From now on l shall be posting under my real name,Mark. I used Just a Thought as a pseudonym because l was desperate to make contact with my son and was very afraid that if the f connected me with JAT it would jeopardise that chance. Thanfully my son is now out and the need for secrecy has gone.
My son and l have had many many long conversations about our lives and the f, l was kicked out of the f when he was just a baby so we have had, still have, a lifetime to catch up on.Talking to him has given me even greater insight into how totally screwed up they are. My son is eighteen and his views are pretty much the same as the vast majority of teens. Here are a few things l have gleaned:
"In order to live anything like a "normal" life or have any fun you have to lie constantly otherwise life is shit"
"I know of at least four suicides two of them were by people who were close to me and the other two l had met"
"No teen reads all the mailings, they're so tedious, you can usually bluff your way by reading the headings"
"The LJR thing is totally weird, no one follows it teen or adult"
"The best way to survive is to keep your mouth shut"
"Those teens who are really gung ho about family life are a definite minority"
"We all know that sexual abuse took place"
"I'm glad l was born a guy otherwise l would have been abused"
"Family life is so boring once your chores are done you just hang around the home doing nothing"
Pretty depressing huh. My son is an intelligent young man who should be ready to embark upon adulthood armed with the wherewithal to make something of his life. As it is he has a totally useless "high school diploma" which only goes up to junior high level. He's half Japanese and spent his whole life in Japan but was never taught the language. He was never told that he had a father who loved him dearly but was refused even a humble request for a photograph of him nor that his father was constantly trying to make contact. He never equated having his mouth taped up as a punishment with abuse, for him it was normal. His stepfather once thrashed him with a bamboo cane so severely that he had wheal marks over whis whole body for days. He hit sixteen and stepfather kicked him out of their home, when he returned because he couldn't stand being exploited by those in the home he was sent to he was dumped on the top of a mountain with a tent, but no sleeping bag, and was told that "l'm going to pray about you son" This was at the end of September and he was too terrified to sleep in case he died of exposure and spent the whole night running around, jumping up and down on the spot to fight off the cold. It was at this point that he decided that he would get out as soon as he could. My blood runs cold when l think of how he has been treated, l just hope that the insanity ends soon and l will do all l can to bring it to an end.