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exFamily.org > chatboards > genX > archives > post #7115

Re: How do we measure guilt and blame

Posted by Rocky on January 22, 2003 at 23:18:25

In Reply to: Re: How do we measure guilt and blame posted by goth88 on January 22, 2003 at 15:01:16:

Hi Goth:

These are my own views regarding these issues. They obviously reflect training and influences I have had within the field I work in. I would rather not get into the credential piece but you asked so here they are.
My credentials are over five years of post secondary education in fully accredited institutions. I have three associate degrees in Criminology, Child and Youth counselling and Social Science Studies, a Criminal Justice certificte and a certicicate in health services management. For ten years I have managed a behavioural assessment program on contract for the British Columbia Ministry of Children and Family Development in the child protection area. Our Program provides residential services, behaviour stabilization and various formal assessments for children taken into governmental care due to abuse, neglect and other serious issues. All of our clients are very high profile children who need a great deal of support to survive their life experience. 40% of our clients have been serious victims of criminal sexual and violent physical abuse. The current designation for my job requires a BSW level degree or preferably a masters level in social sciences or social work. I have been given a waiver and the equivancy to that credential by my employer and the government contract funding agent because of the combination of my education, long work experience and speciality in the area of behaviour assessment and management. I work for one of the largest and most respected non profit social service agencies and government partners in BC Canada. I can back these credetials up through my job description, work related references and the fact that my program has a budget in the many hundreds of thousands of dollars and is a critical line resource in the child protection system. I work as the coordinator of a program that is composed of a team of skilled caregivers, childcare workers, therapeutic counsellors, a psychologist and a clinical supervisor. I also teach behaviour intervention strategy and speak publically in forums and venues dealing with sexual abuse issues. Ed Priebe also knows me and can confirm the work I do.

I am not saying this to be proud or justify my opinions but you asked. I worked my ass of night and day for years to get through full time course loads while working full time in orderto support my family and to develop the skills to do what I do. I am not ashamed of my work and I am thankful that I was able to have a shot at rebuilding my life.

I am only human but I try to pay attention to the content. I felt my comments regarding Thinker's posts were reasonable. I think any grayness in accepting and validating the surviviors of abuse is not acceptable whether by intent or accident. It does not mean that Thinker is a bad person or neccesarily was without good points. I do not try to come across as an expert. I am speaking from my heart and experiences. I use this language every day in meetings and reports and I can't help at times in using stuff from my areas of training and field of work. It happens. I also feel the points are valid. I appreciate and understand your reference to working/ seeing psych issues as that is a part of the work I do also. I just hope you were not implying that I am attempting to be a leader here. That would be untrue as it is the last thing I want to be here. I have enough pressure in my job to last many lifetimes.

In my eyes you already belong, are approved of and have value in who you are and what you say. I honestly do not see a whole lot of difference in the levels of victimization that many women FGA's and Sgs suffered in the family. Each has validation in my opinion. There are so many different aspects of the abuse suffered in the family as it is multi-dimensional and not easy to sort out in nice even patterns. I also don't like Karmic comparison because it reminds me of the family in that they always layed the trip that if you made a mistake or did something wrong God would go around and come around and get you. Each of us should know what we need to accept resposibility for. Collective guilt for me really has translated into individual responsibility, acceptance, correction and renewal. Perhaps you need not accept any because you actually were a target of abuse in the family and are really a validated survivor along the same lines as an SGA.

Anyways thanks for your post and I hope we are still friends.

Sincerely

Rocky