In Reply to: Re: PS posted by Peter in CR on March 04, 2003 at 17:02:19:
A difficult road and maybe that's why there aren't many takers.
When "romantic reflections" asked in "can we spin this off?" "You wanna get me started on a real graphic thread on human sexuality? I mean HUMAN sexuality, you know...not I love you god loves you praise god sexuality. I would not even call THAT sexuality from where I am now. When you don't have real freedom and a full choice, you don't really have erotic and romantic connection."
And WOW responded: "You've got some points 'ere mate! But flesh is the same and some encounters were good and others bad for males and for females. As there were some ugly ones there were some handsome and pretty ones too, you know it! "
That started an gender-based exchanged that culminated in "Hey WOW, YES to everything you said except the biblical quip :-) I think we are talking about much of the same thing after all...gotta run now as duty calls, but will keep going soon enough! "
Incredibly enough, there was agreement coming from two different perspectives. in other words, even though we may sometimes allow our gender to play a role in how we think about things, there were other forces such as hunger of power playing a stronger role. Maybe even the combination of several other human characteristics, such as an assertive female with lots of ambition who could not have children, or who for several reasons was in a critical position of leadership. Power trips were not confined to men.
I agree that masculine code directs silence on these matters but perhaps that's the reason why many think, especially women, that men in the family had it easy. I wouldn't say that men had it more difficult than women but there was generalized abuse of power in different forms and shapes in the family and many men suffered plenty of sexually-related pain. The point is the extraordinary abuse of power in the family. Those of us who stayed in willingly and are now suffering the consequences cannot blame anybody else but ourselves for staying in. But that is another topic and not everybody was ready to leave immediately after waking up.
I don't think many males will be willing to spill their guts but it might do wonders for their sanity if they did. Not only married but single men were abused, even if they didn't realize. In fact, many abused people often do not realize they are being abused.