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exFamily.org > chatboards > genX > archives > post #1737

Re: The advantages of having a lot of children

Posted by porceleindoll on June 25, 2002 at 18:07:02:

In Reply to: Re: The advantages of having a lot of children posted by goth88 on June 25, 2002 at 17:43:35:

I just read both these accounts Acheik and Goth, and I was very touched. First off, I don't have a lot of kids, by choice, it was one of the first things I did in outright rebellion of group policy, after my 3rd kid I got on birth control and decided not to trust the Lord with it anymore (I had 3 kids all 1yr.9months apart). I was tired of kids, I'd been a CC worker for years, I'd been around kids for years, I wanted time to catch up with my own and also have a little of my own life.

But what you said Acheik about if you had done it right, in a large enough house with some sort of stable income, and just you and your family to worry about, not everyone else and their family in an overcrowded house with the ever present threat of moving, persecution, daily praying for your next meal or rent, I might feel differently about having more kids.

As it is, I am happy to wait for grandchildren to fill up the lonely hours of being older, if there are any lonely hours, I don't plan on being a stay-at-home grandmother, but to be there for my grandkids, yeah, I think I could do it.

But seriously, Goth, your story is sad. As a kid I went through times of separation from my parents, but nothing to that extreme. Of course, when the whole School policy came in during the 80's, kids were regularly separated from their parents, and I think it was a major mistake. I saw children lose the normal respect and connection they should have with their parents, and transfer it to their teachers, and I don't think it's natural. Then the parents were in such fear of us teachers that we were the rulers of castle, our word was final and we had a lot of power when it came to the kids, all cause we had been "trained" by Sara and Dora and the top.

When I think back, if I had been a parent during that time, I would have had major battles with turning over the parental authority of my kids. How many kids did the group screw up because of it? I don't know, but I do know that almost 100% of the JETTs in my care, who were all lik 8 or so when the school thing started, have left the group and most have very weak or no relations with their parents. What a mess!

When I finally had my own kids (late bloomer-24), a lot of things changed, I found I wasn't so obedient or instantly yielded anymore, my first desire suddenly became protecting and educating my kids, and I was very glad to have left the whole Tokyo/HCS/office scene and go remote and private.