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Jules it is impossible

Posted by lydia on December 12, 2002 at 11:24:52

In Reply to: Moving On posted by Jules on December 12, 2002 at 00:14:17:

For parents to recognise how much you suffer untill they see how evil they are in the group.

For me when I first came out, everything was just so positive in my mind, I was so condition to that ridiculous mind set that 'everything happens is God's will'. It wasn't until I realised what sin was, that I became aghast at my own self. Suddenly the scales fell off my eyes and I saw how much I had put my kids through. Now I thought I had protected and kept them quite safe in the family. I had no idea how much they had gone through. It wasn't until I started confessing and apoligising to them for my behaviour, and admitting how wrong I had been, that they became confident to share with me their hearts in the matter. When my oldest daughter told me of her being molested my an older man in the family, a man everyone trusted (if the Abrahim Irish guy is still in Thailand, people should be warned) I just went crazy. I was so upset, and upset that all these years she hadn't told anyone because she thought that he had the power to do so. That she had no right to say no. I wept with her and told her if that guy comes to Australia, were taking him to jail. I felt I belonged in jail for not being aware of her dilema, although I had noticed a mark change in her after Thailand. She's had to overcome so much, and still has a long way to go, all my older kids do. The boys were relieved to realise that the jealousy and outrage they felt when their mom had shared with other men, was not wrong, but that I had been wrong to do so.

There are still people on the boards who are not outraged over Davidito's sexual abuse by Sarah and the people around him. He should have been protected, instead was used as a sexual experiment and not one voice that I know of cried out against his treatment when "little fish' came out. I still weep over that. I just can't imagine where my mind was that I could be so numb that I wouldn't call the police, warn Interpol do something to stop what was going on. Pleasure in unrighteousness, that's what the Bible says numbs us so that we believe a lie.

Even with Mene, it sickens me to think I didn't open my mouth. My daughter had nightmares about that letter. So terrified to daydream, thinking she was going to get what Mene did.

We finally left because of our kids, I just couldn't take letting other people 'deal' with them. I'm so thankful we did. the younger ones are so natural and normal, they get to dream about what they want to do when they grow up, they collect cards and watch movies without it being paused, and they still love God, without me beating them over the head with memorisation.

All that to say is you are right, and I feel so sad that parents can't gather the courage to confront their own evil, so they can help their children, who they owe everything to(for bringing them into the mess of the family) in every way possible.

All the best.