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exFamily.org > chatboards > genX > archives > post #7675

it's the validation dammit!

Posted by MV on March 06, 2003 at 01:54:52

In Reply to: Did you call? posted by Miguel on March 05, 2003 at 11:51:06:

I agree with you Miguel that "our reaction to FFing is closely related to our own different experiences and inclinations from even BEFORE joining The Family and it doesn't matter if we are a man or a woman. I am pretty sure that one of the reasons of why we joined The Family is related to our own personal need for acceptance, some sort of demonstrative love and reassurance." We do something or are motivated to do something because it fulfills a need. If the need wasn't there we wouldn't do it. And yes it is very personal and unique to the individual. Michael Green talks about it in his article which he sums up as the need for validation. It is a sweeping generalization but nevertheless true in every case. Looking deeply not just into our cultic past but deeper into our own childhood and upbringing may bring out unpleasant memories but will help us understand our current behavior patterns. Looking at our past, entire life history (not just the cult experience), in the context of identifying and breaking harmful cycles is a big part of recovery.