In Reply to: FG or SG, the Familt robbed us all! posted by Thinker on February 24, 2003 at 09:47:08:
This rings so true to me. I remember as I began to have kids, became a single parent within the family(very early on), seeing what appeared to be "burned bridges" creating a ever-widening gulf between the possibility of making it at life outside the family. (Although the conscious thought was that this was a good thing). Then when there were vulnerable times and I considered leaving- on a more subconscious level; there was no way out. Within, I remember Berg ranting in a letter about how it was too late to leave. And saying that to leave and go back, there would be all these horrible things the country of origin (esp. U.S.) would do to us and our children, incl. come after us about why no taxes were paid while overseas.
Well, this is a lie. There is no fall out for this because it is essentially like being "employed" in the slave trade to be in the family. There is a lot of support to get OUT. It is scary because of all the things people are taught within the family. While it can be very hard to get out when you either had no support from family of origin or friends to begin with, or you have been in for a very long time, and those relationships are gone or irreversibly damaged, there are orgs. that are not connected to family that help people of all ages, men and women incl. with families, to get out of a controlling environment and get on their own feet. I am thinking now that there are also SGs within the family that have a number of children of their own. It can seem so overwhelming. I hope some read this (any age wanting out) and other posts and decide to get out. It is never too late to start over. I know I studied after leaving, had a career, changed careers and am now for a number of reasons unable to work, but this is so much more desirable than to be outcasted or sent out to pasture when I am no longer "of use" to the demands of The Family. Also, my kids, who went thru the hell of adolescence are grown now, and all have good professional jobs. Had we stayed in the fam, because of their assertive natures, they would have been pounded and dealt with and had so much more to overcome getting out of that. And the relationship between us (mother and children) would have been so much more complicated and painful. So, best wishes to all who want to get out. Use resources, use people who can or who are able to help you. There are resource sections listed. Check into them. I am available to do computer searches to find resources in your area. I would love to see someone requesting help. Go to a library, any public library and use a computer to make the request. Librarians will assist you to use the computer if you don't know how, so that you can set up an e-mail account. Then you can safely post and get e-mails without risking being dealt with by the family. If you are underage (a minor) and want out, and away from your family within the org., same thing. Or just go to the police. You DO have the power to make this choice, maybe not today, but in the future, in a more vulnerable time.