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AD: "New Prophet in town. Seeks disciples"

Posted by New Prophet on July 03, 2002 at 17:59:26:

Hi, my name is David Jacobson, I'm 64 years old, a retired pastor, seeking disciples who will join a soul-winning army. Do you want to bring heaven on earth? Do you want to be part of the cadre, God's elite for the endtime? Do you want tobe part of the most loving fellowship on earth? Then follow me! Young virgin girls especially needed.

I'll be right up front with you: I have 4 daughters and have had sex with all but the youngest, who is only 6.

I will also let you know that I do run a tight ship. I am a loving man but those who disobey will be locked in a room with only bread and water for a week.

Anyone leaving my fellowship with be branded as a backslider and cursed with cancer and accidents.

You will not be able to communicate with family or friends unless your phone calls are listened in on and your letter screened before mailing.

We believe the Lord will return on Jan.3, 2003 and that non-whites are "cursed" races.

Those seeking to follow the Lord and win the world with love please contact me today.

I am a man of sins, excesses and faults, but I WILL teach you how to witness and win souls. I feel that more than makes up for any moral deficits on my part.

David Jacobson

(....OK, so the above is not a real ad. But if such a man does not appeal to you, why does David Berg appeal to you?)