Home » Children of God Publications » God's in Control

The Family / Children of God

Internal Publications and Secret Directives

DISCLAIMER: The sole purpose of this page is to document the existence of a publication produced by The Family International a.k.a. The Family, Family of Love, Children of God and various pseudonyms (hereon referred to as TFI). It is provided for the record, for educational and research purposes, with the principal aim of promoting accountability by the TFI for its teachings and statements, which have proven detrimental to the lives of many. By replicating this material, exFamily.org neither endorses the views expressed in this publication nor justifies the existence of this publication and its statements. Reader discretion is advised. The material on this page may be unsuitable for minors and may contain disturbing words of racism, hate mongering, directives to unhealthy lifestyles and/or criminal activity, and/or contain plagiarized works.
THIS PUBLICATION MAY HAVE BEEN "SANITIZED." This digital format of this publication was extracted from TFI's HomeARC 99, which was subjected to encryption and editing by TFI, who, in order to hide its controversial writings and thus escape moral and/or legal accountability for past/present core beliefs and directives, sanitized (edited) and purged (deleted, destroyed, burned) its texts—both printed and electronic. Where possible, exFamily.org has compared this digital material with the cult's original paper-printed versions to ensure that this publication accurately reflects the original, uncensored version. Locations where the text has obviously or potentially been sanitized is hilighted with bright-red [DELETED] or [EDITED] markers.

GOD'S IN CONTROL!        DO 2084       12/85--Nothing Can Happen without His Permission!
(From a Tape to Apollos about the new Heaven's Girl Series:)

       1. SON, I ENJOYED YOUR LATEST EPISODE, YOU'RE REALLY GOING GREAT! I think it's very good, & teaches a very good lesson about being more receptive & responsive & heeding the voices of our spirit helpers.

       2. BUT BEFORE YOU GO TOO MUCH FURTHER WITH THIS NEXT PART OF THE STORY ABOUT THE BATTLE, I have a question about that, about the first part in which we're on the way over to Marie's & are attacked by a demon.
       3. I JUST SORT OF LET IT ROLL BY AT FIRST, BUT THEN I GOT TO THINKING ABOUT IT & PRAYING A LOT ABOUT IT. From all I gather from the Scripture, we're not that vulnerable to Satanic attacks. If we're not that vulnerable in the flesh, surely we wouldn't be that vulnerable in the spirit! I know it makes a good story & is dramatic & all that, but we've gotta stick consistently with the Scriptures & God's actual dealings. And if their Guardian Angels couldn't protect them any better than that, than for that bolt to hit Abner & to send him reeling & stunned etc., they weren't on the job!
       4. IT'S BEEN MY IMPRESSION FROM THE SCRIPTURES, "HE SHALL GIVE HIS ANGELS CHARGE OVER YOU TO PROTECT YOU IN ALL YOUR WAYS" & you can't even stub your toe or dash your foot against a stone, they'll bear thee up in their hands. (Psa.91:11,12)--That His Guardian Angels protect us from everything, except from the penalties of our own sins.
       5. HE WON'T LET A HAIR OF YOUR HEAD BE TOUCHED! "HE THAT TOUCHETH YOU TOUCHETH THE APPLE OF MINE EYE!" (Mat.10:30; Zech.2:8) The only time He allows Satan to really seriously attack us is as a penalty for our sins, in other words, we let the Enemy in through our own mistakes, shortcomings, weaknesses, sins, disobediences etc. That is, of course, one of the most serious ways in which they can really chastise us, that He allows the Enemy to touch us. Otherwise He sets a hedge about us so that the Devil can't even touch us, like He did Job.--Until He felt that Job needed a testing for his self-righteousness, don't forget! He does sometimes allow the Enemy to hinder us, distract us & thereby delay us, or if we need it, to test us.
       6. SO I HATE TO GIVE OUR PEOPLE THE IMPRESSION THAT WE CAN BE SO EASILY ATTACKED IN THE SPIRIT WORLD or they won't even want to go there!--That we're not given any better protection by our Guardian Angels, that we're worse off in the Spirit World than we are in this one.--Even though we're here now in the weakness of the flesh & they are powerful spirits with super powerful forces, God doesn't even let'm touch us now unless we are disobedient or out of His will or to straighten us out somehow or teach us a lesson we can't learn any other way. If we go running out of the tower of His protection of His will, as the Lord once told us, He will then allow Satan's fire to scorch us with disease, accident etc.
       7. THAT WAS A PRETTY SERIOUS ACCIDENT FOR THAT BOLT TO HIT ABNER & KNOCK HIM FAR AWAY & STUN HIM ETC., & I just can't see that that's consistent with the Lord's protection & with the Scripture. I would only consider the Lord would let anything that serious happen to us if we were really out of God's will & doing something wrong. And here they're doing their best to obey & they're on their way to an important mission, & for the Lord to allow the Enemy to attack them that severely, I'm sorry, I can't quite see it!
       8. WHAT KIND OF ATTACKS DOES THE LORD ALLOW US TO HAVE? Usually they're a result of our own carelessness. They're just like child-training, they're like chastening. We get a little out of line & then we get a little spanking, the Lord allows the Enemy to give us a little swat or two. Or we're foolish & we catch cold, or we don't get enough rest & we get run down & we get something else etc. Or we're careless in our conduct & we have a little accident.
       9. USUALLY IT'S MINOR & IT'S BECAUSE WE'RE OUT OF THE WILL OF GOD OR WE'RE NOT PRAYERFUL, WE'RE NOT CAREFUL, we're not cautious, we don't really try to prevent conditions which allow accidents to happen. As I've often said, make it impossible for accidents to happen & you'll have fewer accidents. Thank God we have very few!
       10. BUT IF PEOPLE GET OUT OF LINE & ARE DISOBEDIENT OR OUT OF GOD'S WILL & GOING THE WRONG DIRECTION, THE ENEMY IS ALLOWED TO ATTACK THEM! Now if we had been going the wrong direction & we had been disobeying the Lord, I could see God allowing something like that to happen to stop us & stun us.
       11. THERE ARE VERY FEW INSTANCES IN THE ENTIRE SCRIPTURE THAT YOU FIND THE ENEMY WAS EVEN ABLE TO DELAY AN ANGEL OR AN ANSWER. I think that was a very rare instance in Daniel's case, extremely rare, because it was an extremely important mission in which God's Angel was going to reveal to Daniel the entire future! Therefore it was really a battle! And I presume maybe it wasn't only the Prince of Persia but a few others helping him that could've delayed him. (Dan.10:12-13)
       12. BUT IT DOESN'T SAY THAT HE TOUCHED HIM IN ANY WAY OR HURT HIM OR KNOCKED HIM OUT OR KNOCKED HIM FAR AWAY OR STUNNED HIM OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT, HE JUST HINDERED HIM. God's Word speaks of the Devil as the hinderer, & he's the tester also, the accuser. And against us, I really believe mostly he uses doubt & fear almost more than anything else! "He feared a fear & it came upon him." (Job 3:25) If we "fear not", then he's not able to touch us. If we have faith & confidence & are strong in His Word & we know the Word & we know God's protection & we have faith in it, then He just does not allow us to be attacked by that!
       13. I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET INTO TOO MUCH OF THAT SORT OF THING BECAUSE I JUST CAN'T SEE IT! I cannot see that we're going to be in even greater danger in the Spirit World. There are in some respects greater dangers, more powerful dangers, but we shall also have much more powerful protection! And there will be just as many rules regarding conduct for Satan in that sphere--& I'm sure there are, & the Bible gives every indication of it--as there will be rules for our restrictions also.
       14. SO I JUST DON'T SEE THE ENEMY BEING SO EASILY ABLE TO ATTACK US OR ACTUALLY WITH FORCE that would send us reeling & stunned etc., when we are on a specific mission for God with two powerful Guardian Angels, perhaps even more! My goodness, if I had seven down here, I ought to have more Up There! I'd say we oughtta have a pretty good-sized bodyguard!
       15. I RATHER TIMIDLY SUGGESTED WE SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST OUR GUARDIAN ANGELS WITH US, ONE EACH, BUT I'M GOING TO SUGGEST WE SHOULD HAVE QUITE AN EXTENSIVE BODYGUARD! We ought to have a whole military escort when we're going around! And I don't think they would let the Enemy or any of his fiery darts or anything hit us!
       16. I THINK YOU NEED TO READ THE 91ST PSALM OVER AGAIN. It sounds like we come through all that absolutely unscathed. What does he say about fiery darts in the Bible? It says, "Above all taking the shield of faith, which shall quench the fiery darts of the wicked." (Eph.6:16) So we've got some kind of shield, which is our faith, which says it will quench all the fiery darts of the wicked, that includes wicked spirits, & not let any get through to knock us down & out & reeling & stunned etc.!
       17. I JUST DON'T LIKE TO HAVE THE LORD'S POWER & FORCES SOUND SO WEAK & SO VULNERABLE THAT WE ARE NOT THOROUGHLY COVERED & PROTECTED! Where was Abner's forcefield at this time anyhow? What good do the forcefields do if the evil spirits are going to knock us around like that? I mean it, before you get into this war in the spirit or whatever it's going to be, I think you need to think about that & not get off on the wrong track & give people the idea that we're so vulnerable, that we're even more vulnerable in the Spirit World than we are now.
       18. THAT WAS NOT MY FEELING ABOUT HEAVEN TO BEGIN WITH OR OUR TRIPS THERE ETC. I realise we need that tube to get There & are protected, but we're still in very uneducated & uninformed & unpowerful form when we die & go to Heaven. We're like little babes & the Lord has to give us full protection. But even coming back we have all kinds of protection, of the forcefields & the spaceships & the mighty Angels with all their super powers & our own super powers!
       19. MY IMPRESSION OF THE OTHER WORLD IS THAT GOD RULES IT, NOT THE ENEMY! The Enemy's extremely restricted in his activities, except if we disobey & get out of God's will & are careless, just like down here now. I just can't see us getting knocked around that much by the Enemy! I know it makes an exciting dramatic story, but we've got to keep it consistent with the facts & the truth of God's operations. And remember that He & His Angels are absolute rulers of both Heaven & Earth, & all spiritual places as well, & the Devil cannot do a damn thing without His permission!
       20. NOW WHY DID ABNER DESERVE TO GET KNOCKED OUT & KNOCKED AROUND LIKE THAT? What was he doing that he was doing wrong? I think maybe I gave you too much of that in that weaponry lesson there. (See HC Chapter 20.) That sounds exciting & all that, & I'm sure we will have all that sort of powers because that's the way I see it, but I frankly don't think that normally we will have to use them. If even mere mortals like Marie can have such powers on Earth in the flesh, how much more powerful we can be & even protected in the spirit!
       21. I THINK WE'RE GOING TO BE VIRTUALLY INVULNERABLE IN THE SPIRIT WORLD! And though there are very few instances in the Bible where spirits were actually able to really hinder, I don't think it was by force or knocking people down or out & that sort of thing. I think it was more by attacking them in their weak spots, their lack of faith or their self-righteousness or their disobedience or their getting out of the will of God. Only then did He allow them to be attacked, such as Balaam with his ass. The Angel was about to slay him because he was going directly against the Will of God! (Num.22:22-35)
       22. THE ONLY TIME WE'RE VULNERABLE IS WHEN WE OURSELVES GET OURSELVES OUT OF THE PROTECTIVE FORCEFIELD, so to speak, & we go astray or we disobey or we get careless, or we fear, or we doubt. All of these are sins. I don't think the Devil can touch us except as a penalty of our sins or shortcomings, & I don't think the Lord will let him do that unless we persist in it.
       23. SO I DON'T WANT TO SEE TOO MUCH OF THIS VIOLENCE AS THOUGH THE DEVIL IS ALMOST ALL-POWERFUL & CAN KNOCK US AROUND, even where we're on a righteous mission sent by the Lord Himself to do good & to accomplish what He wants done. I don't think anybody can stop what God wants to do, not even for a few moments, or knock'm around! Now if you can come up with some examples for me, I wish you would, where anybody who was doing the will of God & really on a righteous mission, was ever knocked around like that by the Devil in the Bible! I think you must have taken the incident in Daniel 10 to an extreme.
       24. NOW THERE'S ANOTHER OCCASION OF WHERE JACOB WRESTLED WITH THE ANGEL & WAS CRIPPLED, BUT BOY, I'LL TELL YOU, IF ANYBODY EVER NEEDED IT, HE NEEDED IT, & he deserved it! (Gen.32:24-30) He was a crook, a liar, a cheat, he had defrauded his brother, his very name means "the deceiver"! For God's sake, if anybody needed an Angel to work him over, it was Jacob! And it was after that that he was crippled & thereby humbled & put in his place by the Lord Himself! It was probably an Angel of God, not just an angel of Satan who did it! I think we're more apt to have good, righteous Godly fear of God's Angels than the Devil's! If we get out of line, they'll slap us back in, if we persist in it!
       25. NOW I THINK IT'S ALSO GOD'S POLICY THAT JUST LIKE WITH YOUR OWN CHILDREN, EVERY TIME THEY HAPPEN TO GET A LITTLE OUT OF LINE YOU DON'T IMMEDIATELY KNOCK'M IN THE HEAD & SEND'M REELING & STUNNED WITHOUT A WARNING! That's another point I want to bring up. I just feel that we have a lot better communication. My impression of the Spirit World, both in Heaven & below, is that in the spirit & amongst spirits, they have a lot better communication & almost virtually instant communication!
       26. I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT TRYING TO GET THROUGH FROM THE SPIRIT WORLD TO THE HUMAN CONSCIOUSNESS. I think your example there of me wrestling with Marie trying to get her to get the point was very good, because that is so like us & so true.--Because we're not prayerful enough, we're not sensitive enough in the spirit, we don't meditate enough, we don't get alone quiet with the Lord in order to hear from the Lord. Prayer is not just talking to God, it should be mostly listen-ing to God. So that is a very good example, & in fact I put as a moral at the end of that chapter, "Do you heed the voices of God's spirits?"--Because I like to draw the net & apply it each time for the people. So I hope you don't mind my giving them a little punch at the end to their conscience!
       27. BUT I REALLY DON'T BELIEVE THAT SATAN NOR ALL HELL NOR ALL HELL'S ANGELS CAN EVEN TOUCH US--"not a hair of our head", He says--without God's permission! And I can only believe that God would give such permission when we are out of line. I don't believe that the Devil can touch us when we are in the Will of God doing God's Will.
       28. NOW WE DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT DEAR GABRIEL & WHAT HE WAS UP TO & WHY HE ALLOWED THAT PRINCE OF PERSIA TO DELAY HIM! Angels make mistakes too, believe it or not. I don't think it's very often. Human spirits are a little more prone to making mistakes in the Spirit World, for the same reason that we make'm. But I certainly don't expect us to make as many since we will be so sensitive to the will of God & His spirits & His messages & in such close contact. I certainly don't expect us to make very many mistakes!--Unless we get a little bit distracted or our minds on the wrong thing or we're not really obeying what we're supposed to be doing etc.
       29. I THINK IT'S GOING TO BE A GREAT DEAL LIKE IT IS NOW & HERE, & I CERTAINLY DON'T EXPECT IT TO BE WORSE! I really don't! I don't think we're going to have to fear being bombarded at any minute unexpectedly by some Satanic enemy, even where we're protected by hosts of Angels! God's Word says a host, a Heavenly host, is camped round about us! (Psa.34:7) My Lord, has the Devil got that much power he can force his way through?--No! I don't believe it.--Not unless we run out between their legs & get outside the camp somewhere where we shouldn't be, out of God's will and away from His protection, then we deserve to get it! Because we're disobeying the Lord, we're getting out of touch & fellowship with Him & others and we're running astray! So of course then He lets the Devil slap us around to whack us back and drive us back into line.
       30. DON'T FORGET, THE DEVIL'S WORKING FOR THE LORD TOO! Didn't you ever think about that? He's God's little devil & demon & imp & chore boy to whack us around with God's permission when we get out of line! But otherwise he doesn't have a right to put a finger on us!

       31. LOOK HOW THE DEVIL EVEN HAD TO PLEAD WITH GOD ABOUT JOB! (Job.1-2:6) He had to argue with God about it! Until finally, because the Lord knew Job's weakness & so did the Devil, He allowed the Enemy to attack him in that which he was most vulnerable, & that was his own pride & self-righteousness. He thought he was so perfect! "Why me, Lord? Look how perfect I am!" Well, that's exactly why God just pulled the rug out from under him & let the Devil do all kinds of things to him, take away all his blessings & his family & his wealth & his health & everything, just to show him that he was just as much of a sinner as anybody else & maybe more, because he was so damn righteous, instead of righteous in the righteousness of God!
       32. THIS IS A GOOD EXAMPLE OF THE SELF-RIGHTEOUS SINNER, THE RELIGIOUS SINNER, THE PIOUS, SANCTIMONIOUS, SELF-RIGHTEOUS HYPOCRITE, believe it or not! People are always complimenting Job for his patience & wondering, "Well, how could God have done all that to such a good man?" They wouldn't have let the Devil do that to him! That's the average attitude of the average Christian. I've run into lots of people in church who wonder how come the Lord let the Devil do all that to him when he was such a good man!
       33. WELL, THE LORD LET HIM DO IT TO HIM BECAUSE HE WAS SUCH A BAD MAN, & HE WAS ONLY PRETENDING TO BE A GOOD MAN! The lesson is very clear there if you read the whole thing, it's extremely clear. And a lot of his so-called comforters, which the church & the preachers decry, were right in their accusations & the things they said about him. But he was arguing about it & resisting these truths they were giving. He was not accepting it! He wouldn't believe it! He was too proud & self-righteous & he didn't want to confess it! Until finally God got him really down to where he was about to die, & so he finally realised the only thing he had was God & the only thing he could trust was the Lord & not his own self-righteousness, not his own goodness nor his health nor his wealth nor his wife nor his family nor anything but the Lord!
       34. SO I JUST DON'T SEE US BEING SO VULNERABLE TO THE ATTACKS OF THE ENEMY! The only reason I have suffered some attacks of the Enemy recently, & in fact virtually all my life, is when I got out of line. I don't like to go into all the ugly gory gruesome details of my misdeeds & my disobediences & my weaknesses or all the reasons that God has for letting the Devil sock me around, when I was just reaping what I sowed, that's all. And I don't want to discourage any of our people by telling them how bad I am, although I've tried to tell'm & told'm a lot of times, to confess it just to show them that if the Lord can heal & forgive me, He certainly can them! Nobody is too bad for God!
       35. BUT I'LL TELL YOU, AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, & I'VE BEEN TAUGHT THAT ALL MY LIFE SINCE I WAS A LITTLE TYKE BY MY MOTHER, whenever we got sick or anything the first thing she would ask us was, "What have you done? Why do you think the Lord is dealing with you like this? Why do you think God let you get sick? What did you do? Were you careless about sitting in a draft? Did you get enough sleep? Did you eat the wrong thing? What did you do that probably brought this on you?"--Which is most likely!
       36. IT'S THINGS WE DO OURSELVES THAT USUALLY BRING ON THE ATTACKS OF THE ENEMY BECAUSE WE HAVE LET THE BARS DOWN, we have let our forcefield of protection get a little too holey, & we have let the defenses down. And just like physically & our health, our resistance is down to the attacks of the Enemy & we let him get in! I don't believe the Devil can lay a finger on a Christian unless that Christian allows him to in some way, by some weakness or disobedience or failure or lack of prayerfulness. I really don't!
       37. NOW "MANY ARE THE AFFLICTIONS OF THE RIGHTEOUS", I'LL GRANT YOU THAT, BUT AS I'VE OFTEN SAID, NOT ONLY DOES THE LORD "DELIVER HIM OUT OF THEM ALL", BUT THAT'S WHAT KEEPS HIM SO RIGHTEOUS! (Psa.34:19) Because every time the very righteous man gets the slightest bit out of line, the Lord lets the Enemy give him a good whack to get him back in line. I know it seems I can't get away with anything but what the Lord really chastens me or allows His Angels to, & I don't think He usually lets the Devil do it either.
       38. THAT WAS A VERY SEVERE CASE IN JOB'S CASE & HE REALLY NEEDED IT & HE GOT IT! Let me tell you, to wipe out his family & all of his flocks & everything & just destroy his health to where he must have been an ugly sickening sight sitting there on an ashheap scraping his boils with a broken piece of pottery, I mean he was a mess! And if anything could have ever humiliated him & humbled him before everybody, look at what God had to let the Devil do to him to get him down to where he was finally willing to confess he had no hopes at all & could not stand on his own righteousness at all, except, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him!" (Job 13:15a) Maybe you should put the emphasis on Him instead of trust!
       39. JOB WAS TRUSTING HIS OWN RIGHTEOUSNESS A GREAT DEAL, BUT HE FINALLY FOUND OUT THAT HIS OWN RIGHTEOUSNESS COULDN'T MAKE IT & HE HAD TO TRUST THE LORD! It's quite obvious up to that point he'd been trusting himself quite a bit because he was so good & so righteous & so legalistic, obeyed the laws & whatnot & thought that he could be found righteous with God. In fact, the implication is there that he thought he could be found righteous without God! You get the point?
       40. SO I JUST DON'T THINK THE LORD ALLOWS US TO BE TOUCHED UNLESS WE NEED IT & DESERVE IT! You get it? So I don't want to see these guys getting knocked around, & I don't want to get knocked around either by the Devil unless I step out of line & out of the forcefield of God's protection! I mean it! I don't want people to think that God is so weak in our protection & our Guardian Angels are so weak that they don't even warn us when attacked!
       41. USUALLY THEY WARN US FIRST OF ALL THAT WE'RE OUT OF LINE! Now if we go socking our kids around without even telling them what the rules are, how unjust & unfair that would be. And even then, as I've told you before, I warned my kids two or three times that if they did so-&-so, & I would usually then give them a final warning about the third time. I said, "If you do that again I'm then going to sock you without warning!" Then I would do it!
       42. SO WE JUST CAN'T GIVE THEM THE IDEA THAT GOD IS SO WEAK & HIS ANGELS ARE SO WEAK & WE'RE GOING TO BE SO WEAK, that we're going to be so vulnerable to the attacks of the Devil, even worse than in this life! I just can't believe it! Just like the Scripture says, I just don't believe the Devil can even touch a hair of our head or do a thing to us in any way!

       SPIRITUAL COMMUNICATIONS!--How Dad got the Gift of Tongues!
       43. MARIA IS SAYING MAYBE YOU GOT THAT FROM THE LETTER "DIFFICULTY IN SPIRITUAL COMMUNICATIONS". (See No.1846.) Well, I don't think I ever made anything seem that bad, did I?--Or if I did, I'm sorry. I've learned a lot since then. I know a lot more about things now than I did then. I did mention the fact that there are some problems in communication. Now the Devil, even when you're praying, will try to give you some static. He will try to distract you. As one preacher said when he was seeking the baptism of the Holy Spirit, his toes were on fire with athletes foot & he couldn't even get his mind off his body! His knees were uncomfortable, elbows too, kneeling at the altar, & he had so many physical distractions that the Devil aggravated & amplified & exaggerated even in his own mind that he couldn't get his mind on the Lord!
       44. BUT YOU SEE, HE COULD HAVE GOTTEN RID OF THOSE IN SOME OTHER WAY! He didn't have to be kneeling on a hard old wooden bench altar in some church building. He'd have probably been better off if he'd gone home & soaked his feet & gone to bed! He probably would have gotten filled with the Spirit in his sleep & been less conscious of his body.
       45. THAT'S VIRTUALLY WHAT HAPPENED TO ME WHEN I GOT THE GIFT OF TONGUES. I was praying for somebody else, I wasn't even thinking about getting the gift of tongues. I was praying for Ho & his busload that was going down to the capital of that State, & they were going to even pass out things around that stadium with all those footballers & football fans, & you know how violent they are! So I'll tell you, I was really concern-ed about that long dangerous trip in that old bus of about 50 people, plus all the things they were going to run into in the State Capital, with the footballers etc.!
       46. SO I WAS REALLY DESPERATE IN PRAYER & I WAS REALLY CRYING MY HEART OUT TO THE LORD, together with my womenfolks, & I was in bed. I had no other distractions, except the girls, & we had already finished all that, & we had our mind on our work & our business, the most important thing of all, & that was seeing Ho off & praying for him that he'd make it. And I was just praying in English at the top of my voice, more or less, & all of a sudden I burst into this other language, I didn't even know what I was talking about! But it just flowed! I didn't even have to try to do anything, it was a gift!
       47. ALL THOSE YEARS I'D BEEN TRYING SO HARD TO GET IT & I'd been praying & going to altar calls & "tarrying" meetings as the Pentecostals advocated, all-night sessions where you got so damn tired you'd go to sleep anyhow lying on the floor! I'd been seeking the gift of tongues, that was something I wanted it seemed almost above all! And that was the whole trouble!
       48. THAT'S WHY GOD DIDN'T GIVE IT TO ME!--BECAUSE I WAS SEEKING THAT INSTEAD OF SEEKING HIS WILL ABOVE ALL & JUST GOING OUT ABOUT MY BUSINESS & DOING WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO, to witness & win souls & become a missionary or recruit missionaries & all the other things far more important than speaking in tongues, which is a minor thing. It's a miracle, it's wonderful, it's thrilling, it's edifying, it's exciting & it's encouraging & inspiring, but it's not near as inspiring as winning a soul to Christ or getting others to win souls! Now which do you think is more important, that I should have gotten the gift of tongues years before?--Or the Lord should have held it off until I was really immersed in doing His will in creating you folks, in creating this missionary effort. Which do you think is more important?--This work?--Or a little play toy of the gift of tongues?
       49. GOD WAITED TILL I HAD THIS WORK REALLY ROLLING & WE WERE REALLY GOING PELL-MELL, REAL STRONG, with TSC & nearly 300 people & the message already out & rolling, & we had other Colonies, about five of them by that time. I mean we were on the way! We were obeying, doing God's will & the thing He wanted us most to do, before He ever gave me the gift of tongues! And then I received it without even asking for it! I was asking for somebody else, praying for somebody else, & boom, it just hit me!
       50. IT REMINDS ME OF WHAT THE LORD DID ABOUT THAT OLD RASCAL WESTON, THE GUY WHO FINALLY STOLE OUR TABERNACLE IN MIAMI. He was a very smart millionaire businessman, wise guy, he thought he knew it all, had been a Christian for years & a staunch member & big shot officer of his denomination. But my Mother said something that just hit him between the eyes in prayer, as she was giving a kind of an altar call in a meeting. It was a big meeting, there were thousands of people there & he was just one of them sitting on an old wooden bench. He had heart trouble, was about to die, & my Mother just told the people...(Interruption by Staff Member.)

       51. SEE, THAT'S THE KIND OF TRICKS THE DEVIL PULLS! That didn't actually hurt me, but the Devil tries to get you distracted, diverted, he tries to get your attention on something else or gets you to worrying about something! Now see here how the Devil interfered, using one of God's good children, innocently ignorantly interrupting this recording. That illustrates what I was talking about! The Devil just tries to give you a lot of static to interfere with communications.
       52. BUT JUST LIKE HE DOES HERE & NOW, GOD ALLOWS THESE THINGS TO TEST YOU TO SEE IF YOU CAN BE DISTRACTED, to see if you're determined & persistent & insistent, & what's the Word He uses about the woman pleading with the judge?--For her importunity! She would not give up! She was single-minded, single-eyed, she refused to give up! The Devil tested her, the judge tested her to see just how bad she wanted it, & she really meant business! (Luk.18:1-8; 11:5-10)
       53. LIKE MY MOTHER USED TO SAY ABOUT WHEN I WAS A LITTLE BOY & I'D COME IN HUNGRY DURING THE AFTERNOON & WANT A JELLY SANDWICH or a little snack or something! First of all, if I just ran right out again & forgot about it, she knew I didn't need it very much. But if I sat down there on the stool in the kitchen & kept aggravating her & annoying her & saying, "I'm hungry, Mama, I've gotta have something to eat! I'm just not going out! I'm going to sit right here until you feed me!" Then she knew I really meant it & I really needed it & I wasn't going to leave her alone or give her a minute's peace till I got it!
       54. WELL, GOD IS A LOT THE SAME WAY! He allows you to have your faith tested & your patience tested & to see how much you really want to stir yourself to call upon Him. I've talked about this before.

       55. ANYHOW, THE THING ABOUT DR. WESTON WAS THAT HE WAS THINKING ONLY ABOUT HIMSELF & HIS HEART TROUBLE. He was even having a heart attack right there & in pain & asking God, "Why don't You do this for me?" So many people want to know God because they want to see what they can get out of God.
       56. WELL, DEAR BROTHER WESTON HAD HIS HEAD BOWED IN PRAYER, PRAYING FOR HIMSELF, & my Mother was talking to the whole congregation of thousands of people. She said, "You could get your healing right now if you had the faith for it, if you really knew that God would heal you because you really deserved it & you really needed it. Maybe you need to get your mind off yourself & forget yourself & your own selfish desire for your own personal healing. Maybe you need to think about somebody else! What about the guy next to you? What about somebody else beside you that might be sick & need prayer? Why don't you lay hands on him & ask the Lord to heal him & get your mind off your damn self? And if you will unselfishly love somebody else & be concerned about their problems & their sickness & their healing, maybe God will do it for you then!"
       57. AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HE DID! He turned to the guy next to him & asked him what he was praying for, & he told him he had some sickness or something. So he laid hands on him & prayed for him & they both were instantly healed!
       58. SO GOD HAS A LOT OF REASONS FOR DISEASES! Otherwise he never would have learned that lesson. What God was trying to do to him was get his mind off of himself & on others & think more unselfishly about the needs of others instead of just himself & his own needs.
       59. SOMETIMES GOD HAS TO LET THINGS HAPPEN TO US TO GET OUR ATTENTION! Sometimes God has to do something drastic just to get our attention if we're too distracted & thinking about too many other things & the cares of this life & the thorns & whatnot, & we're not thinking about what we ought to be thinking about! We're too worried about this & that & the other & get our minds off the Lord & off of trusting the Lord & on our burdens instead of casting our burdens on Him & letting Him take care of it!
       60. WELL, I'VE BEEN GUILTY OF ALL THESE THINGS SO I'M NOT JUST PREACHING AT YOU! I'm just confessing my sins & telling you how God has dealt with me! But I'll tell you, it wasn't usually when I was really devoted & really concentrating on trying to do His will & really sincerely with all my heart trying to do it & doing it & obeying & trying to help others & trying to witness & win souls, & trying to get others to witness & win souls. I just don't believe that God allows either His Angels or Saints to be harmed--& frankly, I think we deal mostly with His Angels! I don't think He lets the Devil touch us unless we're pretty bad & pretty far out of line!
       61. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S GOING TO DO TO DEB & SOME OF THOSE, HE'S PROBABLY ALREADY DONE IT! He's already almost destroyed her children & her marriage & her happiness, & I think that guy's got her on drugs, so how much lower can she go? And then to write that book, I mean she is due for it any day! Like I said the other day, her time is always ready! (Jn.7:6) You used that Scripture or somebody did, but that Scripture has nothing to do with us. God has a time for each of us. I'm not a fatalist & I'm not one of those guys that says, "Well, you can just do anything you want to & get by with it. If your number isn't on that bullet & all that sort of thing, you won't get it."
       62. GOD SAYS TO THE WICKED THAT THEIR TIME IS ALWAYS READY, THEY DESERVE TO DIE ANY TIME, ANY DAY! But that's not so of us! God has an appointed time for us. If we do His will, He knows the future & what we're going to do & how we're going to do. And just like He told me, He'll not suffer me to be cut off before my time. He's not going to allow it! He can stop it! The Devil tried to cut me off a lot of times, but he couldn't touch me! And the only time he was able to touch me--if it was the Devil at all--was when I was out of God's will or I was resisting the Lord or not doing the right thing or got out of line, disobeyed, did something I shouldn't have, said something I shouldn't have or whatever.--Or He had something He wanted to teach me.

       63. THERE ARE SOME TIMES IT CERTAINLY IS TRUE, WHEN THERE IS A VERY VERY IMPORTANT THING THAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO DO THAT THE ENEMY DOES PULL OUT ALL HIS BIG GUNS & ALL STOPS & TRIES HIS BEST TO STOP YOU! Maria's reminding me of how sick I was last year right before the Poster Push. I caught something from the water or something, I don't know what. Maria says it wasn't my fault, but it could have been! I'm so guilty of so many things it could have been my fault. She's yelling in the background here that it wasn't my fault, it was an attack of the Enemy! She's defending me! Well, I'm not so sure about that. But anyway, I know it was an attack of the Enemy, that's for sure!
       64. BUT THE LORD ALLOWED IT FOR SOME REASON, & MAYBE IT WAS TO TEST ME TO SEE HOW DETERMINED I WAS TO GO THROUGH WITH THAT POSTER PROGRAM! Because I didn't let it get me down! I think I was only flat on my back sick in bed one day, but I got up & worked every other day, I kept going even if I was coughing half the time! I fought! I fought back & I fought my way through that thing & out of it!
       65. SO THE LORD HEALED ME BECAUSE HE SAW I WAS DETERMINED TO GO THROUGH WITH IT! Because it took a lot of determination & He wasn't going to allow me to do such a big project that was to have such an impact on millions all over this Earth unless I was pretty well purified by His fires, the fires of testing & purification, & I had my heart in the right place & the right direction & I was doing it for the right motive!--Not for self-glory or just to make the World look pretty or just to please the people, but to give them the Message they needed, like it or not!
       66. I HAD TO HAVE SUCH STRONG CONVICTION OF GOD THAT I WAS RIGHT & I WAS DOING THE WILL OF GOD & I'd heard it from the Lord Himself & He had given the pictures & that the people needed them, like it or not, live or die, come Hell or high water, sink or swim, I was going to get'm out, because I knew it was the will of God!
       67. ALL RIGHT, SO HE LET ME BE TESTED A LITTLE BIT TO SEE HOW WILLING I WAS, WOULD I BE WILLING TO DIE FOR IT?--And I nearly did! But I kept fighting! I think if I had given up I probably would have died, but I fought! I fought the Enemy & I fought myself until I finally pushed it through! But I think that most of my fight was with myself. The Lord was allowing me to be tested to test me & my faith & my conviction & my determination & my faith in Him & my faith in His Word & my faith in His vision & His Message! You oughtta see me, I'm waving my hand around & there's nobody here to see me! I can't help but talk at least with one hand! That's one thing hard about dictating, I can only talk with one hand!

       68. BUT I JUST FRANKLY DON'T BELIEVE THAT THE LORD ALLOWS THE ENEMY TO GET IN SO EASILY UNLESS WE ALLOW HIM! Now if Abner & I had been doing something wrong, disobeying, out of line & weren't doing exactly what God told us to do, then we might've deserved it.--Like the young prophet who allowed himself to be persuaded to disobey the Lord, he got it then, because he really deserved it! (1Kgs.13) He really knew the Lord & heard from God, he knew better, he knew he shouldn't do that, but he was enjoying this little glorification from an already famous old prophet who probably already had a very good reputation.
       69. THE YOUNG MAN WAS PROBABLY TEMPTED BY THE DEVIL TO FIGURE, "WELL, IF I ASSOCIATE WITH HIM, I'LL BATHE IN SOME OF HIS REFLECTED GLORY & I'll get a better reputation & maybe he can help protect me from the king & maybe I'll have some use for his influence in the future, & besides, I'm tired & I'm hungry & I would like to go to dinner," & so he went! Well, that was his last meal, he almost became a meal for the lion! But the Lord wouldn't let the lion eat him, he just killed him, that's all, to show it was a miracle of God. (1Kgs.13:24-25)
       70. I KNOW THE LORD ALLOWS US TO BE ATTACKED, BUT IT'S USUALLY OUR OWN FAULT & WE CAN'T BLAME IT ON SOMEBODY ELSE, NOT EVEN ON THE DEVIL! I used to tell my students in school, "I wish you guys would stop talking about 'The Devil did this & the Devil did that'!" They'd glorify the Devil as though he's all-powerful & he could get around God & all His Angels & everything else! "Oh, the Devil let the car break down, the Devil did this!" You've heard Christians talk like that! I said, "For God's sake, I wish you people would quit worshipping the Devil & giving glory to the Devil & talking about the Devil's works! You talk about, 'Oh, the demons attacked me & the evil spirits.'" I said, "The spirit you have the most trouble with is your own spirit, your own evil spirit!"--Not the Devil & not his evil spirits!
       71. THEY COULDN'T LAY A FINGER ON YOU OR TOUCH A HAIR OF YOUR HEAD UNLESS YOU LET'M FOR SOME REASON, UNLESS YOU LET'M IN! I mean it! With all God's protection & His holy Angels, hosts of Angels camped around us & a great cloud of witnesses as well, good spirits & everything else praying for us & watching us & helping us & everything, how could the Devil possibly touch us unless we let him?--Or unless the Lord allows it as a testing & a trial to see just how much we want something & how determined we are, how much faith we have & how much knowledge of the Word we have, how much we stand on the Word! I'm sorry, I just can't see the Devil that powerful!
       72. I'VE GOT A GOD WHO IS ALL-POWERFUL & HE RULES OVER EVERYTHING! He won't let the Enemy, not one of his little devils or imps or Satan himself, lay a finger on a hair of your head, unless you need it or deserve it or somehow it's warranted. I mean it! I don't want you to let these people get knocked around like that by the Devil!--Not even by Satan himself, much less little devils! No matter how big that devil was, I don't think he had any right to sock Abner, much less without warning!

       73. AND THEN THE OTHER THING I WANTED TO TELL YOU ABOUT IS THAT IN THE SPIRIT WORLD I FEEL THAT WE HAVE A LOT BETTER COMMUNICATION! I believe those Angels around us, if there were any danger whatsoever, could certainly handle it in the first place & protect us, but if there was an excessive danger that they thought we ought to be careful about, they certainly would have warned us that danger was near! I think they have consciousness of that & sense that sort of thing. We don't have to have a lightning bolt to wake us up to know we're in danger. I believe they've got so much radar power or whatever it is, & God's communication is so good in the Spirit World, that they would get prior warning before the Devil could even get near us!
       74. AND ALSO, I WAS A LITTLE SURPRISED THAT THE SPIRITS & ANGELS AT MARIE'S PLACE WERE SO SURPRISED AT OUR ARRIVAL! How come they hadn't been better informed? How come they weren't in better communication with Headquarters? Surely they would have been told we were coming so they wouldn't be surprised & astonished! Don't you think so? We've got to try to make this thing consistent according to God's Word & according to what you know that He would do & is doing!

       75. I WANT YOU TO MAKE GOD'S DOMAIN ALL-POWERFUL, SON! He is all-powerful in the spiritual domain! The Devil cannot do a damn thing or let one of his least little imps lift a finger without the permission of God! Now I mean it!
       76. NOW WHY DO YOU THINK GOD ALLOWED THE PRINCE OF PERSIA TO DELAY GABRIEL? I don't believe the Prince of Persia could have stopped him for one second if God hadn't allowed it. Why do you think God allowed the message to be delayed?--He was testing Daniel's faith! He was seeing just how persistent & how insistent & how importunate & how determined Daniel was to get the answer!
       77. I'LL TELL YOU, DANIEL WAS A MAN OF COURAGE & DETERMINATION & FAITH & HE STOOD THE TEST OF TIME OF THREE WHOLE WEEKS OF A DELAY TO THE ANSWER TO HIS PRAYER! God allows that sort of thing to test us & our faith & our confidence in His Word & our absolute certain trust in His power. Many times He allows us to be tested to see if we're going to doubt. Daniel could've given up after 3 weeks & no answer. He could have given up & said, "God, You failed me! Lord, I begged You to do this & that for my people but You let me down, You didn't do it!"
       78. THAT'S WHAT A LOT OF CHRISTIANS DO, THEY SAY, "LORD, I TRIED, I tried to be good. I tried to be a Christian, Lord. I tried to serve You, Lord. I went to the mission field & even got there, but I didn't make it because You didn't help me, You didn't see me through, You didn't answer prayer!"
       79. THE JEWS ARE EXPERTS AT THAT! "WHY ME, GOD? WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO SUFFER LIKE THIS WHEN I'M SO GOOD & SO RIGHTEOUS & I go to synagogue every Friday evening & I obey all the little Mosaic commandments, blah blah." They are absolute perfectionists at self-righteousness! And just think, they've held out like that for 2,000 years, still refusing to believe!
       80. BUT THERE ARE A LOT OF CHRISTIANS JUST LIKE'M, WHO SAY, "WHY ME, LORD? I go to church every Sunday, I put lots of offering in the basket & I try to be good, I try not to lie or cheat or steal, I try to be honest in my job & my work & my business, why do You let this happen to me?"--When they're not even beginning to serve the Lord or do God's will! Most of them know enough about the Bible & enough about God & certainly ought to know they ought to be witnessing & winning souls, & most of them ought to be on the mission field instead of sitting around in that damn church & working at some secular job just to earn money to support their family! Then even if they do go to the field they complain because they don't think God treats'm right or does enough for'm!
       81. WELL, A LOT OF TIMES IF THEY'D JUST HUNG ON A LITTLE LONGER & SHOWED THAT THEY WERE GOING TO TRUST GOD EVEN IF HE KILLED THEM, GOD WOULD HAVE COME THROUGH! But they didn't have the faith for it, they didn't have the patience, they didn't have the determination. They were not just absolutely insistent, like Moses was! Moses got so insistent he finally told God off & told Him what to do! (Exo.32:9-14) And the Lord admired him so He said, "You tell Me what to do! I'll do anything for you, Moses, because you really stood the test, you've trusted Me no matter what!" But then Moses turns around & does some stupid little thing in anger which the Lord had to spank him for & never let him get to the Promised Land! (Num.20:11,12)
       82. THAT WAS PRETTY SEVERE, BUT GOD HAD TO MAKE AN EXAMPLE OUT OF HIM, HE COULDN'T GET AWAY WITH IT! He'd done it publicly before all the people, millions of them, & the Lord wasn't going to let him get away with it. He had to make an example of him & show that he was punished, just like David. David didn't get away with it! He got away with it for awhile, he thought, till the Lord finally caught up with him & the Prophet did & exposed him. God gave him time to repent & confess & try to make it right, but he didn't! He just went on until he got nailed by the Prophet, nailed by Nathan.--Not Jael's nail that time, it was Nathan's nail! He nailed him publicly right before all! And then David knew he was caught. (2Sam.12)
       83. BUT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DAVID & SAUL WAS THAT SAUL KEPT GETTING CAUGHT & HE KEPT GETTING ADMONISHED & EVEN EXPOSED, & HE WOULD ALWAYS BE SORRY & CRY, BUT THEN HE'D GO RIGHT BACK & DO IT AGAIN! But David really repented & changed & asked God to forgive him, & the Lord did, but he still had to receive some punishment before the people, to let the people know that God wouldn't let him get away with it without suffering some kind of punishment, because he deserved it. So he lost his child that he probably loved the most because it was the son of his favourite wife, Bathsheba. Are you getting the point?

       84. I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE GOD LETS BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO US WITHOUT ANY RHYME OR REASON OR ANY WARNING OR FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER, except for some good reason. Either we've been bad & we deserve it, or we've been good & He just wants to see how bad we want to be good! As I used to say, sometimes God lets things happen to us to humble us, to make us humble, & later on He may let things happen to us again to see if we're still humble.
       85. SO I'M SORRY, I JUST CAN'T GO ALONG WITH THE DEVIL HAVING SO MUCH POWER HE CAN JUST SOCK IT TO US WITHOUT ANY WARNING & FOR NO REASON! Maybe the Lord allowed you to do that in order to make me give you this little sermon. Maybe some other people need it too.
       86. BUT I HAVE AN ALL-POWERFUL GOD WHO CAN DO ANYTHING & PREVENT ANYTHING & WILL NOT LET THE DEVIL GET ANY POWER OVER US! As long as we are obeying God & trusting Him & do not doubt & have the faith & rest in His Word, I don't believe God's going to let much happen to us except maybe a little test to just see how much faith we've got, how determined we are & how much patience we have, & how convinced we are that we're right to go ahead & do what we're doing or whatever. Savvy?
       87. AND I DON'T THINK THE COMMUNICATIONS SHOULD BE SO POOR IN THE SPIRIT WORLD that any General running this war is going to send people around on missions without warning other Units that they're coming! Savvy? He may not have to always send somebody in person to tell them, but for goodness sake, He's certainly got communication on His wavelengths, His broadcasts or whatever, that He can at least let'm know that somebody's coming to visit!
       88. I REALLY THINK WE NEED TO REVISE THAT CHAPTER A LITTLE BIT ON THOSE TWO SCORES! I don't think that it should be so easy for the Enemy to attack our own & God's Own & do them any harm whatsoever unless they need it or deserve it, & certainly in the Spirit World they ought to be in such good shape that they don't normally need it!
       89. DID YOU GET THE REASON WHY THAT SPIRIT GOT DELAYED & HAD TO HAVE MICHAEL'S HELP? I don't think he could have been delayed unless the Lord allowed it. I'm always putting the Lord first! I'm not saying, "Oh, the Devil did this to me, look what Satan's done, blah blah!" That's a worship & glorification of Satan. I believe God is responsible for everything, even the Devil! How about that? I kind of upset some people by saying that before. But He created him, He let him fall, & He lets him operate!--Why? Well, we go back to that old big question again: Why does God allow sin & Satan & this Hell of a World & wicked men? Why does He? I've given a lot of lessons on this, you ought to know by this time!--So we'll appreciate the good & have a choice to make!
       90. BUT GOD IS STILL SUPREME & ALL-POWERFUL & OMNISCIENT, ALL-KNOWING & OMNIPRESENT, EVERYWHERE! So He could certainly quicken the minds of those people to know, certainly in the Spirit World, spirits & Angels who should be in direct communication, in fact having a walkie-talkie with Headquarters at all times! For goodness sake, couldn't He at least communicate with His Own Angels & officers, as well as His holy spirits? Doesn't He have good communication with them right straight from Headquarters? He may have a hard time getting through to some of us mortals sometimes, because of our physical obstructions & distractions & waywardness & a lot of other things, but He certainly shouldn't have any communication problems with His Own spirits!

       91. SO I THINK CERTAINLY THOSE PEOPLE AT MARIE'S OUGHT TO HAVE KNOWN WE WERE COMING & SHOULDN'T BE SURPRISED! Now there is a certain amount of communication problem, it's not necessarily a problem, but it's an actual restriction of communication with mortals, because God has laid down the rules on that. They're not to have too much help in believing & having faith. Just like He said about those damn Scribes & Pharisees, He said forget'm! He told'm face to face, "You wouldn't believe if somebody came back from the dead!" (Luk.16:31)
       92. GOD IS NOT GIVING TOO MUCH PROOF, ANY MORE THAN THEY DESERVE, & THEY DIDN'T DESERVE ANY! Those who already have faith & believe, He'll encourage. Thomas must've had a little faith or he wouldn't have even put his fingers in the wounds! Even if they're a little weak in faith, at least they must've had some faith. Thomas called Him Lord, & He allowed him to have proof because obviously he deserved it. He was weak in faith, & the Lord tried to encourage him. But He said, "More blessed are they whom having not seen, yet have believed!" (Jn.20:29)
       93. HE WANTS TO SEE WHAT KIND OF CLASS OF CHRISTIAN OR EVEN SPIRIT YOU ARE, HOW MUCH FAITH YOU'VE GOT! Get the point? He's going to give you a lot more credit, a lot more reward, if you have to have a battle to get the victory. If you have a real battle to get the victory He's going to find out how much you want it & how much you deserve it before He's going to reward you with it.--And not necessarily give you all kinds of proofs & miraculous manifestations & apparitions & whatnot so you don't even have to have any faith, you just believe what you see & feel.
       94. THIS WHOLE GAME IS ABOUT HAVING FAITH IN THE UNSEEN, THE INVISIBLE! He commended Moses because "he endured as seeing Him Who is invisible"! (Heb.11:27) As far as we know, he only got to see God & His hinder parts one time in his whole life, (Exo.33:23) it took 40 years before he got to see any proof. He was totally defeated for about 40 years. The first 40 years of his life he was in the System in the wrong kind of education. But the Lord had mercy because He was going to save His people. And then He had to spend another 40 years trying to get him humble, out just taking care of sheep, when he hoped to deliver his great mighty Israelites, God's chosen people! He tried & he made a mess out of it & he had to run, he only got in trouble. So it took God another 40 years to undo all the damage the System had done to him & get him humble again instead of proud of his education & being the son of Pharaoh & all that sort of thing, or treated like it.
       95. HE HAD TO HUMBLE MOSES FOR NEARLY 80 YEARS BEFORE HE WOULD SHOW HIM ANYTHING! He never saw a miracle, he never saw anything, except God's wonderful creation, & that's all a miracle. He had to teach him how to lead sheep. It might have been good if he'd thrown in a few goats, because that seems like what he mostly had to lead. He learned about the goats later. He had to learn about the sheep first!
       96. THE LORD MADE HIM HAVE PATIENCE, TESTED HIS FAITH, BEFORE HE EVER GAVE HIM A SIGN! Then He started giving him signs when He thought he was ready. Moses waited 40 years in the wilderness, 40 years before he had a sign from God that God was ever going to use him. Would you have that much patience?--Do you think I would have had that much patience? I don't think so! I don't have much patience at all, that's one reason God has to let me get down & slapped around a little bit, because I'm very impatient, & that's a sign of lack of faith.
       97. SOMETIMES I THINK MARIA'S GOT MUCH MORE FAITH THAN I HAVE! I know she's got more faith than I have. She never gets down, she never gets discouraged, she never loses faith in me or the Lord either one! She's gotten a little discouraged over herself & her own physical weakness & her eyes & things, but she never backs down a bit on me or the Lord or His will for us or the work or whatever. Although sometimes I've gotten discouraged & wondered why God didn't do this or that or whatever, her faith is like a rock!--Especially when it comes to the Lord's work or me or God Himself.

       98. BUT THE LORD ALLOWS US TO BE TESTED IN AN AREA IN WHICH WE ARE THE WEAKEST SPIRITUALLY, SOMETIMES PHYSICALLY. He allows us to be tested to see if we are going to stand firm no matter what, though He slay us! I'm just trying to explain to you again what I've said a thousand times, what God's principles of operation are. I just don't believe the Devil can lay a finger on us unless the Lord allows it, & He certainly wouldn't allow it unless He warned us several times, & I don't think He would even allow it then unless we need it for some reason. You get it?
       99. MARIA SAYS THAT SHE'S ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE THAT LOTS OF TIMES I'VE BEEN ATTACKED & IT WAS NOT MY FAULT! But maybe she just didn't know it was my fault!--Ha! I am not going to blame it on God, for one thing, & I'm certainly not going to give the Devil the credit for it! I would rather blame myself than anything, & I'm more apt to be right blaming myself than blaming God or the Devil, that's how I feel about it! Why give the Devil credit for it? The Devil can't touch you unless the Lord allows him, & the Lord allows him to test you. He purges us like fire! He lets us go through the fire to get rid of the things that are wrong.
       100. DON'T TELL ME WE DON'T ALL HAVE THINGS WRONG WITH US MOST OF THE TIME! But on the eve of something very big & very important that we need to do, He wants to make sure we are ready to do it, so He purges out the chaff & the flotsam & the impurities & we pass through the fire, but we come through as pure gold ready to do the job!--Just like soldiers in training. What do you think they go through all that stuff for? They put them through all those crazy antics, running & jumping ditches & flopping in the mud & all kinds of stuff, climbing walls & ropes! They do all that to get'm in shape for the battle!--To get them purged of their weaknesses of the flesh & their disobediences & everything else & learn how to obey no matter what! Discipline & purging!--Those are trials!
       101. WHAT DOES HE SAY ABOUT TRIALS OF FAITH? "THE TRYING OF YOUR FAITH IS MORE PRECIOUS THAN GOLD!" (1Pet.1:7) And "think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you. But rejoice!"--Why?--"Inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's suffering!" (1Pet.4:12-13) Why did He ever let Christ suffer? "Though He were a Son, yet learned He obedience through the things which He suffered." (Heb.5:8) He let Him suffer so even He knew what obedience was like, & also to even know what sin was like, even without sin, because He had to suffer for our sins! (2Cor.5:21)
       102. NOW I'VE GOT A COUGHING SPELL & I HAVEN'T HAD ONE FOR SOME TIME! But my first inclination--maybe because that's the way I was taught all my life as a little boy--is to blame myself, I did something wrong. I was talking to Maria just now & she says she doesn't agree with that! She does not agree! See how strong her faith is? Maybe it's the weakness of my faith that I always blame myself first! (Maria: Yes, it is! I think it's an attack of the Devil!)
       103. WELL, MY FIRM CONVICTION IS I DON'T CARE IF IT IS THE DEVIL, THE LORD WOULDN'T ALLOW HIM TO ATTACK UNLESS IT WAS FOR A GOOD REASON! Either I deserve it for my sins, or it's to test my faith & determination, my trust, my absolute faithfulness & loyalty to whatever He's going to tell me to do. But He can use His Own Angels for that, He doesn't have to dig up the dirty Devil! I think it's got to be pretty bad when he turns you over to the Devil. Paul indicated that by that time it's a sin unto death. If He has to turn you over to the Devil, that the Devil's going to slay you in God's justice, give you what you deserve for your backsliding. (1Cor.5:5)
       104. I THINK MOST OF GOD'S TRIALS & TESTINGS ARE CARRIED ON BY HIS LOVING & FAITHFUL ANGELS, HIS OWN ANGELS, NOT THE DEVIL! I think if Job hadn't been such a severe case, He wouldn't have even let the Devil do that! But there's nothing God hates like self-righteousness! So He had to use the Devil himself to really bring Job down! Now I hope He doesn't have to do that to us or to me, but He almost did not long ago! I think that's one of the few times in my life I actually feared for my life & thought maybe I was going to die if I didn't get straightened out. Well, thank God, the Lord was merciful, I prayed & I confessed & asked God to save me & He did, so here I am!--Not for any righteousness of my own, but just because of my faith in the Lord & my love for the Lord that made me determined to live to finish my job. The Lord even through my own fault was allowing me to be tested & tried & to see if I wanted to live bad enough to carry on this work.
       105. HE COULD HAVE LET THE DEVIL TAKE ME! I WAS BAD ENOUGH, I WAS DISCOURAGED ENOUGH, I WAS DOUBTING ENOUGH. I wouldn't believe I could write that "Heaven's Children" Story, I didn't want to write it! He didn't like that, & He especially didn't like it when I almost flatly refused & started going the other way! Boy, I'll tell you, you can be a Jonah & He'll sure send a big fish to swallow you. But that was really Jonah's salvation, otherwise he would have drowned! He should have been thanking God for the whale, otherwise he'd've had to swim all the way to Ninevah! As it was he got free transportation, he can be thankful for that! He was praising God & shouting hallelujah, & that's when the old fish couldn't stand it & threw him up! So Who sent the whale?--The Lord!

       SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES!--Give the Right Picture!
       106. WE'VE GOT TO GET OUR BASIC DOCTRINE & PHILOSOPHY STRAIGHT REGARDING THE LOVE & OPERATION OF GOD & THE WAY HE DEALS WITH THINGS & PEOPLE, & make sure that we are teaching them things in this Story that are right & true & not off the beam! So you've really gotta dig in & be sure you're right, then go ahead! But don't just take my word for it, take God's Word for it!
       107. SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES & SEE IF THESE THINGS BE SO! And if it ain't necessarily so & you can't find it in the Bible, no kind of corroboration for it, I wouldn't say it! Now I have filled in a lot of gaps & a lot of things the Lord has showed me & a lot of things that I believe I got from the Lord & I saw. And I am so finicky about what God shows me that I even correct the artists & I say, "Well, that's not the way it looked! That's not the way it was!" And though the spaceship dear Eman drew was prettier than the one I saw & fancier, I figured, I'm sorry, but that isn't the way I saw it & I've got to correct it! Otherwise it's just not so!
       108. YOU'VE GOT TO BE A FAITHFUL MESSENGER & GIVE THE RIGHT MESSAGE & THE WAY GOD SHOWED IT TO YOU, & be sure you're getting your signals from the Lord & not from some other source, & that you're giving the right message & you're giving the right signals, & not teaching the folks something that...(coughs)...excuse me, I haven't coughed like that in ages! Well, you can blame it on the Devil if you want. I haven't yelled this much for ages either!
       109. ANYHOW, I WANT YOU TO BRUSH UP ON THAT & MAKE SURE YOU'RE GIVING THEM THE RIGHT PICTURE ABOUT THE WAY GOD & HIS SAINTS & ANGELS OPERATE & JUST HOW MUCH HE ALLOWS THE DEVIL TO DO, & let's not put the emphasis on the negative. Let's put the emphasis on the positive & how safe we are within His forcefields of His protection & with all His Angelic hosts to fight for us & the billions watching us & all the rest, how marvellously we get along without interference from the Devil most of the time! And I certainly don't expect him to be able to attack us like that without any warning unless we're really out of line. So let's try to straighten that out a little bit, shall we?
       110. IF YOU WANT HIM TRYING TO STOP US ON THE WAY TO MARIE'S, THAT'S OKAY, BUT JUST SHOW HOW EASY IT IS FOR US TO KNOCK HIM BACK ON HIS HEELS! Abner shouldn't have had to do a thing, the Guardian Angels should have done it, that's the way I feel about it! I mean, what's the matter with those guards that they weren't on the job & they let that shot get through? And how come they didn't warn Abner? Don't they have any communication?
       111. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH GOD'S INTELLIGENCE SERVICE? What's the matter with His radar & His radio messages & His counter-intelligence & His spies? Couldn't they have tipped the boys & their Angels off ahead of time that they were going to be attacked on the way so they'd be ready for'm? If you're going to have an attack, at least don't let it happen so easy! And don't you think really those other spirits & Angels should have had some signals & message ahead of time at least that some of those folks were coming & things like that?
       112. AND BY THE WAY, IF I KNEW MARIE WHEN SHE WAS A YOUNG TEENAGER, WOULDN'T I HAVE KNOWN HER FATHER & MOTHER THEN TOO? Then I wouldn't have been surprised & they wouldn't have been surprised & I wouldn't have had to be introduced to him like he was meeting me for the first time. If you can figure it out that way, that's okay, but that's why you'll find I insert in the text, since we were supposed to have known each other previously, that she was meeting me again, & I inserted the word "again" a couple of times in the conversation so it wouldn't give the people the impression it was the first time.--Because if you're going to go back into her past history by & by, then they're going to wonder!
       113. SOME PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS PICKING UP ALL MY LITTLE THINGS LIKE THAT & accusing me of being in Heaven only one month, going Up There at the beginning of the Tribulation & not coming back till the end & saying I was only There a month! Well, I didn't like that, putting words in my mouth, because that's not what I said! Now if what you say is a misunderstanding & we just misread it, or we read something into it that's not there, that's different! But we really need to keep our scores right & our facts right & remember that we're also not only dealing with the future but the present, & we want to make them synchronised so we keep things consistent. So do your best on that now to try to rewrite those parts there a little bit.
       114. I REALLY WAS THINKING & PRAYING ABOUT THOSE THINGS DURING THE NIGHT & it troubled my spirit about that incident with Abner & then about the folks at Marie's house being so surprised when we arrived. I really think our power is going to be greater & our communication better!

       115. SO PTL! WE LIVE & LEARN! BOY, I'M SURE LEARNING A LOT OF THINGS OUT OF ALL THIS! I never ran into so many problems before! I didn't realise how little we knew! But that's the way I feel & that's my conviction, & if Maria wants to preach her sermon, she can do hers on another tape! ILY, Mama! She doesn't want me to take the blame, or all the blame, because she loves me so much & has so much faith in me. But sometimes I don't think I deserve it, at least I don't deserve so much love & so much faith. But that's just the way the Lord made her, so she'd have confidence in me even when I didn't have confidence in myself. In fact, that's how it all got started! She had more faith for me than I had for myself. So that was a gift of God! But the Lord had to make me feel that way just to keep me humble, I guess, & have me fail for 50 years before I was ever really a success! It only took Moses 40 years but it took me 50! Well, if you count the time he spent in Egypt it took him 80. I was almost as bad, it took me 50 altogether from the time I was born. Anyway, PTL!
       116. OKAY, I GUESS YOU GOT THE POINT! And I didn't mean to preach you a sermon. I'm not going to say forgive me, although I'm tempted to say so, but I think it's a lesson we all need to learn, to have more faith in the Lord & His power & His protection, that the Devil cannot touch us without His permission, & then it's gotta be for a mighty good reason. I'm convinced that most of the time it's our own fault, but I will yield Maria the point, & I brought that out too, that sometimes it's to test our sincerity, our faith, our faithfulness, our patience, our determination & to purify & purge us & make us white & see if we really mean business!
       117. "THE TRYING OF YOUR FAITH IS MORE PRECIOUS THAN GOLD!" THE LORD LIKES TO TRY YOUR FAITH because He likes to see it prove itself! He likes to see you prove you've got the faith. He doesn't like to give you proof, He likes you to prove it. He likes you to prove it to Him! He had a lot of faith in Job! He knew Job was going to make it, that's why He let the Devil test him. But He knew Job needed to have a whole lot of stuff burned out of him too, mostly his self-confidence & self-righteousness. So Job learned his lessons & then the Lord relieved him, PTL!
       118. BUT GOD'S GOT A REASON FOR EVERYTHING & I STILL SAY HE'S THE MOST POWERFUL & THE DEVIL CAN'T DO A DAMNED THING WITHOUT HIS PERMISSION! And He's got to have a pretty good reason to let the Devil touch us in any way. So you'd better give him a better reason than that, than just the fact that we're on our way to doing God's will & trying to take God's Message! I'm sure the Enemy would like to hinder, distract or delay, but I think you should bring it out more that it's usually our fault if we allow the Devil to come in with his doubts & his delays & his distractions. Now that's a good lesson. If we're not going to have our mind on our business or we're not determined enough or we've got some things that still need to be burned out even in the Spirit World, well, maybe so. Forgive me for talking so long but that's how I feel about it! Some say let's give the Devil his due, but don't give him more than his due or give him credit for having more power than he really has!
       119. SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO ABOUT THAT "WAR IN THE SPIRIT", BUT I THOUGHT I'D BETTER MAKE YOU THIS LITTLE TAPE BEFORE YOU GET INTO IT TOO MUCH! I don't want you to make them think it's so easy for the Devil to attack us, especially when we're doing the Lord's will, & especially when we've got all these Guardian Angels around us! I & dear Abner, as important as we are to the Lord & in this Story as well, certainly ought to have a bodyguard of a whole troop of Angels on such an important mission. I timidly suggested we ought to at least insert a couple, I know we each have at least one guardian Angel, & I'm supposed to have seven, so how about that! We don't want the artists to have too much to draw, but at least I think you ought to bring that out, that we're pretty well bodyguarded & pretty well escorted by a good many bodyguards & Angels, & the Lord is not letting us be attacked so easily!
       120. AND GET SOME BETTER COMMUNICATION IN THERE SO THAT THEY KNOW WE'RE COMING, & SO IF THE DEVIL'S COMING WE'LL KNOW HE'S COMING! So I'm sending this back to you & you see what you can do with it in the light of what you just heard! I'm sorry I'm so longwinded but I've got to cover the whole subject! I love you & thanks a lot for your patience with me! You can thank the Lord for the lesson, no credit to me, I had to learn all this the hard way. Well, actually it's been pretty easy, the Lord wasn't near as hard on me as I deserved & He could have been. But He has had to teach me a few things & it's taken a few years to learn it. So I couldn't expect you to know it as young as you are.
       121. SO DON'T GIVE ME ANY CREDIT AT ALL! PAUL SAID HE COULDN'T HELP BUT PREACH THE GOSPEL (1Cor.9:16), he couldn't help it, he had to preach it, it just busted out like the prophets! They just couldn't keep their mouths shut, they had to let it burst forth or it would burn like a fire within their bosom! I believe this Story is doing that for you! I believe He's really anointed you & it's burning like a fire! And if you just make a few little slips, don't worry about it! That's why the Lord probably let you do it, so I'd preach you this sermon! So there! Our mistakes even bring good. "All things work together for good to them that love the Lord", do you still believe that?--Ok! Now work it over again! GBY! ILY!

Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family