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GRANDPA JEWELS ON CHILDCARE!        DO 1709        Compiled 12/83


       1. (TECHI: OH MY LORD!) TECHI, YOU SHOULDN'T REALLY SAY "OH MY LORD" UNLESS YOU'RE REALLY TALKING TO THE LORD. (Maria: Techi, honey, Daddy's talking to you, so look at him & listen!) If you're really talking to the Lord you really MEAN it. When you say 'Oh my Lord', you're really talking to the Lord. You can say it then, but don't say it unless you really mean you want the Lord to hear you. Daddy says it sometimes, "Oh my Lord!", & I really MEAN it & I want Him to hear me. Or you could say "Oh, Lord help me," something like that. That's all right.

       2. (MARIA: DAD'S SUCH A GOOD EXAMPLE OF HOW TO TRAIN CHILDREN, to talk to them like they were adults & make them feel important.)

       3. (MOMMY & DADDY COMMENT ABOUT TECHI'S SPEECH:)--(Maria: Did she say "It must have been"? Boy, that's good, Honey! You're really learning!) She really can speak English! "It must have been a bird out there!" I mean, it's amazing! I think she's speaking better English than if her nurse had been an American. Really! I believe it's because Dora is careful to try to speak good English though it's not her native tongue & she really tries to speak well & clearly & distinctly, & I think that's one reason Techi speaks so clearly.

       4. MARBLES IS A REAL GOOD FUN GAME with a lot of exercise when it's too cold or raining or hot outside, & any number of people can play. There don't have to be just two.

       5. YOU DON'T EVER ALLOW THE CHILDREN TO BE IN THE BATHROOM ALONE, DO YOU? (SARA: THE BIG ONES, YES.) Well, they could accidentally forget & throw too much paper in the toilet or drop something in that they're scared to tell us about, it happens! Anyhow, I think you're not going to be able to use this toilet. It nearly ran over on me. So I think you better tell the agent about it. Of course, they'll always blame it on the tenant & say, "Well, you've got a bunch of kids & they threw in a ball or they threw a Teddy Bear down the toilet or something." And too often that is the truth, it happens! You'd be amazed at some of the stuff plumbers pull out of toilets, things the kids or the baby dropped down the toilet!

       6. WELL, WHO WOULDN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH OUR CHILDREN, huh? They're so sweet & good & beautiful, gifts from the Lord!

       7. (RE: ALICE DRAMA:) Anything you play for kids, they'll pick it up word for word. They will sing it & it will wear a groove in their brains & that's what they will go around singing.

       8. THERE ARE A FEW LITTLE THINGS THAT KIDS COULD PICK UP FROM THAT SHOW WHICH ARE NOT GOOD, like, "Ouch! That hurts!" & "Oh, oh, oh!" making fun of somebody, "Oh somebody is a sissy, bla, bla, bla is a sissy!" Kids always pick that up.

       9. IT'S MORE NATURAL BECAUSE SIN IS NATURAL. It's much more natural to pick up on the negative things like that which come natural to kids, like making fun of somebody, "Somebody is a sissy!" & "Ouch! That hurts!" Already we've had objections & complaints about that script & the effect it has on our children. They pick that up real easy.

       10. I WANT TO TELL YOU RIGHT NOW, IT'S EASY TO BE BAD & IT'S HARD TO BE GOOD, really, in a way. It's children's natural bent to pick up the negative & the bad, because we are born in sin & we are born sinners & we have to learn really to be good.

       11. (RE: SARA & DORA MARCHING AROUND THE ROOM WITH KIDS AT INSPIRATION:) YOU KNOW NOW WHY THESE TWO ARE SO GOOD WITH KIDS--YOU'VE GOT TO BECOME ONE! See? You've got to be willing to become one & sing their songs & act like them & participate & get in the act, otherwise you'll never hold the kids' attention! There's gotta be action!

       12. YOU CAN'T IGNORE LITTLE ONES. They refuse to be ignored, especially this one (Techi). There's no way to ignore her, she's going to make sure she has your attention!

       13. YOU KNOW SHE HAS ALWAYS SETTLED FOR A BITE OF MY FOOD & THEN A BIT OF HER OWN. Then you had to pop the question, "You mean you don't want your own egg?" Well, that settled it & she stopped eating her own egg at all! You have to be as smart as the kids are, Honey, if you're going to deal with kids, & maybe a little bit smarter!

       14. (TECHI ASKS GRANDPA IF SHE CAN STAY WITH HIM.) We'll see, all right, we'll see. (To Family:) That's a good stall, we don't want a confrontation. That was Mama Eve's favourite, "We'll see." I'll never forget when Faithy turned to Ho once & said, "That means no!" I told you girls to try to avoid saying "no" if possible. Just say "wait" or "maybe" or something.

       15. SOMETIMES IT PAYS TO BE A LITTLE CHILD. In fact, "Except ye be as a little child you shall in no wise enter into the Kingdom of Heaven!" (Mat.18:3)

       16. (TO TECHI:) DADDY'S TELLING YOU A STORY ABOUT GOD & HEAVEN. We're going to have the birthday ice cream in a few minutes, OK? (To Family:) I guess we shouldn't have mentioned the ice cream, maybe we should've had it first. I thought about that & it came to me when I went to the toilet that we should've just gone ahead & served the children the ice cream at the end of their dinner. It's hard for little children to wait, it's hard for them to be patient.

       17. I WISH YOU'D ALWAYS MAKE SURE--I don't care what's on the news--that the children kiss us good-night, Honey.

       18. YOU KNOW THIS SHOPPING CENTRE IS SO NICE & CLEAN (SINGAPORE), I wouldn't hesitate to take the kids over there at all if you wanted to take them over. I was surprised to find out that you'd never taken the kids there. Just watch your toes & sandals on those escalators, they'll chew'm up! Yes, Honey, anytime you want to take the kids for a walk to the shopping centre it's nice & clean, & they're such sweet people there, with sweet spirits. They don't even need to look in the toy department. I'm sure they don't need to buy any of those things!

       19. I'M GLAD THEY EMPHASISE THAT IN THESE EASTERN CULTURES, THEY REALLY EMPHASISE IT EVEN IN RUSSIA!: THE PARENTS WORK & THE GRANDPARENTS TAKE CARE OF THE GRANDCHILDREN, which I think is wonderful because usually the grandparents are old enough & wise enough & have lived long enough to really train the children right. And the grandparents are more parents to the grandchildren than even their own parents. You know, that's what they're talking about when they say, "the three-tiered system". It means that the Grandparents, the parents & the children should live together.


       21. YESTERDAY WHEN I WAS TELLING DAVID HOW TO WASH HIS HAIR, I WAS THINKING, "YOU KNOW, THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS MY FATHER COULD HAVE TAUGHT ME, or my mother, little things like this that I had to learn for myself because they were so busy. They could have taken just a few moments time to tell me a simple little thing like how to wash my hair."

       22. I TRIED TO EXPLAIN HAIRWASHING TO DAVID. IT TOOK A LOT OF PERSUASION. I almost had to command him to obey, "Now you lie down there, & you lean your head back & you get your hair wet & you won't get a bit of water or soap in your eyes. You just sit up & soap it & lie back down again & you won't get soap in your eyes!" He was just scared to death to get soap in his eyes! He has a terrible fear of any kind of hurt, he'll get all upset over the slightest hurt. I mean, by comparison to him, Davida & Techi are brave! But I think I'd rather he'd be overly cautious than too brave! I'm amazed at Davida! She'll attack bugs! She'll walk in where angels fear to tread! She's not afraid of anything!--And it's not good sometimes!

       23. "PASSING THE BUCK" STARTED IN THE GARDEN OF EDEN. The first form of self-defense is blaming others. Do you know what happened in the Garden of Eden? When they got caught, the first thing Adam said was, "It was my wife, she did it." And Eve said, "It was the Serpent, he did it." And the Serpent as good as said, "It was God, it's all His fault." So children learn very early to "pass the buck" & blame it on somebody else--our self-defense mechanism. The first thing Adam did was say, "My wife gave it to me" & Eve said, "Well, the Serpent beguiled me." (Gen.3:12-13)

       24. WE'VE TREATED THE SUBJECT OF SEX & BABIES NATURALLY & NORMALLY, LIKE IT OUGHT TO BE TREATED, & it just shows you how children understand about sex & babies if they're allowed to be natural & normal. But imagine, the System waits till the kids are six or seven years of age, like my parents did with my sister. They didn't tell her a stork brought babies, but I think they told her an angel from Heaven brought me. She was about five when I was born. She said, "You try to tell me that?--I know where babies come from!" Somebody'd already told her, some little girlfriend or something. "It came out of your tummy!"

       25. IMAGINE, THEY WAIT TILL THE KIDS ARE FIVE YEARS OLD TO TELL'M THE TRUTH! It's so silly to tell'm the stork brought the baby & all this kind of malarkey! What liars parents are! The World makes parents into such liars!--Santa Claus & storks & all that! By the time the kids are five years old & have learned most of what they're going to learn, they're all screwed up!

       26. KIDS THAT AGE, 10 & 11 YRS. OLD, they want to be like the teenagers, so they imitate everything they do.


       27. THE MAIN FIGHT FOR THE CHURCHY CHILDREN IS AGAINST TEMPTATION, NOT TO DO ALL THE "BAD" THINGS THAT THE OTHER CHILDREN DO, like dance & go to movies! That's what they're taught. That's their main fight, a personal fight against temptation. It's very selfish, no battles about witnessing. What a difference between them & our children, who are taught that the battle is against the Enemy, & taught to get out there on the streets & really fight & witness to people. They know what it is to fight the battle!

       28. IT'S ALMOST MIDNIGHT! IT'S ALMOST WHAT THEY USED TO CALL THE WITCHING HOUR, & ALL LITTLE CHILDREN WERE SUPPOSED TO GET IN BED BY MIDNIGHT BEFORE ALL THE LITTLE HOBGOBLINS & WITCHES & SPOOKS CAME OUT! Oh, I remember how that little poem by, what's his name?--That famous poet? My mother used to sit on his knee--James Whitcomb Riley! I remember one of my baby-sitters read me that poem & I used to be practically terrified, ha! The poem says you should do this & you should do that, & every verse ends with, "Or the boogey man will get you if you don't watch out!" You remember? "The boogey man will get you if you don't watch out!" It was supposed to be a poem for little children, to make them be good. It was a warning to naughty children that if they did this & if they did that & they'd better get to bed early, on time, or, it said, "The boogey man will get you if you don't watch out!"

       29. (TO THE CHILDREN:) WELL WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THE BOOGEY MAN BECAUSE WE LOVE JESUS & HE TAKES CARE OF US. But if you run outside of God's will & you do things you shouldn't do, sometimes He lets the boogey man get to you, huh? So if you disobey the Lord then the boogey man will get you if you don't watch out! So maybe that old story is true about the "boogey man will get you if you don't watch out", 'cause the Devil is the boogey man!

       30. OH, I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT THAT, I'M SORRY. I forgot. Kids can get sort of a fascination for evil. (Techi: The Devil will get you if you don't watch out!) Yes, you gotta watch out & stay close to Jesus & be a good girl & then you don't have to worry about the Devil at all, at all!

       31. I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL THAT KIND OF A STORY TO OUR FAMILIES ("U.S.CANNIBALS", ML 1098). IT IS NOT FOR CHILDREN! We're gonna have to forbid them to tell it to the children or even let the children hear it, 'cause it was about children. Some things you just shouldn't tell children! I didn't like one article I read in the FN. This guy was talking about an earthquake they'd had & the lights went out first & he started telling his kids that it was, you-know-what (The Devil). My mother used to say, "Talk about him, & he'll crop up!" I don't think you should really talk about those things around the children too much. It's not good. Then it gets their minds on those negative things & begins to make them fearful & they spend too much time thinking about it.


       32. THESE PEOPLE THAT WAIT TILL THEIR KIDS ARE TEENAGERS & SAY "WELL, WE'RE GOING TO WAIT TO LET THEM MAKE THEIR OWN CHOICES.--AFTER ALL, THEY COULDN'T UNDERSTAND GOD NOW. We'll wait till they get grown up & then let them figure religion out for themselves, blah, blah!" Well, the Devil already has it very well figured out for'm by the time they're teens! Our children know it all! They know the Scripture & they know the Lord & they know all about things & understand almost everything! It's so silly to say children can't understand. They can understand better than the adults!

       33. CHILDREN WILL LEARN EVERYTHING THEY HEAR, good or bad, & if you've got bad stuff on tape then they'll learn that too, & that's not good. I don't think frankly that we should have any kind of music that's not the Word. I don't think we should have any kind of dramas that are not the Word! They can't be absolutely word for word, always the Word, although the closer they are to the Word the better!

       34. IF SOMEHOW YOU HAVEN'T DWELT IN THE WORD, KEPT THE WORD & TAUGHT YOUR CHILDREN THE WORD & MADE THEM EXAMPLES OF THE WORD, then you have failed! If you are not absorbing the Word yourself & living the Word & preaching the Word & practicing the Word & teaching your children the Word & making them good examples of the Word, forget it!

       35. TECHI'S SO MUCH LIKE A TEENAGER! She's so advanced! And she is so instructed & trained & taught & steeped in the Word & in training, she's had more good training & more Word, more Bible than most teenagers have! Let's face it!--Right? Even our little kids have had more moral training than most teenagers!


       36. (ON GIVING CHILDREN COMMUNION WINE:) Did you hear me, Alf & servers? I think that really just a little sip is about all the children need, not too much. Their bodies are much much smaller than ours. So let's be sure we don't overload them.

       37. OUR CHILDREN ARE GOING TO BE ABLE TO SERVE COMMUNION when there are thousands of people who want to know the Lord & follow the Lord & want to have Communion in places where maybe nobody else knows, they can even lead Communion! Isn't that wonderful? (Family: Yes!) A little child shall lead them. Out of the mouths of babes & sucklings.(Isa.11:6; Psa.8:2)


       39. (RE: DISINFECTING HOTEL MATTRESSES FOR CHILDREN:) Does that mattress seem to be fairly clean? Did you give it a good spraying with disinfectant? Both sides? Because that's how David & Sara got the scabies once, from a dirty crib that they loaned us in a hotel in Madeira. (Also air & sun mattresses outside.)

       40. THE KIDS ARE NOT VERY SMART ABOUT SOME THINGS & YOU HAVE GOT TO KEEP AFTER THEM. You've got to keep an eye on them all the time & try to make sure they don't stay in a draft when it's too cold!


       41. HOW WONDERFUL IT IS TO TEACH A LITTLE CHILD! You know, I've been thinking you need to teach Techi a routine sequence of those verses in some way that she can easily remember, so that one verse will lead into the other. Now if she knew the alphabet you could do it alphabetically or something. If you could somehow figure out a sequence of verses that will be easily connectable, it'd help her.

       42. WE USED TO PLAY A GAME WHERE YOU QUOTED A VERSE & YOU STARTED ANOTHER VERSE WITH THE LAST LETTER OR THE LAST WORD OF THE PRECEDING VERSE, & the same with choruses or songs. You start the next song with the last word of the preceding song. This would make it easier for her to remember & you wouldn't have to prompt her. I mean Faithy was reciting Hebrews 11 when she was about four or five.

       43. YOU OUGHT TO USE A MAP & show the children the map, show them what they're watching on video & where they're travelling via video. OK?

       44. AS THE CATHOLICS USED TO SAY, "GIVE US A CHILD TILL THEY'RE FIVE & THEY'LL ALWAYS BE A CATHOLIC," meaning give them the child for complete training, like in one of their Orphanages or some place like that. And as you know, scientists say that the child learns 80 per cent of what he's going to learn in his whole life in just these first five years! Well, I would say that Techi's probably learned all that by three!--Not by five! She's so smart & so well-trained & so well cared-for & well-taught & has absorbed so much, she's absorbed already what most children absorb by the time they're five, six, or seven!


       45. DON'T YOU GO SITTIN' WAY OFF DOWN THE BEACH FROM THE KIDS! WHEN YOU GO OUT WITH THE KIDS, YOU'VE GOTTA WATCH'M! Three children are too many for any one person to really keep an eye on. Dear Dora was down the beach & Alf was sitting with his back to the kids & Davida was ready to go into the pond, about to fall in, & David was way out on the rocks! I guess they're so used to the kids, the kids are so smart at taking care of themselves. I'm sure glad we have prayer because God's sure been taking care of you, that's for sure! But, David, it's dangerous to climb out on those rocks, very dangerous! You could slip & fall & break a leg or an arm doing that. It's really dangerous, so I don't think you'd better do it, David, it's just too dangerous.

       46. WOOPS! BONK ON THE BONKUS! Did you bonk your bonkus? Where did you bonk it? (To the Family:) It's the funniest thing, I notice when you ask, "Where did you hit your head?", they always show you on the head where they hit the head, instead of what they hit it on!

       47. DAVID, IT'S DANGEROUS PUTTING LITTLE THINGS LIKE THAT IN YOUR MOUTH! Somebody could slap you on the back or something. If suddenly you gasp or something, you could swallow it! They have had to cut people open to get stuff like that out of them, that they accidentally swallowed. So don't ever put anything in your mouth, Honey, that you don't want to swallow. They have taken all kinds of things out of people that they have swallowed.

       48. YOU SHOULDN'T EVER GO ANYWHERE BY YOURSELF, should you? (Techi: No.) No. Go with Dora or somebody else. (Techi: In the woods.) In the woods or the beach or on the street or anywhere. Always go with somebody, don't ever go by yourself, right? Not even Daddy goes by himself, not even Mama by herself. (Techi: Not even me.) Not even you, no.

       49. (TECHI BITES A DELICATE GLASS & IT BREAKS IN HER MOUTH.) Did you get it all out? (To Family:) Don't give her water, she might drink it & swallow splinters! Spit it out, spit out, keep spitting. Did you spit it all out? Honey, why in the World would you want to bite the glass? Now don't drink it, just spit it out! Don't swallow it! Now rinse your mouth then spit it all out! Once more, rinse it good! She's quite a spitter!

       50. WELL, HONEY, BE THANKFUL YOU'VE GOT YOUR LIFE! What are you chewing glass for, why'd you bite the glass? You can't drink that juice now because it's got glass in it. They'll get you another one, Honey, if you'll promise not to bite the glass ever ever ever again! OK? Are you sure you got all the pieces of glass out? (To Family:) Turn on the light so we can see. Did you spit all the glass out? Are you sure? TTL! That was a miracle!

       51. THANK YOU JESUS FOR SAVING HER, thank You for helping to keep her & protecting her mouth, Lord, & her tongue & her lip or something she could've cut real bad, in Jesus' name! Don't you ever ever do that again, Honey. What ever inspired you to bite the glass? What were you trying to do? (Techi: Eat the glass up.) Well, that was a silly, ridiculous thing to do, eat glass! I saw a guy do that in the circus once. Have you ever seen one of those guys eat light bulbs? Yes, & it finally killed him, he ate too many light bulbs. If we give you some more juice are you going to bite the glass? Are you sorry? OK. Tell everybody you're sorry. Look, you stopped our prayer, you stopped everything & caused everybody to get all worried about you. Don't you want to tell'm you're sorry? Say, "I'm sorry." (Techi: I'm sorry.) OK. She's sorry, good girl! All right, now you can have some more juice. Maybe we'd better give you plastic glasses after this if you've got a yen for biting'm! (Techi at 3 years, 2 months.)


       52. CHILDREN LOVE POETRY & SONGS! It's such a wonderful chance to teach them those things, because they really like poetry & songs. I think that's the greatest heritage we can give our children, good Christian music & songs. You ought to pick out the verses that you like best. Keep singing the chorus until they know it & then pick one new verse until they know it, instead of trying to sing'm all. You can't learn'm all at once.

       53. (COMMENT ON TEACHING CHILDREN TO PLAY GUITAR:) You've got to have a little music lesson every day. Don't you have time? You have to make time! We ought to have another guitar here for others who play, for goodness sake! Why should we just have one guitar? Have we got a guitar case for it too? We ought to have 2 guitars! I think it's so good for all of us, especially the children.


       54. NOBODY SHOULD WEAR ANYTHING THAT TIGHT AROUND THEIR STOMACHS, IT'S VERY BAD FOR YOU! When a child complains of a stomachache or their stomach's bothering them, one of the first & most common causes is pants or waistbands that are too tight!

       55. (TO TECHI:) YOUR TUMMY HURTS? Well Sweet Baby, let's pray for it. In Jesus' name, bless & help her tummy not to hurt. Are your pants too tight? Hm? Are you keeping them down nice & low? No? Just keep'm down low so they're comfy, not on your tummy.

       56. TIGHTS SHOULD ALWAYS BE KEPT DOWN BELOW HER TUMMY. Her panties are too tight, Honey. Leave'm up in the back but you've got to wear'm down under the tummy. I've told all the girls to never wear things over their tummies. See this line that God made right here? Look now, lift up your shirt. See that line? God made that line there & that's where your belt's supposed to be, that's where your panties & everything are supposed to be. Her panties are real tight too!

       57. (TO TECHI:) YOU NEED TO SLEEP IN PAJAMAS HERE WITH THIS COLD AIR-CON. You shouldn't wear your pajamas in bed that you've been wearing to sit on the dirty couches & floor & everything. Do you have a separate pair for night in bed? You can wear a dress in the daytime & wear your pajamas at night. Good idea?


       58. DID YOU LIKE GRANDPA'S CRACKERS? They're very good. Try one, Davida. Don't ever say you don't like something until you try it! Good girl! That's right. You don't want two layers? Well you can eat it any way you want to. In fact, you don't have to eat it at all if you don't want to.

       59. (TECHI GETS A BIG SERVING OF PEAS:) Well, you don't have to eat them all if you don't want them. (To Family:) That would help, I think if she wants to put back some, then she doesn't get so discouraged. That's the way I am, if I get too much I get discouraged.


       60. IT'S GETTIN' LATE, IT'S ALMOST YOUR BEDTIME, 12:00! Whoever heard of children with a midnight bedtime? The dear British would be horrified! They put their kids to sleep at six o'clock & then they go out to dinner! Their motto is children should be in bed by six & parents have dinner by seven.

       61. (MARIA: WHY DON'T THE KIDS FEEL TIRED SO LATE?) They do! But they fight it because they know what's coming, so they try to think of every excuse they can think of to avoid it!

       62. IT'S AMAZING HOW THEY FIGHT GOING TO BED! It's really a lot like how people fight death, you know. It's a sort of a death to have to go to bed & go to sleep, & children dread it, like old people who don't wanna die. (To children:) But you have to go & lie down & close your eyes & go to sleep.

       63. WELL, THE CHILDREN SEEM TO REALLY SLEEP LATE HERE, SO THAT'S GOOD. I think you should let them sleep. I think they should sleep as long as they want to sleep in the morning & at nap.


       64. (SEES A MOTHER BREASTFEEDING:) WHAT A HANDY MILK BOTTLE! GOD REALLY KNOWS BEST! Isn't that beautiful? Just think, I can remember when I was a little boy in country churches & places like that, & all the women were nursing their babies like that right in church, & oh my, I nearly swooned, it was so beautiful! I was raised on the breast & hope I'll die on one!

       65. NO DOCTOR IN HIS RIGHT MIND WOULD RECOMMEND THAT A PREGNANT WOMAN STAY IN BED FOR SEVEN MONTHS, that's about the worst thing she could do! I mean that's enough to kill anyone to stay in bed that long! You just get weaker & weaker the longer you stay in bed, & she undoubtedly would have had to have a Caesarian, I presume, if she had the baby at all!

       66. (TALKING ABOUT ANTAGONISTIC GRANDPARENTS WON OVER BY THE GRANDKIDS:) It just took one little baby to turn the tide. Ha! The Lord sure knows what He's doing, doesn't He? I mean there's nothing that flips out grandparents like that first grandchild & it doesn't matter how it came, legal or illegal or illegitimate or what! They just flip out over that baby! That was their little ambassador of peace & love & it won their hearts!



       68. DR. HAROLD FAKKIMA WAS A VERY GREAT EXPERT ON CHILDREN, A CHRISTIAN EDUCATOR, & went around to schools lecturing particularly on how to treat teenagers, because teenagers had become a difficult problem in the States & are almost everywhere, anywhere! He said,

       69. "IF BY THE TIME YOUR CHILD HAS BECOME A TEENAGER YOU HAVEN'T TRAINED THE CHILD TO DO RIGHT & TO MAKE GOOD DECISIONS, IT'S TOO LATE! They are now an adult." They probably don't go for his teachings anymore, it was too opposite to Dr. Spock's stuff, the guy who wrecked one or two generations of children in the U.S.! Spock was telling parents to let the children have their way & do as they please!

       70. BY THE TIME A CHILD IS A TEENAGER THEY HAVE A VERY STRONG IDEALISTIC SENSE OF RIGHT & WRONG, & particularly at that idealistic stage they're sort of grasping, really, for absolutes & something to really hang onto & put their faith in. Absolute right & absolute wrong is a big part of things, as they're facing life & it's difficult, & they see so much & hear so much! It's the time when they really want to know the truth & the difference between truth & lies. They make very severe judgments & seldom is anything grey or inbetween.--Everything is either totally black or totally white.--It's either totally wrong or totally right. Teenagers in a way are extremists. It takes a few years for them to begin to learn moderation & realise that there is a certain inbetween & not everything is all bad or all good, including their parents!

       71. TEENS SOMETIMES BECOME VERY INTOLERANT OF THEIR PARENTS, because they have become old enough to see that their parents are not perfect & that they're not always right, & they become disillusioned, actually, even if they themselves have been naughty & bad throughout their childhood. They idolised the parents & had the faith to believe that they were usually right. Even when they want to be bad & do wrong, the teens know what their parents have taught them is right.

       72. BUT AS THEY GET OLDER, THEY FIND A FEW FLAWS IN THEIR PARENTS' BEHAVIOUR, even in some of their ideals & standards & morals, & they don't completely accept their standard anymore. They've become disillusioned & somewhat sceptical, & this is an age, sad to say, when in many cultures, teenagers even get to the point where they can't cope with it & they rebel because they suddenly find out the World, parents, home, & everything that was so wonderful before is not perfect, it's not Heaven on Earth, not even their parents are perfect.

       73. OF COURSE, THE WORST THING THE WORLD HAS DONE TO THEM IS TELL THEM THAT GOD ISN'T PERFECT EITHER OR THERE ISN'T ANY GOD & there's no rhyme or reason to it all, & there are no absolutes & there's no purpose, no plan, no point to their existence. They might as well jump off the 23rd floor of the apartment house, like this one 16-year old girl was just persuaded from doing the other day. She was just going to end it all! They have very serious love affairs, they fall deeply & madly in love & they usually want to get married, but the girl's parents won't let them & the boy's parents won't let them, the System won't let them & they pry'm apart & break their hearts!

       74. IT'S TRAGIC, REALLY TRAGIC, THAT THEY DON'T LET THEM GET MARRIED AT THE AGE GOD INTENDED FOR THEM TO GET MARRIED, when they're young & strong & can stand to put up with a bunch of squallin' little rascals & all the rest. Some may not be smart enough, but it's an age when they should live in the home of the parents, & this is what the parents don't want! They don't want to have to take care of their kids' kids! And they don't want to have to be subject to that demand & responsibility of having to now train not only their own children, but train their children how to train THEIR children, which is the Grandparent's responsibility!

       75. WHAT DR. FAKKIMA SAID WAS, "BY THE TIME THEY'RE TEENAGERS, YOU HAVE JUST ABOUT TAUGHT THEM ALL YOU CAN & all they'll accept regarding right or wrong behaviour & the moral code of what you have been teaching them." Of course with us as Christians, it's God's Word! They know the Word. They know what's right & they know what's wrong.

       76. HE SAID, "TEENS ARE YOUNG ADULTS. GOD HAS MADE THEM TO WANT INDEPENDENCE AT THAT AGE. He has made them to want to make their own decisions & to be free, once they've been taught & trained & reared, to be free of constant dictatorship by their parents & to make their OWN decisions. Each one of them has become a little judge & is judging everything by their own conscience, actually by the training you have given them, the background of what is right & what is wrong. Usually their judgments are very extreme & dictatorial themselves & they're quite positive when THEY'RE right & positive when YOU'RE wrong!" They become very wilful & independent & want their independence, & want to do it their own way, go their own way, which in a way, is how God has made them so they won't forever just want to stick around home & be dependent on their parents. They'll want to get out & do something on their own.

       77. DR. FAKKIMA SAID, "IF YOU HAVE TRAINED THEM RIGHT & GIVEN THEM THE RIGHT FOUNDATION & BACKGROUND"--& HE WAS A CHRISTIAN OF COURSE--HE SAID, "THERE'S A SCRIPTURE THAT SAYS, 'WHEN THEY ARE OLD THEY WILL NOT DEPART FROM IT.'" (Pro.22:6) They may depart from YOU for awhile & they may depart even from your rules & standards etc. & want a taste of this World & want to try out having their own way. But they soon find out that their mama & daddy were right, & God was right, but they just want to try & see, test it out for themselves. And then they come to recognition, both by their TRAINING, which gave them their opinion of right & wrong, & then by actual EXPERIENCE, by trying it out to SEE what's right & wrong. They found out that you were right, God was right & they decided to do the right thing. Obeying pays & disobeying also pays!" And "the way of the transgressor is hard"! (Pro.13:15)

Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family