In Reply to: family dramas posted by porceleindoll on May 22, 2003 at 02:05:11:
I really understand what you are going through. We have a similar situation. My daughter had her grandfather walk her down the aisle because he was the one she was closest to after we left and helped raise her. Also, she did not know for sure that her dad was coming and decided she would go ahead and ask her grandfather. Her father did end up coming and he held it against her and made her feel bad about it.
Of course, I would have loved to have blocked him from coming at all, but for the sake of the happiness of everyone, especially the bride, I let her make the choices. Remember, it is the brideís day and you need to understand that it is their decision. I realize it is your father and you want to make amends and move on, but you are not your sister. Think of how fragile emotionally you are and how things still upset you so deeply. Itís her day and she wants to be happy, she doesnít want to remember the things that in her past have hurt her, and like it or not, that is what he represents to her even if he is trying to move on. How about offering a compromise and he could participate somehow in a reception or a drink out afterwards? IMO, as hard as it might be for you, for the sake of your sisterís wedding, it might be better to let her have her way as she sees fit, good and bad. You may be mad at your family right now, but remember, they are still your family, the good, the bad and the ugly. Tomorrow when you wake up, they will still be your family. Tomorrow when you calm down, they will still be your family. Well, just some thoughts that hopefully help difuse the situation some.