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Re: nazi's, snakes, tares, and drug addicts...

Posted by ethicist on December 05, 2002 at 11:16:57

In Reply to: nazi's, snakes, tares, and drug addicts... posted by ray (reposted) on December 05, 2002 at 09:52:40:

I'm going to take a stab at making a few points about this cherub wings thing, and the validity of outing people like RF.

As far as Fam members doing 'good works,' Cherub and RF are probably pretty high up there. RF is by all accounts a nice guy, not a pedo, etc. And CW are not inherently evil -- no secret message there.

However, there are other issues to consider.

1. In the past few years, Fam members have been required to make several pledges of unquestioning loyalty to M&P. M&P have repeatedly requested that anyone who does not have that loyalty please leave the Family. So all Fam members have made conscious, on-the-record decisions to accept M&P as their fearless leaders, and accept that all they say and prophecy as the word of God. So if M says Mene is a demon and was never abused, Fam mebers beleive this. If M&P say exmembers who are critical of the group are Vandari demons, they accept this. If they don't, why the hell are they in the group? More importantly, by accepting to be in the Fam, they are agreeing not to voice any dissent.

So 'nice' Fam members like RF have to, by consciously deciding to stay in and support the Family with their tithes and silence, accept responsibility for this decision. They are saying, "Well, yeah, perhaps 'mistakes were made' (I love the use of the passive voice -- who the hell made the mistakes), but really, nothing that I can't deal with. It does not really outrage me." They're saying that berg's, M&P's conduct has been and contiunes to be acceptable -- not worthy of censure.

every Fam member has chosen to be unquestioningly aligned with Berg, M&P and their outrageous abusivedoctrines and practices. so they need to be willing to take the heat for that association. It comes with the territory. No longer can Fam members say, like many Germans did after WW2, "Oh, we didn't know what was going on." Every Fam member does know, or has every opportunity to know. it's all out there, the BI judgement, the Moving on stuff -- all there and available to anyone who is the slightest bit interested. If any Family member wants to know, they can. But most just simply don't want to know, and they need to take responsibility and accountability for that decision too.

So in my mind, just about every Family member is in some way responsible for the harm that the Fam has caused, and continues to cause. They may not all be guilty of crimes, but they are all responsible for helping support, and condoning what amounts to be a criminal organisation. they are not all guilty, but they are all responsible.

Now look at CW, RF, and SSU. they are not only Fam members, but they use Fam musicians etc., and other resources to make their videos and make money. They promote this pristine image to the public, saying they are promoting Family values etc. But the private life of Fam members at SSU is completely different. They are deliberately misleading and decieving everyone they work with. And making money from it, some of which goes to support the Family. Otherwise, why are Family members peddling the videos?

I'm rambling a bit, but the whole point to me is accountability. If each of us knew that we were going to be held accountable for what we did in the group, we may not have done it. Why are so many of us so ashamed for so many things we did in the group? Becuase there was no accountability. Berg, M&P deliberately created and nurtured a culture that destroyed fundamental concepts of accountability. "Do what you're told, don't think, trust, fuck, have babies -- don't think of the consequences." Look at the horrible mess we made, look at the untold horror and tragedy and destroyed lives that we were all a part of as a result.

So for me, it all boils down to accountability. Hold Family members accountable for what they do, and there is some hope for change, or at least minimising the damage they do. I see it as a way to break the cycle of harm. RF and co. need to be accountable for their lives in the Family. We need to help them be honest about their involvement in the group. Honesty -- what a novel concept. We need to help them see that it is not going to work to play both sides of the fence -- have this respectable Christian veneer while otherwise promoting horrible values and practices. They can't have it both ways. We are not persecuting them, we are simply saying, "Be honest, so people can make informed decisions. Stop the lying, the coverups, the disception. Tell us the truth."

so accountability is the key, in my mind. when I left the group, I had to come to grips with what I had done, the harm I had caused. It has been incredibly painful, and I'm not sure that the process will ever be complete. But I am sure trying to be accountable for what I do now.

So as harsh as it may sound, I feel that all adult Family members are responsible and accountable for the sins of the Family. they choose to be there in a position of unquestoined loyalty. those are the terms of engagement clearly and repeatedly set out by Zerby. and I think we are doing a good thing when we challenge them to be accountable for that decision -- to show them that most people in the real world find their doublethink to be repulsive.

Well, this is just a rant -- crudely expressed. But I am getting increasingly hardline about the relative innocence of the average Fam member, the vast majority of who know the truth and don't care, or who stick their heads in the sand and don't want to know. Either of these mindesets seems to almost guarantee that the abuses of the group will continue.

food for thought. Gotta go back to work.

BTW, whoever wrote this original post -- what is the "scriptural" approach that you made mention of?