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The Children of God
The Inside Story By The Daughter Of The Founder, Moses David Berg by Deborah (Linda Berg) Davis with Bill Davis, 1984
I was quite familiar with Fred Jordan's ranch in Texas, having lived there several times as a child. I can still remember my first preview of the Soul Clinic. Fred had designed the ranch to serve as boot camp training for prospective missionaries enrolled in his Soul Clinic program. He determined that if potential missionaries could make it at the Texas Soul Clinic, they could no doubt survive quite well on a foreign field. When our family first moved there, I was only seven years old and attending third grade. I went to a little red brick school building in Strawn, a little town about fifteen miles away. To get to school, I had to walk the three miles of dirt road that connected the ranch to the main country road. There the school bus picked me up. I had been instructed to walk carefully around the rattlesnakes that enjoyed sunbathing in the middle of the road. The property was originally owned by Jordan's mother. She willed the ranch to Fred with the condition that it be used only for the Lord's work. Apart from the brief stay of the COG, it has been used primarily for training missionaries in Fred's Soul Clinic ministry. The four-hundred-acre ranch lies one hundred miles west of Dallas. TSC has an extremely arid, desert like climate; the land is hilly, rocky, and dusty, spotted with the ever-present mesquite tree. It's a wonderful place to raise goats. The ranch buildings had been constructed on the outside perimeter of a large circular drive. Over the years, Fred had built three groups of cabins for the missionaries to live in. My dad had helped build one of the sections of cabins when he was enrolled in Fred's boot camp back in the early fifties. They had also constructed a very large dining hall that seated hundreds of people, a barn, and assorted small shelters. It was an ideal setting for a hippie commune. When the "Prophets of Doom," under the anointed leadership of David Berg, limped into TSC in the late winter of 1970, the ranch was in total disarray. It resembled a broken-down ghost town—a resort for scorpions and tumbleweed. Nothing worked. There was no electricity or water. The pipes in the dining hall had all burst. The walk-in freezer was in disrepair. The roofs leaked. All the buildings lacked heating. Yet, in spite of the primitive conditions, the road-weary band of prophets delighted in a place to settle down and call their own. For me it was like going home. I loved TSC the way a child loves her one-armed, torn and tattered Raggedy Ann doll. Making TSC livable was a monumental job. We procured thousands of dollars' worth of supplies from sympathetic businesses, and the disciples contributed many man hours of labor. Dad simply organized the project into our communal lifestyle. The early seventies was a time of communal living for the counterculture. Both hippies and Jesus People wanted to get back to the earth, back to nature, and develop a sense of camaraderie with their brothers and sisters. The youth saw this as their chance to build something, to make a home for themselves, and Dad was keenly aware of this desire. He organized the disciples and turned them loose. We loved it, and worked with all the energy our youthful minds and bodies could produce. But my father had other ideas and other goals; these were yet to be revealed. Life at TSC for the regular, non leading disciples was highly regimented. We didn't quite maintain the degree of discipline of a military base, but we came close. TSC was a lot like summer youth camp. Every person and every person's time were highly controlled; no one "did their own thing." A typical day's schedule looked like this:
The schedule allowed very little time for idleness: disciples were either studying, working, teaching, or sleeping. Ninety percent of the converts had come straight out of the dropout lifestyle, living lives void of discipline and schedule. For many, our strict discipline was a drastic and welcome change from their former state of lethargy. New converts were expected to learn nearly three hundred Bible verses by memory within the first three months; Mo considered Scripture memorization to be an integral part of discipleship. All new members were placed under the strict scrutiny of an older disciple. This was the "buddy" system. At such a time that they proved to be strong, mature disciples, they were no longer considered "babes" and were free to be on their own. This period usually lasted about three months. One girl told me in later years: "Oh, I had the worst trial of my life at TSC; I was constantly with my 'buddy.' I couldn't do anything without her. I couldn't even go to the bathroom alone. Beds were in short supply, and I even had to sleep in the same bed with her!" Ironically, without any prompting from the Chinese Communists, we unconsciously incorporated many of the same conditions used by the Chinese in their Thought Reform programs. Many of these mind-control techniques seem to erupt "spontaneously" in cultic organizations. We boasted that we were "heartwashing" new converts. Everyone who came to TSC as a dropout or hippie or college student left with a new identity. Everyone took a new name from the Bible—this was part of Forsaking All. God was making "new creatures" out of us; all the old things were done away with. A new convert broke all relations with the past, both family and friends. The break with one's former life had to be complete, absolute, because that's what Jesus wanted. This sudden loss of identity often brought deep conflicts for disciples who suffered the after-pains of leaving their former life- styles and families. This was why everyone had a buddy. When the older disciple perceived that the younger one was wavering and suffering doubt, he was right there to pick him up. Although it was never revealed, the older disciple often harbored the same doubts. By encouraging the younger convert, the older member strengthened himself. It was a good system that accomplished its purpose well. With each new convert who matured to the status of a disciple, the "Family" became more and more complete. A total sense of comradeship and unity synthesized this body of youth into a cohesive whole. Despite the things that one forsook, the Family was there to fill the void. TSC gave the youth a chance to realize the fulfillment of their dream of "dropping out." The lifestyle developed at TSC established a pattern of unity among the Children of God that has continued to this day. We were, in reality, a New Nation. We were not merely dropouts, a band of disorganized hippies; we were dropouts with a purpose: following Jesus full-time. We had left the establishment and all of its "damnable evils," as my father called them, and in so doing created a nation within a nation. On the ranch we talked much about being self-sufficient. We began planting a farm, and the disciples were excited about the prospects of producing our own food. Being self-sufficient was the goal of many people in that era: "Who needs society? We can make it on our own." But David Berg had something else in mind. He wanted to be self-sufficient, but not physically. His desire was to be cut off spiritually; to be isolated from the churches, parents, and government—from all aspects of society. That was his real desire. Thus, at TSC both the kids and Dad began to realize their dreams. We had successfully dropped out of society and into the reality of the Children of God. Our New Nation replaced what the members had left behind when they forsook all. We had our own rules, our own social standards, our own world. What more could we ask for? Dad originally organized the movement into tribes, modeled after the twelve tribes of Israel. Each tribe had a specific function: the tribe of Benjamin was responsible for childcare and education; Gad was in charge of printing and publishing; Simeon took care of food preparation; and so on. Following the days of TSC, the tribe concept slowly became obsolete and was no longer used. My dad had learned the art of proselytizing from Fred Jordan. Before long, we were sending witnessing teams into many of the campus towns of Texas. The steel of each disciple's dedication was tested and tempered on these weekend witnessing trips. We visited universities, parks, and concerts, anywhere youth gathered. An older disciple accompanied by a babe set out to find the lost and hungry sheep in society. One of the Children would initiate a conversation and ask leading questions to bring the conversation down to the heart of the matter: "What are you doing with your life? Are you going to heaven or hell when you die? Do you know Jesus?" This was witnessing. Children of God disciples witnessed for eight, ten, and twelve hours a day. Depending on how receptive the lost soul was, a conversation could go on for hours. The instructions given to our disciples were: "First get'm to ask Jesus into their heart. Then get'm filled with the Holy Spirit. Then ask'm if they want to forsake all and follow Jesus." They were invited back to the Prophet Bus to meet the rest of the Brothers and Sisters. While the salvation experience was fresh on their mind, they were challenged to follow Jesus full-time. We quoted Matthew 4:19 with universal implication: "Brother, Jesus said, 'Follow me and I will make you fishers of men', and the disciples straightway left their nets and followed him." In reality, many of the lost and lonely kids were not so much looking to follow Jesus, but for a place to belong. Our "Love Bombing" tactic hit them right where they were most vulnerable. We accepted people unconditionally and offered them something many had never known: a home where they were loved and accepted. The following is an example of a young girt named Huldah who left "all" to follow the Lord and join the Family. Her testimony was written during the days of TSC: I started taking drugs when I was in the 10th grade, three and a half years ago. I was selling large quantities of speed and weed for a long time. I practiced "spiritualism" during this time, was a medium and had dreams and visions of the future. I was quite lonely out in the world, so I thought that if there were a lot of people around, everything would be better, but that wasn't where it was at. It was too lonely. Things started happening really fast. I was offered a job as a secretary in Austin, by a man who picked me up hitch-hiking back to San Antonio. He was building a big shopping mall in Austin and needed a secretary to take care of his office and answer the phone. I started making a lot of money, had a lot of dope, and a nice apartment in a college town full of freaks, like me. I was making the 9 to 5 scene but wasn't liking it. But, praise God, it was all a part of His plan to bring me to my family in Jesus! I met a friend of mine, and we both heard about the Texas Soul Clinic, and hitch-hiked up there to see what was happening. What happened was that Jesus met us at the gate and we went home "saved" and counting the cost. We had had all the material possessions we had ever wanted, but saw the smiling happy faces and decided we had to "forsake all" and follow Jesus. All of our lives we were part of the problem. Now we are part of the solution." 38 Several months after arriving in TSC, my father turned another corner in his spiritual evolution. He received the "gift of tongues." The Book of Acts records the supernatural experience of the apostles wherein they received the special ability to speak in the many languages of the various groups of people gathered in Jerusalem for the Feast of Pentecost. On that day "Jews from every nation under heaven" were gathered, and the apostles began to speak the gospel to the people, "each one hearing them in his own language" (Acts 2:6). In 1 Corinthians 12 Paul speaks of the gifts of the Holy Spirit, one of them being the gift of "tongues," or the ability to speak in a language unknown to the speaker by the power of the Holy Spirit. My father had desired this gift all his life. He believed it was the mark of true spirituality. Yet he was fifty years old and had never received it. Then at long last, on April 29, 1970, he received the gift of tongues. At that time, he was living with my mother, Maria, and a girl named Martha, whom he had taken as another wife. He was still living in his motor home, which was parked in a secluded spot on the ranch so as to keep his private life secret. In March 1978 he recalls this miraculous experience in a Mo Letter entitled "Abrahim the Gypsy King": Three days I couldn't speak any English . . . I went for years and years and years and years wanting the gift of tongues, because that was such a marvelous manifestation to me, to think you could speak another language you had never learned! That was obviously a miracle, obviously a proof of the miraculous. But the Lord never gave it to me for years. I begged Him! I besought Him! I fell on my face before Him! I did everything! . . . He withheld from me the visible, the audible, the tangibly miraculous for years. For fifty years He made me go strictly by faith. I just simply wanted it for my own personal satisfaction as a kind of final proof to me that I was spiritual . . . He finally started giving me those audibly manifested gifts when I least expected it. I was lying naked between two naked women in the same bed in the back end of our Camper when I first received the gift of tongues." 39 According to his [Abrahims] own account, he was living with a Gypsy band we visited in Houston, Texas, in 1970, as the Gypsy king's counselor or guiding spirit, when he first met us, and decided to leave them and come with us for his own reasons. . . . It was only later we began to realize it was not David who was Abrahim or had been Abrahim or even with Abrahim in 86 some previous existence, as we thought at first. . . . But Abrahim was a Gypsy king himself, a departed saint from hundreds of years ago, who had come to live with us in spirit as our spirit guide and counselor! It was Abrahim himself, therefore, who was speaking through David. . . . 40 I remember when it happened. All the family members were called to Dad's motor home for a special meeting. We crowded in, and Dad was crying. There was some kind of prayer meeting going on, and it was explained that Dad was really "in the Spirit"—he had received the gift of tongues and was unable to speak English for three days. Everyone was rejoicing over Dad's receiving this marvelous gift. One disturbing aspect of this for me, however, was that as Dad spoke in his strange language, Maria would interpret what he was saying. Only she could interpret. Why was this so? It troubled me. Once my dad left the motor home and went walking about the camp praying over different disciples in this new tongue. He would then give the interpretation in English, often foretelling their future in the Family. It was a rare occasion for Dad to walk about the camp in broad daylight. For many people, this was the first time they had seen him. I came out of my apartment and heard people saying, "Oh, Dad's out! Dad's out! He's walking around talking to everybody!" Disciples were running from everywhere to see him. Needless to say, the young followers were awed by this miraculous moving of the "Holy Spirit." To them, it was as if God Himself were walking around the camp. Until I was conducting research for this book, I never questioned Dad's experience of receiving the gift of tongues. Then I began to put various pieces of this puzzle together. Until recently I held the opinion that my father was deceived primarily by his lustful desires and had been led astray through sexual sin. Indeed, that happened. But when I realized that his involvement with spirits such as "Abrahim" is actually demonism, I began to see things altogether differently. As I studied the Mo Letters that pertain to spiritual events, a Pandora's box of occultic experiences opened before my eyes. I re-examined many of Dad's "spiritual" experiences in light of this fact, and it became ever so clear that my father lives and functions in the nether world of demonic influence. His first strange experience occurred back in the early fifties when he was working for Fred Jordan. In this experience, Dad explains that he died and left his body, being visited by the departed spirit of an old friend of his mother, a "Dr. Koger." During this encounter, Dad had a telepathic conversaton with the doctor and decided to return to his body. He wrote about this experience in March 1978: "That was one of the most supernatural, miraculous, amazing, spiritual experiences I ever had! I died!" 41 For many years I shrugged off tales like this as products of Dad's incredible imagination. But my father's involvement with spirits, mediums, and the occult has deepened over the years. When Dad lived in London in the early seventies, he wrote several Mo Letters concerning his visits to a Gypsy medium and fortuneteller there; he referred to her as "Madame M.42 The Bible is clear in its warnings and judgments of the occult (see, for example, Leviticus 19 and 20 and Deuteronomy 18), yet my father is now actively promoting occultism under the guise of Christian charismatic experiences. A disturbing fact to me as his daughter, is that he has actually become a medium himself. A medium is a person through whom messages from the spirits of the dead are supposedly sent to the living. Abrahim, an alleged spirit of the dead, speaks directly through Mo and gives him detailed advice and direction. Abrahim is not the only spirit who speaks through my father; he was the first, but now there are many more. Not only has Moses David become possessed by evil spirits, but he relates that he has sexual experiences with spirits and goddesses. In a Mo Letter he entitles "The Goddesses" he relates the significance of these encounters. Each is the spirit of her country, like the spirit of their religion. It's a sort of symbolism: Aphrodite of Cyprus; the Cat Goddess of Egypt; the Black Girl of the African Nightmare; the bird-like Sun Goddess of the Nile; multi-armed Goddess of Egypt . . .43 When I began piecing these experiences together, from start to finish, it emerged as a nightmare of occultic perversion. Illicit sex and the occult have always been closely related. Satan's desire is to lead his captives into the bondage of spiritual perversion and sin. My father's degeneration along this path parallels exactly the pattern found in occultic practices throughout the ages. Author Dave Hunt explains in his book, The Cult Explosion, How does God give a gift of tongues? . . . interpretation? Why can't these gifts come through separate spirits? I believe by my own personal experience, that that is how I received the gift of tongues . . . Even though I didn't yet know it, I had received him [Abrahim] weeks before in Houston, Texas, when he jumped off that Gypsy king onto me. . .! * See, I don't know any of this, it's one of these spirits who are putting these things in my mouth. . . ." 46
Dave Hunt further explains: "A major purpose of 'spirit communications' is to refute what the Bible says about death, judgment, sin, hell, and resurrection." 47 What little I have quoted from the Mo Letters clearly indicates that this is precisely what my father is doing to his followers and to others affected by COG disciples. The extent of my father's spiritual deception, considered in light of his Christian background, is mind-bending. The tragedy is that his disciples, when reading the Mo Letters, cannot see what is really behind them. Over the years Dad has led them from one subtle lie to the next, interweaving these lies with Scripture and distorted biblical truths. Like mixing sugar and salt, they cannot tell the difference. For example, he writes concerning the ministration of angels and spirits, Well, if the Devil's evil spirits possess people and give them evil powers and evil tongues and evil wickedness, evil strength and evil wisdom, how much more should the good spirits of God give His good people, His children, these godly gifts and godly powers when possessed of the spirit of God." 48 When the practice of spiritism, necromancy, and other communication with the "world of the dead" begins to take hold among the disciples as did the sex doctrines, we will see far more demonic activities in the COG than previously dreamed possible. I believe this demonic influence will be most active among the children born into the movement. On April 29, 1970, my father most certainly did not receive the gift of tongues in the true biblical sense—as did the apostles at the Feast of Pentecost. Galatians 5:20 states: "The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; drunkenness, orgies and the like. . . . Those who live like this shall not inherit the kingdom of God." Moses David has blatantly committed all of these sins. My dad opened the final door of demonic influence among his followers through his interpretation of the baptism of the Holy Spirit. He writes, This all just hit me all of a sudden when I started working on Abrahim [Letters pertaining to Abrahim], God bless him!" 51 Moses David's most outrageous blasphemy occurred when he declared that "he is greater than Solomon." He writes, I don't see how I could be greater than Solomon. It's so simple. I mean, before I even got the words out of my mouth, Abrahim flashed across with: "Because of the gifts that God has given you!" I have the wisdom of all the ages. . . ." 52 Mo's Letters further explain the function of the spirit world and how God communicates to him through all the "sages and all the prophets and all the kings and all the great men of the past." Moses David advises his followers that to receive the gift of tongues, one must be willing to "yield." During the first year at TSC, Dad spent a lot of time teaching classes to a select group of disciples he designated to be leaders or leadership trainees. It was important that he train a core of lead- ership rooted and grounded in his doctrines who could carry on in his absence. He invested much time with about sixty to seventy-five trainees; occasionally he would give a session in the dining hall to the general body, but this was exceptional. The classes taught to his select group of leaders were tape-recorded, and subsequently emerged as Mo Letters. However, the concept of the "Mo Letters" did not originate until Dad left TSC in September 1970 to travel in Europe and Israel. It was then that he began to send home letters to members of the Royal Family with specific instructions on how to run the Revolution for Jesus. Little by little he stipulated that certain letters be read to all the leaders. Then he indicated that certain letters be read to "all the disciples." This practice grew and grew until everyone was anxiously awaiting the next letter from Mo. Hence, "Mo Letters" became the guiding light of the Children of God. It was also during his days at TSC, and his subsequent trip to Israel, that Dad began to foster his image as the "Prophet on the Mountain." His trip to Europe and the Middle East forced him to run his organization from a distance. He began to see in this arrangement a unique style of leadership. He wrote a letter entitled "I Gotta Split" in which he explained that in order to really hear from God, in order to see the "whole" picture, it was imperative that he go away—away in the sense that he separate himself physically from the feverish activities of life at TSC.54 He considered himself to be a "prophet on the mountain" whose only job was to stay in tune with the Almighty, so that he might faithfully direct the activities of God's Children. This, of course, gave much greater importance to his letters of communication. If he was hearing directly from God and writing these directions in letters, then the letters were like hearing from God Himself. Another key development in the spiritual direction of the Children of God occurred during Dad's trip to Israel. He had gone there with the express purpose of buying land and emigrating his followers to Israel. However, in a dramatic turn of events, he returned to the U.S. imbued with anti-Semitic fervor. It was rather shocking to his immediate family. Dad had always had a special fascination for the people of Israel; he always seemed quite proud of the Jewish blood in our family heritage. When he was involved with the Christian and Missionary Alliance, he applied to the mission board requesting that he be sent to Israel. But they rejected him, saying that he was too old and had too many children. (This is the story I was told all my life, and I accepted it as true.) Dad carried great bitterness for years over this rejection; he never overcame it. When I was growing up, Dad taught us about Jewish traditions and customs, the significance of the Jews in biblical history, and the importance of Israel in the end time. We frequently visited the local Jewish temple during Yom Kippur and often celebrated the Passover with Jewish friends. Given the demonic nature of Abrahim, Dad's violent turn against Israel and the Jews is not surprising. It is one further evidence of the evil influence that had begun to take over and rule his mind. God has said concerning the Jews, "I will bless them that bless thee, and curse them that curse thee" (Genesis 12:3). To be possessed with a livid hatred against the Jews is not at all in accord with the Scriptures. On the contrary, it rings of demonic obsession. These contradicting experiences never made sense to me until I became aware of Dad's deep entrenchment in the occult. While Mo was traveling overseas, the Children of God and the Christian commune in Thurber, Texas, began to attract national attention in the U.S. NBC brought their camera crews to TSC and recorded an extensive documentary on our unusual lifestyle. Jethro and I were left in charge of the ranch while Dad was traveling; we reported to him all the exciting goings-on, and he gave us instructions on how to handle the press. He was just thrilled over the sudden wave of popularity. The program was telecast nationally and provided a tremendous boost to our credibility with the American public. Youth from all over the U.S. drove to TSC to join the Children of God after seeing this program. Fred Jordan continued to help the movement during the early days of TSC. He owned a large five-story building in downtown Los Angeles that he turned over to the Family. Faithy and Joshua helped to pioneer this colony, and soon the streets of L.A. were producing disciple after disciple—youth eager for the op-portunity to "forsake all for Jesus." Our L.A. witnessing teams attacked the streets of Hollywood in force everyday, bringing home the lost and drug-ridden youth of the metropolis. New converts "forsook all" at the L.A. colony, stayed there for a two-week trial period to test their sincerity, and were then bused to the TSC ranch in a large bus purchased for us by Fred Jordan. TSC was our version of Bible college. While L.A. flourished, things in Texas steadily picked up momentum. Regular witnessing trips to Austin, Dallas, Houston, and other college towns were reaping many new converts. Teams were summarily sent out to pioneer new fields in other cities of the United States such as Detroit, New York, San Diego, Cincinnati, San Francisco, and Denver. The COG soon became known as the most tightly organized of the Jesus People groups and the most fervently loyal. This, of course, was due to the abilities of my father, and the loyalty of his personally trained core of leaders. Their zeal and dedication were passed on by spiritual osmosis to all new converts. Having a Prophet to follow, a charismatic leader, a personality who heard directly from God, gave tremendous security and stability to the disciples, both individually and collectively. Individually, each disciple could rest confident that our ship was being steered on the right course, because God's specially anointed leader was at the helm. Even though he, the disciple, couldn't really see the overall direction of things, he could rest assured that God would work through Mo to guide us to the Promised Land. Collectively, we believed our movement was much better than any of the rest, because God had seen fit to exercise His sovereignty and choose the Children of God as His special Jesus People group. Questions of doctrine and theology did not have to be wrestled with by the disciples of the COG—these complicated issues that tended to trouble the mind could be left to Mo to decide. The only personal struggle that arose was a decision to throw oneself wholeheartedly into the main thrust of the movement. Since vigorous, full-time dedication was admired and rewarded by the group, a disciple could direct all energies into enthusiastically living COG doctrine and lifestyle to the utmost of his or her ability. God was leading the body of the COG in a unique and perfect path, just as He did ancient Israel; consequently, one need only stay close to the Family, and the end of one's efforts could only result in the rewards of life in a spiritual Promised Land. Blind faith, naive obedience, irresponsible dedication, fanatical loyalty—these were the volatile chemicals of human devotion that ignited the zeal of the COG into a white-hot blaze of emotion. I believe that a vast number of youths who joined our ranks did not join primarily out of a desire to live the purity of the Christian faith, but were attracted and caught up by our absolute commitment to a cause. They themselves, without purpose or direction in life, were like pieces of dry wood placed next to a raging bonfire, and they were set ablaze and consumed by the fire of our devotion. We were a gigantic sales force, and contemporary social conditions made our marketing potential unlimited. The effects of the counterculture had graciously prepared a vast host of customers eager for our product: a reason for living, purpose and direction, freedom from financial anxiety, separation from the evil system, rebellion against established authority, a need for love—all in the name of Jesus. These youth joining the Children of God were committing themselves to more than faith in Jesus Christ. They were in fact submitting mind, body, and soul to the personal lifestyle of David Berg. There were those who did this unknowingly at first, but as their time in and knowledge of the Family increased, each came to a knowledgeable decision that they were following Moses David. Until the summer of 1971, the moral lifestyle of the COG was strict and puritanical. Dating was forbidden, as were kissing and holding hands. Sex was absolutely taboo outside of marriage. The only exception to this was, of course, Mo. But his situation was specially ordained and known only to the leadership. However, this condition of moral piety among the body of the Children of God was not to remain for long. When we arrived at TSC in February 1970, we numbered only 150. In September 197l, just a year and a half later, when we were thrown off Jordan's property, there was considerable change. The Children of God would number over 2,000 full-time members, with colonies throughout the United States and other parts of the world. The period of growth at the TSC ranch was a turning point in the success of the cult of David Berg. We would no longer be a fledgling band of nomadic prophets—we were a New Nation. Following the days at the Texas Soul Clinic, there would be no stopping the Children of God.
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