The Children of God - The Inside Story

The Children of God
The Inside Story By The Daughter Of The Founder, Moses David Berg
by Deborah (Linda Berg) Davis with Bill Davis, 1984

PART ONE
Chapter 4

The Conception

When reports about the Children of God appear in the broadcast or publishing media, there is rarely any mention of the person who bears great responsibility for the birth of Moses David as Prophet.
You [Maria] were always the strongest.—You started it all! You were the strongest from the beginning. You prayed and talked in tongues, and all I did was interpret. You did it all—& the Lord—& I was just a poor weak old decrepit instrument." ¹⁸ The day after Teens for Christ left Huntington Beach, my dad began an adulterous relationship with Karen Zerby, now known in the Family as Maria. She was to become the Prophet's scribe and wife, the No. 1 Queen of the Children of God. However, she did not assume this role all at once; it developed over a period of six to eight years.
    My father writes much later about his first involvement with Maria in April 1969. The first night out, while they were all in this house at this meeting, you went to bed. I stayed out in the Camper usually reading or doing work or writing letters, and I just went back there and you were sleeping on the top bunk. I always kissed everybody goodnight, and we got to kissing goodnight, and ahem, we really got to kissing! And from then on it was love at first sight! (Maria: "Oh, it was love at first sight, before, when I first saw you!") ¹⁹ I remember when Karen first joined the group. She was shy and introverted, a rather homely girl with a bad case of acne and crooked, protruding teeth. My father's sudden interest must have been extremely flattering to her ego and marvelous for her self-esteem. His interest quickly led to lust, and they began an immoral relationship that has continued for more than fifteen years. Apparently Karen greatly needed personal attention, and was vulnerable to anyone who was a leader or offered a strong father image; she had already become infatuated with my husband, Jethro. My father recalls this incident: That's when you [Maria] broke down and wept and confessed you were in love with Jeth and what could you do, a man with a wife and 3 children! So I told then, "Well, how would you like a promotion? " (Maria: "The best cure for an old love is a new love!") So I dropped some pretty heavy hints I guess, huh? Ha, ha!
    Can you remember why you made the decision to come with us instead of staying there with a nice secure job? You decided to hit the road with the Old Rascal! (Maria: "Well, I knew who was the boss!") Ha, ha, pretty smart Leo; she came with the top Officer! So you joined us in the camper then.
    I'll never forget when we first met in Grandma's dining room: You came in for supper and you gave me that cute little kiss. You won my heart with that first kiss, honey, so soft and sweet. I thought, "Wow, she looks like a little prudish church girl, but she sure don't taste like it! ²⁰ The need for self-acceptance often finds expression in sexual sin and immorality. People have a basic need for love and the assurance they are needed and have worth. My father and Maria met on this ground and greatly complemented each other. Two very insecure people, they attracted like magnets, instantly filling each other's voids. I think I'd really given up on myself. I figured my day was over, and Mother [Jane Berg] had given up on me. It almost looked like God had given up on me because I wasn't seeming to accomplish anything.
    Then Maria came along, and all of a sudden I found somebody who believed in me! She just trusted and believed and I didn't dare fail her. So I stepped out by faith and depended upon the Lord and I delivered, and here we are!
    It was her faith! I'm sure when we get to Heaven, God's going to give her all the credit.²¹ Knowing my dad as I do, he never could have done what he has without the help of a "Maria" to support his fear and insecurity; he was just too weak in his character.

¯ ¯

Dad's fledgling group went to Tucson, Arizona, from Huntington Beach in the spring of 1969. I believe it was in Tucson that my mother found out about Dad's relationship with Maria.
    Mother, Dad, several family members, and Maria were all staying in their twenty-eight-foot Dodge motor home in the driveway of a friend's house. Jethro and I and our three children were staying in our trailer in front of the same house. There, an unpleasant crisis occurred between my dad and mother, but the whole incident was kept very hush-hush. Mother began to spend more and more time away from the motor home, passing her hours in the house. She was continually red-eyed, obviously from crying.
    Absolutely nothing was ever discussed openly about this incident. However, knowing my dad and his past record, I assumed that Mom had once again found him sleeping with one of the girls in their little group. At the time I only suspected it might be Maria. Dad's own account of the beginning of the adulterous 48 affair, confirming what I had suspected, was not published until 1980.
    During the summer of 1969, Jethro and I stayed briefly in Tucson with a small group of about twenty-five disciples, then we moved on to Fort Worth, Texas. Mother took another group to Florida. Dad's team moved to El Paso, and there it split up into three groups. He took one group of about seventy followers with him as he eventually went north to Laurentides, Canada, near Montreal.* Other groups from "Teens for Christ" scattered throughout the United States to witness and win disciples.

*In all his writings and among the Royal Family, the place has been known as "Laurentide," although the proper name of the town adds an 's'. 'The COG's usage, without the 's', is given henceforth in this book."

    It was in Laurentide that my father began to receive dramatic "prophecies" that would solidify his relationship with Maria and have immense significance in his role as "the Prophet of God." But Dad was in seclusion; none of the disciples really knew what was going on.
    Maria's role was crucial. It was very difficult for his own children to see David Berg as anything but father. For me to suspend that part of my intellect and belief—envisioning him as God's Endtime Prophet—was always a source of great doubt. To David Berg, of course, this was of the devil: doubts were always of the devil. Moreover, I believe this element of disbelief was even more critical for my mother, who knew all her husband's faults and weaknesses. Anyone who knew David Berg as a "natural man" threatened his status as a prophet. Thus, Maria's role served to affirm the prophetic persona in a way that David Berg's own family could not.
    The unseen powers of destiny were moving in the hearts and minds of David Berg and his followers. The seed of "a mighty prophet of God" had been germinated, and the passion of human faith and adoration of his disciples triggered the conception of an organization that would nurture his role as prophet. Fate would soon bring all of this together in a dramatic display of spiritual harmony, and the world would unknowingly witness the birth of a prophet and the birth of a cult.

chapter 5

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