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A letter we received

Posted by staff on April 15, 2003 at 18:56:05

Dear X:

Thanks for your letter. I have started to write my story. I think I have to do it for myself regardless of where it ends up afterwards. Writing and getting it all out is very therapeutic, and I also think I need to do that for my kids, and grandkids too, so after I am gone it will give them some idea of what happened and why and hopefully they can glean the good out of it for each of their own lives. I have often contemplated writing a book, and may still yet, or possibly a collaboration with a couple of people I know!

Thanks for putting me in touch with K. She is very energized, and that is an important factor in the renewal process. You have to stay positive. I think that is what keeps you from falling in the pit. That is the main reason I have avoided former family contact with people who are crusading to expose the Family, because some of them are so angry and bitter, and their negative energy is very intense sometimes.

I have a lot of friends who are former members, but most of them are of the mindset that I have been, which is to turn the page, start over and don't dwell on the Family lest you get stuck back there. It can hold you back.

However, after my older kids found and shared it with me, I finally allowed myself to read the information with an open mind and I decided we need to face these things to have some closure on it and completely move on. I shared the info with someone here who is former member and she got very depressed and wound up crying and told me she didn't want to read any more of it because she found it too upsetting.

For myself, I realized that to make the best decision you can or form the most correct opinion you can, you need all the information and all the facts from which to draw. I think if you don't allow yourself to know certain things because they scare you, or they make you feel bad or maybe they expose you, then you are not really being honest with yourself, kind of like an alcoholic in denial. I realized I wanted to know the truth, no matter how bad it is. That was a big step for me. In the past I had avoided contact with former members because I did not want to hear certain things, but I now think I did myself a grave injustice, and I feel much better knowing the truth.

James Penn's articles are wonderful! His perspective on things and his attitude is very good and I plan to send some people to those particular articles and to Kathy Johnson's also, because for someone who is not interested in wallowing and griping, but wants the info, those are the ones to read!

Davidito's things really broke my heart, because I can't even imagine how hard it must be for him, and he is so angry at his Mom. That's gotta be tough. I hope he gets good support from someone.

Stay in touch!