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exFamily.org > chatboards > genX > archives > post #1651

Good news about your son - apology for the insensitivity

Posted by Acheick on June 19, 2002 at 07:03:36:

In Reply to: Taking responsibility posted by Angry and hurt on June 19, 2002 at 06:27:32:

That's wonderful to hear about your son. Just a fly's response seemed incredibly short-sighted and missed the underlying issues. How could a parent "create" a deformed child? I understood perfectly that the issue was in how you were delt with regarding that deformed child rather than you being responsible for the deformity. That was a very insensitive post and I apologize for that. No one with a deformed child should be made to feel it was their responsibility for the deformity. That is just exactly what the F. does.

I have heard this "you need to take the responsibility and get over it" mantra before. Who said we weren't taking responsibility? Who among us is not kicking ourselves daily for our stupidity? If it were that simple, we could just all go on with our lives and never look back. The problem is deeper than that. We're also talking about coercion and some sort of mind-control that is akin to the battered wife syndrome. Our self esteem was shattered and we were left feeling useless to God and mankind if we didn't "toe the line." Thank God my children do not have this attitude. I can still hear my daughter say, "You were just trying to do something good." She was so comforting to me because for years I spent so much time in depression about it. That's all it was - and when things turned bad, I had no idea how to leave, it's just not that simple. Maybe fly could take a tip - walk a mile in someone's shoes. I wonder if he realizes just how much depression goes on because of those mistakes and the foolishness we feel now.

AND, another thing I take issue with in Fly's post is the F. idea that Berg is dead and so are the letters, bury em forget em, go on. Balony, their whole foundation of law of love, a sexually charged atmosphere, communing with dead spirits, practicing some form of witchcraft, isolating members from outside influences and keeping them from outside family members is all based on those 70s letters (which by the way went on full speed ahead until his death in 1994). Fly seems to be swallowing the F.'s propoganda that they've changed and things are different now and they don't follow those things anymore. What a good ploy, the F. is so adept at that.