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The Family / Children of God
Amazing Thoughts Since I Left the Family
by Freeatlast
Nov 2003
Are you having doubts about the Word or about leaving the Family? Well read this and find out what happened to me!
This is written for anyone who has those “funny feelings” about any of the “new wine” that regularly comes out in the GN’s. Do you sometimes toy with the idea that living either FM status or completely outside the Family might be for you, but then you try to quench those evil thoughts and rebuke the devil. Well, read on and see what happened to me when I decided to leave completely:
Since I have no more ties with the Family I:
*realized that those “funny feelings” were not from the devil, but actually from the Lord! Jesus had been given me “checks” and nudges in the spirit to try to wake me up that much of the so-called “new wine” was actually twisted scripture filled with lies and distortions and probably given by familiar new-age spirits and NOT BY JESUS.
*I realize that just “believing” in something doesn’t make it true. Did you know that there are countless groups, cults, isms, sects, religions, and belief systems that whole-heartedly, without question truly believe that ONLY THEY is the real truth? These groups try to separate themselves from the “evil” world. They have their own “lingo” that only they understand. They have their own mottos and songs that they can rally around to keep themselves “united”. Did you know that the Family is classified as one of those groups that uses some sort of mind altering techniques (such as fear tactics, lesson sharing, camps, pow-wows, word time, memorization) to keep their members under control.
*I have since learned that the so-called “spirit stories” are just that… spirit stories. Have you considered that they could be coming from “familiar spirits” or even demonic spirits who are used by the devil to deceive and even blind the Family to keep them under his control? Remember the verse, “in latter times some shall depart from the faith… giving heed to doctrines of devils” (1Tim.4:1) or “false prophets deceive many” (Mt. 24:24). Do a Word study on “false prophets” using the Family’s own “Word Basics” and apply it to Berg, Maria, and the Family’s “new wine”!
*I honestly believe that when people join the Family, they truly want to serve Jesus. But I really believe that the devil uses the Family as a trap to keep honest and sincere Christians from really following God. Yes, the Family homes are worldwide and offer the opportunity for anyone who wants to serve God a place to live their faith. But, because of the Family’s doctrine, members are taught twisted doctrine and controlled. A CMer has to pay tithe without fail or else lose their status. You are told what to do and what not to do. You must “push Papa’s posters” or “push the Activated mag” or whatever the latest “push” is. Using other Christian’s products is considered too weak and unrevolutionary. You are given the idea that the Family has the best “tools” available… that’s NOT TRUE!
*oh yes, I realized that Berg changed his “tithing” doctrine and that he believed that tithing was pharisaical and only for the Old Testament. He changed… why? He needed more money. We were tricked right under our noses. Thanks Ed for that good class… why not read it! It’s eye-opening!
*realized that it’s an act of COURAGE to make a decision to leave the Family! We were led to believe that we were either “weaker sisters” or “old bottles” or that God will judge us for leaving “His best”. Well, if you are having “second doubts’ about staying in the Family, you should leave. Don’t stay. It’s never too late to do the right thing! What I realized was what kept me in the Family was MY PRIDE. I made the decision to join when I was 19 years old. I “forsook all” and pretty much “burned my bridges”. It was so humiliating to admit that “hey, I made a mistake”.
*realized that living in the Family doesn’t have to be for your whole lifetime. The GN’s try to give everyone the impression that the Family is the best place to serve Jesus all of your life, but that doesn’t have to be so! You know, the Family does give great training in scripture memorization and living together is great education to teach us to be unselfish, but it doesn’t have to be for your entire life! If you still believe that the Family has good teachings, why not just join fulltime for a year or so, then leave. You can use that training to serve the Lord in whatever capacity you want. You could open up your own home church, do charity work, volunteer for something, get a job and support missionaries, or just go on being a Christian and loving Jesus day by day… without feeling like you’ve left “God’s best” or that your were “weak”. Plus, living in a Family home can really weigh a person down and get you so bogged down with personal and personnel problems that there isn’t a whole lot of time to preach the gospel. Berg even said it in different ML’s… if a “home” is too big… get out and get the message out yourself!
*because I was on outreach and had made lot’s of contacts and had Bible classes going, I realized that sad to say I’d led many astray with the doctrines of the F. To be a teacher is a huge responsibility. Of course, not all that I’d taught was off the track, but when we teach the F.’s “new wine” we should be convinced it’s right and Biblical. I never had the faith to tell our sheep about the Loving Jesus Revelation… do you? How about telling them that you masturbate to feel close to Jesus because Jesus is horney for our love? How many people do you tell that to? Well, as a CMer, you are supposed to not be ashamed about those “deeper” revelations and are supposed to lead up to telling them to your sheep as soon as possible. Are you?
*but because I’m no longer with the F., I don’t have to worry about when and who to teach the “deeper truths” to. If a CM/FMer doesn’t have faith for the “deeper” things of the F., then they should check their heart to see if they should teach others. You have to be convinced of something, whole-heartedly, before you can teach others. If not, then you shouldn’t be living in something you don’t really have faith for.
*… which brings me to that exact point: according to the F. policy, a person who is CM must at the very least BELIEVE in the doctrine. Of course putting many things into practice, some people have difficulty. But the point is, why stay in a belief system when you really don’t have faith for what you’re supposed to.
*I feel that since I’m in my middle-aged life, I’ve wasted so much of my youth. When a person first leaves the F., they feel that you can’t turn back the clock and it makes you wonder what you’ve been doing all these years. I can honestly say that I personally was striving day by day to be a good Family member and a good Christian. But, I realized that I didn’t have the freedom to make my own choice outside of Family doctrine. Guess what… upon leaving the Family you will find that Jesus is still with you and He will be leading you day by day. You can’t turn back the hands of time… but you can truly start living a new and wonderful life REALLY led by God’s Holy Spirit and your own conscious.
*… which brings me to this IMPORTANT POINT: guess what, the F. is NOT the only place to serve God!! Hey, amazing, isn’t it? Right now, in all parts of the world, there are countless Christians and charity workers doing countless works in the name of Jesus or even just in the name of humanity. You can be a missionary or a charity worker without the Family! And guess what, you won’t be considered a weaker sister or a backslider just because you aren’t serving the Lord in the Family. I found out that the Family is NOT the “avant guard” or the “elite” in God’s eyes. God looks at the heart and the individual… not the group.
*… which brings me to the other point I realized… hey, we’ve been brainwashed. Yes, that’s right! We have had our though patterns altered to believe in a certain ideology and to have certain reactions to certain situations. We have lived in a very closed society and “fed” one-sided doctrine on a daily basis (aka “Wordtime”). You may argue that the F. is very broadminded and embraces other doctrines and incorporates it into their own… but it all has the F.’s “twist”.
*… why is it “taboo” to check the “exmember” sites? You know, that was what liberated me! I finally got to hear “the other side”! Doesn’t it give you any “checks in the Spirit” that there may be something the leaders are hiding or that they’re afraid of something? Not being able to see others’ point of view is too obvious… we were only allowed to “drink the pure words of David”… that is brainwashing, don’t you think?
*Do you wonder why the Family isn’t a “financial power” as Berg prophesied? Did it ever dawn on you that just maybe Jesus has taken away the blessings of the Family because of all the false doctrine, lies, cover-ups, illegal and even “borderline” dealings? It just may not be “our enemies fighting us” or “the attacks of the enemy”… it just may be God taking away His blessings. God doesn’t bless lies done in His Name.
*Don’t you feel something sickening reading GN’s that go on and on about “Queen Maria”? She desires the praise of man and is a control freak to say the least. Berg had his own way to keep his control… he just bashed anyone that threatened his throne and authority… the ML’s are full of his rants.
*I finally read Mene’s story and Debra’s, too. It was so enlightening… I suggest you read it, too. We in the Family were lied to about their situations. We never got their side of the story… only the prophet’s. Did you ever wonder what happened to Watchman, Singing Sam, many WS workers, top leaders who suddenly left the Family? Well, now I know… they just got disgusted with all the lies and cover-ups. They didn’t have a conscience to live what was expected of them anymore. Do you? Do you still have a conscience?
*Do you realize that Berg’s tactics was to beat down his leaders so they will be so humiliated that they either have to leave or just become a mindless, yes-man? It’s not about “learning lessons”, it’s about becoming a servant to the false teachings of the Family… a robot (isn’t there a ML called “The Robot”?). Do you REALLY want to become a robot?
*since leaving the Family whenever I meet someone new I don’t have to “evaluate” them as to how they could be a “blessing” to us. I can meet people for what they are or aren’t and decide to be friends if I so desire. It doesn’t matter what their belief system is or what their job is. While being a Family member I would consciously evaluate new people I’d meet to see what “potential” they might have. Plus, I’d have to even more consciously figure out if they were ready for the “milk or the meat of the word”. How could I “use” this person for support, stats, contacts or whatever to benefit the Family, without “offending” him or letting him know who we “REALLY” are. All of these things would go through my mind with each new meeting. I’m free to meet people without having to worry about all of that!
*Are you having “tests and trials”? Did you ever think that maybe Jesus is trying to wake you up and see that you are in the WRONG place? Jesus loves you and if you really want to find out if the Family is the place for you… become an FMer. And if the very thought of becoming a “2nd class” FMer gives you the shutters… then consider the possibility that you may be simply in the Family because you are too proud to leave. Is that a good enough reason to stay in the Family? No, it’s not!
*Oh yes, guess what I also realized… the world doesn’t revolve around what the Family is thinking or doing. Amazing, huh? Did you know that Jesus can speak to you even though you aren’t in the Family? Did you know that the Family’s prayers are no more special than any other Christian’s prayers… or even to anyone who prays to God? No matter how much you masturbate to Jesus or say “love words to Jesus”, it’s not going to make you heard in the halls of Heaven anymore than the rest of believers.
*Have you considered where and why the Family’s persecution actually comes from? Hey, I believe that the devil doesn’t have to worry so much about folks in the Family because like in the ML “they’re dead ones”! Yes, I personally believe that the Family’s persecution comes from its illegal doctrines that put the Family members in danger. Why do you always have to use PGP and keep our leader’s names “selah”? Because the Family has broken the law time and time again. I finally found out why Berg left America so quick… he had a warrant out for his arrest! Is that the type of religious leader you want to follow? Oh yes, he’s dead now… but guess what, Maria, your Queen cannot set foot inside America because of Berg’s name. Did you read the story that it was noticed she uses a fake passport? Is that who you want to lay down your life for?
*you say, “I’m laying down my life for Jesus, not my leaders”. Well, no you’re not. When persecution comes in the Family, a CMer is expected to stand on the front lines and defend their leaders and their doctrine. You are not defending Jesus. Jesus doesn’t need anyone to defend Him. The Family leaders prepare you for future persecution and groom you to stand up for them. They say you are defending the faith… but it’s simply only for Family doctrine. Did you realize that by standing up for the Family’s doctrine, you have to stand up and believe ALL of the Family’s doctrine since 1968? Oh yes, many things have changed over the years, but just like Maria said “we can’t recant because God can’t”. So neither can YOU! You are to defend all of the prophet’s doctrines and not be ashamed of it. Or else, you are considered a weakling and a “chink in the armor”.
*I’m willing and even proud to stand up for Jesus, but not for the Family. I would NEVER stand up for the Family ever again… I’m too ashamed. Standing up the Jesus and standing up for the Family ARE NOT THE SAME THING!
*personally, it was the Loving Jesus Revelation that got me the most. I tried all of those years to put it high on my closet shelf and I wrapped it up and up in a huge bundle of faith… but it just kept creeping out of my closet and haunting me that I wasn’t truly living the faith of the Family. I wasn’t revolutionary enough. I wasn’t sexy enough. Jesus only got close to those who had spiritual sex with Him. Guess what folks… that doctrine is about the most ridiculous doctrine on the face of this earth. Men don’t have cunts and never will and never have to imagine themselves as having one. God didn’t make a mistake by not giving men a cunt. Okay, got it? It’s a sick and perverted doctrine.
*Oh yeah, the “Keys” revelation, too. You know, this is in the same category as the Seventh Day Adventists building their whole religion on the “Sabbath”. Or the Jehovah Witnesses stuck on “Jehovah”, or the “Prayer of Jabez” people praying that prayer on a daily basis… it’s just taking out some scriptures out of context and getting too into just that message without seeing the whole message. It’s like Berg’s “All Things Tree”… remember, to get us all prepared for the sexual sharing revolution. Listen, he was a sexual pervert and was just trying to justify his sick perversion for young girls. He was a rebel alright, but he wasn’t on the right track.
*Oh yeah… sorry, but Jesus isn’t “horney” for our sexual time with Him. Yes, we are His bride… but hey, he’s the God of the Universe. He’s not horney, okay?
*the Family doctrines get weirder and weirder every year… especially around “Feast Time”. Why… wouldn’t you say it’s because Berg and now Queen Maria are desperate to keep the Family members from ever even thinking of getting close to the churches because then she wouldn’t have so much control over the Family. Family members would start mingling with other Christians and find out that hey, they aren’t so bad after all. And, hmmm... it looks like they’re doing rather well for the Lord… even without the Family’s doctrine and tools. Hey, Family members just may decide to leave the Family and join the god forbidden churches… oh my, how humbling for the Family!!?? They may even start telling what’s REALLY happening inside the Family… yikes!!
*Oh yeah, I hate to wake you up to this fact: the Family members are not the ONLY ones serving God and they are not the elite and they are not going to get an exclusive place in Heaven just for being in the Family. That doctrine is baloney! There are tons of nameless Christians serving God all around the world. Most real Christians don’t need to label themselves as anything special… “What God sees in secret will be rewarded in public”.
*I realized that the Family is based on the false concept that they know (or will know) all the latest and inside scoops of the Spirit World. The Family ingrains in you that they are just about the ONLY ones truly sold-out serving Jesus 110% (or shall I say 114%) in the whole world! Most other Christians are not as dedicated, not revolutionary, and just plain weaker and lukewarm. Don’t you honestly think this is a little bit self righteous to give this attitude to members of collective group of Christians? Yes, there are other’s who do it, too, but it doesn’t make it right.
*Do you realize that Family members are not supposed to question the “new wine”? Remember what happened to that sister who dared to comment on Berg’s Heavenly posters that she didn’t think there should be so many naked and pregnant girls. Remember Bergs rant… how could anyone even DARE to question the almighty prophet. So, how many people to this day dare to question the new wine… hardly any. Oh of course the younger generation can sort of get away with it as they are considered “new disciples” and are a little bit more free to express their opinions… but they are quickly explained away in “pow-wow” to set everyone straight, right? Movies are “pow-wowed”, talk times are times to hear any doubts and make sure nobody is going against “party lines”. You are taught to “absorb”… don’t question. Be more receptive to the new wine… don’t be an old bottle. Hey, wasn’t it Martin Luther who chose to question and take on the whole Catholic Church because he dared to question their theology? We SHOULD question and we should search the Bible for the truth. Not search the ML’s for the truth, but search the Bible to see if the Letters are going in the right direction. And yes, listening to your own conscious… yes, do it! Don’t be afraid to have your own thoughts. This is part of God’s creation… you are a free and individual being!
*Why not leave the Family now… it’s never too late. You will surely find some true friends out here. And if you so wish, your “flesh” family will embrace you, too… as they should! There is nothing wrong with being close to your “flesh” family. It’s God’s blessing!
*God will not bless the Family until they really come clean spiritually and legally. And you know what… they probably won’t ever do that. So, get out and start really living for God… outside of the Family!
*Do you still have the vision that Berg gave us in “Lost Horizon Found”? Remember the lovely gal who decided to see the world? When she finally left she reverted back to her real age and she died in the snow storm. Are you afraid that you’ll die like that? Do you still have that fear that God will judge you or that something terrible will happen to you like in IRFers Beware? IT’S A LIE… A TOTAL LIE! Berg wanted to control us and scare us into not ever even thinking of leaving. It’s a control tactic and it’s used to brainwash countless members of cults and even closed societies around the world. Don’t believe it!
*Did it ever occur to you that all of those “stats” you read on a monthly and yearly basis are not really anything the world (or Jesus) is interested in. Did it ever occur to you that maybe Maria and Peter simply want to try to influence you that “the Family is the best group in the world, doing the most of any other Christian group… etc”. Since leaving the cult, I realized that there are countless other groups involved in witnessing, charity works, Bible studies and counseling. The stats the Family uses are just to brainwash you into believing their fantasy of a kingdom on earth.
*Aren’t you tired of “trying to look normal and natural” while being “deceivers yet true”? Everyone in the Family is hiding something… hiding their true doctrine… hiding their weird belief system… hiding their past… hiding the weird unbiblical teachings… hiding all the sexual junk (sex with children, sex with Jesus, adulterous sex). What is Maria said “okay, now we’ll come out and say who we are… yes, we are the brides of Jesus and we fuck Him everyday. Yes, we masturbate and pray to get closer to Him”. Can you come out and say that… you can’t? Why not? What are you ashamed of? You know what you’re ashamed of… you’re ashamed to honestly admit that you really don’t have faith for that “Loving Jesus Revolution”. And if you are ashamed of the words of the Family… then you have no business being a member. You cannot be a member of the Family and serve Jesus by witnessing and doing “consider the poor ministries” unless you believe ALL of the Family’s doctrines. You know it, I know it and God knows it. God is waiting for you to be honest and just wake up to the fact… you don’t HAVE to believe all that garbage in the LEAST… just “come out from among them”… God will lead you if you will only admit that you are ready.
*You ask… “How can I serve Jesus without the Family?” or “what about my daily word time… I can’t do anything without the word”! Guess what… isn’t it in the Bible that “in the last days He shall pour out His Spirit upon ALL flesh”… hey man, that’s YOU! You don’t need anything else but Jesus and His Spirit! He will feed you and provide for you and you will become a STRONGER Christian than you could ever imagine! If Jesus is true… which I believe He is… then you DON’T NEED THE FAMILY OR ANY OTHER GROUP… all you need is Jesus!
*Do you realize that because of Berg’s teachings and now Maria’s that you are taught that just about everyone else is wrong and the Family is the only right! Do you realize how secluded and lifted up that makes the Family. Do you realize how ABSOLUTELY WRONG that kind of teaching is? The Family is like an exclusive club or secret society that only “special people” can join. Members look down on those “lesser” ones who are just too weak to make it. Berg gave you his vision of how the Family has a “special corner” in Heaven. How the “church” people wouldn’t like to be near us (now I finally understand why!). Do you realize you were fed that message that other Christians will have to be in kindergarten heaven because they didn’t learn their lessons on earth like “the Family” did? Don’t you see how perverted and totally baseless that teaching is? Can you see how it influences you to think that you are better, more powerful and have an “edge” on Jesus?
*The “official” message of the Family nowadays is that the Family allows its members to “follow the Lord according to their own faith”. Yes, since the Charter there has been a lot of improvement. But, let me ask you, what happens when you are having united “word time” one fine day and you sincerely don’t agree with its message. If you are an “FGA”, probably you’ll keep your mouth shut. If you are an “SGA”, you may make some kind of remark in the form of a question, but you’ll probably get the “hairy eyeball” from the “uncle or aunty” in the room. You have been told that “unity is the most important” and not to “sow discord”. So, you stifle anymore questions. After your word time, you try to ignore that “deceitful” thought and “keep fighting for Jesus”. Don’t you see, the Family doesn’t want people to question its doctrine… because if you do… you’ll surely find out that it’s not Biblically sound! Every time you bring up your “doubts” to your shepherds, it’s all explained away with further Berg doctrine and then you are told to “get more Wordtime” which means more “Berg and Maria time” to make sure your brain has deeper “grooves” of doctrine. Get it? If you REALLY could be “led by the Lord” and if the Lord told you to try something that wasn’t according to CM doctrine… than you have to change your status. Doesn’t sound a little “exclusive” to you?
*Did you realize that you may just be trusting in the Family rather than trusting in Jesus? How do I know? Well, when we left the Family, we felt uncertain, discouraged, lost and felt like Jesus didn’t love us so much anymore. Where does this come from… the Lord? No, it simply comes from living in a bubble-secluded lifestyle for so many years. Reading and absorbing Berg’s teachings put more priority on Family doctrine than Jesus and the Holy Spirit! So, when that false lifestyle is taken away… you stumble. Some people walk away not even believing in Jesus anymore! The Family’s teachings take predominance to the Lord, the Bible and the Holy Spirit. Using the famous message from “Green Paper Pig”… your faith is only paper and not real gold faith. Sorry, it’s only a “white paper cross”.
*Please think… it’s dangerous to put yourself at the mercy of someone’s (Family leadership) control. You trust that their control will be benign, but underneath that fake spiritual façade there is something very very bad. Beware!
*You say, well, the fruit of the Family is good. I personally believe that the fruit of the Family is because of Jesus… NOT BECAUSE OF THE FAMILY… it’s IN SPITE of the Family.
*You may try to defend the Family and say that they have never lost a court case. Did you ever REALLY read the final judgment from Justice Ward???? Do it… you will be getting a real shocker. Justice Ward never said that the Family was not guilty. The teachings of the Family are dangerous. The leaders who lied on the stand promised that things would change and the Family would be a safe place for children. What did Maria do? She said that she can never go back on Berg’s or hers teachings… “She can’t recant… because God can’t. That is a quote! The Family’s PR folks know how to lie real well. Do you want leaders like that?
*I believe that there are many people sincerely serving the Lord in the Family. But, as I said before, it’s not necessary to serve the Lord in the Family. You will get no bigger crown for doing so. Our rewards will be given to us according to our individual service to God… regardless of being in the Family or not. Being in the Family does not guarantee you’ll be “trained” for the “dark days approaching”. Day by day, people from all walks of life and all kinds of faiths are being prepared for some kind of purpose which only God knows. Just being a Family member doesn’t guarantee any more protection or power for dangerous times. Your personal faith has a lot to do with it… but even then… God intervenes when it serves His purpose.
*Why not read the testimonies of abuse of SGA’s on the Moving On site. Oh… you’re not supposed to… sorry. I personally never saw sexual abuse happening… but according to the ML’s, it was allowed. It wasn’t called abuse… it was called “freedom in the spirit”… “The all things tree” or “the law of love”. You may already have the assumption that all the people that have written abuse stories on that site are being too emotional or their stories are highly exaggerated, but you what, if even ONE of their stories is the least bit true, then that’s enough proof for me to make the decision to leave a group who says they protect their children. And you know what… there isn’t just one story that convinced me… there are countless! I am convinced that there were a lot even if I think I didn’t see it, I may not have recognized it if I did because of the twisted doctrine of Berg. In the Family, you are programmed to see things from Berg or Maria’s view. Believe me… most of his and her teachings are not even Christian.
*Hey, one interesting tidbit… I actually, for once in 28 years don’t have fear to go to my own embassy or talk to people from my own country (I live in a foreign country). Hmmm… why did I have a fear of going to my embassy? It wasn’t because I was doing something illegal, right? The reason is because the Family is on numerous “blacklists” throughout the world. Why… have they broken laws???
* I also (still trying to get used to it, though) am not afraid to talk to other Christians… even CHURCH Christians!!! Amazing! I actually have a desire to get close to other Christians. Why? Well, since we know from the Bible that the “church” is not a building, but the body of believers, and that we are to be in unity with the “body”, it stands to reason that is should be a healthy endeavor to make contact in some way with other Christians! What do you think? I’m not talking about meeting them and feeling superior to them because you are “God’s elite” or something… no, I’m talking about being a genuine brother or sister in Christ. There are quite a few “on fire” Christians around the world and they are simply doing what Jesus has led them to do… that’s it… I don’t think they feel so proud about it either.
*I realized that the Family has a “persecution complex” and world events, natural disasters and just plain sickness seems to have something to do with the Family. It’s too much, you know, to feel that God is judging this or that person, or nation because of what they might have done to the Family sometime in the past. The world does NOT revolve around the Family, but that is how you are made to think.
*I believe the Family is “The Matrix”. Yes, amazing how I can now say it. When in the Family we were given the message that the system is “The Matrix” and only the Family can see this. Well, I took the red pill and I can honestly say that I’m free at last!
*Now I can see the ML’s in reverse! Check this out:
Mountain Man – I have taken the mountain and left the dark valley of the Family!
Faith – I took the first thing that came to my mind (and left the Family) before the doubts of the devil came in and told me to stay in.
The Candle/Burn Free – The candle is my source of light and strength and is there to guide…I’m burning FREE now… Praise God!
The Benefits of Backsliding – I will take my experiences of living for 28 years in the Family and use them for good in my life from now on!
Green Paper Pig – The warning of living in a cult… the “white paper cross”… not REAL gold faith like Jesus wants us to have.
Did God Make a Mistake? – Same as above but also a warning to the “dumb sheep”… BEWARE OF CULTS!
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