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exFamily.org > chatboards > genX > archives > post #1219

Re: How could she?

Posted by marina on June 05, 2002 at 08:27:03:

In Reply to: Re: How could she? posted by Charlie on June 05, 2002 at 07:06:12:

HOW?
there are many other women who in much worse conditions have found a way to say no and change their lot. They have of course sacrificed a lot for it.

What you are saying totally trivializes those people. You say you 'feel' - -but what about the facts? There are facts that can be looked at, not the way a person 'feels' about a situation.
I think it is important to remember that if one is victim of some kind of abuse they are STILL responsible for the abuse they in turn dish out to others. Some people have tried to minimize that and eventually that is what led them out of the group. Some others just love it, and have been some of the worst perpetrators you can name.

Accountability and responsibility don't just disappear and need to be owned up to, whereas your way of looking at things exonerates just about anybody from perpetrating atrocious acts on so many.

Power and leadership have a price. Heck, there was a king who once abdicated to marry a 'commoner' (Wally Simpson) -- he left a crown. And that was not for severe abuse situation. This kind of attitude that excuses anybody for anything and puts 'everything' under the umbrella of abuse (one size fits all) takes away the responsibility of perpetrators and takes away the hard sought empowerment of the people who had a conscience and made great efforts to get out of situations where they could not, in conscience, survive.