Home » Children of God Publications » Maria’s Birthday!

The Family / Children of God

Internal Publications and Secret Directives

DISCLAIMER: The sole purpose of this page is to document the existence of a publication produced by The Family International a.k.a. The Family, Family of Love, Children of God and various pseudonyms (hereon referred to as TFI). It is provided for the record, for educational and research purposes, with the principal aim of promoting accountability by the TFI for its teachings and statements, which have proven detrimental to the lives of many. By replicating this material, exFamily.org neither endorses the views expressed in this publication nor justifies the existence of this publication and its statements. Reader discretion is advised. The material on this page may be unsuitable for minors and may contain disturbing words of racism, hate mongering, directives to unhealthy lifestyles and/or criminal activity, and/or contain plagiarized works.
THIS PUBLICATION MAY HAVE BEEN "SANITIZED." This digital format of this publication was extracted from TFI's HomeARC 99, which was subjected to encryption and editing by TFI, who, in order to hide its controversial writings and thus escape moral and/or legal accountability for past/present core beliefs and directives, sanitized (edited) and purged (deleted, destroyed, burned) its texts—both printed and electronic. Where possible, exFamily.org has compared this digital material with the cult's original paper-printed versions to ensure that this publication accurately reflects the original, uncensored version. Locations where the text has obviously or potentially been sanitized is hilighted with bright-red [DELETED] or [EDITED] markers.

MARIA'S BIRTHDAY!       DO 1267       7/82

       1. HIP HIP, PRAISE THE LORD! HIP HIP, HALLELUJAH! HIP HIP, THANK YOU JESUS! Amen! Isn't that better than Hip Hip, Hooray? I don't know who the hell Hooray is! Who is Ray? Oh boy, what a birthday dinner--tacos! Mommy gets her favourite on her birthday! (Maria: One of my favourites!) TYJ! Hallelujah! (Techi: My favourite is you!) (Maria: Well, Grandpa's my most favourite!) Oh, you couldn't beat that one! She said, "Grandpa, my favourite is you!" You can't eat me though! Tacos are Mommy's favourite dinner. (Maria: Grandpa's my favourite person!) (Everyone sings "Happy Birthday" to Maria & gives her a gift: a bouquet of lovely red roses!)
       2. (MARIA: BEAUTIFUL! MY FAVOURITE FLOWERS!) You'll have to open them & let's get a vase so we can all enjoy your birthday present! (Maria to Techi: You like red roses too, don't you?) (Dad sings:) "Give me red roses, for a pink lady!" Hallelujah! TYL! Everybody happy tonight? How could we be anything but happy with beauties like this around! [DELETED]
       3. WELL, WE'D LIKE YOU TO TELL US WHEN YOU FIRST MET MARIA, when & where & under what circumstances; whether it was 12 years ago or last week or yesterday or whatever, & what was your first impression & reaction? Now be honest! Of course, most of you were probably scared stiff, so admit it!--Because probably I was with her too!--You seldom ever meet her without me, when you meet the one you meet the other!
       4. I DON'T KNOW WHY PEOPLE ARE AFRAID OF ME! You know how harmless I am, Peter! I haven't beat you up too many times! (Peter: Not once!) And I don't bawl you out more than once a week. (Peter: Hardly at all!) So why should people be afraid of me? But we are even supposed to be afraid of the Lord, & with anybody in authority there's a natural amount of awe. We're supposed to fear the Lord: "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom!" (Ps.111:10)
       5. WELL, NORMALLY YOU'LL FIND OUT YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR FROM ME--providing you behave & you don't get out of line--& even then I'll be pretty mild in my remonstrance, in my correction. It's not very often I have to lower the rod or the boom, & when it comes to that they usually recover. Alfred, you recovered. (Alf: Oh yes!) Sara, you've recovered. How many of you have recovered? Ha! What do you mean, Jan? I never bawled you out! Well, I have in the Letters, I've bawled you all out!
       6. BUT I THINK IT WOULD BE INTERESTING TO FIND OUT WHEN YOU FIRST MET MARIA & what the circumstances were, both your impression & your reaction. Then tell us the difference today, what's the difference after having known her longer? Even if it's a few days or a few years, has there been any change in your reaction, your opinion, your impression? Has it improved or deteriorated or what?
       7. COME ON, MARIA! I'M INTERESTED TO KNOW! After all, it's your birthday!--And I've got to think up something for them to do while I eat! I thought this was very interesting the last time we did it & I think we'll all enjoy it. We found out some interesting tidbits of history!
       8. SOMETIMES I THINK BIRTHDAYS ARE A LITTLE BIT LIKE WEDDINGS: They're really not always so much for the benefit of the poor celebrant, but rather for the sake of friends & relatives to enjoy the occasion. The bride usually cries & the mother usually cries & the bridegroom nearly has a nervous breakdown, & after the thing's over they virtually collapse!--Who in the World can have a wedding night after all that? I know I couldn't make it for two weeks! Anyway, it wasn't my fault, but that's another story. You're not going to make it with her tonight, you're just going to tell how you wish you could!--Ha!
       9. DAVID, WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST IMPRESSION OF YOUR MOTHER WHEN YOU FIRST MET HER? I'll tell you, because I was there. I'll give you your first reaction: Waaaaaaaaah! Actually, Honey, you didn't cry right away. You were such a good baby. He had no problem breathing at all, they didn't have to hold him up by the heels & spank him to make him cry to breathe, he was just fine. (At Maternity Clinic in Tenerife.)
       10. THEY JUST LAID HIM ON HIS MAMA'S TUMMY & THEN THE NURSE & RACHEL TOOK HIM OVER TO THE WASHBASIN & laid him out on the sink top there, & he didn't cry until they doused him with that ice cold water, & that's enough to make anybody cry! I mean, the place was cold as a crutch to begin with, so cold that poor Maria nearly froze on the delivery table!
       11. SHE CAME IN JUST AS THEY HAD FINISHED ONE DELIVERY & were airing the place out, mopping the floors. Everything's wide open in Mid-Winter down there, & it was cold! She was practically shivering on the delivery table! We finally got a blanket & I think put some socks on her or something & tried to get her warmed up.
       12. BUT DAVID'S FIRST REACTION WAS REALLY QUITE PEACEFUL, HE WAS JUST LOOKING AROUND. I'll tell'm in case you can't remember it. He didn't cry until they doused him with that cold water, & then he really yelled! And I'll never forget, I came rushing in! I'd already seen him once but when I heard him let out that blood-curdling howl I thought, "What in the World? Did they drop him or something?!"--And I rushed in there & there was Rachel & a nurse dousing him with cold water & washing him. I said, "What's the matter? What's the matter?" They said, "We're just washing him up!"
       13. WE WERE LIVING IN SPAIN & SO USED TO TALKING SPANISH TO THEM, I looked at the poor little fellow & said, "Pobre chico! Tiene mucho frio?" Just automatically talked to him in Spanish he looked so Spanish! "Poor little boy, are you very cold?" And he was, poor fellow! But soon he was tucked safely in Mama's arms again & he was very happy, & pretty soon he was in his little cradle & also very happy. And I remember he just lay there looking around for the longest time, never went to sleep for three whole hours! Poor Mama! She was tireder than he was!
       14. WELL, ACTUALLY YOU FIRST MET YOUR MOTHER FROM AN ANGLE THAT MOST PEOPLE CAN'T ENJOY, FROM INSIDE HER TUMMY! That's where you first met her. You had a close fellowship that no one else will ever enjoy, that I know of, except you & Techi. For nine months you were inside of Mama!
       15. CAN YOU REMEMBER YOUR FIRST MEMORY OF YOUR MOTHER AT ALL? If you think back a long time ago, can you remember Tenerife & the house there & the swimming pool & things like that? (Sara: Remember Casa Trebol with the little red car?) Can you remember Mama there at all? I bet you remember Sara. Well, think about it. (David: I remember it by pictures.) Mostly by pictures, that's pretty good. (Sara: And he's seen the films too.)
       16. WELL, WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR MOTHER, ANYWAY? (David: That she's very sweet.) Very sweet! That's about the nicest thing you could have said, that's right. I don't suppose you can remember the first time you can remember her? I don't know why I have such a memory for when I was a baby, I can even remember the house I was born in! Although I never got to go in it again, I can remember the house & its arrangement & everything!
       17. YEARS LATER WE CAME BACK THERE WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER & IT WAS OCCUPIED BY SOMEBODY ELSE & I got to see it from the outside, but I could still remember what it was like inside! That's rather unusual. I guess the Lord just gave me an unusually good memory for things like that so I would remember a lot of things that you needed to know. Not necessarily how to be a baby, but "You Gotta Be a Baby"!--The song says so, right?
       18. DO YOU WANT TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT YOUR MOTHER ON HER BIRTHDAY? (David: She's a very good Queen!) Now that's a mouthful! That's almost the best thing he could have said. He knows she's a good mother, but she's an especially good Queen who takes good care of her people, God bless her. Well, I don't want to take too long with each one of these--how about you, Son?
       19. (JOHN: THE FIRST TIME I MET MARIA WAS IN SOUTH AFRICA & I was in Alfred & Sara's room all by myself. I had met everybody else except you & Maria. I was in there working away & they said never open the door unless you know who it is & unless it was a special knock, & I heard the doorbell ring. So I walked toward the door & it looked just like one of the girls & I thought, "That's funny that they just rang like that."
       20. (BUT ANYWAY, I JUST OPENED THE DOOR & THERE SHE STOOD & she said: "This is your first test, why did you open the door?") (Maria: You should have said to me, "Why did you ring the doorbell!") (John: She walked in & she was talking a mile a minute! She was going real fast & I could hardly keep up with everything she was saying, I was just looking at her. I was so amazed just to see her for the first time!)
       21. YOU ALL KNOW THAT RULE, DON'T YOU? We are amazed in these movies we've seen about how many people go to their doors with no peephole, no little grill, no way of knowing who's on the other side, even in strange hotels & whatnot, & there's a knock at the door or a ring & they just go to the door & open the door! Maybe it's just in movies, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's the way some do in normal life.
       22. I'LL TELL YOU, WE'VE TAUGHT OUR FAMILY BETTER THAN THAT FOR YEARS: YOU NEVER OPEN A DOOR, ESPECIALLY AN OUTSIDE DOOR, UNLESS YOU KNOW WHO'S ON THE OTHER SIDE! And it's a good idea to be able to peek. And in hotels where they have chains on the doors, we have taught them to not only give it the audio check, that they happen to make the same knock, because anybody could copy that knock. And it's not even enough to hear their voice, somebody might even imitate somebody's voice.
       23. BESIDES THAT, UNLESS YOU SEE THEM, HOW ARE YOU GOING TO KNOW THERE'S NOT SOMEBODY BEHIND THEM WITH A PISTOL IN THEIR BACK just making them knock & getting you to open the door? Well, we hope that never happens & we don't expect it to happen, but the only way to be sure there's not somebody else with'm or standing right beside them or hiding behind them is to take a little peek & see. And keep the chain on till you do & never open the door or take the chain off until after you're sure who's there. Amen? (Family: Amen!) That's true anywhere you are.
       24. I SHOULD THINK ANYBODY IN THE WORLD WOULD HAVE THAT MUCH SENSE, even if they're not in such dangerous business as us & don't have as many enemies. Everybody's got some enemies, especially in countries like this! Everybody has got somebody who wants something that you've got & may want to come in & get it! So it pays. OK Son, I'm sorry, but you just reminded me of that little lecture that I should have told them.
       25. (JOHN: SO SHE SAID, "WHY DID YOU OPEN THE DOOR?" I'd seen you, Dad, on video, so to see you again wasn't as much of a surprise as it was to see Maria, because I had so many ideas of the way she'd look. So for the first five or ten minutes I just looked at her & just stared.) You'd only seen her from the neck down!
       26. I DON'T THINK VERY MANY OF THE FAMILY REALISE HOW MANY OF THEM HAVE SEEN HER FROM THE NECK DOWN! (Maria: On one of the videos you say, "That was the Queen of Love.") But on most of them it was never announced who was dancing. You probably saw many of those "Garden of Eden" dances performed by her that you didn't even know it was she! But did you recognise her from the neck down? Well, it was pretty cold in South Africa. (Maria: I probably had on two robes & all my sweaters!)
       27. (JOHN: SO SHE SAID, "WHY DID YOU OPEN THE DOOR?") (Maria: I was really just curious!) (John: They had glass doors there with a design on them so you couldn't see through like a window, & I said, "You looked just like Sue so I opened the door!") You could see the outline but you couldn't see her very well.
       28. (JOHN: SO THEN SHE STARTED EXCUSING ME. She said, "Oh well," & for a couple minutes she excused me.) (Maria: Poor John, I felt so sorry for him!) Dear John, sweet faithful John! (John: Then she sat down & she started giving me my first assignment. She was talking really fast & I was trying to keep up! I mean, I was just sitting there looking at her!) You were probably still in a state of shock! (John: Right! I was just looking at her amazed! So that was my first time that I met her.)
       29. (MARIA: I DON'T LIKE FORMAL INTRODUCTIONS SO I LIKE TO RUN IN WHEN YOU'RE IN BED!) I'm expecting to hear something juicy! If I don't, I'll be disappointed! (Maria: Honey, on the first meeting I don't attack them!) [DELETED]
       30. [DELETED] I'm just teasing! (Sara: The boys would rave about the experience but they would never tell you how scared they really felt!) No, you don't have to tell that.
       31. (JOHN: BUT THAT'S ONE THING I REMEMBER FROM THE FIRST DAY, THAT I STILL REMEMBER HER FOR, HOW SHE EXCUSED MY MISTAKE.) Real love! (Maria: I make so many of my own I have to excuse you!) PTL! (John: And I have to agree with David & everything he said: That she's very sweet & she's a great Queen.) (Maria: TTL!) Pearl?
       32. (PEARL: WELL, I THINK MY FIRST IMPRESSION WAS FROM THE LETTERS. The Letters express it so well, it's just like meeting her in person. Like from the Letter "Paper Power" (303A), that was really impressive, how she will try to do everything possible to help you start your work.) That little cartoon really is so true!--Ha!--All the things I can think of to do before I start work. I still do it! But she always manages to wangle some way to get my work where I can see it to gently remind me. (Pearl: That was my impression even recently because she still does that all the time, making sure you have everything you need & that we're all quiet & helping you do your best.
       33. (AND THE SECOND IMPRESSION WAS ON THE TAPE "MY LOVE IS THE WILD WIND" WHERE MARIA WAS QUOTING THAT FIRST INTRODUCTORY PART, & her voice was just like the Holy Spirit. Dad is like the Lord to us, & you kind of represent the Holy Spirit, always gentle & wooing & tender & everything, & it was really touching.) Was that on a tape? (Pearl: A very old tape, 1972 or something. I think it's one of the first tapes where you read "Mountin' Maid" on it. I think that was the first time I heard your voice on tape: "MO's Love Tape."
       34. (AND ALSO ESPECIALLY THE LETTER "WOMEN WITH MORE MERCY THAN GOD" (No.583), because the Holy Spirit, just like any Queen, always intercedes for her sheep. The great compassion & love that the Queen has for her sheep to intercede for them, with so much love & patience, more than the father sometimes.) Has your opinion changed any now for the better or for the worse?
       35. (PEARL: IT'S LIKE THAT SONG, "EVERYDAY WITH JESUS IS SWEETER THAN THE DAY BEFORE"--SHE'S SWEETER!) (Maria: Pearl writes me notes: "To my sunshine!") Ah, isn't that sweet? PTL! Not only the men are in love with her, the women are too! TTL! Now don't you boys get any ideas! Well, I'm glad you love me anyhow!
       36. I THINK PEARL IS GOING TO MAKE A REAL WOMAN PREACHER, SHE SPEAKS WELL! Preaches a good prayer too! GBY! She sends me beautiful notes, she's a good writer too. Not only typing my stuff, the Lord's stuff, but she's good at it. The Lord's really going to use you, I think, along that line, if you're faithful with His Words. PTL! Is that all? Anything else?
       37. WHAT ABOUT THE VERY FIRST PERSONAL MEETING? (Pearl: That was at the airport.) She was carrying my personal great big shortwave radio, bless her heart, had to carry it right on the plane with her. Here comes this tall beautiful stately queenly woman walking out of the plane, & of all things, I was dumbfounded, poor girl, there she's carrying my radio right in her hand! Ha!
       38. WE HADN'T EVEN PLANNED TO GO TO MEET HER, but for some reason or other I had a last-minute inspiration to go along, didn't I? I still wasn't planning necessarily to see her face-to-face, but we sort of hung around & spied on her & peeked at her till finally I just couldn't resist. We came & sat down over in the lounge near where she was waiting to claim her baggage. I set the stage, you go ahead, Pearl!
       39. (PEARL: I WAS STANDING WITH PETER & I TURNED AROUND & SHE HAD THIS CAPE! I didn't bring along any coat or wrap & I didn't know exactly what the weather was, so I asked beforehand that if it's a little bit cool if someone can bring something along. So I turned around & there she was! She just tapped me on the shoulder just like a little angel or something, like Techi, & she had this cape. It was a really heavy impression!
       40. (IT WAS JUST LIKE "HE THAT IS GREATEST AMONG YOU SHALL BE SERVANT OF ALL." (Mt.23:11) Here was the greatest servant of all bringing me a cape.) Almost like she was casting her mantle upon you! PTL! Hallelujah! (Pearl: I'll never forget that!) And so what was your impression? That was it? (Pearl: Yes.) Has it changed any? (Pearl: No, it's just even so much more wonderful! After that I didn't see you so much, so that was like my very first impression for about three months because we were living in apartments, & maybe on Communion nights we'd see you. (Maria: We'd pop in and out.) (Pearl: Every once in awhile. She's always so willing to lay her life down on the altar of sacrifice that others may live, it's just constant everyday, she's such a good sample.) That she does. Amen. James?
       41. (JAMES: WELL, THE FIRST TIME I MET HER WAS THE FIRST TIME I MET YOU, & it was at a meeting where you called the Family together from a neighbouring Home. So I was a little nervous, I guess, a little flustered.
       42. (YOU WERE DOING A LITTLE CHECKUP ON EVERYONE, asking if we had been abiding by all the local Family rules, & asking for a show of hands from everybody. Well, on some points we had not been able to, due to certain circumstances, so when our Home members put up their hands, I thought, "Oh no! This is going to be our first meeting! Oh no! Here goes nothing!" But right away Maria piped up from across the room she had read our reports & that due to some special cases in our Home we were to be excused.)
       43. SHE ALWAYS GOES TO YOUR DEFENCE! There is one woman & one mediator between me & you, or between me & your problem, & that is the woman Maria. You'll always find her your advocate & your apologiser & your defender, always coming to your defence & to apologise & spare you. Some of you have not gotten bawlings out sometimes that you might have deserved--I'd better not look at anybody right now--which she persuaded me not to give you because you had already repented & were sorry, etc.
       44. (JAMES: THAT TO ME WAS REALLY A BIG FIRST IMPRESSION. She'd never even talked to us, & for all I knew you had a lot of other things to do besides worry about us! But she knew the whole situation, I was just completely flabbergasted!)
       45. THAT'S WHY SHE'S THE QUEEN, SON, SHE KNOWS EVERY SITUATION, EVERYBODY! She knows all the personnel, she knows everybody much more than I do! She is the one who knows you people the best, the jobs best, she knows everything about you. She'll have more contact with you, as well, whereas I have to keep more in contact with the Lord in order to do my job.
       46. SO IN A SENSE, I'M YOUR MOSES & SHE'S MY AARON, PTL! Did you ever notice how Aaron was always defending the people & excusing the people, apologising for the people? He was Moses' spokesman. But he was also the spokesman for the people to Moses. So she has really been our Aaron. God bless her! Aaron was like that, he was really the custodian of the Words. Moses said that he couldn't talk to the people, so the Lord said He'd send somebody who could. (Ex.4:16)
       47. AND SHE NOT ONLY TALKS TO YOU BUT SHE WAS THE FIRST ONE TO WRITE TO YOU! She was the one who wrote all the Letters by hand on her little typewriter, tiny little Brother portable, wasn't even electric! She wrote on that typewriter for at least the entire first year of the Letters. We didn't have an electric typewriter on our first trip to Europe at all, not until we went back to the States many months later. I can remember that Jeth brought our first electric up to Oklahoma where we were, to the Cruiser.
       48. SO SHE'S THE ONE THAT TOOK CARE OF THE WORDS, & SHE WAS IN A SENSE MY SPOKESMAN TO YOU THROUGH HER TYPING all those many many years. Even after we got the electric typewriter she was still the one that did the typing. It's your birthday, Honey, so I'm allowed to talk about you! I don't think we had another typist to type for us until when? Can you remember who? Not in Oklahoma. And then from Oklahoma we went back to London, there in Downham, & she still did all the typing. When did we first have a secretary start doing the typing?--Sally! Sally was our first secretary that we had that she would trust the tapes to at all.
       49. THAT'S WHEN WE ALSO FIRST STARTED HAVING TAPES. Up to that time she had taken every word down in shorthand, whether it was dictation or revelations or murmurings in the middle of the night or dear old wizard peeping & muttering in his beard, she took it down. And it's amazing to me!
       50. I THINK SHE REALLY HAS THE GIFT OF INTERPRETATION, because sometimes I'd listen to some of those tapes & I couldn't even understand what I said myself! But she could understand it. So I'm sure the Lord really gave her the gift of interpretation to understand.
       51. ESPECIALLY IN THE EARLY DAYS OF ABRAHIM WHEN HIS ACCENT WAS SO THICK & SO DIFFICULT! His English was atrocious! Even the interpretations were with a strong accent. Even though I got the original message in tongues, then he would try to interpret it. And I'll tell you, you've read some of them, haven't you? They were pretty rough! Well, they were even rougher before we interpreted them & polished them up! But the Lord really gave her the gift of interpretation to understand a lot of those things which were said.
       52. AND SHE WAS STILL DOING IT IN SHORTHAND WITHOUT A TAPE RECORDER! What was her first tape recorder? I think in Downham, when you guys were in Bromley. We had a little cottage there, paid 17 pounds a week for it! Pretty cheap, huh? Something like 35 or 40 dollars. I remember the rent worked out to something around 80 pounds a month. And before that we paid even cheaper rent, rented rooms in old rickety rooming houses & places like that.
       53. BUT SHE DID ALL THOSE FIRST LETTERS IN SHORTHAND, DICTATION, PARTICULARLY THE REVELATIONS DURING THE NIGHT. When I'd wake up in the morning I couldn't even remember that anything had happened! And if she hadn't put it all down in shorthand you never would have gotten it & none of us would have ever known! Thank God she did, because I often would wake up in the morning & not even know that anything had happened. But then she'd start pumping me a little bit & giving me a little clue--she'd often want to know that way--deliberately not telling me to see if I could remember!
       54. SHE'D SAY, "REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?" I'd say, "What? Nothing happened, I had a good night's sleep!" I got some of the most beautiful prophecies I ever got in the middle of the night & I didn't know, I was totally unconscious! I guess that's the only way the Lord could get through to me is when I was unconscious!
       55. BUT SHE GOT ALL THAT DOWN, TTL, OR YOU NEVER WOULD HAVE HAD IT! Especially in those early days & in shorthand, & often in the dark! She still writes notes at night in the dark. She'll pick up her little pen or pencil always right there beside the bed or even under her pillow.
       56. SHE IS THE MOST FAITHFUL PERSON TO KEEP NOTES OF ANYBODY I KNOW OF! Even when she's half asleep she'll pick up her pen & write down something she thought about & didn't want to forget in the middle of the night. And she can do it in the pitch dark! She doesn't even look at the pad, she just picks up the pen & writes.
       57. (MARIA: THE SECRET IS YOU HAVE TO SPACE'M BY FEEL! You have to go far enough down the pad to make sure you're not running into the line you just wrote! So my shorthand tablets sometimes had only about 4 or 5 lines on a page. Because especially in shorthand or the other way too, once you get one line on top of the other it's almost impossible to figure it out!) She wrote many of those things in the dark that way.
       58. SHE MAKES IT SOUND SIMPLE, BUT YOU TRY IT! You girls that know shorthand, just try taking shorthand notes in the dark that way--even if you try to make sure you're further away & you're not running over the last line. I mean, if you do that then you've ruined two lines, so you can imagine how difficult that would be.
       59. I TOLD YOU THE STORY OF HOW MY FATHER ACCIDENTALLY DID THAT WHEN HE WAS TYPING HIS SONGS ON THE TRAIN, got up to sing & didn't notice he'd typed two lines one on top of the other, two lines lost! But show business, you know, you can't stop the show, he just went on singing! Mother asked him afterwards: "Daddy, were you singing in tongues? I didn't recognise some of those words!"--Ha!
       60. I'LL TELL YOU, SHE'S A GENIUS! If it hadn't been for Maria, none of us would be here. So anyhow, I was trying to think of where we got our first tape recorder. I think it was at Downham. (Maria: Are you sure it wasn't in Tenerife?) Maybe you're right, Tenerife, 1974.
       61. I CAN REMEMBER THE FIRST TAPE I MADE FOR YOU! They gave us a little tiny tape recorder--it was small then--that we took with us. I think Ho gave it to us on that first trip. Does anybody know the first tape I ever made? (Family: "Follow God"?) No. (Family: "God's Little Miracles"?) That's another good one, but it wasn't the first one. (James: "Mountain Men"?) No. That was much much earlier--but it was taped!
       62. DID YOU KNOW ON THE TAPE "MOUNTAIN MEN!" that after that little class was done & the people were gone, we looked down at the tape recorder & discovered we had not pushed the record button? And our hearts sank, her heart sank, she just was ready to almost faint! But then she had the inspiration to run it back a little bit & just see, & it had recorded!
       63. YOU TALK ABOUT MIRACLES, IT HAD RECORDED THE WHOLE THING WITHOUT THE RECORD BUTTON! That's just about as good as that "Miracle Motor" story! I mean, you never had a tape recorder that did that! I didn't either! And it never happened again either! I think it taught us a lesson to where we were so scared by it that we never let it happen again! But once in awhile I have failed to push the right button & lost a little, but usually I've been able to recoup it.
       64. BUT THE NEXT TAPE WE EVER ACTUALLY MADE, AS I RECALL, WAS IN OUR HOTEL ROOM IN ROME VIRTUALLY IN THE DARK: "DIAMONDS OF DUST!" As I recall, that was the first one we ever made, because we didn't make those other ones till we got back to Paris & made "Follow God!" & "God's Little Miracles!" I may be wrong, but that's my recollection. So those were some of the first tapes, we did make a few tapes back then & we did have a tape recorder.
       65. BUT WHY DIDN'T WE DO RECORDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT? I don't know, she just always grabbed her pad & wrote it down. That was the surest way for sure. In fact, we've been sadly disappointed sometimes when the tape recorder didn't work in the middle of the night, because we grabbed it & maybe the batteries were low or something.
       66. BUT IF IT WASN'T A MIDNIGHT REVELATION OR SOMETHING WHEN I WAS UNCONSCIOUS, I WAS NORMALLY TEACHING & DICTATING & she preferred to take it not even in shorthand but directly on the typewriter, she could type so fast! She could type just as fast as I could dictate, in fact, faster! So she took much of that early dictation both in Israel & in Cyprus & from then on, & clear on down until I think we got to Tenerife.
       67. BUT THERE WERE SOME TAPES, AS I RECALL, WE GAVE TO SALLY. Wasn't it London? Those were the first ones that we trusted Sally with to transcribe & the first time Maria was relieved of some typing. (Maria: But those were tapes with me reading onto them.) Yes, they weren't the originals yet. And then by the time we got to Tenerife in '74, I think by that time you'd really begun to use a tape recorder.
       68. (PEARL: YOU MENTIONED IN ONE OF THE OLD LETTERS THAT JOSH OR SOMEONE HAD GIVEN YOU A TAPE RECORDER, & you mentioned that they'd just run for one sitting & the batteries would run out.) Yes, in those days the tape recorder would only run about an hour or two & the batteries were flat. So we got pretty disgusted with tape recorders, that they were not reliable, & that's why she insisted on taking it either in shorthand or straight on the typewriter. And at night she wouldn't trust tape recorders at all.
       69. AND EVEN STILL IF IT'S SOMETHING IN THE NIGHT, YOU NORMALLY TAKE IT DOWN IN SHORTHAND, DON'T YOU? Sometimes if she's sure of the tape recorder she'll use the tape recorder, but she doesn't trust tape recorders too much because we had a few losses that way which, thank God, she was able to recoup by shorthand. Therefore she is sure of her shorthand, whereas we weren't always sure about the tape recorder.
       70. BUT I THINK WE BEGAN USING TAPE RECORDERS MORE IN TENERIFE. And then, of course, after that we could pass the tape recordings onto Sally for transcription, which relieved Maria of a lot of the typing. And even then I still dictated a lot of the Letters & talks to her that she took in shorthand. (Maria: In Tenerife we did all those Royal Family Newsletters.) It all went straight on the typewriter. I even typed one of them myself, remember? My first experience with an electric typewriter & I don't think I ever tried it again!
       71. I HAVE A VERY HEAVY HAND & I'M USED TO GOING BANG BANG BANG WITH OLD RATTLETRAPS which you had to really slam'm to make'm print! And I never had any trouble with cutting stencils because I had a heavy hand. So I'll tell you, that electric typewriter nearly gave me a nervous breakdown! I couldn't even rest my fingers on the keys! I think some of you saw. I just left all the mistakes so you could see what a mess I was without her. I think that day she was sick or something, she was pregnant with David, or the doctor was there, so I went ahead.
       72. MIND YOU NOW, THAT WAS 1974 WHEN WE WENT TO TENERIFE, & I'd say it wasn't really until we got to the first apartment, the Cliffhouse, that we actually began to use tape recorders that much at all. (Maria: Then that was when we had Sally & Justus come down, pretty soon after that.) And eventually, about the time we got to Casa Trebol where we lived for nearly two years, that's when she began to see the workload was too much, she couldn't handle it all herself & began using tape recorders, which made it possible then for us to use a transcriber & another secretary.
       73. THAT WAS THE MIDDLE OF 1975 AT CASA TREBOL, AFTER DAVID WAS BORN, BEFORE WE BEGAN TO REALLY USE TAPE RECORDERS & OTHER TYPISTS. Can you imagine? That was five years, almost six years. We began writing Letters in the Fall of 1970 & it wasn't until the middle of 1975 that she really began to regularly use tape recorders & get someone else to type'm, & it began to take the load off of her hands personally.
       74. WHEN WE RECORDED THAT FIRST TALK THAT WAS EVER RECORDED ON A TAPE RECORDER--WHICH WAS "MOUNTAIN MEN"--I was sitting in the Cruiser with the little Family just talking to them & for some reason we happened to have a tape recorder & she pressed the button. But it shows you how unfamiliar we were with tape recorders, she failed to press the record button at the same time--you had to press two buttons--& only the Lord saved it.
       75. BUT I'LL TELL YOU, THAT TALK WAS REALLY THE BEGINNING OF IT ALL, OF ALL THE LETTERS! Actually the first one ever recorded was "Mountain Men." (ML No.B) (Maria: Except the ones like "The Whispering Vision" & those which you recorded before.) Yes, revived from past history. But I can't think of any others besides "Whispering Vision." (John: Bible in Pictures?) Yes. (Maria: There are others too.) Yes, well there were tapes of me spouting off at the Club or TSC; the guys who were running tape recorders did get a few of those, so you may have gotten a few of those old talks, or parts of them anyhow.
       76. THAT'S THE FIRST TIME I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT & TRIED TO PIN IT DOWN, just when it was that she finally gave over the task of recording to tape recorders & transcribers, other typists. It was not for nearly six years! At least the first five years she did all the recording without tape recorders mostly, & all the typing. She virtually did all the typing alone for five years, how about that? That's a long time to do it all in shorthand or on a typewriter!
       77. SO THERE WASN'T A WORD, NOT A LETTER THAT GOT TO YOU THAT SHE HAD NOT TYPED WITH HER OWN LITTLE HANDS FOR THE FIRST FIVE YEARS, even if she had recorded some on the tape recorder! Most of them went through both, she wrote it down in shorthand first & then transcribed it afterward on the typewriter. So they'd go through her hands twice before they even got to my hands for proofreading.
       78. SO THERE'S THE GAL THAT DID ALL THE WORK WHILE I HAD ALL THE FUN! There would have been nothing without her! (Maria: But as I always tell him, if it hadn't been me, it would have been somebody else.) It couldn't have been anybody but you, Honey. If she hadn't a been'r, who'd a been'r? It couldn't have been anybody else, it had to be her!
       79. I WAS FIGURING OUT THE OTHER NIGHT ABOUT WHEN I ORDERED HER & ABOUT THE TIME SHE WAS CONCEIVED & where I was & when it happened, & that's an interesting story too. I don't have time to tell you tonight but maybe during this birthday week I might tell you a little more about it. I got on to that thinking about when did she stop doing the actual typing herself, it was after five years, & she still does most of the recording, making sure the tape recorder is where it can be used or where it's picking it up, night or day.
       80. SHE REMINDS ME OF THE SCRIPTURE, SHE DOESN'T LET ONE WORD FALL TO THE GROUND (1Sa.3:19)--unless the tape recorder drops off the table! But anyway, she's just about as faithful as you can get with the Words. I don't think she's ever missed one that I know of, & that's why you've got me & that's why you've got you & that's why you've got the Lord & the Family, because of her!
       81. IN FACT, IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR HER, I WOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE! I would have been nothing, because I didn't know I was going to be anything at all. I was nothing already, absolutely nothing!--So much nothing my first wife virtually forsook me because I was such a flop & a failure. It took her faith to have faith in me--& in the Lord, of course, most of all--that the Lord was going to use me & was using me & could use me! So He did! So I believe it, PTL!
       82. IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR HER & HER FAITH I DON'T THINK I COULD HAVE HAD FAITH IN MYSELF or even in the Lord that He could use me. But it took her faith, this little handmaiden to have the faith to believe it & help me to believe it. Think of that!
       83. THERE ARE A LOT OF STORIES IN THE BIBLE ABOUT THE LITTLE PEOPLE, seemingly unimportant little nobodies that were used in great things. Like the little boy & his five loaves & fishes, or the little girl who told Naaman's wife that there was a prophet in Israel that could heal him. All kinds of little people through the Bible in all the stories that God used--just like He's using you! PTL!
       84. WE WERE ALL LITTLE PEOPLE BEFORE THE LORD BEGAN TO USE US, AMEN? We were all nothing! And if you hadn't been, you wouldn't be here, because God doesn't use anybody who thinks they're something. He just uses nobodies & nothings that He makes something out of, but I don't have to tell you "Holy Holes" again, PTL? Hallelujah! (See No.237.)
       85. I'M SORRY TO TAKE SO LONG, BUT THAT'S THE FACTS, THAT'S THE TRUTH! She said, "If you want to give me a birthday present, then dismiss at 9:30 so that I can see something I want to see." (Maria: Well, that was an excuse. I told him if he was willing to make the speeches then we don't have to dismiss early!) Well, it's just 9:30, I'm right on the button. We can save the rest of these for tomorrow night!
       86. WE CAN CELEBRATE HER BIRTHDAY ALL WEEK LONG! The new week just began tonight after sunset, that's the Jewish way of starting the day; the Jewish day begins at sunset, sunset to sunset. So it's already Sunday as far as the Jews are concerned & Sunday's our first day of the week, so we can have birthday all week long. (Maria: But we've been celebrating it all week already!) Well, we can celebrate it another week, can't we?
       87. WE HAVEN'T CELEBRATED TOO MUCH YET, WE'VE GOT TO REALLY GET THE BALL ROLLING & REALLY CELEBRATE! We'll have to have a dance one night! I was thinking about having one tonight but we haven't had time. But she said, "If you love me & you want me to be happy & give me a birthday present, let me see the rest of that movie that I want to see." (Maria: It's too late now. Let's get it over with tonight!) Of course, she said, that was just an excuse to try to get out of her birthday celebration.
       88. I MENTIONED TO HER THEN: I KNOW THERE'S ONE THING YOU'D RATHER HAVE FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY THAN ANYTHING ELSE, & somebody already said it, I think, didn't they?--The Word, or another Letter!--And I think we've already had it, haven't we? PTL? At least the first chapter. Maybe we'll get another chapter tomorrow night from you, & maybe from me too. (Maria: Thank you very much! It's not that I don't appreciate all those beautiful things you said about me, it's just that it doesn't really sound like me you're talking about!)
       89. WELL, SINCE THE BIRTHDAY'S GOING TO LAST ALL WEEK, BOYS, YOU'LL HAVE ANOTHER CHANCE! I mean, folks! PTL. Let's hold hands & pray, shall we? PTL! Okay, Maria, we'll have your Scripture & your prayer, your speech & all those other things in the rest of the week, God willing. You've got six more nights to go to make it seven.
       90. AMEN! PTL! HALLELUJAH! TYJ! THANK YOU FOR THOSE FRUITFUL YEARS, LORD! Though they were in some ways hard & quite a struggle & a lot of work, Lord, they have certainly been proven to be of Thee & fruitful & accomplished Thy purpose. We stand back & marvel at what You've done, Lord, through this, Thy humble handmaiden.
       91. SURELY SHE HAS FULFILLED THE PROPHECY THAT YOU FIRST GAVE US FOR HER, received through her prayer in tongues, Lord, & the interpretation which You gave us: The Magnificat! The wonderful praise straight from the Scripture that Elisabeth gave of Mary & the "Hail Mary full of grace," etc. The beautiful prophecy that You had exalted the maiden of low degree & had honoured Thy handmaiden & had greatly exalted her above all women. (See Luke 1:42-55.)
       92. AND SURELY YOU HAVE DONE THAT, LORD, & THE PROPHECY HAS COME TRUE--EVERY BIT OF IT! Even though it sounded like too much that afternoon, Lord, as we lay together on the back bed of our Camper praying. She was praying in tongues & we got the interpretation & that beautiful prophecy, Lord. We thank You, Lord! It's certainly been fulfilled & every word come true, unless there's some more, & we're sure there must be more that is going to come to pass before her work is finished.
       93. SO WE THANK YOU, LORD, FOR OUR MARIA! We thank You, Lord, for how You have used this humble handmaiden of Thine & highly exalted her from her low estate & made her surely blessed amongst women, above all women, in the tremendous job that You've given her to do, custodian of Thy Words, Lord, faithful keeper of the jewels that Thou hast given!
       94. WE THANK YOU, LORD, FOR HOW FAITHFUL SHE'S BEEN, not only in taking good care of the Words, but also the Worder, & has never failed to shield us & keep us & cherish us & nourish us & protect us & strengthen us & advise & counsel us, encourage us. In every way, Lord, she has been a helpmeet to us & to our meat, & most of all to our spirit, Lord, that she has inspired & encouraged & given faith & hope & so much love. Hallelujah! TYL! PYJ! TYJ!
       95. WE THANK YOU FOR HER, LORD, & WE THANK THEE FOR THE GREAT HELP SHE'S BEEN ALL THESE YEARS & STILL IS. We still couldn't do without her, Lord, as she has not only developed from such a lowly place & been so highly exalted to treasure Thy Words & Worder, Lord, but now is being such a faithful administrator in governing Thy people, a Queen, Lord, over Thy children, ruling & reigning humbly with great care & concern for all of them near & far around the World, Lord, here & there, everywhere, always concerned, reading all their mail & concerned about their welfare & always making notations of who needs help & who needs questions answered, & constantly, Lord, interceding for them, constantly pleading for them & for the ear of the King that he shall help them in some way or decide a problem in some way that involves them, Lord.
       96. WE ASK THEE THAT THOU SHALT CONTINUE TO GIVE HER STRENGTH & WISDOM as she not merely rules as a Queen, but more often hovers over them as a Mother & cares for them, weeps for them, prays for them & intercedes for them, like even the Catholics believe of Mary, Thy Mother, as an intercessor between them & Thee, Lord. We believe that she no doubt does in many cases. Even though they can go directly to Thee, some have not the faith for it & they pray for her intercession, Lord, & we believe the saints can intercede. We believe they do pray for us & that we have a great cloud of witnesses that are watching & praying for us, interceding for us, even as Thy angels also intercede, & Thy saints, Lord. We thank You for every one of them.
       97. AND FOR HER, FOR HER PEOPLE, LORD, THY PEOPLE, THESE THY CHILDREN THROUGHOUT THE WORLD, that she's been such a faithful intercessor, Mother & a faithful Queen as she helps to govern Thy Kingdom & does all the multitude of innumerable things, Lord, which we cannot do, both great & small, & which we could not possibly have the strength for nor the time for, the burden that she takes from our shoulders, Lord, & bears herself with Thy help.
       98. WE THANK YOU FOR HER WHO HAS MADE ALL OF THIS POSSIBLE THROUGH THY POWER, Thy strength, Thy grace, Thy Love, Thy anointing, Lord, Thy mantle upon her shoulders that Thou hast given her, the job that Thou hast given her & her alone to do.
       99. AND YET WE THANK THEE FOR THE MANY HELPERS THAT YOU'VE GIVEN HER AS WELL THAT HELP LIGHTEN HER BURDEN, Lord, & help to share it & help to carry it & help her with the care of so many others--both the children & me & our workers & our Family, Lord, & our Family & friends around the World, Lord, so many of the helpers that You've now given, so many more secretaries & stenographers & printers & those who help with recording & all of these things, Lord, so many burdens that she used to bear alone.
       100. BUT NOW AS THE BURDEN HAS GROWN, & GROWN BEYOND HER HUMAN CAPABILITIES, LORD, You have given her so many helpers & so many means of help, even the inventions of these tape recorders & transcribers & computers & all these things which make our task easier & faster & surer. TYL for all of these helpers & instruments of help which have helped to lighten her load & mine as well. But mostly hers, Lord, because this was her job, this was her calling & this was her task as she has faithfully performed it, Lord, & never failed that we know of. TYJ! PYL! Hallelujah!
       101. NOT ONE OF US WOULD BE HERE TODAY IF IT HAD NOT BEEN FOR HER & how You used her & the anointing You gave her, & the diligence & the hard work & faithfulness. Surely You will say to her, "Well done thou good & faithful handmaiden, enter thou into the joy of thy Lord!" (Mt.25:21) And surely You're already saying that to her really, Lord, because she's already enjoying the fruits of her labours & our Heavenly Homes on Earth & the Heaven of our Family, Lord, throughout the World, & all that it is accomplishing & the souls that are being won.
       102. THIS IS THE PAYOFF, LORD! This is the thrilling reward of the fruit that has been borne already & that we can already enjoy & we're already entering into the joy of our Lord--You, Jesus--who have done it all & just simply used us as Thy tools & Thy instruments. TYL! Hallelujah!
       103. BLESS HER, LORD, & GIVE HER A WONDERFUL FRUITFUL THRILLING ENCOURAGING INSPIRING NEW YEAR!--And many more of them until You come, Lord, in Jesus' name! Give her the strength for it, Lord. She who is weak in body often, You promised her, Lord, that You would give her strength for her day. "As thy days, so shall thy strength be!" (Deut.33:25) And "When I am weak, then I am strong; for my strength is made perfect in weakness!" (2Co.12:9,10) Surely she has lived those verses & You have fulfilled Your promises to her.
       104. WEAK & FRAIL AS SHE IS, LORD, YOU HAVE GIVEN HER SUPERNATURAL STRENGTH & WISDOM & POWER FROM ON HIGH TO DO THE JOB! We thank You, Lord! You've never failed her in one of all Your good promises. You kept her going all these years in spite of weakness & frailties & sicknesses & pregnancies & childbearing & many afflictions, Lord. You have brought her through still going strong for Thee, Lord, depending on Thy strength, Lord, she has so little of her own. TYJ! PYL! Hallelujah!
       105. SO WE ASK THEE TO GIVE HER STRENGTH FOR THIS YEAR & INSPIRATION & THY DIVINE GUIDANCE & WISDOM in governing Thy Family, & even in taking care of me, Lord, & especially Thy Words. Bless her as she has been responsible for so many of these publications & getting them out so quickly & in such abundance, Lord, during this past year, probably more abundantly this past year than we will ever be able to do in the future. But we know You're going to continue to use her to be the channel, the instrument, the tool for getting Thy Words out to Thy people even long after I'm gone. TYJ! PYL! Hallelujah! In Jesus' name. Amen. TYL! Hallelujah! TYJ! Amen. PYJ! Hallelujah! TYL! TYJ! Amen, amen, amen.
       106. AMEN, WELL THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL VERSE TO GET FOR HER. I don't know what verse the Lord's given her for this year, but I asked the Lord for a verse & something kept coming & I couldn't quite get it. Sometimes I get the rhythm of it before I even get the words, but what a beautiful thought:
       107. "INASMUCH AS YE HAVE DONE IT UNTO THE LEAST OF THESE MY BRETHREN, YE HAVE DONE IT UNTO ME!" (Mt.25:40) (Dad weeps.) Hallelujah! TYJ! PYL! She certainly has done it to a lot of not only the brethren but the sistern & the whole Family & the children. Inasmuch as she has done it unto the least of these, she's done it unto You, Lord. It's all for You, Jesus. It's all her ministration to Thee, Lord. She's Thy Handmaiden, Thy Wife, Thy Bride, Thy Queen! Hallelujah! TYJ! PTL! In Jesus' name. Amen. TYL! PTL! Amen, TYL! Amen, amen, amen.
       108. IS THERE ANYONE ELSE WHO HAS ANYTHING SPECIAL YOU WANTED TO GIVE HER? Anything you've gotten from the Lord for her that just won't keep? That you've got to give it tonight, right now? You're welcome! I'm not the only one the Lord can speak through. PTL!
       109. (TO TECHI:) HONEY, YOU MUST BE TIRED STANDING THERE ALL THIS TIME while Daddy talked so long & prayed such a long prayer. You stood so patient! She never complained, she never let go. That's our little one, our little Queenlet, our little Princess--Techi! She faithfully clung to my hand just like Mama clings to my hand. She won't go anywhere without me, won't let me go anywhere without her. PTL! I'm talking about Mama, & you like to be with Grandpa too. PTL! Hallelujah! TYJ! Amen. PTL! It's wonderful how the Spirit moves even on our children. Hallelujah! TYJ! Amen, amen.
       110. IS THERE ANYTHING YOU HAVE FROM THE LORD THAT YOU WANT TO GIVE FOR MARIA TONIGHT that you can't keep till a later night? We're going to have some more of these nights, Lord willing, amen? I don't think we could possibly just finish off in one week all the things we'd like to tell her, all of our thanks we'd like to give her. And you may get things from the Lord for her, either here or in the quiet of your room as you pray for her.
       111. IF THE LORD GIVES YOU A MESSAGE OR A SCRIPTURE OR A PROPHECY or whatever it may be that the Lord may give you for her for the New Year, I'm sure she will be very happy to hear it & receive it & it'll encourage her. Write it down, amen? That's what she likes, she likes the record! She likes it for the record so that she can put it down & keep it & pass it on, not just for her own sake.
       112. SHE DIDN'T KEEP ALL THESE THINGS JUST FOR HER SAKE, SHE KEPT THEM FOR YOUR SAKE. She was most of all interested in you, & it was for you & her love for you & the Lord that she treasured them & kept them & passed these on to you. It wasn't even for my sake, although it was also, of course, a great help to me, 'cause I couldn't do it--impossible! But it was mostly, of course, for the Lord, the Lord gave her the job, & for your sake. PTL? So if there's anything you want to give now that you can't keep for later, or if you want to write it down later & give it to her on paper, she will really appreciate that.
       113. THAT'S THE WAY MANY OF THE PROPHETS DID, THEY GOT THE PROPHECIES & THEY WROTE'M DOWN, or their scribe wrote'm down, & they weren't even given out until later. They didn't always stand right in front of the crowd prophesying. Jeremiah had his Baruch & the Lord had His recorders who His Spirit brought to mind later after He was gone what He had said, so PTL! Amen! TYJ! PTL!
       114. IS THERE ANYTHING YOU JUST CAN'T HOLD? You're bursting with it, you've gotta give it right now? (Pearl: Wisdom & knowledge shall be the stability of thy times, & strength of salvation, the fear of the Lord is her treasure.) (Isa.33:6) Hallelujah! TYJ! Amen! I believe it! PTL! Hallelujah! TYJ!
       115. THE LORD USUALLY USES SCRIPTURE IF HE CAN, IF HE'S GOT ONE ON THE SUBJECT. I've found so much of the things He's given me & so many of the prophecies are just full of Scripture. You notice that in Paul's writings, & the prophecies of the New Testament were just full of the prophecies & the Scriptures of the Old Testament. PTL! TYJ! Anything else?
       116. (ALFRED: AS YOU WERE PRAYING IT WAS LIKE I COULD JUST SEE THE ANGELS ALSO REALLY REJOICING TODAY! I JUST HEARD THEM SINGING A SONG: "AVE AVE AVE MARIA!") Hallelujah! TYJ! PYL! (Weeping & tongues:) "Faithful is this one who has given the Words that she has received from thee, her father! Faithful is this one that has diligently worked with these Words that I have given unto thee, that has been faithful in her rendering unto her people the Words of her father!" Hallelujah! TYJ! PTL! Hallelujah! TYJ! Amen, TYJ! PTL! TYL!
       117. WHAT A NAME FOR HER!--FAITHFUL! She surely has been faithful! I don't know anyone who's ever been so faithful. I can paraphrase that Scripture "though we are faithless, yet He remaineth faithful," for Maria: Though sometimes I've been faithless & discouraged, she has remained faithful, she has never lost faith. (2Ti.2:13) I can never remember a time that she really got discouraged or down or lost hope or faith.
       118. SHE IS THE BRAVEST PERSON I KNOW! I mean it! The bravest person I know. No matter what happens to me, no matter what I do--& I do a lot of crazy things & I've done some stupid things & I've nearly killed myself a few times by my foolishness--she's never lost a step, never missed a beat, never doubted a moment, never failed a day, not an hour. She has plugged right along, sometimes in spite of me!
       119. SO I'LL TELL YOU, WHEN I GET THERE AT THE TABLE & THEY'RE PASSING OUT THE REWARDS, I'm going to recommend that she's the one that deserves the credit for it all, not me. I have the easiest job of all. I was the poorest instrument of all. She was the most faithful, the most diligent, the hardest working!--Never doubted, never gave up, never once quit. And she could have quit lots of times in the face of tremendous opposition from enemies, even family & friends, & sometimes even me!
       120. SHE BELIEVED IN ME IN SPITE OF MYSELF! She believed in the job God gave me to do even when sometimes I wondered or got discouraged or nearly quit & gave up. She just kept right on plugging. You'll just find her every day the same, or better! She just keeps right on going. Isn't she just even-tempered? Her temperature hardly ever changes.
       121. SHE NEVER GETS HOT OR COLD, SHE'S JUST ALWAYS BURNING STEADILY LIKE THOSE LITTLE CANDLES THERE, JUST A STEADY FLAME! It's not very big & flamboyant, she doesn't make a big splash like me, neither does it flicker & flicker out. It just keeps steady, steady, steady. I'll tell you, that's what the Lord just said, faithful! If there's anybody in this Family that's faithfully steady & steadily faithful, she is the steadiest most faithful person I know of! She never quits, she never gives up, she never despairs, she never gets discouraged in spite of everything, she never doubts.
       122. I KNOW THE LORD HAS GIVEN HER THE GIFT OF FAITH, THAT'S FOR SURE, AS WELL AS HER MANY OTHER GIFTS. I've sometimes got booming faith for big things, but then all of a sudden I'll drop down in the valley somewhere & get in a deep depression or something. I'll tell you, the Devil really fights me & he really attacks! He always hits below the belt & kicks me in the weakest spot & tries to get me down. He attacks her too, but I think mostly her body.
       123. THE ONLY THING THAT SHE EVER SEEMS TO GET THE SLIGHTEST BIT DISCOURAGED ABOUT IS HER HEALTH OR HER STRENGTH. She's always worrying about it & sometimes complaining about it & I have had to remind her that she must thank God for the health she does have & praise Him for the strength she does have, & then I'm sure He'll give her more. But the only reason she worries about it is because she wants to make sure she's got enough to do her job. Sometimes she's afraid she's not doing a good job because she has to rest, but I don't know anybody that works more or longer hours than she does, so she deserves every moment of rest she gets! PTL!
       124. WELL, I DIDN'T PLAN TO SAY ALL THAT, BUT THAT'S IT, THAT'S THE TRUTH! She burns a steady flame just like those little candles. She never goes out & she never flickers, never wavers. She doesn't make any big explosions like I do sometimes--I'm either in the heights or the depths, an extremist, you know me--but she is always right there to catch me when I fall or to hold me down to keep me from completely floating off in the clouds!
       125. I WOULD HAVE BEEN GONE MANY A TIME IF SHE HADN'T HUNG ON! I was just floating away on one of those trips to never come back! But she helped to keep my feet on the ground to keep me from floating off permanently, even if she just hung onto one toe or one finger or one hair, it's been that close sometimes! And praise God, she's also caught me when I've fallen & kept me from falling too hard or too far.
       126. SO IF ANYBODY DESERVES ALL THE CREDIT FOR IT ALL, WHY, THERE SHE IS! Of course, under the Lord. The Lord is the One. He just is the One Who does it all, & He's the One Who deserves all the credit. But as far as human instrumentality is concerned & those of us here who carry on His work & help me to do mine, she's the one who gets the credit. PTL!
       127. AND WHEN I'M GONE, YOU COULDN'T HAVE A BETTER QUEEN, & I'M EXPECTING HER TO BE A TERRIFIC PROPHETESS FOR THE LORD! She doesn't see how she's ever going to do it, she has a hard time believing God for that right now, but I know it! God said so, so I know it! I'm not the slightest bit worried about it. I'm not worried about your love either, because I know you love her & I know that you'll take good care of her & you'll continue to follow God as He speaks through her, which I know He will. PTL?
       128. AND OF COURSE SHE'S GOT OODLES & OODLES OF THINGS GOD HAS ALREADY GIVEN US, STILL IN THE PIPELINE, IN HER GRAINBAGS, which she has yet to get to you, because the Lord always promised that He'd give us more than we were able to contain, & that's what He's done. So I don't know whether we'll still have some in the bag when Jesus comes or not.
       129. MAYBE THAT'S ONE CHANCE SHE'LL HAVE TO GET OUT THE REST OF IT IS AFTER I'M GONE & I'M NOT GETTING ANYMORE!--Ha! Well, I'll be getting plenty more up there, I'm sure, & I wouldn't be surprised I'll maybe be the one that's giving it to her! Why not?! We've made a good team thus far, haven't we? Why shouldn't we continue to be a team after I'm gone? I think the Lord's indicated quite a few times that I'm going to continue to minister to her, whisper in her ear, continue to help her take care of you.
       130. I KNOW THE LORD'S GOING TO CAST HIS MANTLE & THE ANOINTING ON HER WHEN I'M GONE, & she's going to be able to continue to give you the Word & help & lead & guide you. Some of you who work at the top in administration like Peter, you know that's true. You know that she's never failed even sometimes when I've failed. She has stayed true & faithful.
       131. DON'T MISUNDERSTAND A LOT OF THESE THINGS I'M SAYING to mean that I have departed from the Lord or I have lost faith in God or that I have made any great transgressions or disobediences or something. I've just gotten a little down & discouraged sometimes, especially over some failures in our people.
       132. I SHOULDN'T REALLY BLAME MYSELF FOR THAT, but sometimes the Devil accuses me that it was my fault, that I didn't train them well enough or I didn't take care of them well enough or I didn't make'm do it or something, like Rachel & some of them. But let me tell you, people like Deborah, she was a rebel from the time she was born! I could never get her to obey. She was disobedient, rebellious & stubborn, just like her Mother!
       133. WE HAVE TOLD MOTHER EVE I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES NOT TO GO BACK TO THE UNITED STATES, but she's always doing what we tell her not to do. And we told her if she did, we'd take away her little stipend that we give her to live on, which we owe to her as a wife, even an ex-wife that she has made herself. It was not my doing, I didn't send her away.
       134. I DIDN'T PUT HER AWAY, SHE PUT HERSELF AWAY! And I think the people on the inside know that. She did that long before we were eventually finally separated. She was always running off hither, thither & yon with this one & that one & the other one because she wanted to have her ministry, she wanted to do her thing, sorry to say. Well, one good thing came out of that, that I know of at least--Alfred! TTL! And that was worth it all! And through Alfred, Sara! TTL! And our children. PTL!
       135. WELL, ANYHOW, DEBORAH WAS JUST LIKE HER MOTHER & SHE WAS JUST VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE! Her mother & her were just like this, always stuck together just like two sisters rather than mother & daughter, they were so much alike. In fact, Deborah usually ruled over her mother! But Deborah & I were usually at sword's points because she couldn't rule over me. She tried to rule over the other children too, & she was pretty successful with some of them. But there's one she never could rule over, & that was Aaron! He was as stubborn as I am!
       136. IF YOU THINK EVE & DEBORAH WERE STUBBORN, WELL, THEY HAD THEIR MATCHES IN ME & AARON! They were never able to rule over us. They tried, really tried hard, but they couldn't quite make it, & that's why I'm still here, TTL! Well, that's just due to the Lord & the strong will He has given me to do the job. So PTL anyhow, how did I get onto that negative topic? I'm sorry to bring up the negatives once in awhile, but sometimes you have to do that to give you the comparison with the faithful ones.
       137. BUT IT'S BEEN THOSE FEW UNFAITHFUL ONES WHO HAVE REALLY BROKEN MY HEART & DISCOURAGED ME sometimes to make me feel like, well, if that's the kind of fruit I have, I guess I'd better quit. Now isn't that a lie of the Devil? (Family: Amen!) I mean, the few rotten ones that were really not my fruit at all! They forever refused to follow or obey & were a long time following the Enemy even before I came along.
       138. SO IT'S A LIE OF THE DEVIL TO MAKE ME THINK THAT RACHEL'S FALL WAS MY FAULT, that Timothy's failure was my fault, that surely I could have done something to stop it, surely I could have saved them somehow. But God knows God Himself couldn't stop'm, & wouldn't, because they insisted on going their own way. And when you insist on wilfully going your own way like Israel did & is still doing, God has drawn the line. He has committed Himself to not stopping you & to letting you have your own way, just like He did Adam & Eve in the Garden & as He will to the very end: He'll let man have his way until he nearly wrecks the World!
       139. THAT'S THE ONLY WAY HE CAN WORK OUT HIS PURPOSE & the only way He can really prove freewill & the majesty of choice & work out His great experiment & His great demonstration--His great skit, if you will--His illustrated message of the good & the bad & the results of good & the results of evil as an everlasting example to the Universe & God knows to how many Universes or how many beings that He has created, to show the difference, & the either good or bad results.
       140. SO WE HAD TO HAVE A FEW FAILURES, SO-CALLED, & although the Devil's sometimes tried to convince me they were my failures, I'm not going to take the blame nor the credit for'm. The Lord was showing me the other morning it was not I but themselves who failed. Both He & I & she & some of you did everything we could to stop'm, everything we could to save'm, everything we possibly could to salvage them, but they would not. What was it Jesus said about Jerusalem? "How oft would I have gathered thee as a hen gathereth her chicks, but ye would not!" (Mt.23:37) If even the Lord couldn't gather them, who are we? We tried to gather them but they departed.
       141. THE LORD'S TRYING TO TEACH ME NOT TO TAKE THE BLAME. I always had a lot of trouble with an inferiority complex & self-condemnation & depression, blaming myself for things, & now I realise it was the Devil all the time trying to belittle me & trying to accuse me--he's the Accuser of the Saints (Rev.12:10)--& trying to get me down & discourage me & trying to make me quit & make me give up, trying to make me literally kill myself just by giving up. That's a quick way to go, let me tell you, is just to quit!
       142. IF YOU STOP FIGHTING, YOU GIVE THE DEVIL THE VICTORY RIGHT OFF THE BAT, & YOU ARE FINISHED! If you ever quit fighting, he wins & you lose, & you may even lose your life, & a lot of people have. I almost have sometimes when I was almost persuaded to quit & give up & stop fighting, it was just too big a battle & he almost convinced me that I'd made too many mistakes & had too many failures & too many people had failed, etc. But here we are, TTL!
       143. THE LORD DIDN'T LET ME GIVE UP, EVEN THOUGH SOMETIMES I TRIED, & ONE REASON WAS SHE WOULDN'T LET ME GIVE UP! She refused to let me give up & she refused to give me up to the Devil & all his legions! She has fought them sometimes almost single-handed, almost without my help when I was unconscious & helpless & sick & out of this World. She has hung on almost by the bare hair of my head & brought me back again, TTL! So don't think for a minute she's not going to be able to keep hanging on to the Lord & you & the work & the Kingdom long after I'm gone. PTL! Hallelujah! TYL!
       144. I KNOW SHE DIDN'T EXPECT ME TO SAY ALL THAT & I DIDN'T EXPECT TO SAY IT EITHER, but I guess the Lord expected it & I believe He's had His way. PTL? Amen? (Family: Amen!) Well, the Devil will try to put thoughts in your mind right away: "This is self-glorification, this is glorifying man, glorifying woman! This ought not so to be, blah blah!" He'll even quote you Scriptures!
       145. THE DEVIL'S A GREAT ONE TO QUOTE SCRIPTURES--HE CAN ALMOST QUOTE MORE SCRIPTURE THAN ANYBODY!--But twist'm & use'm the wrong way. You've got to be sure you've got your signals straight, Beloved, & who you're getting the Scripture from; not that the Scripture's right or wrong, but whether the Devil's application or interpretation is right or wrong.
       146. HE DID IT WITH JESUS!--AND JESUS REBUKED HIM & CORRECTED HIM EVERY TIME RIGHT AWAY. He was misusing the Scriptures, & the Devil does it all the time. Watch out! Just because you get a Scripture for something doesn't necessarily mean that it came from the Lord, unless it's a good Scripture for a good reason & has a positive good effect on both you & others. Amen? (Family: Amen!)
       147. WATCH OUT, LET ME TELL YOU, THE SCRIBES & THE PHARISEES COULD & STILL DO USE THE SCRIPTURES MORE THAN ANYBODY, & they used them constantly to try to trick Jesus & condemn Him & catch Him & trap Him through Scripture all the time!--With the Devil speaking right through them, trying to trick Him with twisting the Scriptures & misinterpreting them & misapplying them.
       148. THAT WAS THE FIRST THING THE DEVIL EVER DID WITH ADAM & EVE IN THE GARDEN! He told them a half-truth & a half-lie & mixed it together, & it was pure poison! First of all he told the lie, hoping they'd swallow that first, & they did. He said, "Hath God said thou shalt not eat of every tree of the Garden?" And they right away corrected him & said, "No, no, that's not what He said. He said there's just one tree we can't eat of, & if we eat of that tree, the day we eat thereof we'll die!" (Gen.3:1-3)
       149. YOU COULD SAY, WELL, THEY DIDN'T DIE RIGHT OFF THE BAT, right that minute or right that day, it took them hundreds of years to die, but they were dying all the time! But then he told them a half-truth with it to help convince'm: "But He doth know ye shall be as gods, knowing good & evil." (Gen.3:4,5) What gods? Are there other gods? Yes, the Scripture speaks of other gods.
       150. THERE'S ONLY ONE THE GOD, OUR HEAVENLY FATHER, the God of gods, King of kings, but the Scripture does speak of other gods. And when it speaks of these other gods--I think I've told you about that--who are they? (Family: Us?) Well, in a way. He didn't say we would be gods, but He said "ye shall be as gods," like gods. In what way? He said, "knowing good & evil."
       151. WHAT SPIRITUAL POWERS ARE THERE BESIDES THE GOD WHO ARE SPIRITUAL POWERS & PRINCIPALITIES DWELLING IN SPIRITUAL REALMS? That means kings & princes & powers, spiritual gods. Who are they?--Angels!--Both good & evil. Michael is like a god. Who is the one that announced to Mary?--Gabriel!--He is like a god. Even Satan himself is like a god & his archangels are like gods. They are spiritual gods spelled with a little "g"; nothing like our God, of course, the God, the Father.
       152. THERE IS ONE GOD IN THAT SENSE, ONLY ONE SUPREME GOD, ONE SUPREME BEING, but there are many lesser spiritual powers & dominions & principalities & kings & princes & rulers spoken of all through the Bible. There were princes of different countries, demonic princes, kings of countries who wrestled with the angels of God & tried to prevent the work of God. You need to read your Bible if you don't believe it. You don't have to just read MO Letters to find it out! It's all in the Bible, it happened there. (Dan.8:16; 9:21; 10:12,13,21; 12:1; Lk.1:19,26; Eph.6:12; Jude 9; Rev.12:7.)
       153. HE SAID, "YE SHALL BE AS GODS!" (Ge.3:5) In what way?--"Knowing good & evil." Was the Devil already in existence then? Sure he was, he was talking to them. Did he know the difference between good & evil? (Family: Yes.) Obviously!
       154. YES? WERE YOU RAISING YOUR HAND? Watch out about scratching your head, I might think you're raising your hand! Dear Aaron had to buy a calf that way once-upon-a-time at an auction! The guy said, "Sold to Mr. So-&-so!" And Aaron blinked his eyes & remembered he'd just been scratching his head! Those old farmers & cowboys, all you had to do was raise a finger, especially if it was something the auctioneer was trying to sell that particular guy.
       155. THEY WERE ALWAYS FAVOURING AARON, TRYING TO GIVE HIM SOMETHING THEY KNEW WAS A BARGAIN! So it must have been the Lord, I figured, & I just told him to go ahead & take it. It was only $10. He was always buying all the poor, sick & crippled, the maimed & the halt & the blind & taking them home to the Ranch & laying his hands on them & praying for God to heal them, & sometimes He did! Not always, sometimes I think it was just a poor choice or he didn't pray about it.
       156. BUT ANYWAY, THAT'S A FACT!--I CAN'T TAKE THE BLAME, NOT EVEN GOD CAN TAKE THE BLAME. He gave them their choice & they knew better & they chose to do evil. From Adam & Eve to Jethro & Deborah & Rachel! I don't even blame Emanuele so much, because poor Emanuele, he was just a fish & a friend & a king & a babe & it's pitiful how mistreated he was by Rachel & literally scoffed at & ridiculed by her whole staff! Right? You who worked with her? Amen? (James: Amen!) They belittled him & demeaned him & ridiculed him & made fun of him before others & in public, her whole staff; they all followed her example.
       157. HOW EMANUELE EVER LIVED THROUGH IT AS LONG AS HE DID, I DON'T KNOW! He was so dumbfounded when he first met me & came to work with me first of all down in Zoagli, how I kept encouraging him & lifting him up. He'd think, "Wow! Nobody around here ever said that to me before!" He'd look over at Rachel & her secretary Pat & some of the rest of them that were always sneering at him & smirking & laughing at his funny ways & mistakes, & I was always trying to encourage him & always trying to lift him up & say good words about him, because if anybody needed encouragement, he needed it!
       158. BUT HE FINALLY DISOBEYED ME & GOT OUT FROM UNDER THE AURA OF PROTECTION & GUIDANCE. I told him not to go back to Italy, it was dangerous for him to go back. I said, "If you go back to Italy, you're going to get in trouble!" Well, I had in mind just trouble with the law, I didn't realise he was going to also get in trouble with the Lord!--And also with Rachel & all the demons of Hell that beset him, & he's still in trouble in Italy! He's still in a court case there which could put him & Rachel both in jail like they did Angelo.
       159. POOR ANGELO WAS THE INNOCENT VICTIM! I mean, if anybody was guilty, Rachel & Emanuele were, & probably mostly Rachel! She was the most avaricious covetous money-grabber I almost ever saw outside of Jethro! I don't know how they ever ... Well, amen, Lord, TYL! You chose Judas to hold the bag, so that's what I did.
       160. I KNEW THEY WERE INTERESTED IN MONEY SO I KNEW THEY'D TAKE GOOD CARE OF THE KINGDOM FINANCIALLY, & they did, even though they almost let us starve sometimes! They gave us barely enough to live on while they were living like kings & queens. Well, the tables are kind of turned a little bit now, huh?--Ha! I'm now living after the manner to which I should have been accustomed! Not necessarily my own choice, it's just a necessity! If we didn't have a big house like this, you couldn't be here, & we need your help. So PTL!
       161. YOU CAN'T GET HOUSES THIS BIG UNLESS THEY'RE LIKE THIS! It seems like only the rich can afford big houses to hold big families. When I was a kid they used to have big farmhouses, two or three stories, & having a dozen bedrooms was not unusual at all!--They had so many kids & grandkids & in-laws & outlaws & grandparents & whatnot living with them. Big houses were the rule in some of the grand old farms of the past, but not today unless they're rich enough to waste space, & apparently these people couldn't use it all, they were wasting it, & God gave it to us, TTL? (Family: Amen!)
       162. WELL, I'M SO SORRY YOU MISSED YOUR FAVOURITE MOVIE! Maybe somebody will be able to tell us how it came out. Those are the only movies I remember, are the ones I never saw the end of! So I'm always thinking, "Now I wonder how that did end? I wonder how it worked out?" Well, I know I had this ending tonight. I'm sorry, Honey. No, I'm not sorry! (Maria: Don't apologise, please! I'm not sorry.)
       163. I WAS PRAYING ABOUT IT & THAT'S WHAT CAME TO ME, WHAT I TOLD YOU TO BEGIN WITH. When you asked me this or that I said, "Listen, I don't know what I'm going to do tonight, only God knows! I don't know what the Lord's going to do tonight!" So, PTL! There it is, that's it, & I'm sure that's enough of it with the poor children sleepy & it's 10:30 & late. That's the story both positive & negative.
       164. BUT THROUGH IT ALL & THROUGH THE FAILURES OF OTHERS & EVEN SOME OF MY FAILURES & MY DOWNS & DOWNERS, SHE HAS REMAINED STEADY & FIRM AS A ROCK! You wouldn't think it to look at her that she was hard as a rock & tough! She's a tough little fighter, let me tell you, & if you ever cross her in the wrong direction you'll find out!--You'll find out that she's very merciful & forgiving & very lenient & very long-suffering & patient. I think when she saw what Rachel did to me she could have almost scratched her eyes out, but she didn't. Of course she didn't have a chance, but anyway, I don't think she would have.
       165. IF RACHEL HAD EVER COME BACK WE WOULD HAVE BOTH FORGIVEN HER; if she'd ever repented & said she was sorry. We never fired her. We demoted her because she was destroying the kingdom & leading people astray & disobeying, we had to demote her. I had to even finally take away Italy from her after I demoted her first of all to Southern Europe, then just to Italy alone.
       166. FINALLY I SAID TO HER, "RACHEL, I CAN'T EVEN TRUST YOU TO RUN ITALY! I'm going to have to make Emanuele the VS"--or whatever it was--"of Italy." It was KQS or something then in those days. We've had so much alphabet I've forgotten! "I'm just going to have to leave it with Emanuele because I can't trust you to do what I tell you & obey!"
       167. AND THEN WE TOOK TIMOTHY FROM HER & THAT WAS THE LAST STRAW! She went off in a huff, & apparently she had been going that direction for a long time. She'd been talking about us behind our back, we found out afterward, for ages, almost for years, just like Deborah & Jethro who talked about us behind our backs from the very beginning. They didn't think we knew it, but of course I knew it.
       168. THERE'S NOTHING NOT ONLY THAT THE LORD DOES THAT HE WON'T REVEAL TO HIS PROPHETS, but there's nothing hardly that the Devil does that the Lord won't reveal to us too! (Amos 3:7) I knew it all the time. I knew Jethro was a Judas all the time. I mailed you a Letter from the airport in London before we flew back in 1971 to let you know in case anything happened to us on that trip, if the plane went down, look out for Jethro, he was Judas! (No.71)
       169. DID YOU EVER HEAR THE LETTER? DID YOU EVER READ IT? Well, I don't think you got it right away, I'm sure it was suppressed & it wasn't published for a long time, till finally it had to be. So he was the one that I was talking about, in case you don't know who that one was!
       170. THAT LETTER "JUDAS" WAS ALL ABOUT JETHRO & I WANTED YOU TO KNOW in case anything happened to me, that you shouldn't trust Jethro; he was a liar & deceitful & unfaithful & a Judas & a thief, I'm sorry to say. It's sad, pitiful, because in many ways I really liked Jethro & I really loved him & I gave him every opportunity, didn't I? (Maria: Amen.) Even you. But he never really appreciated it, he always wanted more. The avariciousness, the covetousness!
       171. I'LL NEVER FORGET ON THE WAY HOME IN THE CAR IN HUNTINGTON BEACH WHEN HE FIRST WENT TO WORK FOR ME. Apparently the Lord's Spirit was so furious with him--I don't remember how it happened or if you were there or not--but I was driving the car & suddenly I had this tremendous burst in the Spirit! Jethro was sitting beside me riding along & he didn't seem to know what it was all about hardly, except he knew he was guilty. The Lord spoke through me in a terrific blast right at Jethro:
       172. "BEWARE OF COVETOUSNESS WHICH IS IDOLATRY!" Just like that. And that was Jethro's idol, as many of you here can attest by saying amen! (Family: Amen!) Amen. Covetousness. He coveted everything that came in, every forsake-all, every motorcycle, every house, every bit of money, every property, everything that came in he coveted & virtually kept for himself. While she & I were riding buses in London, he was riding around in an almost-new Mercedes in Paris, & Emanuele the same, Rachel & the whole bunch.
       173. I THANK THE LORD I HAD THAT EXPERIENCE THE OTHER MORNING WHEN THE LORD SHOWED ME THAT I WAS NOT TO BLAME, to stop blaming myself for these things because there's nothing more I could have done. No matter what I did, they would have gone astray because their hearts were not right with the Lord in the first place & they were some of them rebels from the beginning.
       174. SO, PTL, EVEN WHEN I GOT DISCOURAGED & BLAMED MYSELF FOR SOME OF THESE THINGS, SHE NEVER GOT DISCOURAGED & SHE NEVER BLAMED ME. My first wife blamed me for everything--every failure, every mistake, every word, every defection, every boo-boo! Every sermon was a mistake & nearly every move I ever made she blamed me for & ran me down & belittled me & discouraged me & tried to convince me I was a failure, until finally she succeeded in convincing me that I would never amount to anything. And then she took off, thank God.
       175. AND THEN THE LORD SENT MARIA!--TYL!--AND RESCUED ME JUST IN TIME! I mean, I figured that when my own wife had forsaken me, then the Lord must have forsaken me & I was just about on the verge of suicide when Maria came along, I was so discouraged. She didn't know that!
       176. I MUST TESTIFY THAT EVEN BEFORE MARIA CAME, THANK GOD FOR MY MOTHER! It was her & her prayers before Maria came, & her prophecies, which encouraged me & helped me to believe that God had something for me in the future & that I wasn't exactly nothing. I was nothing as far as I'm concerned--"there is no good thing that dwelleth in me," as Paul said, "every good & perfect gift cometh down from the Father of lights" (Ro.7:18; Ja.1:17)--we're nothing, but that the Lord was going to make something out of me,
       177. THAT THE VESSEL THAT HAD BEEN BROKEN IN THE HANDS OF THE POTTER WAS GOING TO BE MADE AGAIN, & I was going to be like Daniel of old & like Moses of old & like Jeremiah of old! The Lord even named'm, think of it, in some of those old prophecies of Grandmother's way back there before I ever knew there was any Maria.
       178. SO TTL, THE LORD KEPT ME GOING & LIVING & HANGING ON THOSE PROPHECIES & PREDICTIONS FOR SEVERAL YEARS. It was only about two or three years before Maria came along--I think it was about '65 or '66--that we got most of those prophecies at the Ranch, & especially the one about Daniel, that was '66. I think that was one of the last ones. Maybe it was on the way to California when we finally got that, I don't remember. You can look it up. My memory's not too good for years & dates.
       179. BUT IT WAS IN THOSE LAST YEARS THAT THE LORD HAD TO GO TO A TREMENDOUS EXTREME TO SPEAK TO US VIRTUALLY FACE-TO-FACE through my mother to give us prophecies & Scriptures & encouragement to keep us going--in spite of Mother Eve! And frequently they came out in face-to-face confrontation--my Mother representing the Spirit of God & Eve representing the Devil--locking horns in battle over me! To the point that Eve was ready to concede defeat & give up & quit & leave, because my Mother won the victory & the Lord won the victory & I obeyed God instead of Eve!
       180. I GOT THE SCRIPTURE THAT GOD GAVE TO ADAM: "BECAUSE THOU HAST HEARKENED UNTO THE VOICE OF THY WIFE!" (Gen.3:17) What did God blame Adam for?--He listened to his wife. He hadn't heard the Devil, he hadn't been there when the Devil tempted Eve, he listened to his wife instead of God!--And that's what I'd been doing for years.
       181. THAT'S WHAT HAD BEEN DEFEATING ME, REALLY, FOR YEARS, & her convincing me I was a failure & could never begin to do anything for God: I was too carnal, too fleshly, too sexy, too wicked, not spiritual enough, didn't pray down on my knees & groan in prayer enough like she did, didn't read my Bible enough, blah blah blah blah!
       182. I DIDN'T PREACH WHAT SHE THOUGHT I OUGHT TO PREACH, I didn't do what she thought I ought to do, I didn't get in with the churches like she thought I should have. I mean, it was the voice of the Devil! I recognise it now. All those years Mother Eve was the voice of the Devil to me!--An instrument that the Devil used & tried to use to defeat me.
       183. I MUST ADMIT, IN SOME OF THE EARLY YEARS GOD DID USE HER, AT LEAST, TO GIVE US THOSE CHILDREN that thank God He made & created to create the Family & start the Revolution. And she was a good mother to them in some ways, at least spiritually & Scripturally; she taught'm Scriptures & taught'm to serve the Lord & witness, along with me of course.
       184. BUT I'LL TELL YOU, THAT LAST STRETCH WAS A TOUGH ONE when she was battling me every inch of the way!--But God was battling too. And if you remember that prophecy, the Lord said something about Satan was trying to defeat me, etc.--I can't remember it exactly--but it paralleled the Scripture that God gave Daniel. He said, "I sent My angel to protect you & to guard you & make you what you're going to be," etc. (Dan.10:11-21)
       185. I HAVEN'T GOT A MEMORY FOR QUOTATIONS VERY MUCH, EXCEPT THE BIBLE! I can sure quote the Bible! I can't always remember where it is but I can sure quote it. Praise God! That's from years & years of having it drummed into me. TTL! Even when I didn't want it, I still got it anyhow, & I'm thankful I did. And I thank God He's used it by His Spirit ever since.
       186. BUT AS I THINK BACK ON IT, ALL THIS BACKGROUND HAS TO DO WITH HER BIRTHDAY, why God sent her when it seemed all was lost. Eve was beginning to give up, seeing that my Mother was again being able to get ahold on me through the Lord & His Spirit & the prophecies that God was giving to show that I was going to do something for the Lord, in spite of everything Eve said & could try to do to prevent it!
       187. AND I'LL TELL YOU, I CLUNG TO THAT LITTLE RAY OF HOPE!--That light that came through my Mother's revelations & prophecies that He was about to do something great, & I just had to hold on a little longer, & I never dreamed it was going to come through this little woman here. Another woman, thank the Lord! Eve was almost my Nemesis, my Waterloo, almost my greatest defeat!
       188. THAT'S FUNNY, SOMETHING COMES BACK TO ME THAT I SAID ABOUT THE FIRST TIME I EVER HEARD EVE SPEAK & PREACH. In fact, the first time I ever saw her she was a preacher & a leader & preaching to this huge young people's group in Hollywood. And she was a strong leader, strong-willed woman, I'll tell you! She had tremendous drive, as some of you ought to know! And isn't that funny?--It comes back to me now that that was true in a bad way that I didn't even realise at the time. I used to crack the joke: "She was up there preaching 'be strong!'--& I weakened!"--And that's exactly what happened, really.
       189. SHE NOT ONLY PREACHED "BE STRONG," BUT SHE WAS STRONG!--I mean, to be strong enough to buck me all those years & buck the Lord too, & buck my Mother & God's Word! And in spite of everything God has done by us & through us & the Family & everything, she's still bucking us & still rebelling & still refusing to obey! Maybe the Lord wants to give you the opposite picture to this one (Maria) by comparison. Maybe that's why He's bringing out the negative, to show you the darkness & the defeat against which this light (Maria) shone so brightly by comparison.
       190. I STILL LOVE MOTHER EVE, BELIEVE IT OR NOT! I still love Deborah, I even love Jethro, Rachel, I love'm all! Nobody would be happier than me if they would really repent & come back, & you'd be too, amen? Wouldn't you be happy if any one of those stray sheep would return? We've even tried to go out & rescue'm & they refused to be rescued!
       191. BUT JUST TO SHOW YOU HOW STUBBORN & REBELLIOUS MOTHER IS & HOW HER HEART HAS NOT CHANGED ANY, we simply asked her to please write us each month & just tell us where to send her check--because I believe that I should continue to support her. In the eyes of God she's in a sense still my wife even if she's the Old Church & the old woman, the old wife. The Lord says He doesn't believe in putting away & He hates putting away & I didn't put her away, she put herself away. (Mt.5:31,32; 1Co.7:11) And listen, this is how she's doing right now!
       192. WE SAID, "JUST WRITE US A LETTER EVERY MONTH"--because she's always travelling--"give us your address, tell us what you've been doing, give us some little report, even a little one-page hand-written letter with your address to let us know where you are & where to send you your check, & we'll send it, as soon as we get that letter.--But not until we do!" You say, "Well, why couldn't you just send it to the last address?" How do we know where she's going to be, whether she's still at the last address or not? She lives in the Cruiser & is always travelling!
       193. WE KEPT SENDING JETHRO & DEBORAH TWO OR THREE CHECKS AFTER THEY WERE LONG GONE & had deserted us & left the Family & we didn't even know it! We thought they were still in Los Angeles trying to get visas to Australia! Finally when they couldn't get visas to Australia we said, "Well then, you've got a camper, why don't you tour down through Mexico & Central America & down back to where you were doing pretty well in Colombia, maybe you could do something there." But we were still sending them the checks.
       194. THEY WEREN'T EVEN PICKING THEM UP AT THE ADDRESS WHERE WE WERE TOLD TO SEND THEM! The bank had to return them because they said they never picked them up, at least two checks I think. They picked up one & I guess maybe dear Jeth had a conscience of some kind & didn't have the nerve to pick up any more when he knew he'd deserted the Family. Of course, we had told him that he had to start writing reports if he was going to get those checks for support!
       195. BUT EVEN THOUGH WE FAILED TO GET THE REPORTS FOR ABOUT THREE MONTHS--we thought maybe it was the mail or this, that or the other--we kept sending the checks anyhow without the reports until finally we got the report from somebody else that he had completely left the Family! We got the first report from the bank that the checks were not being picked up & they were there unclaimed & finally returned. So we knew there must be something haywire, but we were never able to find out from Jethro or Deborah.
       196. WE HAVE NEVER HAD A SINGLE COMMUNICATION FROM THEM, NOT ONE, EVER SINCE THEN! Not one!--Not a word for five years! They never had the nerve to even write us a letter to tell us they were quitting or that they didn't pick up the checks! Think of that! Sue, you knew'm pretty well, I've often wondered if Jeth even ever told Deborah that we were sending them checks? I finally upon one occasion sent Deborah a check in her own name that she would have had to sign, when I heard she was in trouble or something, to make sure that she signed it. Well, it came back but I'm not sure it was her signature. I think Isaiah forged it for her, & I wonder if he ever told her that dear old Dad was still supporting them, even though they hadn't written any reports.
       197. AND WE HAVE TOLD MOTHER EVE TIME & AGAIN, "JUST WRITE US A LITTLE LETTER & TELL US WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING. You don't even have to TRF!" She complained, "We don't get any Magazines! We have to borrow our Magazines from somebody else!" I said, "Well, you're not TRFing, why should you get any Magazines?" Huh? Why should she be an exception? I even made her an exception for awhile but finally got fed up with it when we heard of the shenanigans she was up to!
       198. SO I SAID, "LISTEN, YOU TRF & YOU'LL GET THE MAGAZINE! But even if you don't want to TRF, if you just write us a little one-page letter, hand-written, typed, whatever--but you write it, not John or anybody else, I want to hear from you personally--then you'll get your check. Otherwise you'll not get a penny! Not a penny!" Why should I? If she can't even write us a letter, a little note once a month to get a good-sized check. That's a pretty easy way to earn it! Huh?
       199. MY GOD, HOW MANY TIMES HAS SHE MISSED & WE EVEN WENT AHEAD & SENT THE CHECK thinking maybe her little letter was in the mail someplace & we never got it. But she got her check & I notice she didn't return any of them, even though she didn't write the letter. Well, I've gotten tough lately. I finally issued an order to our bookkeeper: "No letter, no checks! No tickie, no laundie!"
       200. AND I EVEN OFFERED ON TOP OF THAT: "IF YOU WILL GET OUT OF THE U.S."--where she's a danger to us as well as herself, hobnobbing with all our enemies & everything--"I'll double your check!" Did she get out of the U.S.?--No!--She is travelling the length & breadth of the U.S. hobnobbing with all our enemies, visiting all the backsliders' parents & the backsliders & all that trash from one end of the country to the other, sponging off of them!
       201. AND KNOWING HER POOR-MOUTH & HOW SHE USED TO DO, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT SHE'S DOING, & Alfred probably knows this too, she's probably going to those backsliders' parents & their homes & saying, "Well you know, my husband doesn't support me any more, I don't get anything any more, we're starving, we're poor, we don't have anything, could you put us up for the night? Could you feed us?" That's exactly the kind of thing she would do.-
       202. ANYBODY WHO KNOWS HER KNOWS THAT THAT'S JUST WHAT SHE WOULD DO! She used to do that in evangelistic work when we were travelling with my Mother, until it made my Mother so mad & made some of the people we were staying with so mad, begging them for things or money or this or that. Poor-mouthing they used to call it when I was a kid. She was a real beggar!
       203. SHE WOULD RATHER DO THAT THAN WRITE US A LETTER & TELL US WHAT SHE'S DOING! I finally clamped down & said, "You've not only got to write us a note or a letter"--like she did, saying nothing in it, no news about what she's doing, where she was, nothing--"from now on you write us a note or a letter, even if it's only one page, & you give me some kind of report on your activities for the past month. You don't have to TRF if you don't want to, okay. But if you're going to get this check, you write some kind of a note & tell me what you've been doing & where you've been, who you've been seeing."
       204. DO YOU THINK THAT'S AN OUTRAGEOUS REQUEST? Do you think that's unjustified? Don't you think that's fair? Well, maybe what Maria is saying is true--because Mom was pretty good at it--Maria says & suspects that maybe she's making more money that way than by writing us a letter for her check! Because if there's one thing she knew how to do, she knew how to sponge & beg & poor-mouth & raise money.
       205. I MUST ADMIT, THAT'S BEEN A NEW THING FOR ME. I NEVER LEARNED IT TILL LATELY!--Ha! But I must confess that she kept us going many times by her nerve. I didn't have the nerve to go to people's doors & beg for a room or beg for a parking place or beg for food or beg for a meeting or beg for an offering, I was too proud, I didn't have the nerve to do it. But she did it & we lived off of it a lot of times that way. Well, the Lord used it. But she probably still has the talent & I guess she must be doing better financially that way than writing us a little note, & apparently would rather do that than obey.
       206. I ORDERED HER NOT TO GO BACK TO THE STATES, but after she went back I ordered her to get out! She went back, she didn't get out, she's still there! And I ordered her to write us a note to tell us where she is & where to send her check, she's refused to do that. I've ordered her to tell us what she's doing, she's refused to do that. I've ordered her to get out of the United States & I'd double her check, she's flatly refused to do that. So she hasn't changed.
       207. THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO WOMEN! That's the other side of the coin, sad to say, it's not even the same coin! It couldn't be disgraced & lowered by calling it a coin, unless you want to call faith the coinage of Heaven, because this one's got faith.
       208. MARIA NEVER KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS KIND OF WORK. She was raised in church, by good parents who raised her right, TTL, father a preacher, she loved the Lord, learned the Scriptures, taught Sunday School & tried to serve the Lord the best she could. She was a good girl. So she never really knew much about striking out on her own & living by faith, serving the Lord fulltime until she met us.
       209. AND WHAT WAS THE PECULIAR INSTRUMENT THAT GOD USED TO BRING HER & LAY HER ON MY DOORSTEP? That was about the last good deed that Mother Eve ever did! And I don't know that it was Mother Eve that really convinced you, it was probably more Faithy & Miguel. (Maria: Oh, it wasn't Mother Eve at all! She just was in the van on the way back!) She had nothing to do with your decision? (Maria: She was head of our team on the way back.) She had nothing to do with persuading you to come? (Maria: No.) Who was it beside the Lord? Who did the Lord use? (Maria: Faithy.) Faithy is what I've usually heard. (Maria: Faithy & Ho.) God bless'm!
       210. WELL, THAT'S ENOUGH, YOU'VE HEARD BOTH SIDES OF THE STORY, THAT'S IT! Why don't we just have prayer right now & dismiss. It's late enough. 11 o'clock, my goodness! How many words are you going to have for'm tonight? Are you satisfied? (Maria: Beautiful!) I didn't expect to do that. There're two pictures, two sides of the story.
       211. IS IT ANY WONDER THAT THE LORD HAD TO DISCARD MOM & RAISE UP MARIA? Here she is enjoying the glories of the last years & the fruits of our labours & the final fulfilment & everything that Mother Eve dreamed of & wanted--the position & the power, if you want to call it that--the leadership & all the rest of it that Mother Eve always wanted me to have so that she could share it, or she wanted it for herself, but she lost it.
       212. LIKE ESAU OF OLD, SHE SOLD HER BIRTHRIGHT FOR A MESS OF POTTAGE & HER OWN WILFUL WAY! And what's she got now?--Nothing! I told her, by the way, don't ever take the Cruiser back to the States either. Next thing I heard it was already in the States. Well, as somebody has said, good riddance to rubbish! Well, I was thinking that when somebody blurted it out! So I said, "Well, I guess I'll have to agree, because she's been nothing but trouble ever since." In fact, she was almost nothing but trouble from the beginning. She caused trouble almost from the day we were married, & even before. It's a long sad story.
       213. BUT THIS IS THE LITTLE GIRL GOD USED TO SAVE ME FROM THAT DILEMMA & that horrible mess I was in with Eve, & to bring victory out of seeming defeat! Praise God? (Family: Amen!) Hallelujah! (To the children:) Amen, all right, we're going to pray. I'm sorry to keep you all so long, forgive me. You've been so quiet & so patient & such good children, haven't they? GB'm! Amen! TYJ! (Sings "Our Father.") Hallelujah!
       214. IT'S ALL YOUR DOING, LORD! THINE IS THE KINGDOM & THE POWER & THE GLORY! It's all to Thy glory! TYJ! (Sings:) "And we'll give all the glory to Jesus, & tell of His love, His wonderful love! We'll give all the glory to Jesus, & tell of His wonderful love!" Amen? It's all Jesus! TYL! But He does use tools, amen?
       215. AND THANK GOD FOR MARIA! I think somebody wrote a poem or song like that, didn't they?--"Thank God for Maria!" (Techi: It's a story!) I think it was a song too. Let's pray our little good-night prayer now too: "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray Thee, Lord, my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray Thee, Lord, my soul to take."
       216. "LET THE WORDS OF MY MOUTH & THE MEDITATIONS OF MY HEART, BE ACCEPTABLE IN THY SIGHT, O LORD, MY STRENGTH & MY REDEEMER!" "The Lord bless thee & keep thee, the Lord make His face to shine upon thee & be gracious unto thee: the Lord lift up His countenance upon thee & give thee" a peaceful good night's rest, safekeeping, & strength for tomorrow, in Jesus' name. (Ps.19:14; Nu.6:24-26)
       217. THANK YOU FOR THIS DAY, LORD, & ALL YOUR BLESSINGS & all the work we got done & safekeeping, Thy protection & provision in everything, Lord, & this happy happy birthday! PYJ! TYL! Hallelujah! Amen, amen! So you sure ought to be able to sing with all your heart: "Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Maria, happy birthday to you!"'
       218. "MANY HAPPY RETURNS OF THE DAY OF THY BIRTH, LET SUNSHINE & GLADNESS BE GIVEN!"--And it is!--"And may the dear Father prepare you on Earth for a Happy Birthday in Heaven!"--And He has!--Amen?--Already! TYJ! GBY all & give you a good night's rest. TTL for a happy birthday! And we'll continue this Happy Birthday Celebration all week, God willing, & you'll have your chance! ILY all! Well, I'm sorry I didn't have time to eat, but I guess that was meat I had to eat that ye know not of! (Jn.4:32) Well, you know of it now!
       219. ISN'T THAT SWEET? TECHI'S BIRTHDAY PRESENT FOR MOMMY! It's a heart. You can see how much love they have, you see how it shines through? Look how much love shines through! We ought to have a picture of Mommy looking through that heart, the love shining through!
       220. (SINGS:)
       How my heart is filled with singing when love shines in!
       When love shines in,
       When love shines in!
       All the bells of Heaven are ringing when love shines in!"

Isn't that a pretty song? I haven't thought of it for years!--An old hymn. Hallelujah! I thought surely you would know that, Honey! (Maria: That was one I never heard before!)
       221. WELL, HERE WE ARE, A REAL FAMILY PHOTO HERE ON MARIA'S BIRTHDAY! Remember the old family photos where everybody got together for Great Grandfather's birthday, & all the generations? Quite a big crowd in the old days! Are you as close as you can get? I believe in being not afraid of their faces. I found people don't care anything about scenery or anything else but the faces. They hardly even care about the bodies unless they're as pretty as yours are right now! We ought to turn the cameras around & fire the other way a little bit! I'll leave it for you boys to take care of that, OK?
       222. ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE ALL THE BOYS & GIRLS A GOOD BIRTHDAY KISS, HONEY? Boys, you're supposed to kiss her as many times as years tonight, you know? I wonder if I can do that, Honey? Isn't she gorgeous? I never realised till some girl pointed out to me that I was kissing in sevens! All these years I was going xxxxxxx! xxxxxxx! (Dad gives Maria her kisses!) I love you, Honey! Take it easy boys, she hasn't been nursed for a long time! GBY! That was quite a birthday party, huh? Hallelujah! PTL! GBY!--Thank God for Maria!--Amen?
       PLEASE PRAY FOR HER! -- She carries the weight of the World on her tiny shoulders!--She's concerned about you!

Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family