In Reply to: Re: The F. at its best posted by Acheick on January 20, 2003 at 09:11:25:
A lot like that does happen to people in the system. And some things worse. The difference is, imo, after getting out of a cult, (comparable to domestic violence and sexual abuses in the worst degrees)is that a person can begin to learn that they now have choices, then begin to exercise them. It is a process. I know that closure can be had without a person getting the words they need from the offender/perpetrator, i.e. Berg who is dead and went to the grave twisted and insane and as perverted as ever. Or from that persons particular perpetrator(s). I also know that it is very wonderful for people who are survivors to receive acknowledgement from the abusers regarding the abuses. In many cases, system and cult, this does not happen. Not with any sincerity or without excuses. Usually WITH blatant accusations against their victims, and calling them liars.
On the other hand, it is imo, abusive and ludicrous to lump all FGAs as perpetrators of the SGAs simply for membership, tithe paying or whatever while under the influence of that group. I think it is actually DAMAGING to ALL to do so. It discounts the damage done to FGAs who are recovering and (also imo) impedes the healing of SGAs by unintentionally underscoring their abuse as categorically unique and damaging with little hope of repair. For whatever reason, some choose to see a post like this as discounting them. But I know my own heart. I know I have worked with kids in the "system" who have survived horrors beyond the worst I have heard about within the family. And they are making it today. If you want me to be graphic in description, I will be. But that may feel to some like it is discounting their own pain. This is not my intention. I vote for healing. There are many routes to that, but for each person it is an individual route.