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pseudo-spiritual serenity

Posted by MV on May 04, 2003 at 01:48:44

In Reply to: Re: Anger Management posted by MG on May 02, 2003 at 23:33:41:

That was the goal wasn't it? To exude that air of "spiritual" calm, that "faith and trust", by repressing the unacceptable emotions. We were like actors on a stage weren't we? mouthing words from a common script, stripped of our individuality, our personality. Even our joyful faces were in the script.

Yes, it is such a relief to have the freedom to scream when you feel like screaming, or cry, or laugh, or want to be alone. We were programmed to take ourselves and the "annointing" we supposedly had (by virtue of God's endtime prophet) very seriously. Too seriously it's pathetic.

I remember when I had just joined, we had a "sheep", a wealthy supporter, come over for sunday fellowship or something. Someone was sharing his lessons over a sin he had committed, something I remember to be quite petty and trivial (what it was exactly, escapes me now) and he and other members were crying. I remember feeling incredulous that they were making such a big deal of it but because I was just a babe I said nothing. Our visitor was himself as dumbfounded as I was and said something to the effect of "Hey no biggie, shit happens." My sentiments exactly. My shepherds afterwards told me that his reaction was so because he was unspiritual and a systemite. Of course I didn't want to remain that way and strove really hard to "attain" that level of "spirituality" that would earn me my crown. Jeeeezzzzzzzz.......I think we all have anecdotes of our past life that would either make our skin crawl or roll us up in laughter. I prefer to laugh, it's healthier.