Homes, when actually they should be higher in their score for Homes because they have larger Homes, more co-ops, more adults than children, etc. We need more co-ops now, so they should get a higher score for that.

       72. SO IN SPITE OF THAT HANDICAP OF THE LARGER HOMES--which we were counting as a handicap before--now that we're going to count it as an asset & not penalise'm for larger Homes, they're gonna clear & away flat-out beat the rest of the World in their stats, apparently, as number one rater for the whole World! Now can you get a little idea why maybe the Lord's sending half the Family to S. America?--Well, at least half of it.--It's a real fruitful field & they really do well down there & are getting a real harvest, PTL!

       73. AND AS FRED JORDAN ONCE SAID, IF YOU COULD EVER REALLY GET THOSE LATINS REALLY SAVED, filled with the Holy Ghost, on-fire for the Lord & witnessing & soul-winning, you'd absolutely turn this whole World rightside-up! They'd probably evangelise the whole World because they're so fiery & have so much drive & are such flaming witnesses! I mean, we've got some outstanding Latins who are really on-fire! They've sort of been smouldering & a little sort of burned out in the last few years after the collapse of the Chain after which they were without leadership--they were leaderless, shepherdless & even fellowshipless, so they sort of stagnated for quite a while--but they're still there! GB'M!

       74. AND THOSE LITTLE SMOULDERING COALS ARE STILL GLOWING, still alive, still living for the Lord, still doing a little witnessing & litnessing, & now all we have to do is do a little blowing on them & bring them back to life & inflame them again! And the blowing we're doing is sending you all down South to blow, & sending all these MCV tapes down there to blow on the fire, & all the video tapes to blow on the fire, until I think we're going to have a real conflagration down there!

       75. IT MIGHT INTEREST YOU TO KNOW THAT THOUGH THE FAMILY STARTED OUT VIRTUALLY 100% AMERICANS, GUESS WHAT PERCENT AMERICANS WE ARE TODAY? We're only about one-third Americans! But the miracle & the marvel of it is that we are now about 2/3 70 or 80 other nationalities! We used to be all Americans, now we're only one out of three Americans. The vast majority of the Family are now citizens of the whole World, instead of the Americans having a monopoly on the Jesus Revolution in the Family. Isn't that wonderful? I would say we are nationalised, praise God? Really nationalised!

       76. AND, IT MIGHT INTEREST YOU TO KNOW THAT WE ARE MORE THAN HALF NATIONALS IN MOST OF THE COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD! And, in fact, of the 20 largest countries, one dozen are more than half nationals. PTL! Isn't that wonderful? And the countries which are still less than one-half nationals does not mean by any means that they are mostly Americans. Because actually, in most of these cases they are other Latin nationals, which would really count, you might say as nationals! So in a way it's not even fair to consider it this way. For example, Argentina is only 43% nationals, but only 23% U.S. Americans & 33% other nationalities. See? So actually of this supposed less than half-nationals, only 23% are Americans. Savvy?--So 77% are really nationals!

       77. WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW THOSE COUNTRIES WHICH HAVE THE LARGEST AMERICAN POPULATION of the countries which are less than half nationals? The largest American population of any other country in the World outside of America is guess what? There is a country with 54% Americans outside of the U.S.--Chile! They're really flooding into Chile. The next largest American population outside of the U.S., would you like to know that one? 45% Americans--the Philippines! Next largest percentage outside of the U.S.A., 42% of our Family in Mexico are Americans. Next, number four, with 28.6% is Greece. Next with 28.2%--I'd say it's a good place to be a missionary--Japan!

       78. --AS FOR THE REST OF THE TOP TEN AMERICANISED COUNTRIES--WOULD YOU LIKE THOSE? OK. 20.3% for Peru, France is next with 18.5%, Spain 8th with 17.4%, & there are two tying for 9th place, 15.7% Americans, Venezuela & Indonesia. Indonesia has really received us, along with Thailand, terrifically. And then 10th is 15.5%, Switzerland!

       79. SO BELOVED, THOSE ARE THE PLACES NOT TO GO FOR YOU AMERICANS, they've got enough of you already! And most of those places are pretty well glutted with not only Americans but other nationalities & nationals as well. They're overloaded with Americans already & there are lots of other places in the World to go. PTL? OK!

       80. OUR WITNESS IN THE WORLD, WE'RE NOW RUNNING BETWEEN 50 & 60,000 CONVERTS A MONTH! PTL! TTL! That's 2000 converts a day, PTL? I don't know any other church that I know of that's winning 2000 souls a day, growing at that rate. We could count'm as members if we wanted to, but we don't count anybody as our Family members except those who tithe &/or fellowship. But they're members of His Church, PTL? They've joined the Kingdom of God if they're saved, I believe it! PTL? OK! Hallelujah! 60,000 new members a month!

       81. FOR SOME REASON OR OTHER THE TERMS HAVE GOTTEN TO BE THOUGHT TO BE SYNONYMOUS, THAT FF MEANS FUCK, but it ain't necessarily so! You can sexually attract someone & witness to them in a, you might say, sexual way because you're the opposite sex & sexual attraction was the tool or the method, not necessarily going all the way. For example, in our last four years of FFing we've FF witnessed to over 400,000 souls, whereas you've only actually fucked 63,000. So you've only had to go to bed with one out of seven to witness to them at least. And out of the number you've gone to bed with, guess how many you've won?--Exactly half! One out of two!

       82. ONE OUT OF EVERY TWO YOU GO TO BED WITH, YOU HAVE WON TO THE LORD! Now that is a very high percentage of fruit from seed sown! That's much higher than one-out-of-a hundred by lit distribution! That's much higher than the total of nearly 30 billion witnessed to & only 4 1/2 million won! That's only one out of 6000 of those witnessed to, only one-out-of-a-hundred of those litnessed to, but one out of two of those fucked to!--So FFing is 3,000 times as effective as all other witnessing combined!

       83. SO WHAT IS THE MOST FRUITFUL FORM OF WITNESSING & SOUL-WINNING?--TO SHOW THEM THE LOVE OF GOD, TO PROVE THAT GOD LOVES THEM! To show them you are the Love of God! Isn't that wonderful? PTL! Even of the one out of seven of those actually FF witnessed to that you had to go to bed with, even out of all those, you won one out of 12!--33,439 into 407,348! Out of those FF witnessed to, in other words, where sex was part of the deal & attraction--if not actually going to bed but the sexual attraction, FF witnessing--you have won one out of 12 FFing, & one out of two you've actually gone all the way with!

       84. FFing HAS BECOME OUR MOST FRUITFUL FORM OF WITNESSING, THE MOST EFFECTIVE & THE MOST FRUITFUL! Is it worth it? Hallelujah! And God's even blessed it, as we just found out, with a higher birth rate than just the normal Family conjugation. You thought conjugation had just to do with verbs, well, a verb has something to do with action or motion, & this kind of conjugation really gets results! Hallelujah! Conjugal conjugation!--Putting the Words or seeds into action! Hallelujah! GBY! ILY FFers!

       85. WELL, THAT'S IT, & I GUESS YOU COULDN'T TOP THAT ONE, THAT WAS THE CLIMAX!--The climaxes bring the climax! The most fruitful form of witnessing is FFing, with the surest results, the highest proportion of results for the number witnessed to, as well as to the number actually gone to bed with or actually had sex with. Is it worth it? (Family: Amen!) Is it fruitful? Is it effective? God bless our FFers!

       86. DID YOU KNOW THAT WE HAVE JUST HAD THE GREATEST YEAR OF FFing WE'VE EVER HAD?--The best ever! Just because you haven't heard much about it lately & not much has been said about it, doesn't mean that the girls haven't been busy at it! It has been skyrocketing! You have done more FFing this past year than any previous year, & you have won more souls FFing this past year than any previous year. More & more of our girls are FFing & getting more & more results, winning more souls! Hallelujah! TYJ! GBY!

       87. JUST BECAUSE IT HASN'T BEEN THE HEADLINE NEWS IN THE FAMILY MAGAZINE & you haven't heard as much about it as you did during the incipient stages of '76--I always remember '76 because that's the year Family of Love got famous in Tenerife, ha! When we finally hit the jackpot & made the headlines FFing with the FOL, we had to leave Tenerife. That's how effective it was! We were winning too many converts--the police, the Guardia Civil, the mayor, the police chiefs, the top representatives of the Bishop, the young people, the college students, the Mafia!

       88. WE WERE GETTING EVERYBODY!--AND THE BISHOP WAS GETTING SCARED STIFF! I doubt if he could get stiff at his age, but anyway, he was getting scared & he decided it was time to put a stop to it. It was being too effective, too fruitful & we were getting too many souls, winning too many hearts, winning too many friends as well! So that was when it got started back in those days.

       89. YOU HEARD MORE ABOUT IT THEN, WE WROTE MORE LETTERS ABOUT IT, IT WAS MORE IN THE NEWS & maybe you thought since then maybe it's kind of cooled off, maybe so many girls aren't FFing. Maybe some of you girls thought, "Well, maybe I'm a rare exception now, there aren't so many FFing girls anymore & not many FF Homes, maybe FFing is sort of going down the drain & maybe we're not FFing so much anymore, maybe it's not as popular anymore, maybe we're not getting as much results that way, maybe it didn't work out after all!"--You're mistaken!

       90. WE'VE JUST BEEN STRESSING OTHER KINDS OF NEWS & MORE ON THE MOVE & going as missionaries to more countries & being mobile & all kinds of other things which we have to stress--we stress different things at different times which need stressing. We haven't been stressing FFing much lately because it didn't need it, because you've been stressing it! Even Mama & some of our family here have been FFing this past year--again & yet--praise God, & getting some results! PTL! (See "Maria's Latest FF Adventure!" in this issue!)

       91. SO JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T HEARD AS MUCH ABOUT IT LATELY DOESN'T MEAN IT HASN'T BEEN GOING ON! In fact, it's been going on more than ever & getting more results than ever as the most effective, efficient & fruitful--there's the 3 FFs!--Effective, efficient & fruitful!--Of all the means of witnessing & winning souls that we are practicing! PTL? Hallelujah! Does it make you want to get out & FF right away quick? PTL! Amen! TYJ! So how can we top that climax?

       92. THE FF CLIMAX IS THAT WE HAVE WON NEARLY 35,000 SOULS TO THE LORD IN OUR FFing HISTORY just since we kept stats the last four years! That's only '78, '79, '80 & '81. Look at all the years we missed! We were FFing in '73, Maria & I, before we ever went to Tenerife in '74! So there's about five years they missed altogether from '73 to '78! The first FF stats we've got is '78, think of that! Missed a whole five years! So God knows how many we've actually won in all that time, I bet it's maybe 40 or 50,000!

       93. SO WHAT ARE THE 3 F's OF FFing? It has certainly proved to be the most effective, efficient & fruitful! Maybe I should have said, effucktive, effective, efficient & fruitful! The most effucktive, effective, efficient & fruitful! Right? PTL! So thank God, we've really got the results to prove it! PTL! TYJ!

       94. WELL, DOES THAT CHEER YOU UP, WHAT WE'VE ACCOMPLISHED DURING THE PAST YEAR? This is New Year's Day & we're talking about our victories for the past old year. And I'd say that was a glorious 1981, hallelujah? And the stats are not even all in yet! Not all the runners have reached the finish line yet. We just got most of them across the line so that's pretty close, we've got two more month's stats to come in yet & that may absolutely top the charts! PG? Still got November & December stats to come in. So, PTL! GBY all, all of you faithful children of the Lord & witnesses for the Lord, seed-sowers for the Lord--litnessers, FFers, whatever you are, GBY all!

       95. I WOULD CERTAINLY SAY THAT FFing IS NOT ONLY THE MOST EFFUCKTIVE, EFFECTIVE, EFFICIENT & FRUITFUL IN SOUL-WINNING, BUT OF COURSE IT IS ALSO THE MOST SACRIFICIAL! You are really laying down your lives for these souls, but it works, you win one out of every two you lie down for! For every two you lay down your lives for, you win every other one, praise God, & the other one is responsible, let me tell you! And who knows but what they decide later, having had such a witness! Maybe they didn't decide then, but I wouldn't be surprised they have decided since or will still decide when the crunch comes. Amen?

       96. SO YOU THINK I'VE FADED OUT ON FFing? You think I've slowed down on FFing? You think I've diminished the emphasis on FFing & I'm not as sold on FFing as I used to be & I'm not talking as much about it, maybe we're not doing as much & maybe we're not getting as much results?--Don't kid yourself! I'm getting more sold on it every day as being the most effucktive, effective, efficient, effruitful method of all kinds of witnessing! It gets results!

       97. ANY SALESMAN WHO COULD BOAST THAT OUT OF EVERY TWO CUSTOMERS THAT HE GAVE A SAMPLE TO HE MADE A SALE WOULD BE A TOPFLIGHT SALESMAN! Right? And that one out of every 12 that he made a pitch to--he advertised to--he sold, that is a good high percentage of sales! A very good high percentage of sales from just even your general advertising more or less.

       98. AS I USED TO GO HOUSE TO HOUSE I ALWAYS GAVE SAMPLES, & boy, I'll tell you, if I had sold one out of every two homes I called on, I'd have been a rich boy a long time ago! I did pretty good as it was! I'd say maybe I did, oh, one out of every two or three anyhow. Those dear ladies looked at this poor little pitiful skinny little runt not much bigger than David hauling around that big 20-pound sample case going through his pitch & opening it up & showing them all the things, how could they refuse?--And

       99. WHEN YOU LUG YOUR POOR LITTLE FRAIL DELICATE SWEET TENDER BODY AROUND TO THEIR HOTEL DOORS & open up your sample case & offer'm a sample, how could they refuse? PG? One out of every two that takes the sample takes the hook! One out of every two that gobbles the bait, gets the hook & gets saved! Isn't that wonderful, Family? Out of every two people FFed all the way, one gets saved! That is terrific!

       100. SO I THINK I'D LIKE TO DECLARE 1982 OUR GREATEST FF YEAR! I believe we're going to have more FFing & greater FFing & more success at FFing now in the coming year & the coming years than ever before as the other doors are closed & you can no longer openly litness anymore, you can no longer openly busk & cafe & park & street sing, etc., anymore, you'll be run off the streets, & the only place you're going to be able to really effectively witness is undercover, under the covers! Amen?

       101. I BELIEVE IT IS GOING TO BECOME--IT HAS BECOME ALREADY--OUR MOST EFFUCKTIVE, EFFECTIVE, EFFICIENT & FRUITFUL FORM OF WITNESSING! But I believe it is going to become our greatest form of witnessing, probably almost the most numerous form of witnessing as all other doors are closed & you cannot hit the streets anymore, maybe you can't even dare go door-to-door anymore.--There's three doors closed of the 7 Supporters! Out of the 7 Supporters only five are ministries, right? What are they again?--Litnessing, busking--that's all forms of public witness--door-to-door--that's getting more private all the time--Mail Ministry & FFing. That's five witnessing & supporting ministries.

       102. THEN THERE ARE TWO MORE SUPPORTERS THAT ARE NOT NECESSARILY MINISTRIES.--One's provisioning, although that can be a ministry, in a way, & the other is just a plain job. So out of the 7 Supporters, only five are ministries, means of ministering, right? Again: Litnessing, busking, door-to-door, mail & FFing, major ministries. Now you can make provisioning a ministry, in a way, if you work at it, & even on your job you can be a witness, but they're usually more purely for support. Provisioning & a job are primarily for support, not as a means of witnessing.

       103. SO WE HAVE FIVE MAIN ACTUAL WITNESSING MINISTRIES which are primarily witnessing ministries, mostly for witnessing, but also from which we get support. All right, here goes the litnessing, boom! No more litnessing on the streets of many countries, particularly after the war, gone! That leaves four. Busking will go with it, cafe singing & a lot of maybe park & street singing. At least street singing & park singing. You might be able to get away with cafe singing as a job for awhile, but there goes most of your busking if they chase you off the streets & out of the parks. What next?

       104. DOOR-TO-DOOR, THEY'VE GOT LAWS IN MANY COUNTRIES WHERE YOU CAN'T GO DOOR-TO-DOOR & DISTRIBUTE LITERATURE, they even have them in the United States--& they still have them in some communities against the Constitution! And although the Jehovah's Witnesses & the Mormons & the Christian Scientists have fought them clear to the Supreme Court time & time & time again, those little communities still have those laws in their books & they'll still run you in & fine you or jail you or forbid you to go door-to-door, & you've got to fight it all the way to Supreme Court to win the case!--Because the local courts will decide against you.

       105. SO THERE GOES YOUR DOOR-TO-DOOR, EVEN ALREADY GONE IN MANY COMMUNITIES IN THE UNITED STATES, LEAVING ONLY WHAT?--MAIL MINISTRY & FFing as the only two remaining supportive ministries, by the mail & by FFing. And do you know what I think? After the war we don't know how long one of those is going to last--which one? The mail may be so restricted or so censored or so spied on or so limited that the International Mail Ministry even of World Services may be cut off completely! And as I've said before, we may have to do it then by courier as they did in the early days of the Church, go back to personal couriers, personal messengers again.

       106. BUT THERE WILL STILL BE ONE OUTSTANDING POSSIBLE VERY EFFUCKTIVE, EFFECTIVE, EFFICIENT & FRUITFUL SUPPORTIVE MINISTRY LEFT, particularly for you girls! You may be the last witnesses! Revelation 11 didn't say what the sex of those last Two Witnesses was, did it? Maybe all our last witnesses will be women! It didn't say what the sex of all those people were who were caught up in the Rapture, did it? Maybe it will be mostly our girls! Maybe they'll have gotten rid of most of us boys by that time, who knows? Oh, there'll be a lot of powerful rich women who'll want boys too, so I think there'll be some of both sexes, boys--don't worry!

       107. BUT YOU GIRLS WILL BE ABLE TO CARRY ON! Lord forgive me for this, but a poem comes back to me, one of the soldiers in my barracks used to recite all the time: "I'll keep on fuckin' to my fuckin' end!" Ha! You think that's pretty crude & coarse, but that's the facts of fuckin', of FFing! Men will need women & women will need men to the very end, so it'll still be an effective, effucktive, efficient & fruitful ministry right up to the End, probably the last of the 7 Supporters when provisioning is gone & you're not even allowed to hold a job anymore because you haven't got the number. But you'll still be working, girls, as long as they've got your number, your phone number! Amen? HALLELUJAH!! Praise God for FFing! TYJ! Isn't that wonderful? Isn't that encouraging?

       108. WE'RE FAMOUS FOR OUR EMPHASIS ON SURVIVAL, RIGHT? And as I've proved to you this afternoon, it's not only the most effective, effucktive, efficient, fruitful & supportive for some of our Homes, but that's their major support & they get good support from it! I mean, they make thousands & help many other Homes & missionaries as a result, they share.--It's not only one of the best in every way, it's also the most supportive & it will be the longest-to-survive ministry.

       109. DID I MAKE A GOOD CASE FOR FFing? Any of you folks out yonder in Radioland or wherever you are who haven't tried FFing, you'd better get on the ball--or the balls--quick in order to get a little experience & get going so you'll still have something to fall back on--or fall forward on--when the crunch comes & there's no more ministry or supporter of any other kind left! Praise God?

       110. THAT'S THE ONE THING THEY DIDN'T BRING OUT IN THE COREY TEN BOOM CHURCHY BOOKS & the movie I don't think either, was her original book testimony we read, how that they became the favourites of the officers in the camp, & in making love to them they witnessed to them & won'm to the Lord! Of course, the church couldn't accept that, couldn't take that! But we managed to get a copy of her first edition & Mama Eve & I read it together, & Eve was just so amazed & so shocked to think that she would do such a thing, that they would actually make love to the Nazi officers of the camp in order to win'm to the Lord!

       111. THEY ALSO GOT SPECIAL FAVOURED TREATMENT, special food, special housing, & even managed, like Esther, to help protect some of the other folks of the camp from extermination, by FFing the officers! So it's the most officerish--I should say--ministry as well! And some people think it's the most awful ministry! The churches & the System condemn us for it & accuse us for it & say we're awful & it's the most awful ministry, but I'll tell you, when the crunch comes it will be the one that'll last the longest & supports & wins souls to the very End! Praise God? Hallelujah!

       112. SO WHAT CAN I MORE SAY? Time & space would not allow me to speak of--as the Apostle said in the 11th Chapter of Hebrews--all the FFers of the Bible & of history & of the Church, believe it or not, the patriarchs & all the rest, right up to the present. God bless you girls & you women & all you FFers, male or female, you are delivering the goods!--As well as the babies! And you are getting results, forever & lasting!

       113. THAT'S ANOTHER "F," THE MOST FOREVER! It's a forever ministry too, TTL! It's fruit forever! I'll bet we could get 7 F's out of that somehow! (Sara: Financial!) Yes, the most financial! What have we got?--The most effective, effucktive, efficient, fruitful, supportive would be financial, officerish or official--you get at more officials that way, that's a good point, more important officials, important men--& it's forever, praise God! TYL! That's 7 F's, the 7 F's of FFing! PTL?--Effucktive, effective, efficient, fruitful, financial, official & forever! PG! Hallelujah! TYJ! Amen!

       114. IS THAT ENOUGH TO ENCOURAGE YOU ABOUT WHAT WE'VE ACCOMPLISHED IN THE PAST & WHAT I CAN SEE HAPPENING IN THE FUTURE? We don't know how long these others will last. In lots of countries they're already gone. We don't even know how long the mail will last, your mail ministry, one of the last of your ministries that is supportive. But praise God, all things will pass away, Heaven & Earth will pass away, but His Word through FFing will last forever! (Mt.24:35.) TYL! Praise God! Hallelujah! TYJ! FF fruit's forever!

       115. WELL, IF THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE MY KEYNOTE SPEECH FOR 1982, THAT MAY BE A SHOCKER TO SOME! If you think we've let up on the FFing & we're not emphasising it anymore, if you think we're letting down on it--letting up on it or letting down on it, whatever you want to call it--we're not letting down, we're not letting up, we're doing both!--Up & down, up & down! Hallelujah! Praise God? In & out, round about! TYL! As I tell the girls when I'm making love to them, "How do you like it? In & out? Round about? Faster slower, higher lower?" But whatever way you do it, just do it, & the Lord will bless you with results!

       116. I BELIEVE IT! I'M SOLD ON IT, OR I WOULDN'T HAVE GONE THIS FAR WITH IT! We've been FFing since '73, this is '82, that's ten years! What do you think about that, Maria? (Maria: I'm sold!) She just glows just to think about it! And when she is FFing, she's absolutely radiant, I never saw the like! She practically sparks & sparkles! PTL! TYJ! As we pray together: (Prays the Lord's Prayer.) PTL!

       117. AND EVEN HIS NAME BEGINS WITH "F," OUR FATHER IN HEAVEN! PTL? Hallelujah! I like that letter "F"! It used to be a bad letter in school, it meant "failed" in school, "F" was a bad letter. But in the Family, "F" stands for success! Suck-cess! If at first you don't succeed (suck seed--get it?) keep on suckin' till you do! PTL! Especially until you've planted the seed of His Word & you have gotten fruit & won souls! PTL! Hallelujah! TYJ!--Amen?

       118. YOU THINK I'M A LITTLE TOO RAW?--I'm a little too coarse & crude & flagrant? Well, I'm just being honest! I kind of get away with saying things that other people are almost ashamed to think! But I like to be shocking! I like to wake people up, I like to be honest, I like to tell the facts, say it the way it is! PTL? I've been fuckin' Mama now for about 12 years, TTL, & we've got some good fruit from that too!


       120. FAMILY! THERE'S ANOTHER GOOD "F," PRAISE GOD! Think of all the nice "F's" in our FFing today! I never really planned it this way, it must have been the Lord. I wasn't planning to really come out this strong about FFing, but God had His way & I'm sure the Holy Spirit gave you what He wanted you to have in our New Year's Day Keynote Address for the New Year!

       121. THE 7 F'S OF FFing!--CAN YOU NAME'M? GBY! Not only name'm but do'm! Amen? PTL! GBY for FFing!--& He does & will!--FFing is Forever! Hallelujah! TYJ for it! And help all our Family to FF till You come!--& then we, your Bride, will fuck YOU Jesus!--At the Marriage Supper of the Lamb! Hal! TYJ! PG!

       122. IN FACT WE'RE ALREADY FUCKIN' YOU, JESUS, IN THE SPIRIT & GETTING THE FRUITS OF THE SPIRIT IN THY LOVE!--You FFed us, Your Bride, & we've borne Your Jesus' babies!--FFed souls saved forever!--FFing is Forever! Try it! You'll love it!--Amen? PTL! GBY!

       123. I FFed YOU! I FUCK YOU IN THE SPIRIT WITH HIS SEEDS, HIS WORDS, EVERYDAY! Amen? HAL! PTL! TYJ! C'mon, let's fuck away! BOOM! WOW! Whatta Word-fuck! Wotta Word Orgasm! Wotta Climax!--Amen? PTL! GBY! Fuck'm everyday, sow'm everyway, keep on fuckin'm to that fuckin' Day!--with Jesus!--Amen? HAL! GBYAKY fuckin' away for Jesus!--In Jesus' name forever!--Amen!--Amen?--Amen! ILY!--Thanks for the terrific fuck! WOW! TYJ!--In Jesus' name, Amen! (Sorry! I thought this was the last page!--Ha!--Anyhow, it was fun & a good fuck!--Amen?)

       124. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY CALL IT A KEYNOTE FOR[DELETED]? It is the key note on which you're supposed to start your song. The leader blows the pitch pipe & gives you the key, & that's where you're supposed to start singing. Well, a politician or a businessman who gives a keynote address, he gives you the key with the right note to begin on, to go from there on. See? He gives you the key to success in sales or politics.

       125. AND OF COURSE, LOVE IS THE KEY TO EVERY HEART, & that is the most love you can give anybody, right?--That'll open almost any heart. PTL? So that's my keynote address for the year 1982, that the key to every heart is love, & the note that gets the most music & best songs & the most happiness & the most souls is FFing! PG? Hallelujah! I'm sorry for you all here, because you're selah & can't do more of it, but PTL! TYJ for FFing. Amen? Shall we thank the Lord for FFing, that He showed us this FFing ten years ago? Think of it!

       126. SO MARIA'S BEEN AT IT FOR ALMOST TEN YEARS! She's a 10-year veteran! Really she's more than that because she FFed me, really! She FFed me in 1969, so that's 12 years of FFing! She FFed me & a few others, God bless her!--Didn't fuck'm all, but FFing doesn't always mean fucking, don't get the wrong idea, but it often does & almost usually does. If it's to be the effective, it usually has to be effucktive, PTL? To be effucktive, efficient, effective, effruitful, official, financial & forever!--The 7 F's of FFing, PTL!

       127. AND EVEN OUR GOD IS CALLED A WORD THAT BEGINS WITH "F," AS WELL AS OUR FAMILY-- OUR FATHER & OUR FAMILY! So "F" is a pretty important letter, even though they used to give it to you for failure in school, it means success in the Kingdom of God & the Lord's work. PTL? Isn't that wonderful? ILY! The Lord bless thee & keep thee, the Lord make His face to shine upon thee & be gracious unto thee; the Lord lift up His countenance upon thee & give thee peace! (Num.6:24-26.)--A piece of FFing too!

       128. AND I'M VERY SORRY, IT MUST HAVE BEEN SOME KIND OF A MIRACLE OF GOD THAT I FORGOT LAST NIGHT WAS NEW YEAR'S EVE & it was your fault too because not one of you reminded me! That is going to be the joke of the beginning of the New Year! When I heard all those fireworks & all those bang bangs & blowing I thought, "What little village over here is celebrating its fiesta, anyhow?"--When it was the whole World celebrating New Year's Eve except me! I forgot all about it! Completely forgot about it being New Year's Eve! I'm sorry.--Ha!

       129. BUT WHO KNOWS, MAYBE IT WAS THE LORD, because I certainly would have remembered otherwise. I think you guys were praying against me so that I wouldn't remember so you wouldn't have to stay up so late! Otherwise you might have had to hear this last night, whereas I might have been too tired--I was--& you might have been too tired too, & the children wouldn't have gotten in on it like this. So PTL! "All things work together for good to them that love the Lord!" (Rom.8:28.)

       130. ANYHOW, I GOT TO GREET YOU HAPPY NEW YEAR when it finally dawned on me it was the New Year, & here we are celebrating New Year's Day, at least, with the glance back at the victories of the past, & a little glance forward, a little preview of what I think is going to happen in the future. Some of you have already heard the World Series, what I'm expecting to happen in current events, World events.--You got it first on tape.

       131. THERE'S ONLY ONE THAT YOU HAVEN'T HEARD & maybe you'd like to hear it, the very specifics of what I'm expecting to happen when the war comes, immediately after--the getting down to really the nitty-gritty of the war, how I expect it to happen, & when, & what's going to be the effect. We've covered a lot of these things, but with real specifics of what it will mean to us immediately after the war.

       132. IT APPLIES TO YOU & ME & WILL EFFECT US VERY GREATLY, so that's one reason we're trying to hurry up & get out of here & came back only to get others out of here. We could have just saved ourselves, but we've come back to save others. We hope ourselves we still can save. Amen? So we're shovin'm out, shovin' the little birdies out of their nests as fast as we can, about nine or ten bunches already that we're going to have to get out of here, & that's quite a task! It costs a lot of money & a lot of work, takes a lot of time & finding a lot of places to go. We came back to help you before we go.

       133. SO PLEASE PRAY THAT THE LORD WILL REALLY WORK MIRACLES IN OPENING UP HOMES & countries & cities & places to go where we can effectively carry on our ministry hereafter. PTL? We're trying to get done as many big projects as we can before we go, that's why we're here, to help finish up a lot of things. Because we don't have any idea what's going to happen next, the war could be any day the way Reagan & Brezhnev are shoutin' at each other.

       134. BREZHNEV SAYS THAT REAGAN'S THE ONE THAT'S FOOLING AROUND WITH INTERNAL AFFAIRS OF POLAND, & I don't doubt it, & Reagan says Brezhnev's the one that's fooling around with internal affairs of Poland, & that's obvious, & they're both accusing each other of disturbing the peace! And of course they're both right, they're both disturbing the peace! So that's one thing they're both right about! Ha! And they're really going to disturb it this time the worst ever, so God help us to get out before it happens! Amen? So we can carry on as long as we can.


       136. I BET YOU CAN REMEMBER THE 7 F's of FFing! Can you remember them all?--Effective, effucktive, efficient, fruitful, financial, official & forever! PTL! ILY! TYJ for FFing! So FF away to that FF Day when we'll all FF with Jesus! Amen? GBAKY FFing forever! In Jesus' name, amen.

Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family