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My legal advice to the Family

Posted by Legal Advisor on April 15, 2002 at 16:28:56:

In Reply to: Ha ha ha Does casper the ghost own the copyrights? posted by Laughing out loud on April 15, 2002 at 15:33:05:

After examining the pros & cons, I would like to offer my legal advice to the Family. Since you believe that the spirit of Moses David comes back to possess the bodies of his adherents and speak through their mouths, your best chance to defend ownership of his writings would be to argue that on a technicality Moses David is still 'alive' and still therefore the copyright holder of his numerous writings.

As witnesses to the fact that Berg is alive (for this will surely be questioned in a court of law) may I suggest that you bring Marilyn Monroe and Ghengis Khan to the witness stand. If you hire me as your lawyer, I am sure that I will be able to question Miss Monroe and Mr. Khan in such a way as to establish Mr. Berg's continued existence beyond any reasonable doubt.

If host bodies are required for Miss Monroe and Mr. Khan, would you be so kind as to provide them for the ranks of your present members?

I have given thought to the issue of Mr. Ghengis Khan having committed many crimes (genocide being not the least of them, and I believer there may be pertinent laws against rape and pillage still on the books), this may be used against him by's lawyers. However, as I am led to believe that Mr. Khan lived several hundred years ago we can probably exclude unfavorable lines of questioning under applicable Statues of Limitations.

I would not advise bringing Pied Piper or William Jennings Bryan to the witness stand. Pied Piper is still involved in a lawsuit of his own with the city of Hamlin, and W.J.B. is waiting for a suitably deep-voiced host body so that he may reopen the Scopes Monkey Trial.

I believe a case is possible. Nevertheless, I do have one small concern. I understand from your writings related to the LJR that masturbation is required to bring on prophecy and allow the voices of the dead to speak through host bodies. Might I require if masturbation is mandatory? My concern is that a Family host body masturbating while on the witness stand in order to give testimony, might somewhat detract from the evidence rendered.

Of course, selection of a suitable and sympathetic jury (should public masturbation be necessary) would be of paramount importance. I suggest we attempt to stack the jury with members of Abrahim's gypsy band.

Legal Advisor