In Reply to: Re: welcome to the mid-life crisis years posted by MG on February 15, 2003 at 02:23:43:
Thinking on this topic: I realize that the family was a parasitical org. With that in mind,imo, they took in disciples that would be of use to them and not be a burden. THEN they took the talents that were ALREADY THERE within us and pushed us to develop and use them for the org. Looking at it in this way, it is not due to the fam. that we have these abilities. they just nurtured those innate abilities of ours to be used for what we later discovered to be the wrong reason.
With this frame of reference, it is then easier for me to say, whether I joined the military, the family, got adopted by driven parents or whatever, those skills were already there. I think there is a grieving process which is not cut and dried about how long it lasts or how it exactly unfolds regarding the time we spent using those abilities for the wrong reasons and dealing with the losses of what might have been. If the truth were told, I might also have died. I was very vulnerable and young (as were most if not all who post here) when I joined.
To me The(sick twisted) Family may have been the route that delayed death and gave me something to live for. Heroin could have been what did it also. (Delayed death and given me a purpose in life and ability to do things I would never have otherwise done in order to get the next fix, i.e. learn to be good at manipulation, prostitution, con jobs, ways to approach people I would have otherwise been scared to approach.) So does that mean the family or heroin are a positive chapter in anyone's book?(not currently under the influence, that is.) No. But it does help me to celebrate abilities channeled in the right directions that I used while under the fam. infl. and ones that I never got to use or develop, due to (much like heroin) being under the influence. Phew. Still so glad to be out from under!!!!!