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Posted by Lyle on April 11, 2003 at 08:17:30

In Reply to: Re: From the ashes of defeat posted by acheiver on April 11, 2003 at 07:32:51:

You raise a good point, how to measure success. I didn't have in mind the big house or money but the realization of one's dreams and interests. Some people were materialistic even in the family but I'm inclined to think the vast majority was less so. We gave up lots of "things" and most exers I know about aren't that concerned about them. By the same token I don't think people will now discount any comfort they may have now but all in all I think we are an altruistic bunch who still are somewhat idealistic.

What I was trying to point out in my original post was that not all talents are acknowledged, even when they are obvious, simply because they wouldn't fit the mold. A couple I knew were very talented artists. She had great musical talent writing melodies and had a wonderful voice, the husband was a wonderful painter. Both of them gave up their talents to come in and learn the basic ropes. When I met them again, three years later, she was a child care for some big wigs and he was a plain litnesser. By the time I left, she was still being quenched, even though her musical abilities were very well known. He was still a jack of all trades but they had told him not to get close to art materials. I often wondered about these and I pray they are out now, using the talents they have. They would be making lots of money, I am sure, but the most important part would be their use of their talents. The resulting selfworth is what I am talking about.

Many of us left as a result of exposure to unsound doctrines and we realized they were wrong. When we applied ourselves to move on, we were successful. Some were kicked out mercilessly but then managed to pull themselves up and successfully moved on with their life. Whatever the reasons, the fact is that success became a part of the equation regardless of how we meassure success. Some people may think it is houses and money, others may think that is love and respect of their children. The bottom line is that freedom to exploit our own personal resources results in using our talents, which brings up self fulfillement.

So my question is, what do people who left the family need to get to that point? There may not be a recipe for all but are there some common characteristics, needs, etc. In my case, what I needed was infromation on how to move in society, simple things as how to do tax returns, private employment agencies vs. county agencies, how to get credit history, owning vs. renting, bank accouts, etc. It took me a lot of time to get all of that in the picture.