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hope this does wonders for my sanity

Posted by MG on March 06, 2003 at 01:24:26

In Reply to: Re: A difficult to thread road-just a quip posted by romantic reflections on March 05, 2003 at 09:12:59:

It's true, not so many former men from the Family find it easy to talk about all this, we were victims too. I, like many others, was gung-ho, and my wife at first was reluctant to start FFing, but then later for fund raising to get from the west to the southern "mission" field became an Esser, and the function became easier for her to perform. I can't say I was actually a "pimp", but I was her driver as the calls came through from the escort agency. Berg had made the whole thing out to be exotic and adventurous, and that's the way I looked at it.

I will say, the whole time I worked hard taking care of the kids, schooling them, cooking etc. Childcare and teaching was my specialty anyway so that wasn't too hard for me and I enjoyed it.

When I think about it, during the FF years I did not have so many sexual sharing experiences with other sisters. Often we were living alone. And when I did get involved it was a real affair and developed into a close romantic relationship. After the FF years this happened again with another sister, and resulted in a child whom I have never seen, later the sister got married. (I've been thinking about trying to get an email address or something in order to find out how they are, and if the child that resulted who would now be 11 even knows anything about me. I don't know if this person is even still in TF. If anyone has any thoughts, advice, or abuse for me on this as to how far I should go to try to find out something about the girl and her mother, I'd appreciate it. I might not appreciate the abuse but you're welcome to sling it if it helps you.)

To sum this up, about the only time I had any wide variety in sexual partners was at the big GAFMs or NAFMs. Those were virtual orgies, with enough wine it seems like I was capable of just about anything. And my wife who was very conservative and resisted FFing at first, did become one of "God's Whores"- la Berg. But the experience did not destroy our marriage. I think we've all had a wide varitey of own experiences and outcomes with the whole deal, and it's definitely one of the most damning censures of Bergism and all it resulted in.