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exFamily.org > chatboards > genX > archives > post #6662

ewww- I beg to differ

Posted by Acheick on December 19, 2002 at 09:16:41

In Reply to: Re: Yes what about it ? posted by porceleindoll on December 18, 2002 at 21:55:38:

First of all, this is not making excuses for mine or anyone's actions, however, I do believe there are people trapped in that group. In particular, women and children. And if not physically, mentally at least. I was one of those people. I still so vividly remember wanting to leave the group in 1977, but being pregnant with my fourth child and a husband who would never hear of it, on top of that we were living in another country, what was I to do? I had joined at 21, I had grown up in the group, I had no idea how to manage a bank account, how to rent a house, how to buy a car. I was at a loss as to how to take care of 4 children on my own. And even if I were to get past all that, take some offer of help perhaps, there was still all the mental conditioning to get past. I was terrified of disobeying God and worse, God’s prophet. I was terrified of raising my children “in the system.” How ironic that I would worry about that and decide to stay in the group for the sake of my kids - that was at least one reason. And what about the children who had no decision to join? I often think about the kids who have to leave whole families behind in order to embark on their own. I’m not sure I would have that much courage and I’ve seen in my own family, kids go back because of that very reason. They go back because they are lonely and they are comfortable with the alternative lifestyle they wree raised in.

I do think there are traps in place and that, at least, is a real cause of concern to me for these people. Women for the most part are dis-empowered. They have no earning power, no control over their finances, their movements are controlled by their spouses, they have no decision-making powers. Especially when they have one child after another. They really end up “pregnant, barefoot and in the kitchen.”

I know you relate to all this and you have been through so much, I am not criticizing you at all. In the end, you are right, the decision is up to the individual and yes, they have made a decision to join. But it is not always that simple. I do believe there ARE people in the group who know just what they are doing and relish in it, because it is their basic nature and they’d carry on in that fashion no matter where they were or who they were with. But if the leadership and hierarchy were dismantled, at least they wouldn’t be affecting so many people on such a large scale. That’s what concerns me. There are so many troubles and pitfalls in life, why add to that with someone over you making sure to add a few more woes and all in the guise of guiding you to a closer relationship to God and being a better Christian. They are all false prophets. The sexual abuses that continue on are next to criminal, IMO.